『it's the end of an era.』
The last day: forty-five
"Eri?" A voice whispers. "Eri darling?" The girl doesn't stir.
The teen boy laughs. He loves Eri so much. The ways she smiles in her sleep. He soft curly hair. Her gorgeous red eyes. The fact she cares about Izuku. She'll ask him questions, she'll learn from him. Eri is the best sister he could ask for.
"Hay baby." Izuku coos gently, one hand running through light messy curls. The girls face scrunches up before two red eyes tiredly open. Izuku sighs, he doesn't want to do this.
"Brother? What's wrong?" Eri says rubbing her eyes to wake up more. She always seems to know when Izuku is hiding something, or when somethings wrong. Izuku believes it's because she's observant, she notices small changes and picks up on them quickly. If given the chance Eri will go farther than Izuku ever dream he himself could. She'll do fine in this world.
Izuku smiles and helps her sit up before sitting down next to her on the bed. Man this is harder than he thought it would be. All night he's been going through this plan, what he'll say, how she'll react. He thought he was ready. He's gone through every scenario he could possible dream up in his restless night. 3 hours of sleep is a surprisingly long time for the brain to think up worst case scenarios.
"Brother?" Eri repeats gathering his attention once more. Izuku turns to face her and sighs sadly. He hates what's about to happen. But there's no backing out. He's doing this for her. For them.
"Eri, you know how much I feel the need to fix things?" He starts. The girl nods her head. "Yes, it's one of the sacrifices you make for us daily." She replies sounding so much like an adult Izuku may just cry.
"Yes, well I need to go fix some," he pauses. "Some bad things." Eri furrows her eyebrows. "Bad things?" She echoes. It's clear her brains ticking down to connecting the dots.
Izuku nods. "Yes darling, some very bad things. If I don't fix it, I fear that they'll hurt us." Izuku talks slowly so she'll understand. Eri is incredibly smart for her age, she's hidden it well so their father wouldn't abuse it. However she is still a child. "Is it the bad people?" She asks. "Yes." Izuku answers nodding his head. "Yes it is."
Eri frowns. "Oh." She says looking down. "Did father do something wrong again? Why does it fall to you too fix it? Father isn't supposed to be your resp- raspon- responce-" She scowls questioning the word. "Responsibility?" Izuku whispers. "Yes you're supposed to be fathers responsibility not the other way around." Izuku tears up. "You're a beautiful young woman Eri. You'll go so far in this world."
"Brother dont-" Eri whines sensing the worst that's about to come. "It's not your fault. You didn't make the problem." She argues.
"I'm the only one who can solve them tho." Izuku laughs ruffling the white haired girl. "Don't let anyone tell you, you're not smart. You are an amazing young lady and I'm so proud." He exclaimed. "By your side." The girl whispers. " I want to be by your side."
Izuku ignores the pain in his chest at his sisters words. "Remember what I told you yesterday, about my plan?" Izuku questions. Eri shakes her head wide eyed. "No." She whispered. "No Izuku please." Her voice raised.
"It's the only way to protect you from him. He's nothing without it. I'll take it for good and he will disappear." Eri whines. "No!" She shouts. "Let the heroes do it! They want him dead so let them do it!" She argues. "They can't Eri, I'm the only one." Izuku says calmly. "No brother! No!" Eris panics. "He'll take you too!"
"It's okay Eri, I'll make him vanish without the death. He won't take me to since he won't die. It's okay, just," Izuku boops eri's nose. "Poof!" He chuckles. "But brother," Eri pleads. "What will happen to you? It will hurt you! I don't want you to get hurt! When we were home and you were sick- father said you were okay- but, but, you looked so bad! I had to check you were alive because... because you looked so damaged."
Izuku sighs. He brings the girl into an embrace cradling the back of her head and back. "I'm so sorry. No child should have to do that. No child should have to mature and understand like you do. I wish you didn't have to be dragged into this but I can't go without knowing you'll be okay. I've been sick for a long time, and father has kept me suffering since. He's being selfish and possessive of me and it's not fair to anyone. I'll stop him for us. I'll make a world where you'll be safe and can do whatever you dream." Izuku says softly. His smile never breaking yet the pain it holds is immeasurable. He would never want to leave Eri alone. But if it's to protect her? Then without question.
He really has no choice. His hands are tied. He has to help Eri and Aizawa. And maybe just maybe along the way he'll become free. He'll be able to let it all go, and walk away with no baggage.
"I can't leave without saying goodbye to you. You're my most precious thing in my life." Izuku says green eyes dulled. Eri pulls back shaking. "Goodbye? I knew it. Where are you going? Why would you go?" She asks panicking.
Izuku does his best to sooth her. Taking her shaking hands in his own. He holds them together and presses them against his chest.
"I'm going to fix everything."
Eri tries to understand. She really does. She tries to use everything she's learnt to understand what her brother is saying but she's still only child. Only seven years old at that. And there are things she just won't understand until she's older. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't give anything to understand it now. She wants to know- needs to know where her brother is going. Then, maybe then she could stop him.
"I'll have to leave you here where you're safe. I'll send Tomura to you when I find him okay? He will protect you. I have to take Mr. Aizawa with me for a bit, but I promise you'll be safe here. Aizawa will come back with big brother."
"But what about my other brother?" Eri asks sniffing.
Izuku places a hand to the girls cheek and smiles warmly. "Eri, listen to your brother okay, he and I love you very much, he was hurt by father like us. He will protect you and keep you safe. He can do what I can't. He can explain to you why I can't be here."
"Izu-nii!" Eri cries clutching onto the boy. "I love you eri, I love you so much. You are going to help so many people with your quirk. I'll make sure you can grow up in a world where you are safe."
Eri's face falls and Izuku can feel the affect on his heart. He really hates this. But he's running out of time. As much as he wants to stay here with Eri forever, to forget the outside world and just hide, he can't.
"Don't be sad okay?" Izuku says bringing the girl into a tight hug. He rubs a soothing hand up and down the girls back. The way he has so many nights. "I need you to be brave for me." He whispers. "Can you be brave?"
