FROM A TALL BUILDING, FAR FROM AOGIRI'S CURRENT HIDEOUT, AYA AND KEN WATCHED THE CITY OF TOKYO. The air definitely did good to Aya, as well as the distance from Aogiri. She was beginning to suffocate within those walls and constant thoughts, which she couldn't occupy without anything else, but future plans with Aogiri. Ken came in at the good time to take her away from her room and to the high buildings of Tokyo.
They jumped from one building to another, racing actually to see who is faster. Aya was far more adapted to the heights of Tokyo, which made her faster. Ken was following closely behind her, passing her a few times during their little friendly race. With heavy breaths and little laughter, they came to the tall building that gave them a good view of many main areas at Tokyo where New Year celebrations were taking place.
Ken watched Aya as she smiled – as if weight fell off her shoulders and as if that girl from his memory had returned. She twirled on the tips of her toes, she spun in circles, the cold breeze kissing her cheeks. Pretty... Ken thought with a smile adoring the corners of his cheeks. Giggle left her throat and she stopped spinning, facing Ken. She saw the way he was looking at her and immediately, it made strange sensation travel within her chest. Unintentionally, she cleaned her throat and turned towards the view of the city – trying her best at ignoring the fastened beating of her heart.
"I really needed to leave that place." Aya commented as she stepped onto the edge of the roof – and for a moment Ken's heart stopped; he thought she was going to jump. "My mind is fried from all the thinking." She said.
Ken walked towards her, digging his hands in the pockets of his warm coat. He stepped to the edge with caution – not yet really comfortable with the high places. Unlike him, Aya enjoyed them. She stood still with her hands in the pockets of her coat – mirroring Ken – and she breathed in, closing her eyes without fear of losing her balance.
"Why are you always in charge of Aogiri's plans?" Ken wondered out of the blue.
She opened her eyes, but didn't look at him. "Because someone has to." Was her answer – and yet, it did not answer Ken's question. "But I don't plan alone. Tatara and Eto help out as well." She said – her answer seemingly short; as if she didn't want to talk about it.
"What about the One-Eyed King?"
Aya looked at Ken, her expression unchangeable. The only reaction she had was the same smile which she has been gentle wearing since they came to the roof.
"What about him?" She wondered.
"Who is he?"
Aya let out a throaty laugh and she shook her head, as if she couldn't believe what he was asking her. She lowered herself down, taking a seat and putting one leg underneath herself while the other dangled off the edge. Ken followed – taking a seat next to her, cautiously. He wanted to know more – he heard the members of Aogiri mentioning him many times – but his identity was a mystery.
"I don't know." Aya answered. "I think he's just some title member of Aogiri created to make doves feel on edge." She told him.
"Oh..." Ken murmured.
Ken felt as if there was more Aya knew – that it wasn't just "some title" members of Aogiri created. He believed there was more – no, he was certain there was more. And Ken he would be able to find out from Aya – she was loyal to Aogiri. But she seemed troubled lately – the last couple of days have made everyone feel weary. The number of doves had certainly gone down, but Aogiri was ready for anything – that's why they had Aya – she had a rare sight that gave her an ability to see far and know when the danger is coming.
"You know I noticed you with Naki today." Aya broke the silence that surrounded them. "You feel guilty for killing Yamori."
Ken looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers – his nails still dark from the stress and torment Yamori had placed him through. His body had changed in so many ways after what Yamori did to him – he didn't even feel pain as he did before and it made him question if he's slowly turning into a monster. He didn't talk to anyone about what happened, not as if he had someone to talk to about it, and only now did a topic regarding Yamori came to the surface.
"This is not me." Ken confessed as he looked at his hands. "Ever since Yamori, I felt as if there is another person within me. One moment, I feel guilty for what I've done and the other, I feel as it was my right to kill him." Ken cracked his index finger.
