┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 🍍 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈
[THREE YEARS LATER]
⇒ FAM Fertility Clinic
11:10am
He sighed heavily as his instep maintained patterned taps against the tiled floor of the fertility clinic. His head, aching with a pain that had started not too long after he signed his entrance at the front desk, stayed lowered to gaze down at his hands so blankly, as they were clasped in the air with elbows prepped against his thighs.
Chan was nervous. He wanted to cry and, the absence of some form of moral support did nothing but add to the distress overruling all attempts of positivity in thoughts. And then, despite the mental expectation that was supposed to linger for that call, the audible alert from a not-so-tall doctor was enough to quicken the already abnormal speed of his heartbeats. His head, it shot up to meet the fair woman's gaze, and the soft, friendly smile resting on her face couldn't help but force his own lips up into a similar expression.
"That's me." He spoke lowly, standing up to near the open door at which the woman was standing. Glancing back at the patient clients that occupied the few seats surrounding his, he sighed and nodded, the ache in his forehead almost strengthening when the closing of the door sounded so startlingly behind his back.
"How are you feeling today, Mr. Bang?" The woman asked sweetly, the unblemished white of her coat highlighting the black strands of hair that curved just above her shoulder. "Have a seat." She motioned an arm to the empty chairs positioned so neatly to the front of her desk as she herself claimed the larger, leather-covered swivel chair behind it.
"I'm- I'm alright. Just a little nervous is all." Chan faked another smile, face wasting no time before adopting a more serious and monotonous expression, and fingers clawing against the knee of his trousers ever so anxiously.
"I see your fiancé isn't with us today?" The woman recognized to be Dr. Hirai by the ID pinned onto the pocket of her coat, questioned cautiously as she pulled out a thin folder from one of her drawers. "How is she?"
"She's alright. But she has to work today, so I thought it'd be better if I just came for my results, you know?" Chan gulped thickly as the woman paged through his file with a rather intimidating nod lifting her head up and down, repetitively. "S-so... What did- what did the tests show?"
"Well, Mr. Bang, from what I see here, after comparing both your test results... You are the one with the main issue." She tried to state as calmly and reassuringly as possible, but the look of distress replacing the subtler expression of anxiety on the man's face was enough to emphasize her failure.
Yet she continued to speak, the disappearance of her soft smile dimming her lips into a fold of concern and, eyes not even able to remain locked with the glossy ones in front. "It even baffled me, since you're barely thirty. But you have something called secondary infertility."
Sniffling and drawing up both hands to rub out the tears threatening to escape his eyes, Chan shifted in his seat, body leaning forward to prep both elbows against the wooden surface of the desk and, intensified gaze practically forcing back a mutual stare with the doctor. "W-what exactly is that? Is- is it curable? Or- I can't have kids ever again?"
"Well, it can be treated, as long as we find out the root of your problem. And secondary infertility, in a male, is basically when a man was fertile previously, but is no longer able to conceive." Dr. Hirai frowned before closing the file and placing it on the far side of her desk. Then she too leaned forward, gazing at Chan so intently and comfortingly, unable to keep her hand from petting his fisted one when a tear was noticed to drip down and over his cheek. "Mr. Bang, I know that you said that you've observed nothing out of the ordinary on your body but, think back. Have you ever seen anything odd or... overgrown, in your genital area? Your testicles to be specific?"
"No. I haven't! Everything is normal, Dr.. I'm normal. I don't get it- I don't get this. How am I infertile?" Chan let more tears fall, allowing a soft cough to sound with his cry when a gentle squeeze could be felt against his clothed forearm. "What- what could cause this?"
"Well, I was thinking testicular varicocele but you're sure that you've had no growth or anything in your genital area, so now, I'm not too sure." She sighed, leaning back in her chair with a low groan and a sigh. "Many of the other explanations are more common in older men, so I can't draw up any conclusions. We could run a few more tests, and I could also ask you a few questions in case it's linked with emotional distress of some sort."