Izuku pulls back to see Eri nodding. Her red eyes are glossy and her cheeks are tinted pink. "I can brother, but your eyes seem so scared. You don't want to leave I can see it. Is it because it's hard to fix this problem? Why dose it sound like you won't come back?" Izuku shivers at the words. Eri really hit the nail in the head. "Oh my baby..." Izuku smiles kindly holding back all other emotions. He can't crumble in front of Eri. He can't show a strong emotion, not yet. "Can you promise you won't leave here? Remember what I said, there might come a time where you need to run and I won't be able to follow you?"
Eri nods grabbing at Izuku again. Her actions seem frantic and scared. It's clear she's been holding back, but a damn that is destined will always break.
"But- but- you said yesterday!" She shouts. "You said you'll never leave me! You said we can be together!" Eri pleads. "Please, take me or stay here! I don't want you to leave!" She cries. "Please brother please!"
Izuku shakes his head. Not yet. He can't let his emotions free yet. Even when his heart is breaking, and his eyes are stinging. He can't cut what little time he has left short.
Eri screws her eyes closed letting out a loud sob. "I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE!" The girl screams full on sobbing.
Izuku's breath hitches, oh no. His carefully built walls crumble down and lay in a pile of rubble. It seems a damn that's destined really will always break.
Izuku's emotions flow free, crashing in waves all around him. He can feel it. There's a shift. Something is triggered and he hears it. It's begun.
"It's okay," Izuku ushers letting his own tears fall. "Hush now it's all alright," a sob escapes him. Izuku takes a painful breath in and sings.
"Hush now my baby, be still love, don't cry. Sleep as you're rocked by me. Sleep and remember my last lullaby, and I'll be with you when you dream." Izuku sniffs watching as Eri slips her eyes closed. "World, oh world be gentle for me. Such precious cargo you hold. Do you know somewhere she will be free? Destiny deliver her there."
Eri fought hard to stay awake but a soothing song will always work on her. Especially one that holds Izuku's plea.
"When you wake The world will be safe. I hope you won't hate me. I love you." He says leaning down kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry my darling, but I'll do what I must to protect you." Izuku whispers.
Eri whimpers but relaxes back into sleep. Izukus glad she didn't say anything. He hasn't explained to her what's going on. He didn't have time. His emotions are sky high. But one things for sure, he will protect Eri. He will always protect Eri.
Izuku my doll what's wrong why are you not at home?
"She doesn't deserve abandonment Izuku." Aizawa says greeting the boy at the door. Izuku sighs rolling his eyes at the man. "Tomura will do what I can't." He replies coldly.
"Ah. But what about what you can? Can he love her like you do?" Izuku stiffens. "I'll do what I can by protecting her. If I don't return that's on me not her. And don't assume things about my family. Tomura is a perfect big brother. And that's to both of us." Izuku snaps.
Aizawa walks along side the boy, keeping pace. "She'll blame herself fully Izuku. She's been through this before. That brother of yours can't love her like you do." He says simply.
"Shota-" Izuku says. A warning. "Midoriya." Aizawa says back. A challenge. "Don't you ever call me that!" Izuku snaps harshly. "I thought I told you, back off my family!"
Aizawa raises an eyebrow. Almost laughing. "Oh? Why not it's your name is it not? Am I just supposed to not address you? Call you a thing a tool. Like you're being used?"
Izuku scoffs. "Might as well. You did just used me for your own advantage." Aizawa huffs.
"Aww don't like the truth hero?" Izuku teases. "Come on tell me. What did bringing me in get you? some extra cash? A promotion? You wanting to claim a victory?" He questions.
"God." Izuku says fed up. "You're pathetic. Heroes like you should just die. I'm shigaraki, thats, Izuku Shigaraki. You'll do right to remember that. Now take me out of here or I will personally call for my father." Then adds "and you don't want that I'm sure. Too much paperwork. I have a stop to make before I leave, you can escort me."
The two fall quiet walking in circles around the wing. Then after a tense silence. It's over.
Izuku falters immediately, collapsing to the floor in a heap. Aizawa rushes to his aid. Izuku's pale and sweaty but he's smiling. That smile makes Aizawa uncomfortable. Just what is this boy putting himself through for the sake of Japan?
It scares the hero. Izuku with his dull green eyes open a crake can see it. That's a first. And maybe it should worry Izuku, but it doesn't. Izuku huff a smile. Shota cares. Shota cares a lot.
"Is it over?" The hero mouths dropping down to support Izuku. The man places a hand to izuku's forehead. No fever luckily. The other hand goes to his back keeping Izuku sitting up.
Izuku notes he doesn't flinch at the touch. It's so light and gentle. It reminds him of a memory midoriya showed him, one from when he was alive.
It's nothing like his fathers hold. Possessive, obsessive, manipulative. No this is warm, and comforting and just perfect. It's a kind gesture and Izuku feels his worry melt away. So he stays like that. Leaning into Aizawa and listening to the hero breathing steadily.
After a moment the white haired boy nods gaining his breath back. He smiles tiredly your at the hero. "He's taken the bait." Izuku sighs. His green eyes have dulled significantly from the feral toxic green they were a few days ago. They have deep bags hanging under them rivalling Aizawa's own. This was definitely his kid.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Aizawa. I didn't mean anything I said." Izuku panics speaking quickly. "You're the kindest hero I met. You're genuine and generous and strong. You care about people and don't care about fame. You do the dirty work and that's so admirable. You teach people and you teach me. You cared about me and you listened to me even when I just appeared in your house."
Aizawa smiles letting the boy cling onto him in a panic ramble.
"It's all right problem child. I put two and two together. It had to be believable right. Although I didn't find any of it believable, your face showed too much fear. But more than that, I know you. You're nothing less than kind. And it's sad to hear your voice lost of life." He spoke raking a hand through white curls. Izuku snorts. "I guess you could argue that I've lost my life." He giggles. "Izuku." Aizawa warns. "Sorry sorry." The boy laughs. "It's my dark humour."
Izuku nuzzles his face into Aizawa's scarf. "Mr. Aizawa?" Izuku asks. "Call me shota, problem child, he'll call me hobo sir or therapist, just not a name that makes us sound like strangers." Izuku blushes at the unexpected moment. "A-ah thank you shota. I know I used to call you all those things- but that was before A-and now everything is messy and I'm about to go out to battle my biggest fear- and- and..." he trails off. The floor has never been so damn interesting.