"I would have been surprised if you managed to get out of that room with a sharp mind." Aya pointed out. "Every person Yamori broke before; died. And you survived – you've got to live for what kept you alive."
Ken looked at her – she was helping him; and Aya helped by using speech. Out all the ghouls in Aogiri, Aya was actually the most approachable one – she could be cruel but with a good reason and she could be kind because she had more heart than she gave away. With him, she didn't try to keep a touch façade, an untouchable attitude. With him, she was relaxed and that meant something to Ken – it meant a lot. Having her close, made Ken feel a lot at ease.
"You haven't changed." Ken chuckled and Aya tilted her head in curiosity. "I thought you are not that girl I remember, but...you are."
"Trust me, I'm not." Aya replied, shaking her head. "Aogiri changed me. It taught me that the world is not made of flowers, but of dirt and bones that hide under those flowers." She told him. "That girl you remember, she's there, but there are rare times when she shows herself." She made a thoughtful expression. "In fact, I think she's showing now."
She laughed, and as if it was contagious, Ken let out a laugh as well – surprising himself with the sound he forgot he could produce. To see him relaxed and laughing was something Aya had not yet seen – and it was a heart-warming sight. And she found herself staring at him, looking at his cheeks as they rose and brought a smile to his eyes. Ken looked at her, finding himself caught in off guard. She watched him with content, a true genuine look that told him she liked the expression she saw on his face. His cheeks flushed – being stared at made him feel socially awkward.
"It's nice to see you smile." Aya confessed. "It reminds me of the boy I remember."
There was admiration in their eyes. With her, Ken felt the weight of who he is and who he's meant to be disappearing and he was stripped free from all the suffering. The void he has been feeling within himself, as if a piece of him was eaten by his ghoul self, was filled with Aya. She knew him – and she knew him just by watching him, listening to him. She was a mystery – she was afraid. Afraid of not knowing something and losing – that's why she was the mind of Aogiri; that's why she always planned. Watched. Aogiri is her family.
Colorful explosion drawn out a grasp from both of them. They looked into the sky to see colorful flashes sparking up the night sky. In various shapes and sizes, fireworks decorated the dark sky – hiding the stars and bringing all the attention to the sparks that contained numerous sparks within. Aya missed it. She missed the feeling of tranquility in the moment – seconds that separated her from all the chaos around her and within her. It gave her chance to think about herself – her choices, her identity, her future. Many of her thoughts were shaped by life with Aogiri – it shaped the way she thought, but still – it did not change her entirely. There was still good in her – she was unsure. The lines of good and bad had been blurred within her.
"Happy New Year!" Aya spoke with cheerfulness in her tone – her blue eyes sparking with the lighter of the cracking fireworks in the distant sky.
She looked at him and she smiled. "Happy New Year." Ken told her.
His eyes wide for a moment as if a reminded popped out on top of his head. He unzipped his coat and reached out to grab onto something. Curiosity, Aya watched. And when she saw the object, she wondered when did Ken managed to get his hands on that object.
"And happy late birthday." Held by his hand, a book with a title Crime and Punishment was being given to her "I promised that I'll bring you a book with a better ending."
Aya let out a little laugh as she took the book gently. "You know I actually read this book once." She revealed – but that promise that he remembered, and kept it, brought so much joy into her heart – she was touched by Ken. "But, thank you." There was genuine look inside her eyes. "I'll read it again."
With affection, Aya laid her hand over Ken's – which rested next to him. Her heart was touched by his affectional gift with a meaning and she couldn't hide the content with herself. Ken looked down at her hand – he noticed the short nails with dirt underneath them here and there – but that did not bother him. In his mind, she was as someone he could not doubt. In his heart, she was someone he could trust and not regret it. Maybe he was being foolish for trusting her so easily, but something within him was clinging to her being – it was drawing him to her, just as the beetle is drawn to a flower.
