I couldn't get to her; I didn't get to her on time.
I was too late.
This is why I wanted to be alone, this is exactly what I have been trying to avoid.
Carol's cries echoed through my ears, as I just stared into the woods; where Sophia ran to, where rick went after her.
What the hell is happening to me? what did I see? Is it the future?
To sum it up, a herd passed over the highway we were on. We hid under the cars, inside the car's blah blah. Carl and Sophia were under a car together, and once it got quiet, Sophia decided that it was safe for her to get out, but once she did, two walkers attacked her. Leading her to run into the woods on her own. But fortunately, Rick went after her.
I saw it all happen, right Infront of my eyes, I tried to get to her, to help her, to stop her from getting out of the car, or just to be by her side; I was so scared of what I had seen, a child walker, a child that I knew. I just wanted to keep her safe.
But everything went to hell the moment my head stopped hurting, the walkers had come, and I hadn't noticed them; I froze, I had no weapons on me, and I was completely oblivious to the fact that there was a huge herd coming our way. If not for Daryl shoving me inside one of the cars, I would've been dead. I tried to protest against him, I tried telling him that I needed to get to Sophia, but he just covered my mouth with his hand and held me in my place, preventing me from any movement.
Rick's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
He's back!
Is she okay? Is she with him?
I ran towards his voice, only to see that he had come back alone.
Disappointment and guilt filled me as I watched Carol crumble down in front of Rick.
I could've stopped her; I could've prevented this. stupid Daryl had to act like a hero and stop me.
***
Where the hell is she?
They went back for her, Rick, Shane, Daryl and Glenn, they all went back to where Rick had last seen her. While back at the highway, we were clearing the cars. Dale wanted us to do it, so he could turn the RV around. I think he just wanted to keep us busy.
I wasn't much help, I was still gathering some stuff. I had gotten my pack back, with all my weapons and belongings. The familiar weight of my sword on my hip, my knives, my handgun. It felt familiar, I felt like me again.
As I was looking through one of the cars, I heard some noises coming from beside me. I turned around to see Carl, hopping into the front seat of a car, he was struggling with something, and then he toppled back out of the car. I ran forward to catch him before he hit the ground, which caused me to fall as well. But thankfully he fell on top of me and didn't hit the ground. Although my back did hurt from the impact, I didn't care.
"You comfortable up there?" I groaned; he was looking at something in his hands. I sat up, having him in my lap.
You smart son of a-
"You are one brave kid, you know that?" I smiled down at him, seeing the bright big smile on his face, as he stared, fascinated at the arsenal in his hands.
He looked up at me with his bright blue eyes glowing so beautifully.
This kid deserves a normal life
at that moment, I knew that I needed to protect him, I didn't know what it was, but a strong feeling took over me, I guess it was care.
"I have to show Shane. This is awesome!"
"Well, let's go then," I said jumping up and lifting him with me, he was giggling until I put him down. He ran towards Shane and Lori excitedly showing them his finding, as I caught up with them, I noticed that Shane showed no interest, and Lori had gone into protective mom mode.
I heard Shane yelling at Carl, and Lori not letting Carl keep one of the weapons he found. The kid looked really devastated, I couldn't help but interfere.
"Hey Lori, I think it would be good if he knew how to handle a weapon, a small knife at least. You never know what could happen, and it could give you peace of mind to know that he can take care of himself if ever needed. Don't you think?" I asked her genuinely, hoping she would agree. She looked skeptical, looking down at Carl then back at me.
"Just keep it simple, please. He's already been through a lot; I don't want to take more of his childhood away." She said with a sigh, looking down almost ashamed.
"Lori, you aren't taking anything away. If anything, you are giving him life, by letting me teach him how to survive. You teach him how to live. That's what he needs now" I patted her on the shoulder, before turning around and heading towards carl.
I might disagree with Lori sometimes, but I couldn't imagine being in her place, and I guess I had some sort of respect for her. Keeping it together for her child, protecting him to the best of her abilities. I didn't think I would be able to do it if it were me. having a child to care for in a world that belonged to the dead sounded crazy to me. I could barely take care of myself.
I would not want to be in her place.
***
As the sun came down, our nerves rose up. With no sight of Rick or Daryl, a panicked carol and a broken-down RV. We weren't in the greatest shape to be out in the open.
I tried keeping the mod light, keeping conversation with some people, learning new things about them. Although I never gave much away about myself, they only knew my name and age. And I was glad they didn't ask for more.
***
They came back, without her.
They explained to us what had happened, and how they had encountered a walker and cut him open to make sure he hadn't come across Sophia.
Rick suggested an organized group search, which I thought was a good idea, although I had lost almost all hope of finding her. We still had to try.
As night came around, people were getting comfortable wherever they could. I was on watch on top of the RV when I felt a presence behind me. the footsteps were sharp yet quiet, quiet enough to not gain unwanted attention, but loud enough for me to know it was a live human. From the sound of the footsteps, I knew the person knew how to keep quiet; I could also tell that it was a man. I could tell who it was.
Daryl
"Did you have a nightmare, sunshine?" I teased not facing him. His presence came closer, and finally, he sat down beside me.
"You think we gon' find her?" he asked in a raspy whisper, almost as if he didn't want me to hear it.
"You want the real answer or the sugar-coated one?" I faced him, seeing him staring out into the woods, lost in thought, "I hope we find her; I really do. But being realistic, a twelve-year-old little girl, with no weapon and no clue about survival out in the woods at night. The odds aren't in our favour." I looked at him, seeing him already looking my way. I saw a flash of sadness in his expression as reality kicked in. his eyes travelled across my face, and finally he looked deep into my eyes. The weight of his breath lingered on my lips. I could feel the warmth of his body radiating off of him, his scent filling my senses. A look of confusion took over, he looked lost, as if he was having a battle with himself. I could feel the tension rising, fully aware of my body, and how close it was to his. There was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I wasn't sure what it was. Was I nervous? I didn't know what it was, but it was very unfamiliar. Not wanting to overthink it, I decided to change the topic, and snap us out of our thoughts.
"You know before all this," I whispered gaining his attention, making him look back into my eyes. I turned away, facing the highway as I continued talking,
"I loved watching sci-fi movies, any crazy shit I could find I would watch it. There was this one character that I was obsessed with, had his pictures and posters all over the place. What do you think it would be like if someone were to write a story about us?" I chuckled at the thought, "how would normal people react to our lives now? I think I'd be the favourite character. Imagine if we are just a movie, someone's imagination. Imagine we don't actually exist, and to the 'watchers' we're just fictional characters. How cool would that be? Imagine if all this isn't real. And were simply movie characters. Now wouldn't that be funny" I once again chuckled as I stopped talking, I looked at him to see a small smile on his face, something that didn't appear often. I took a moment to appreciate it, knowing it would be gone the next. But it wasn't. The small smile of comfort stayed plastered on his face, as he eventually looked away, looking at the endless road ahead of us. He looked relaxed, and content, something I thought I'd never see the Daryl Dixon.
The cool air of the night flew past us, soothing the silence as we both got consumed by our thoughts once again. Sitting in complete silence, a comforting one of some sort.
He stayed; he didn't leave. For the rest of the night. We would make small comments and almost conversations about irrelevant subjects. Maybe to keep the other talking, maybe because it was rare that we could just talk. But it didn't matter.
We both stayed.
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winter break has officially started, YAY. I'm trying to update more!