Aizawa sees it. Here we go. "What's wrong Izuku?" The hero asks in a low voice. "I'm so scared." Izuku confessed. The hero nods. It was an answer he expected. And in a moment of transparency he smiles. "I'm scared too," he admits. "You won't tell me your plan, you asked me to play along while I assume your father was listening in. You say a farewell to Eri. You have a trick up your sleeve that I'm positive won't end well for you. What am I supposed to think? You worry me. I'm practically a mess." Izuku giggles. "When are you not Mr. Hobo sir? You do own a lot of cats."
Aizawa smiles at the old nickname. "I have two. Three if you count yourself." He grins. Then turns serious. "Will you be okay?" He asks. Izuku shrugs. "It's a 50/50 really. But either way it will be a better outcome."
"Will you get injured?" Izuku shrugs again. "That's about 80/20."
"Could it be fatal?" Aizawa presses. Izuku just looks down.
"Kid." Aizawa pushes. "I'm... I'm not sure. It depends." He explains. "If I'm alive now because of a quirk then I won't die... probably. Let's say that's 5%" he huffs. "But if I'm being kept alive because of a quirk then I will almost definitely die. A solid 95% I'd say." Then pauses. Shivers. And looks away. Izuku seems ashamed almost. Well Aizawa can't have that can he?
"That's not what I wanted to hear problem child." Shota says exasperated. Izuku laughs. "Sorry, sorry. But I want to tell you the truth even if I can't tell you my plan. I want you to know the risks. You already know why I'm taking them: I will protect the ones I love from him and I'll do anything to do that, even lay my own life down." He says happily as if it's as easy to die as it is to boil water.
The hero ruffles Izuku's hair. "And people still argue that you're not a hero." Shota muttered.
"I don't really do talking feelings, but I think that I'll make an exception for you. I care about you problem child that won't change. No matter what you say to me, no matter how you act towards me, no matter what you do to me, I will never stop caring about you. You'll always be that scared kid standing in my kitchen counter."
Izuku, overjoyed at the only father figure he's ever had words, squeals hugging the man tightly.
"You sound like a dad!" He giggles too happy to care he almost called shota dad. "You know Shota, I class you as one of my family members, one of my closest family member. I love you like I do Eri." Izuku hints.
Aizawa grins at the boy. He connected the dots and would happily admit he basically adopted Izuku the moment he saw him. I mean he calls him problem child! You try argue that Aizawa is not attached to this kid. His kid. "I should hope so kid."
"Okay I can do this! Come on Izuku pull yourself together." Izuku says pacing.
Aizawa chuckles amused by the boy. "Getting cold feet?" He teases. Izuku pouts. "No way I just need to open that door." He says glaring at the door. Izuku deflates, "but shota." He says softly leaning against the wall. His eyes flash gray and Aizawa noticed the boys demeanour changed.
"I'm not their Izuku. They knew my alive self. I don't have the memories they do. I only know what he's seen. Midoriya was very kind to me once he new I wasn't on my fathers side. He showed me memories. He told me stories. He helped me remember you! But no matter how hard I try, I'm not him. I didn't live his life."
Behind the door stand two boys. The same two boys Midoriya was in love with.
"It will be hard for them to accept you don't love them like he did. But if they loved him they'll let you go." Aizawa says in a moment of wisdom.
"As true as that may be, you've only known me like this shota." Izuku says laughing sweetly. "Like what kid?" Izuku's face softens "how'd you know?" He asks. Aizawa smirks. "Your emotions have always given you away. Your eyes flash gray, your hair is white and you sometimes flicker."
Izuku nods. "This body was never ment to house me. It's dying, was dying when father tried to stop it. I think that's why fathers so desperate. He can't do it all much to his dismay. But after today, after what I have planned it will finally be over. I'll be free to move on. The world will be safe. You and Eri will be safe."
"Then that's all the more results for them to let you go."
That's right. Aizawa is right like always. They are two boys that Izuku has put way to much strain on. But dead or alive if they loved Midoriya they'll accept the fact Izuku is not him or theirs anymore.
"Okay." He breaths shaking his head. Tufts of white streak and turn green. Gray eyes open to be back to green. It's still dull but it's green nonetheless.
"I'm going in." Izuku's hand reaches out for the handle his fingers shaking and for a second he thinks he'll phase right through.
But the handle twists and the door opens. Izuku keeps his head down stepping in and closing the door behind him.
There's shuffling in front of him before he's engulfed in a hug. The greenett feels the familiar sensation of tears welling up in his eyes. For Midoriya. He's here for Midoriya.
"O-oh." Izuku croaks out. "Ha ha you two remember then." Izuku sniffs feeling the memories he's watched come to life. "I can't believe how long it been." He closes watery eyes. "How are you darlings?"
"So that's what happened up until now, where I'm here telling you." Izuku finishes. "Deku shit- that's... that's messed up." Bakugou says pulling at spiked hair. "I know, I'm sorry." Izuku says ashamed. "No, no Izuku look at me we are not angry at you, after trauma it's common to feel split, I know I did." Todoroki says firmly. Izuku goes to corrective boy but he's spoken over. "The fact someone would go to such lengths, dose he even love you that much? He's the worst father, what the hell is wrong with him?!" Bakugou says feeling anger and sadness clash inside him.
"Kacchan he doesn't love me. He's obsessed with me, he's using me. I'm a tool. I'm different now." Izuku says softly trying gently to hint at todoroki. "He's using you?" Todoroki echoed. Not what Izuku was hoping he'd take away from that.
Izuku nods standing up. "Yes. Now I need you to do something for me." He says. The two others share a look before nodding. Izuku smiles. "Okay, I need you to be there for each other, and I want you to meet Eri. And don't be mad at Tomura! He's being used like Eri and I are."
"Who's Tomura?" Todoroki asks looking to Bakugo. The blond shrugs looking to Izuku.
"Oh right that's shigaraki's first name, but I think Midoriya told me it's actually Tenko shimura. Maybe father changed it? Please don't hold this over him. He's just like me. And Eri, my sweet baby. She's so young to be caught up in this. Help her become a hero, for me." Izuku begs.
"This is getting even worse." Bakugou scoffs. "That Eri brat I can handle, she's... cute or whatever but that sick villain that took you in the first place? I don't think so!" Todoroki nods along. "Yes I stand by bakugo. How are we expected to forgive the man who helped cause you trauma?"
Izuku frowns. "He's being manipulated like I am. Midoriya told me and I still let it happen." He huffs. "If you're mad, direct it at me." Izuku says. "God knows you'll hate me after this is over."
