Two months ago
Lucy sat on the ground in the Forest of Tranquility, her arms trembling as she flipped the last page of the tome for the third time.
"Go — no!" she threw the tome away for the seventh time. "There has to be something! There has to be!"
She ran a hand through her hair, hitting her head against the tree.
Where was Lloyd? She needed her brother right now.
He doesn't care about you and you know it.
No, no, he cares. Lucy denied the intrusive thought. She forced herself to her feet and after a second she spun and punched the tree she was previously leaning against.
And it was obliterated.
Lucy grit her teeth, muttering a curse as she brought her hands up to her hair again.
You're dangerous. They won't care about you when they learn how destructive you are.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Lucy screamed, sobs wracking her whole body.
Her hands interlaced into her blonde hair and pulled.
She didn't think that way. She didn't. So why were those thoughts there?!
After a long moment of silence, Lucy opened her eyes and immediately, they landed on her phone, which was set about a foot to her left on the ground.
It had turned on, and Lucy could see she had zero notifications.
And she had signal.
Lucy shook her head. Her hands balled into fists and her nails dug into her palm.
"Maybe they're just busy. Yeah, just busy. M-Maybe Steep Wisdom is just booming now. Yeah — yeah that's all."
Blood trickled down onto the grass and Lucy didn't flinch, her teeth gnawing on the inside of her cheek as her mind moved faster than she could understand.
"Hey? Yeah it's Lucy again," Lucy said quietly when she called Harumi.
She doesn't care.
"Hey Luce, you need help with makeup? For the fifth time?"
Lucy weakly smiled. "No, sorry I'm not calling because I need help with makeup again. That would be the third time."
Harumi laughed and Lucy's smile was a little softer. "What's up, Lu?"
"I need some help," Lucy admitted. "And you can't tell anybody about it."
"Okay, I'm on my way," Harumi said.
Lucy was taken aback. "You — I'm not at Steep Wisdom. I'm in the Forest of Tranquility."
There was silent on the other side for a split second. "That's pretty far away Lucy,"
"I know that's far away," Lucy sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, I called cause I need some help with something big but private. I don't want my brother to know about it. So can you or can you not help? It could be extremely dangerous but... you said you could handle danger to a certain extent."
Harumi laughed. "Like I said, I'm on my way. Just hold out 'til I get there goldie."
Lucy rolled her eyes, smile still soft. "See you soon, snowflake."
She hung up and her smile lingered.
She's going to hurt you.
And the smile disappeared.
Why do are you even trying for them? They obviously don't even care. You have this power now just kill them. Kill them all!
Lucy shook her head, curled up against her bike. The voice came back while she was going though her camera roll and
found a picture with the whole team...
No. I can't hurt Lloyd, I can't hurt people. It's wrong and —
What about the ninja? They've never cared about us. A bit of revenge wouldn't hurt.
Lucy hesitated... that — no. No. She couldn't hurt them. No way.
The voice kept going, kept telling her to kill them. To hurt them. And it just wouldn't stop no matter what.
It'll be so easy! We know they don't think things through that well, they win through brute strength and luck. It'll be so easy to outsmart and overpower them!
Stop it!
Lucy begged the voice. It needed to just stop! She didn't want to hurt them. She didn't want to anyone...
But a bit of fire here and some earthquakes there, some tsunamis and electrical storms, make them think they have the upper hand and then take them down.
Stop...
Lucy felt blood trickle down her palms and the voice was silent for a moment. A nice long moment so the only thing she could hear was the dripping rain.
They beat us down, they pushed us to the point of feeling worthless and less important than we are. They deserve to be hurt. They deserve to be destroyed.
No.
Lucy squeezed her palms tighter, digging her nails in deeper but this time it didn't silence.
They have hurt so many people, so many casualties. They deserve it.
They don't!
Lucy wanted to scream but even so... the Great Devourer, the Overlord, Chen, there had to be some sort of casualties. Some sort of collateral.
They do. And we can bring them to justice, bring them to their knees and end it all.
Lucy shook her head. More blood trickled onto the wet grass.
I can't... I can't just... I won't hurt them. You can't make me. Nobody can make me do something I don't want to do.
What about yourself?
Lucy froze for a second before she shook her head again.
You aren't me. Just get out of my head!
Lucy wanted it to just leave. She needed help. Where was Lloyd? Where was her brother, she needed him. She needed help.
He doesn't care about us.
"No! No he does!" Lucy screamed, her throat burning at the pure pain she forced from her vocal cords.
You're lying to us. To yourself.
JUST GET OUT
Lucy wanted Lloyd. He would be able to help. He always was.
I am you. You did this. I am a part of you that's been here as long as your powers have.
You aren't me. I'm me —
And I'm you. Stop fighting yourself, Lucinda. The Ninja aren't even here trying to help us, just that civilian girl and the only reason she's helping us is because you saved her parents. She doesn't care about us, she only cares about repaying her debt.
No. No you're wrong.
Harumi cared about her too, they talked practically every night over phone... she cared. Lucy knew she cared. Harumi was on her way to help her now.
Just admit it Lucinda, we're one in the same. Once you accept that, everything will be so much easier. How many times have I told you, the Ninja don't care. They've ignored you so many times. Always choosing Lloyd over you, even now they're choosing Lloyd over you. Not even bothering to call you, to come looking for you, to make sure you're alright. It's all about Lloyd.
No... stop!
But they did take the time to train him — no. His learning how to control his element had the fate of the world in the balance.
...they care about me.
I don't believe you, because you don't believe yourself. And after all, I am you.
I... I don't...
Lucy wanted to scream.
She wanted it to go away but...
Yet...
It was right.
It was fucking right.
You're right. I'm right.
The moment Lucy admitted it, the moment she was true to herself, power flowed through her body. It gripped her insides and she let out a guttural scream.
—
A little flashback for the hungry kiddos.
Alright, so my new schedule update for this month and this month only, consider it a Christmas gift is:
Dec. 7 (today)
Dec. 16
Dec. 20
Dec. 22
Dec. 25
So that's my game plan, I had a little burst of motivation so I got a few chapters, which was lucky since it's the Holiday season. I'm giving you guys the gift of the end of the climax of this season on Christmas Day.
So let me know what you think and somebody yell at me if I forget to update one of those days. Love you all! Happy holidays!
💚 ~ Bye!