I've been crying every night because the bed is cold and foreign. I miss Alonzo's arms around my waist and his stubble good night kisses. I just want to be back home, even though it's not really a home, Alonzo makes it home enough. I miss my parents too. It's got to be close to a year, I guess that means my birthday is coming up. Nineteen. I'm so young.
I want to see my mom again, I want a hug from my dad. For Christ's sake I miss Buchanon and Lorenzo.
I feel so alone here. Once a day I'm needed for a meeting where they trash talk my husband and plan to kill him. I don't allow myself to cry in front of them, so I just stare into the distance and tune them out.
Remy encourages me to go out and socialize with the other members of the group. But they are much too talkative and I'm just not a social person. So I just go back to my cell and sit there with my legs crossed and twiddle my thumbs because that is all I can do. No TV, no phone, no books, no nothing. It's like how it was the first time at the Napolitani house but so much worse. Here I'm not so scared about my parents' life but Alonzo's.
I've never had a boyfriend before. Never even really had a close friend apart from this one girl in school. I wonder what she thinks of me now. I wonder what everything thinks I'm doing. Did my parents move and just say that? Or that I just went off to school early?
God, I just want my life to go back to normal. How hard is it?! Why the hell did it have to be my family? Why did it have to be me?!
"Reagan?" Remy opens my door and I immediately turn away so she doesn't see my tear stained cheeks. "You have ignored all your meals." She makes her way to the bed and takes a seat, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Dear, have you been crying?" She asks in a worried tone.
"No, Remy. I haven't been crying because I was taken from my home that took me from my real home and all I want to do is go back to my home home." I sob angrily.
Her eyes turn up with concern. "Oh honey, that is the whole point of this! We can get you home! And we'll make them pay for what they did to you."
"No! Remy, you don't get it! I've fallen in love with Alonzo. He may be the reason I was taken from my home, but he wasn't the one that did it. He is part of the family I'd like to go home to." I exclaim, holding my head in my hands.
Remy shakes her head disapprovingly. "Reagan, he has brainwashed you." She says, "Nico had so many mistresses, Alonzo did too. He didn't love you. The only reason you're in his bed is so people believe you're both in love." She looks down and chuckles. "I guess it worked because he even fooled you."
Ouch. That stung. I know she is lying. Alonzo loves me. He has to be searching for me right now.
"Why do you think he leaves all the time? Do you really believe work is all day and most of the night? No, he just wants to get away from you." She chuckles. "You really didn't know?"
"You're lying—" My voice breaks.
"Think about it, Reagan."
I stand from the bed on the opposite side of her. "I am and I have. You're lying. Alonzo loves me and you're just afraid because Nico didn't love or give a flying fuck about you." I am beyond pissed.
To my suprise, Remy stands from the bed. "I'll see you in the morning." She says calmly and walks out of my room and closes the door.
God. I'm so done. I have to get out of here. Tonight.
Hours and a power nap later, it's past midnight and I've heard no movement— although it's not like I can hear anything anyway. If anything there are a few people that'd go by but they just pass on with heavy footsteps. I look out my window to see they are about to change guard.
The first night I was here I tried to leave my room but it was just after the guard changed and they caught me quickly. I just played it off like I was looking for Remy. Since then I've been trying my best to map out the estate by taking constant wrong turns to my room. Isn't busy, it's like we are just in the middle of nowhere. I could find a car and drive out. Act like I've accepted this and was allowed to go to the store? I don't know what the hell I'm going to do but I fear that if I stay here any longer I'll just run out of my mind.
If I get caught... I don't really know, nor do I care.
I think I've lost and will I had.
Making my way through the estate to the garage, I pass no one. It's like it's empty. There is no noise, not even a smell. Usually it smells like a hospital here but I smell nothing. Gosh, it just feels so weird. I trug to the garage quickly and quietly and still, no one is in sight.
Opening the garage door was very noisy. But it didn't give me any fear of waking up someone. I really just don't care, and I don't know why.
Back at the mansion I was terrified to breathe too loudly. Maybe the lack of fear I have is just because Nico isn't here— or anywhere. He was the main source of anxiety and fear back then. Or maybe it's just the lack of food or dehydration that is messing with my brain.
I get into one of the cars, one that's small and plain. The keys are right in the cup holder and the engine starts when I turn the key. It hums quietly before I pull out of the garage. This is too easy. No guards even stopped me on the way off the property. Suddenly a cold sweat washed over my body. What if they get pissed that I left? Shit, maybe they'll shoot me in the car.
Maybe this was a trap. I snapped at Remy earlier and they wanted to see what I'd do. Shit this was a terrible idea.
The road is clear until I come to an intersection in the middle of nowhere and there are three other cars coming to a stop and suddenly one behind mine. Oh shit shit shit.
"Take a damn breath, Reagan." I talk to myself. "They are just people trying to get home after midnight. Right right. Now, I arrived at the intersection first. So I go first." My hands wrap around tightly against the steering wheel before pressing the excelerator. I get to the center of the interaction when the car on my right pulls forward far too quickly and rams into the passenger side of the car.
Before I can comprehend what's going on, the car in front of me rams into the front of my car at the same time the car on my left hits the driver's side. I scream out of shock, my head hits the air bag— which doesn't soften the blow at all. It feels like I hit a bag of bricks.
Somehow I'm still conscious— foggy, but awake.
Each car backs away and gets out. Those assholes all have big ass SUVs with those grates in the front. While the car I'm in looks like a ball of metal, their's look perfectly fine.
"Reagan..." Someone coos disappointedly. It's Matteo, he opens my door. The only thing holding me up right is my seat belt— which the bastard unplugs making me fall out onto the road.
"Screw you." I breath, beginning to feel the pain from the impact. Something is definitely wrong with my collar bone, my leg or hip too.
Matteo crutches down to my struggling level on the floor. "We wanted to see what you would do."
"No shit." I mumble sarcastically. Matteo pushes on my shoulders, making me fall onto my back. I grit my teeth in pain, mentally cussing him out as I try to breath.
He sighs dramatically. "Remy had faith in you, she owes me ten dollars." He chuckles. "She really cares about you, ya know." He tries to guilt trip me.
"If she did she wouldn't send her boy to try and kill me." I grimaced.
Matteo suddenly grips my hair so hard that I feel multiple strands rip out. I let out a strained scream. All my nerves are hyperactive, everything hurts a bit more. Like the cold air on my cheeks, it feels like it's freezing my blood. "I told her you were too loyal to Alonzo." He continues, "And I know he loves you too but I want nothing more than to see that dick head to die. Keeping you here and keeping Remy happy is a win-win for me and her, and such a lose-lose for the Napolitani's." He smiles sickly, looking down at me while stroking his hand down my cheek.
I flinch away. "So you're playing Alonzo and Remy."
For what seems like no reason at all, he picks my head up by my hair and slams my temple into the ground before nodding his head and pulls me up before throwing me in the back of the sprinter that was behind me. I wince as I collide with the base of the vehicle. Damn. I've never broken a bone my entire life, this hurts like a bitch.
Matteo shuts the doors with a hard slam before driving off. I'm frozen on the floor, unable to move because every moment sends a lightning bolt of pain throughout my entire body.
Since I only made it ten minutes down the road, that's how long it takes to get back. Surprisingly I'm put back into my old room, I thought they'd put me in a cell for betraying them. Although, technically I only left, I kept my mouth shut and didn't snitch so I technically didn't betray them.
It didn't take long until I passed out from the pain.
Thoughts?