"What do you mean by that deku?" Bakugou says harshly. "We could never hate you." Todoroki corrects. Izuku shakes his head. These two aren't getting it, or they refuse to believe it. Izuku will have to change that. "Do you accept me?" The greenett asks.
"Do you accept me right now?" He pushes. Taking a step back.
"Of course we do." Todoroki answers. Bakugo just nods.
Izuku takes in a calming breath, countering what he's about to say. "Then you both accept the fact I'm dead."
There's a pause before, "You're not dead." The two boys say at the same time.
"I am." Izuku response calmly. "I was killed over 40 days ago. I am no longer alive. I have no attachment to my physical body. I am not Midoriya." He responds flatly. No point in sugar coating it.
The two look sceptical so Izuku huffs a laugh. "Honest, I'm Izuku," He release his control over his body and let's his appearance crumble to his original one.
"Thats Izuku shigaraki. I am my fathers clone. I am quirkless." His hair is white his eyes gray and lifeless. His body covered in scars head to toe. And now its time for the final blow.
"I also have no memories of you. Either of you." He says staring at the two.
Izuku takes amother step back. The silence is deafening. And unnerving. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Was it too harsh? To soon? Oh do they hate him now? Maybe he shouldn't have said that!
"But I do love you. Or maybe I love what you and Izuku had. Love the idea of you? No that doesn't sound great." He fumbles. "Umm let's see, I love the dreams I get about you. I love watching the memories of Izuku Midoriya when they pop up. I love his emotions. I love his weaknesses. I love his strengths."
Izuku let's his body warm with the feeling. "I've kept hold of my past self. We've merged of sorts. But I am not your izuku, I'm my fathers. We are two beings inhabiting the same frail body. I can't love you like he did. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. I just love you differently. It's not romantic, I hold no love like that. Not for you both anyway."
Izuku let's out a frustrated noise his being flickering like an angry flame. "Im really sorry." He says sadly. "I don't remember you, or us or anything. Im just an imposter watching Midoriya's memories like a movie. I can't experience what he did I can only adapt to what he's shown me."
"No, no." Bakugou says grabbing Izukus arm harshly. "You're izuku! You're still our izuku." He argues. "If you weren't you wouldn't have come here to say goodbye!" Izukus eyes widen. "How did you-" "You are ours. We just have to get your memories back." Todoroki says grabbing onto Izukus other arm.
"Don't do this." Izuku says quietly. "I know It hurts, but I can't remember what I didn't do. I'm not him."
"Yes you are!" Bakugou roars. "You are my izuku, my deku. I've known you my entire life. No matter what you look like, I know you. You will remember me! You'll remember us. I'll make sure of it."
Izuku starts shaking at the tone. This isn't what he wanted. "I'm not, I'm not him." He begs. "Please understand."
Todoroki cups his face lifting it to look up. "Now then love, You need to remember us. Don't make this hard for yourself. You know me and you know kat. We helped you. We searched for you. We have a secret hide out in the woods. You love that place. We can take you there, if you remember."
Izuku shakes his head. "No." He whispered. "I'm not midoriya. I'm not him. Let me go. Please stop it. Just listen to me." He says overwhelmed.
Todoroki's eyes show rage and Izuku can't tell if it's directed at him or not. "I'll make you remember me. I will." He says lowly.
Izuku sobs flickering in their hold. This time due to being scared. This is it. The proof he's not really Izuku. Proof he's not really alive. "You can't force me to remember what I didn't loose, why can't you hear me?" Izuku asks.
Todoroki's grip tightens feeling the boys shifting. The hand on his face grabs harshly, nails digging in. "Look at me izuku." Todoroki demands sweetly. The trembling boy can't. He can't look up at them. These aren't the kind boys he seen and heard. These aren't the two Izuku fell in love with. This isn't love.
He's never felt so conflicted with himself. He's know Izuku died. He knows he's not the real boy people knew. He knows they are a stranger to him. But he's still an Izuku. A part of him that could never die. But he's not the whole him, he doesn't have the feelings of the memories. He's detached from himself and he nor anybody else can force him to remember. But his mind screams at him to pretend: if it's to survive. It repeats.
These boys who are supposed to love him and let him go are acting more like his father and its terrifying him. He shakes and trembles like he's back at that house.
"Don't you want to be here with us?" Shoto asks. "Aren't we enough for you to stay?"
"Please darling." It slips out. Izuku doesn't mean it to sound mimicking. He's not trying to be Izuku. For our survival! His mind scream. No no no.
"No." Katsuki cuts in. "If you're not him don't use his pet names for us."
"But-" Izuku sobs again. He can't win. Survive survive survive!
"You don't want to stay here with us?" Todoroki repeats.
"Stop it please..." Izuku begs out again. Say yes! Say yes!!
"Izuku you're making it sound like you don't want us... do you want us?" Todoroki say quietly, pouring way too much hurt into his tone. Say yes Izuku. Become Midoriya. Survive.
"I- I-" Izuku shakes. There are too many voices. To many conflicting things. He can't even tell where he is.
It's at that point he's pulled into another body. The sent of smoke and caramel.
"Kacchan?" Izuku whispers looking up with tears. "Oh deku, you never change. So easily overwhelmed. So easy to mould. We both love you so much yet you treat us like strangers, that's not very fair now is it?" Izuku hesitates but shakes his head. "No." He whispered. Good! Good! Survive! His mind urges. You want them. You want them.
"Of course I do," Izuku answers to himself and to the blond. "I want you and sho so much. He couldn't have lived without you. He'd do anything for you-" Izuku softly let's out. No not he- you.
This isn't right. His brain is melting. Confusing the ghost of Izuku with himself. Memories clashing and fighting. It's like he's at war with himself. Fighting for control. But the dead can't be brought back. This is just some estranged fight or flight response.
Maybe Katsuki can see that. Maybe Katsuki's just doesn't want to admit that.
"Then stay deku. You want to do something? Stay and live with us." Bakugou lulls. He strokes the side of Izukus face wiping away the tears. "Come now sweetheart." He says smiling. "Even with out you forest tones you're still so beautiful." Oh. This isn't right. I'm sorry Izuku. I wish I could be there. Never mind. He's not Midoriya. He's Izuku and by that he's a shigaraki wether he likes it or not.
