Chapter 34
Logan
"Oh my God, you have lost so much weight! What, haven't they been feeding you around here?" Mom says before glaring at Adam. Then, she hugs me tightly again. I try to hide my grimace.
Why did I tell her to go fuck herself again? Now I'm going to have to be stuck with her for the next couple of days. At least back in New York, there are things that usually keep her busy, such as her friends, work, and buying clothes. But here, in the middle of nowhere, there's just me.
"I missed you so much. You know that, right? Yes, I didn't call, but that's only because by the time I finish work, it's like three in the morning here. I'm so sorry, sweetie." Her hand caresses my cheek and I give her a soft smile.
I wasn't going to tell her that this is not just about calling or leaving a text. This is about not caring to know how I'm doing. This is about not thinking of me, when I do think of her and dad and Noah quite often. This is about so much more than phone calls.
But instead of going down that lane, I shrug. "I know, I'm sorry, mom. I only sent you that voice because I was drunk."
Again, the glare is targeted towards Adam. "What part of don't let him drink or do drugs didn't you exactly get?"
Adam, on the other hand, is trying very hard to restrain himself. "Gee, you're welcome that I'm letting him crash here and eat for free."
Mom rolls her eyes. "Nonsense. Don't listen to him," She tells me. "I'm just so proud of you. I know about your job, and that you're coaching young kids! That is incredible. See? That's exactly why I sent you here. You needed to get away from all the capitalist noise and spoiled brats in New York City to find yourself."
Mom, you just wanted to get rid of me. Stop sugarcoating it. That is what I really want to say. Instead, I purse my lips into a tight smile. There's no use of fighting with her now, not when she's going to be glued to my side for the next four days. In other words, there will be plenty of time for us to tear each other apart.
Although I must admit that a part of me is considering pissing her off so that she'll leave sooner. She grabs her suitcase and motions for me to follow her. "I'll be placing my stuff inside. Come with me, I want to show you what I got you."
I reluctantly walk behind her. I notice that she's walking towards Emily's room, which makes my heart tug in my chest.
Emily. Her soft chocolate brown eyes flash in my mind for a second, accompanied by an urge to puke my guts out. She avoided me all day at work. I know that I deserve it because what I said was such an asshole thing to say.
With that being said, I definitely don't appreciate being led on. I hate that she thinks that I'm some sort of feckless playboy who only cares about sex and drugs. Especially that I... That I opened up to her, goddamn it. I don't do this often. In fact, I've never told anyone the things that I've told her.
She saw the side of me that no one else has - the real me. And still, I wasn't good enough. So yeah, that stings. Maybe because she's the only person whose opinion matters to me. Or that her smile lights up the entire fucking room. Or that the thrill that I get from bickering with her and having her challenge me and literally not take my fucking shit is one that I have never felt before.
And if it was any other girl, I know that my genes and muscles would be more than enough for them. But with her, she doesn't give a shit about men who are attractive or whatever. I don't even know what she gives a shit about. All I know is that it's not me. She doesn't want me. And it fucking sucks.
But even though Adam packed her stuff into the basement yesterday so that Mom can take her room, it still doesn't feel right for her place to be taken. So I take a deep breath and open my bedroom door. "Mom, here's your room."
Mom is surprised for a second. "Oh, you've taken my room instead of the guest room?" I can't believe that Em sleeps in my Mom's old room. It's ironic.
I shrug. "Yeah. It's warmer," I lied. It's not warmer, but it's closer to Adam's room and that's probably why Em took it. But again, Mom doesn't know of Em's existence.
She smiles. "Okay. I'll take the guest room then."
"Sure. FYI, Adam and I turned the guest room into a basement where we store the stuff that we need most so that we don't have to go all the way downstairs." That is such a good convincing lie that I resist the urge to high-five myself.
"Oh, smart. Sure, no worries. I'm going to unpack and call it a night. That seventeen hours flight really wore me down."
She gets on her toes and leaves a small kiss on my cheek. "It's so good to see you, my baby. Good night."
"Night, mom."
When I turn, Adam is staring at me. "You gave her your room?"
"It didn't feel right for someone else to sleep in Em's bed," I murmured as I walked back to the living room. "Plus, she's gonna flip if she sees the creepy black walls."
His hand stops me.
"Thank you, Logan. I appreciate it. I'm sure she will too."
"No, she doesn't need to know." I've already shown her that I care way too much.
"I take it that you two are still fighting?"
We're not still fighting. I wish we were fighting. Instead, she's pretending that I don't exist at all.
When I don't respond, Adam sighs. "Well, I'm introducing her to Jade tomorrow. So, I'm begging you, no drama from your side. I already have to prepare for a war from Jade's side."
I raise my arms innocently. "I promise, I'll behave."
"Thanks."
As soon as I walk into Em's room, her scent hits me. I fight the urge to groan as memories from last night rush back into my mind. Her fingertips on my neck, her lips on my earlobe, her hips against mine. The small breaths she'd let out and fuck my life, her moans are enough to make my knees weak.
I notice that her stuff are still on the counter. Adam was probably going to tell Jade about her tonight, assuming that he left the room as it is. I can't help but walk towards the drawer where she has two polaroids on the wall. The first one is a picture of the team at the office next to a Christmas tree.
My lips twitch upwards at the sight of everyone carrying Em. She can be such a diva sometimes.
The next one is of her and Adam skiing. They have their thumbs up and wide smiles.
Next to the pictures is her perfume bottle. My hands reach to smell it. The strong scent of vanilla hits my nostrils. It smells just like her. Next is a bunch of hair ties and clips, since she always has her hair up in a messy bun.
Fuck - I can't do it. I can't stay in her room tonight. I can't. In fact, I need to get the fuck out of here. I'll just sleep in the basement tonight, even if it's freezing.
I close the door after me and walk downstairs. I have mixed feelings towards the basement. On the one hand, it's a dump, there's literally no arguments there. But, on the other hand, it's cozy and Em has hidden some gems in there, I just know it.
Looking through old Vinyl records and books might take my mind off things for a while. Before I could plunge into my search for the hidden gems around here, I notice that my phone is vibrating on the desk.
Mar.
I can literally sense a headache coming my way. But at the same time, I haven't spoken with her in a while and I owe her that, at least.
"Hey, Mar. I miss you."
There's silence for two seconds. "Hello?" I try again.
"Hi," Her voice is a breath. "I didn't think you'd pick up."
I'm such an asshole. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've just been-"
"Crazy busy. I know, you keep saying that."
Uh oh. She's awfully calm. Mar is never awfully calm. Unless she's on anxiety pills, that's when she gets this way. Ah, fuck - "Mar, are you back on Benzos?"
She lets out a long sigh. Fuck, Mar. My hand covers my forehead. "Mar, you shouldn't be on those. You know what happened last time."
But instead of saying anything, she just bursts into tears. And the award of the dick of the year goes to - Logan fucking Emerson.