◾
AYA AND KEN HAD FOUND THEIR WAY BACK TO THE HIDEOUT – they separated the moment they entered. Members of Aogiri who were guarding the entrance had seen them when they left and when they came – Aya had no doubt in her mind that little information had found its way through all the thin and thick walls of the hideout. Nothing in Aogiri went unseen or unheard of. Sooner or later everything comes to the surface and nothing remains in the silence.
Whatever joy Aya felt within her soul, diminished when she entered the room in which she slept, planned and rested by her lonesome. A girl wrapped in bandages stood over her table – looking at the plans that still needed to be finalized. Eto hummed to herself – examining the plans as if she did not notice Aya standing at the door frame; examining her presence in her private four walls.
Aya took a deep breath. "Eto." Aya firmly spoke as a greeting – stepping inside the room and throwing the book Ken had gifted her onto the unmade mattress on which she slept.
"Aya."
Eto copied, her tone with a bit of cheerfulness that it always had – as if she knew something more that Aya did; and Aya knew that Eto did have more knowledge then her in any case. Aya knew Eto for a very long time, she knew what kind of a person she truly is underneath those bandages.
"You were out quite a bit." She commented, her eyes glancing at the book that lied on her mattress. "Crime and Punishment, huh? A book with a very stupid ending." Aya glared at her.
"What do you want, Eto?" Aya set a question to hurry her up with whatever she truly wanted from her visit.
"I'm just checking up on you." Eto answered with a melodic voice. "I am like your older sister. I need to watch over you."
And Aya let out a laugh. Eto was nothing like her older sister – Aya looked at her as a necessary evil in her life. Without her, without her guidance, Aya would probably be lost somewhere in 24th Ward – most likely eaten by ghouls that are more powerful. Eto taught her how to be more than just a fledgling ghoul – she showed her all the cruel sides of the world and pushed her to be more. Eto was part of her – one of the people that made her.
"Oh, please, Eto. I am not a child." Aya pointed out. "What is that you really want?" She asked again. "You wouldn't be here if there is not something that you desperately want."
Underneath the bandages, a smirk came to the surface. "There is no fooling you, Aya, is there? Not anymore at least." She tilted her head to the side, the droopy ears attaching to her hood falling to the side. "That boy, Ken Kaneki, sure seems interesting."
There was a squeeze within Aya's chest – sudden anger flowing through her and itching her to confront Eto for mentioning him – for putting her sights onto him. Nothing good comes of it when Eto becomes interested in something or someone. Naturally, Aya found not even care about it, but with mention of his name, Aya felt a strong need to defend him, to do whatever she must to keep Eto uninterested in him. But that was impossible – he was an artificial one-eyed ghoul; an interest was unavoidable.
Aya wanted to let that protectiveness within her to burst out, but she didn't let it come to that. She controlled her emotions, breathing in and out with complete control. Eto watched her, carefully. She knew. Aya knew that she knew. Eto was testing her – just like she always did. She wanted to see how strong she was – or more precisely, how long will it take until she breaks, until the last string of sanity because so thin that it will break. And Ken Kaneki was a perfect test; in more than one way.
"He is not the one you're looking for." Aya spoke.
"He can still be shaped."
"Not without breaking him." Aya snapped lightly. "Found someone else."
Aya was taking a stand and to Eto that was amusing. She has found her backbone. Eto stepped close to her, and Aya did not even flinch as she skipped to her. With childish curiosity, she leaned forwards to her face, looking into her eyes with interest. There was something different within her, Eto knew she had changed so much during all the years that have passed. And she liked what she saw.
"So blue..." And a giggle escaped Eto's lips. "You smell of him."
Keep your nose off me! Aya wanted to yell aloud. But she restrained herself completely. Eto had a way of getting to people, but Aya did not allow her to get to her. She tried her best to remain untouched by all her provocations. Eto could it -- she could see everything.
With another giggle, Eto twirled on her tip toes to leave. "Find Kanou and then we'll talk."