"I can't.." Izuku says for the hundredth time.
"But why?" Bakugou asks gently. "It's a perfect paradise for you. Two heroes all to yourself, a comfortable life being ours. Anything you want we'll get you. You just have to be ours, it's a small ask. Sounds like a dream."
"I just can't- you have to understand-" Todoroki cuts Izuku off.
"No we don't have to understand love, What is keeping you from living with us? Staying with us!"
"I could stay with you, sure I could do that." Why not get their hopes up? Maybe then they'll see. "but I can't... I can't live with you." Izuku says trying a new tactic.
"What are you saying love?" Shoto asks. Almost there. He's so nearly almost there.
"I can't live with you because I can't live..." it's simply phrased. Time to back it up.
"Living people breath, living people eat, living people live!
I can't do that. I'm not living! I can't just pretend I am. I can't stay here. I may have a body I may be able to do things you can because of this body but I'm not alive.
For all I know I'm being kept alive by a quirk. Im closer to being a zombie. A freak of nature. I shouldn't be here. All I want is to rest.
I died a long time ago. You need to understand and accept it. I can't come back. I wish I could. I want to go back so badly. I want the people who knew me to be happy. I don't want to cause problems. I want to love you and be with you. I want to be Midoriya again, but I'm dead!" Izuku shouts pulling away from the two. He phases through their hold and stumbles back. He tries to take in deep breaths but his body won't let him. Great. Now look at him. Back at square one. At least he wasn't lying when he said he was dead. Maybe Izuku needs to accept it too. We both died in a way don't you think Izuku?
"Yeah," Izuku responds. "I'm dead. I can't come back to life. Once you're dead that's it. I can't just turn into the Izuku you knew. Trust me if I could I would. It would make this so much easier.
But I can't. I've been tested on. Experimented on. Repressed emotions, feelings, memories. Of course I'm not going to be the same person.
I've been killed and brought back. Do you know how many times my father cloned me then was unsatisfied so I was disposed of. Do you know what disposable means? It means I've been cloned forced alive then killed mere seconds later and forgotten about. This happened over and over. I've been cloned. I've been killed. I've been disconnected, I've been brain washed, I've been manipulated by my father who sent my brother to kidnap me while he was also being brain washed. He forced my sister to rewind my body by taking her blood while she slept. Only to bring back my physical appearance. I was a ghost for months! No one could see me. Only shota saw me. Only he knew and cared. My original body was sat in some glass vile that got random people's organs thrown in and fused with me only to bring me back to force his-" Izuku stops shaking his head.
"My mother moved away. When I woke up after my death I was isolated. Alone. In an appointment that was void of familiarity." Izuku sees the two move towards him. A spike of panic hits him. He backs up further.
"I want to stay." Izuku admits. "I want to save you the grief and pain of losing me over and over.
I don't want to leave my mom and shota. I don't want to loose you two either.
But I can't stay. I know deep down you agree with me. Let me protect you just this once." He asks. "I did always want to be a hero. Maybe this is my one chance to be that person I always wanted to be. And if that means I can save or help you then I know Midoriya will be happy too." Izuku smiles kindly. "Then." He says eyes closed. "Then I can leave."
"How can you leave?" Katsuki asks. Izuku can't tell if it's rhetorical or if he means it. Leave his body? The world? Or leave them?
"You can just keep going. You have a body." Shoto agrees.
"I can't sho, Kacchan, I'm so sorry I wanted to save you from this. I came here to say goodbye. To thank you. To apologise. Midoriya loved you with all his heart. You were his lovers his darlings. But I need to be a stranger to you."
The two look outraged. "How could you ask that?" Bakugou scowls. "We love each other. We hug and kiss and-" his eyes widen.
"And you never felt any of it." Bakubingo.
Izuku nods. Finally. The message has sunken in. "My memories start from when I die. My ghost was found in my old house. Shota found me. Then I was transferred into this body after many failed attempts." He explains.
"But Midoriya's memories start from birth. We are the same person on the outside. But in my brain I'm nothing like him. Do I even have a brain? In my mind then? I've seen you kiss me. I've heard you flirt but I haven't felt anything."
"So leaving would make you happy?" Shoto asks.
Izuku smiles. "I'm not supposed to be here."
"You want to leave, we're basically strangers to you, but how can you leave?" Shoto asks. "Physically how?"
Izuku frowns. "There isn't a nice way around it. I'd have to kill this body first. Then poof. But I have a plan." He says confidently.
"Deku you little shit you better not be doing what I think you are, you are not killing yourself." Katsuki croaks.
"No Kacchan I would never. I know it's selfish of me to ask you both to let me go but you have too. I don't know how my plan will end but I most likely won't be around to see it."
Todoroki steps forward. "Love... we can't force you to stay. I don't want you to suffer, but I really don't want to let you go either..." Shoto admits.
"Deku please we don't have to let go. There must be a way. A better way." Katsuki argued.
Izuku shakes his head white fluffy hair swaying with him. "I need to protect you. Unless the world went back in time to that day, there's nothing anyone can do. But it's okay I'll get to-" Izuku pauses. His head falls heavy and he almost trips.
"Deku?"
"Love?"
"Sorry I-" Izuku clutches his head. "I'm running low on time. I hate to cut this short but if I want to do this I have to go. Can you give this to my mom?" He says handing over a letter. "It's an apology. Tell her not to look at the news for a while."
Izuku clutches at his head again. Where a Lovely throbbing pain is blooming. That means his father is tracking him down. "I need to leave." He says sadly smiling. "Here's a gift from Izuku." He says leaning up to kiss both boys on the cheek. "We love you, get to a safe place." He says before turning away and leaving. He goes strait through the wall not even bothering with the door.
Is he feeling numb because he's dead?
"Shota I'm going to leave now, you should go back to the safe place. Comfort eri. Take Kacchan and sho with you. Oh and my mom I don't know where she is but take her too. And hizashi. Maybe your cats? Oh god, take anything you need. And don't look at the news unless you want to see my plan unfold." Izuku talks a mile a minute not even taking a breath.
"Kid." Aizawa cuts in. "I'm not leaving I told them to get your mom already. Someone is waiting to take my students too. Hizashi is one of them. My cats are fine. But I'm not leaving."
Izuku laughs relief. "Sticking it till the end?" Aizawa nods. "It's not going to be pretty." Izuku giggles . "When is it ever?" Aizawa counters.