"Emotional distress? Like stress and pressure?" Chan asked, curious, once again lifting a hand to wipe his tears. "Too much stress can cause infertility?"
"Yes. Stress can lower testosterone levels." She paused, closely observing the shift in Chan's expression from mere sorrow to one of disconcertment, and once again leaning forward to rest her elbows against the table. "Have you been overly stressed for the past time in any way, Mr. Bang?"
"I- I don't know. Things have been normal... As normal as it's always been..." Chan hummed looking down and nodding before standing, not giving a care to the level of impoliteness in his action. "Thank you for your time, Dr.. I will continue to observe myself and keep you updated. But I have to go now... Should I make another appointment at the front desk for me to return and do the tests?"
"Well, no problem." She stood too, after that line, heading for the closed door to give him a proper escort back into the wider, more populated section of the clinic. "Should- should I let your fiancé know? If or when she comes by?"
"No. I will tell her- don't tell her about me, please."
"Alright. I will respect that. have a good day, Mr. Bang." She opened the door, smiling.
"Same to you too."
-
⇒ Sunshine Daycare
7:45pm
With wide eyes adoring the toddler sleeping so peacefully on one of the stacker beds in that daycare, Felix couldn't help but coo softly at the sight. His hands clasped to lift and meet his chin and his faced scrunched to emphasize the sudden mushiness of his emotions, almost persuading him to just cry right then and there.
But it seemed ridiculous- crying at the sleeping face of his son in public seemed all too ridiculous. So instead, he leaned down to pick the freckled toddler up, humming a soft, "It's daddy, baby. We're going home," and sighing satisfactorily when those heart-shaped lips returned to their resting state after a brief smacking of his tongue.
"Thank you. Have a good night." Felix whispered to one of the workers as he strolled out of the well-lit space with the child held up so carefully in his arms. And at the expected sight of a buffer figure leaning against his ride so buoyantly, Felix's smile couldn't help but brighten, lips instinctively parting to let out a low giggle when the latter left his leant post to match the pace of the other's steps forward. And then the clothed, muscular arms opened so widely, drawing closer and closer to the blonde male's front just to rid his small frame of the tiresome load of the child.
"Asleep already?" He hummed, face leaning down to plant the softest kiss at the toddler's temple. "Just makes the job easier I guess."
"Yup." Felix mumbled as he made his own way into the passenger's seat, watching and cooing at the way his partner fixed the child into the carseat so cautiosly and lovingly. "Sana said he ate well, and he behaved much beter today."
"Well, he's learning." The other spoke softly as he found his place in the driver's seat, wasting no time before staring up the engine for their journey back home. "Because you have been and always will be a good father."
"Binnie..."
"Hm?"
"You're making me shy," Felix whined, burying his face into his palms before settling in a gaze at the man by side so lovingly- adoringly. "I'm tired... I don't want to be all soft now."
"I know, baby. But I like making you soft... And don't worry, we're almost home. And it's about time you put my name in there so I'll be able to pick him up too. It'd save you that trouble after work, you know. I hate Fridays when you have these long ass shifts." The male huffed with the last sentence, leaning over to leave a quick peck on his lover's lips as he pulled the car to a temporary stop before a corner. "But hey, at least Kai is asleep already, so when we get home, we can have some alone time..."
"Binnie," Felix whined again, blushing.
"Hm? I can give you that massage you always like... And we could watch movies until we fall asleep? And then tommorrow, we could go for a walk? All three of us?" He requested cheerfully, lower lip trapping in between his teeth whilst one hand left the steering wheel to meet and squeeze the lower part of Felix's thigh, hopefully. "We could walk by the river-"
"Binnie, I have work tommorow..."
"You do?"
"Y-yeah... One of my coworkers fell sick, so I have to take up his shift..."
"Oh... well, I understand. Kai and I will keep you company at the café then." The driver smiled, glancing to the side to boast the wide parting of his lips to his boyfriend, making it known that the latter was the only person who could draw up that expression of joy on his face so easily. "What do you say?"
"Okay... I'd like that."
"Good... I love you."
"I love you too, Changbin."