A headache is the least of Izuku's problems when he makes it to a rundown part of town. He glances around. There's no one within five miles. Except the odd cat. It's a perfect place. He sighs before reaching out to his father. Not much longer. "Father? Can you hear me? I can't find you."
All for one replies instantly. "I'm coming my darling boy. Don't worry father will make it all better. Now stay where you are my lost treasure I'm coming."
Those words and the tone of his voice sent a chill down Izuku's spine. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be utterly afraid. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. This plan must be successful. For Eri, for shota for those two boy, for his brother for his mother... He can't fail them. Not again.
He knew what his father would do to make it all better. Knew what those words meant. Fathers body was old and he needed a new one Izuku was the perfect candidate from the start. It wouldn't surprise him if he was created just for this moment. A sad thought really but the reality he needed to accept. Love never worked out well for him. But he couldn't be sad. Bows not the time. Father can sense izukus emotions. He will always know how the boy is feeling. Sees straight through him.
He couldn't be fearful, he couldn't be terrified, he couldn't be scared, he couldn't be anything because his father would feel it. He needed to be Izuku, blank, quirkless Izuku. Izuku who had a trick up his sleeve.
It didn't take long for father to find him. He knew it wouldn't. He had hundreds of years to collect quirks. He had thousands. More than you could ever dream. He could do anything, yet something held him back. Izuku knew what it was. What he was.
But the time arrived, father stood tall, and with Aizawa hiding just out of range, the plan could finally begin.
"My son, my perfect little son. You've come back after being kidnapped. You've escaped and reached out. You've returned to me." Izuku stood as tall as he could even when his hight was a fraction of his fathers.
"Do you see now my child? This world is against you. You're too perfect for them. You're too pure. To trusting. They'd corrupt you. They're hurt you. You need me to protect you. You'll always need me." The man says white hair curled perfectly and gray eyes gleaming. "Or there is another option." He smiles. Izuku's never like that smile.
It's not a loving smile. Not a proud fatherly smile either. It was a victory smile. In fact Izuku would argue it's not even a smile at all.
But his father used it. It sent a chilling message.
His father had won. It had taken a decade or two of planning but he had won. Finally.
Izuku feigns confusion. Tilting his head and running up to his father. "Another way?" He questions, as if he didn't already know. "Is there really?"
His father laughs looking down on Izuku from his hight. "Why yes, do you want to protect yourself? Be able to march back in and take your sister back from their clutches?" Izuku gasps. "Save Eri? Me? I could save her?" He already is.
His father laughs ruffling Izukus curls. "How precious you are. My little green eyed creation. My doll! My treasure." The man crouches down scooping the boy into his arms. "Whoa-" Izuku shouts feeling his balance tip. He grabs onto his father tightly.
"You know when I first found out we were having you I cried out of joy. I hadn't intended it but I knew it must be fate. You were fate. You would grow up to be something better than I could ever have been. You just need a push." He lulls.
Izuku smiles pulling back and shaking is head. The form he had seems to crumble away revealing the white curls and gray eyes, his father had created this body with. White the colour of death. The colour of pain and suffering. The colour evil people hide behind to seem kind and pure. And his scars. Each one a place he was burnt and repaired. Torn apart and added to. Taken away and discarded.
Izukus father seems so pleased with the reveal placing his hand against Izukus cheek. "Tell me father." Izuku says as he's lowered down. "Please tell me how I can save her?" Izuku beams jumping up and down as soon as his feet hit the floor. His father laughs. "Calm down my child. It's simple. Do you love me?" He asks. Devilish grin on full display.
Izuku looks confused but nods. "Of course I do father. I'll always love you."
"I know. That's why you're so perfect." His father smiles gently closing the boys eyes. "What are you doing?" Izuku asks confused. "Just making a slight adjustment." Izuku feels his eyes. They crumble and reform. "And you know if I'm gone I'll always be with you no matter what. I shall never leave you as long as you live. This Izuku my dear doll, is a fact and promise."
One Izuku wishes he wouldn't make.
Izuku pouts still unable to see. "But who would protect me if father is not here? Why would you go? Where would you go?"
The Father laughs again. "Oh Izuku. My darling Izuku. I'll never leave you. I'll just appear in a different manifestation. I will protect you by letting you protect yourself. I will become perfect protection. We will be one. I will fill your quirkless body and together become the next perfect being." The mans hand leaves Izukus face.
The boy blinks open with new vision. The world looks so dead. All sad shades of gray. Is this how father sees the world? No wonder he doesn't see the beauty. No wonder green isn't a special colour.
Izuku looks up to his father and almost pukes. Where are his eyes? Why are there pits. What happened and why are his- no.
Reeling back his thoughts to be blank again. He looks concerned tho his father probably can't see. "Father what happened? Where are your eyes?"
All for one laughs. "I gifted them to you my child. Yours were failing." Izuku could cry right on spot but he doesn't. He sucks it up. "Thank you father. That was beyond generous." His father smiles. The dips of skin where his eyes should be seem so void. "Don't look so sad my child. I can still see. Just not through my eyes." Izuku lightens his face. "Oh. I'm so glad."
The man pauses for a minute. "Father?" Izuku questions. "Do you hear that Izuku?" The man speaks tilting his head past the boy. "No I can't hear anything why?" The man breaks into a wicked grin. "It's a helicopter, the news no doubt." Izuku pales. "Does that mean the heroes will find us?" Izuku really can't be interrupted. He can't afford for this not to happen. "It's okay Izuku. They can record us but they can't get close. We'll be on the front cover tomorrow. No one will hurt you while I'm here. But one day you'll have to do this on your own."
"What do you mean father? I would hate to be alone again." His father shakes his head smiling. "I'll never leave you." Izuku can hear the helicopter now it must be directly above them.
"But I want to give you a gift." He says standing tall and looming over Izuku.
"A gift?" Izuku asks. "Yes my child."
All for one reaches out his hand interlocking it with izukus. "Take a deep breath for me." He asks.
"Okay but father I'm scared." Izuku whispers. All for one smiles gently. "Don't be."
He places a kiss to Izuku forehead. "I'm right here." Then to his cheek and his other cheek, "no one will hurt you." his nose, his chin, both eyes his ears and finally, "Your father will always be with you Izuku. I won't ever let you go." His lips.
Izuku feels the air around them shift. The world darkens through his gray vision and Izuku feels his hand grow hot. It's the same hand his father is holding. Hotter and hotter and hotter.
"My hand is growing hot." Izuku says. All for one nods. "Focus on it. Feel it as it's spreads up your arm. To your shoulder. Feel it as it splits to your other arm then down your spine to your legs. Feel it slowly fill up every inch of your body before reaching your neck."
Izuku gasps out eyes wide in terror, feeling his body burn. Flash backs strike him of his own death. Being burnt alive is no nice thing. Izuku would know yet it's happening again and Izuku is back in that moment.
Will he die? Is his father going to kill him? This wasn't part of the plan. He doesn't want this. This isn't saving anyone.
"Father it hurts." He whimpers. "I know, hush now, shhhh, it's okay. Allow it to grow. Feel it creep up into your head. Behind your eyes, in your ears. Up your nose and in your mouth. Feel the heat grow and grow." Izuku wriggles and moans, clearly in pain and uncomfortable but the father just watches. A strange sense of power that he feels everyday but that's always especially strong with his son.
"It hurts. It burns you. Tears you up from the inside. Grows hotter and hotter until, it stops." Izuku whimpers at the pain struggling to stand up.
All for one smirks. "Looks like more of the news are here. How lovely we've attracted attention. Now Izuku do you think your hero friends will try to stop us?" All for one asks.
Izuku frowns through the pain, what did he just say? He sounded so far away. The pain is so loud and he can't think.
"Who?"
Izuku's father barks out a laugh. "Oh my son! My perfect son! You are better than I ever dreamed." He shouts out in the middle of the chaos.
All for one taps his foot and Izuku watches as a transparent barrier goes up protecting them. "Wow." Izuku gasps through cracked eyes. "It's so pretty." The forcefield shimmers like an Opal or Pearl. The news reporter stay at a distance filming through it. A few walk up tapping on it, testing how strong it is.
"This barrier can keep out anything for as long as I hold it up. Don't worry my darling. They might look scary but they can't get to us." His father assures. Izuku doesn't know how to take it, or what to reply, so he just nods weakly. Unable to fully process since the heat is taking over.
"I feel hot." Izuku whispers. "It's painful father why are you hurting me?" All for one looks down at his son who's only being held up only by the hand the villain is holding. "Oh dear," he coos gently laying Izuku down but still holding the limp hand. "Here now, that must feel better." He says. The cool ground does little. Izuku shuts his eyes tightly, the movement causing a flare up of the heat. "Why?" Izuku whispers out. "Can't you just protect me?" He asks pitifully.
"Why am I burning. Why am I so tired?" Izuku shifts in and out of the darkness that calls. "Is this what I wanted?" Izuku questions softly.
"Oh of course it is my darling, this is what I've always wanted." All for one says.
There's a commotion near the barrier that make Izuku look up painfully. "Who's?" He mutters looking around with his eyes.
His father scoffs head pointed forward. "Heroes." He says lowly.
"About a dozen of them. Nothing that can break through this barrier. I am far to strong for them all combined." He says sounding somewhat smug. Izuku hears that so chooses his words carefully. "You're so amazing father. Keeping me safe. Protecting me. Not leaving me." Izuku smiles. Nothing like stroking the ego of the number one villain. Especially when finding yourself to be in a near death situation. With that he lets his eyes close again. The darkness is ever growing, and the gray tones have becoming unbearably depressing. He never wants to see the world if it's only in grayscale.
If he could only have kept them open and tilted his head ever so slightly to the left, he would have seen a familiar face at the barrier.
A man, dark hair and red eyes glowing dangerously. There's a scarf around his neck that flairs around wildly. Matching his hair being caught in the helicopters force. He bangs on the barrier, over and over. Glaring harshly. Murderously. Not at Izuku's limp figure but at the man holding his limp arm. He's glaring at all for one.
"Oh my." The villain smirks. "Someone's here to see you Izuku." The father Lulls shaking the boy as if Izuku's nothing more than a doll.
Said boy whimpers under the man unable to open his eyes. It hurt. His head, his body, his arm that his father held so tight. He couldn't think. He couldn't speak. He just was there, under his father. Completely vulnerable and unable to fight back.
He thought he head Midoriya screaming and shouting for him to get up and fight. Yelling his name. Calling for him. Telling him he won't die, he just needs to fight. Block everything out. Zero in on the main problem and- "Shall I let him in little one?" The villain asks, Izuku knows it's not a yes or no question. His father and Japan's biggest villain does what he want regarding of what Izuku say.
It's sad. At one point Izuku thought anything he said the man would take in. He asks for water, his father complies. He can't sleep, father soothe him. He asks for no violence... he thought his father complied. But no Izuku was wrong like he was about so many things.
"Wouldn't you like to see him?" All for one coos stroking a pale scared cheek. "For me?" Izuku whispers. Eyes still closed barely taking In what all for one was saying.
The villain smiles at this. "Yes, my created doll for you."
Izuku smiles, he can't remember what's for him, but his father is clearly giving him something. "How nice."
Trying to fuel the fire, all for one waves a hand that makes the underground hero come tumbling to the floor, in through the barrier.
"You." Aizawa sneers sprinting up to Izuku. Not even phased by the villains lack of eyes. "Kid-umph!" A force silences the man.
"Ah ta ta ta." All for one says lifting his hand again using some quirk to hold the hero back. "I can't have you stopping the process. I only let you in as it was Izukus wish." Said boy whimpers in response to hearing his name.
Aizawa scoffs rolling his eyes. He struggles against one of the many quirks being used by this man. "As if," the hero shouts breaking free. "Just look at him!" He shouts. "Look at that boy and tell me he has any coherent thoughts. What have you done to him, you... you...you villain!" Aizawa screams. It's clear Aizawa lacks the skills to come up with insults. However he's not fussed about that now.
All for one belts out a laugh. "Ooo a villain, that's a new one." He jokes. "Anywho, It's nothing that I've done. I haven't done anything... yet." The villains white teeth gleam as he grins. "Give it time. Not much longer now." He says voice full of happiness and victory.
Aizawa sees red struggling to fight the bonds. "You monster! Izuku's done nothing to deserve any of your treatment you have not right to lay a hand on him!"
All for one sighs. Rising to his feet keeping a tight grip on Izuku's arm. The boy hangs limp looking like a battered well loved doll. Too well loved. Obsessed over.
"I'm his father." The man simply states. He looks down to Izuku. "This is my son." He says again shaking the boy around. "Stop it." Aizawa says sternly. The man pauses and laughs. "Oh? Why this is my son is it not?"
"That's not your son." Aizawa says quietly. He knows where he stands in Izuku's eyes. And he sure as hell will brag about it. So he speaks up louder, still quiet but loud enough. "I know who he wants."
All for one hears this and laughs again. Izuku winces at the noise. So limp and lifeless Aizawa's stomach twists. "Izuku my lovely little doll your guest here is being incredibly rude to me."
Izuku stays quiet not even moving. "Oh dear, must I do everything?" The villain questions. "Izuku." He says grabbing the boys jaw with his free hand. "Look at your guest." The man tightens his grip. Izuku hisses in pain but peals his eyes open.
The blobs clear around him and he squints at the grayscale world. "Sho-ta?" Izuku asks out voice broken. "Shota?" He repeats more clearly.
"Izuku my child." His father says pointing Izuku's head towards him. "This man marches in, demands I let you go and, says I'm not your father." Izuku smiles kindly. "Oh does he think he's my dad?" All for one smiles too. Izuku knows where he stands. "How about you ask him?"
Izuku's head is snaped towards Aizawa again. "Is it true shota?" The boy asks. "Do you believe yourself to be my dad?" Aizawa grins out wildly. Taking the villain back. "Of course I do problem child. Your 100% my kid. I found ya didn't I?" He exclaimed. Finally he can boast.
Izuku tries to grin but the villains hand means it come out smoshed "you did find me." Izuku agrees.
Izuku clearly doesn't know his place. At least that's what all for one concludes.
The world spins and Izuku finds himself flying. His eyes widen. It's a mess out there. Heroes, police and news crews have the barrier surrounded. The sky is over cast and he feels like death. But the slow motion spinning of the world relaxes him. It's a moment of quiet.
He feels like he's flying.
Then he hits the ground. Something hard digs into his side and he can hear everything again. "You insolent child. I made you!" All for one bellows. "Twice!" He adds. "I cloned you, I moulded you. I set you up to become me! I gave you all my-" The man grabs the air, he's made a mistake. One that could very well lead to the end of him.
"Give me them back, Izuku. I gave them to you, I can take them back." He says walking towards Izuku.
Izuku is reminded of the pain in his side. His plan. What he's going through this all to do. "You're an idiot." Izuku says feeling something trickle down his chin. "You gave me all of your quirks." He says looking down at his hands.
He climbs to his feet. "That means I can do this." Izuku stretches out a hand and grabs at his father. The man goes flying around, bouncing off the barrier. "Oops." Izuku laughs. "I'm kinda new to this sorry." Izuku gets him under control before letting out a breath.
"Man I feel like I'm dying." He laughs. "Let's make this quick." He uses his other hand and releases shota. The hero sprints towards Izuku and holds him up. "Hay kid you okay? Your not looking so good." Izuku smiles, Aizawa can see right through him. "I'm dying." He whispers. Then adds, "I'm sorry shota but I need you to step back."
"No way you'll collapse." The hero argues. "You need to step back please. Use your quirk on him." Izuku asks pointing at the villain. "He may still have all for one." Aizawa nods hesitantly, before letting go of the boy.
Izuku sways, tripping back and hitting the wall of the barrier. "Oof." Shaking his head Izuku looks up to Aizawa before turning to his father. "Take these back." Izuku says looking down. "I want you to see this."
When Izuku looks up his eyes are green again, all be it bleeding heavily. "Izuku!" Aizawa shouts concerned. "It's okay it doesn't really hurt!" Izuku laughs. All for one's eyes appear all be it gruesomely. Izuku grimace at the site. "Yikes." He says with a laugh.
"Now then. For my last trick I will make all this disappear!" Izuku does a weak try at jazz hands.
The villain scoffs "I'd like to see you try Izuku." All for one smirks. "Your only hope is to give them back." What kind of logic was that? Did Izuku drop this guy too hard?
"How about no?" The boy says. Patting his left side before pulling out a small gun. "Lookie what I have." He says swinging it around.
"Oh going to shoot your own father? You don't have the guts." All for one goads. "Hmm this?" Izuku says waving the weapon around. "Nah~ it's not for you." Then looks up again. "You're not my father, shota is."
Aizawa looks to the boy happy but heavily concerned again. "Izuku?" He questions asking so many questions with his tone. Izuku smiles. "You guessed it shota." Pushing off the barrier he tries to stand tall. "This? It's for me!" He shouts.
All for ones eyes widen. "I can take quirks from a dead man Izuku." He threatened.
Izuku grins. "If your quick enough sure. But this isn't an average bullet. Oh no no no." He sings.
"You see I've had this bullet for a long long time. You know how this plan of yours took practically your whole life? Well mine did too. At lease my whole life after the first time I was killed." Izuku says stepping forward.
"This is the last of the full life, permanent quirk erasing bullets." He smirks.
Izuku sees the villain falter. Man he's loving the power he has. "See I've been planning for a long time of how to get rid of you. I want Eri to have a safe future without father and his quirks in it."
His "father" starts to panic slightly. "Izuku calm down if you do this you'll die too. I'll still be alive but you'll be dead. Eri wouldn't want that. This hero wouldn't want that. Your mother-"
"Nope!" Izuku shouts. "Please don't try that on me. I've said my goodbyes. I've apologised too. But enough talking it's time to get this show rolling."
With that final decision Izuku raises the gun to his chest. "Three." He says slowly watching the villains eyes panic. "Two." He taps his foot and the barrier crashes down. Hero burst in, the news crew catching it all.
"One."
Open fire.
Izuku sees his fathers head drop down. As the police and heroes open all fire on him. He cringes at the sight. Glad that's not him. Well he's no better off but at least it was him who pulled the trigger. Aizawa's running towards him. Yelling something. Probably for him not to do it.
Izuku shakes his head smiling. He pulls the trigger. "I-" the boy seem in pain as he talks. "I'm sorry."
Shota was expecting a lot of things but an apology wasn't one of them. He sighs walking in and pouring a new cup of coffee. "Kid why are you in my kitchen at 4am?"
Thus a new era repeats.