The next day was really lonely. Remy didn't come over so it was just me and the dogs. I ended up sitting outside in the sun beds with a book in my hands and each of the dogs on my side. Even though it's chilly outside, the sun feels nice on my face. I got a lot of books. But I just don't want to read anymore.
"God, I am so bored."
I try to play on my phone, and watch television. That doesn't work.
"Marco?" I dial his number.
"Mrs. Napolitani?" He rushes out. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just really bored." I told him. "Is there like a pool here? Or something?" I complain.
He is silent for a while. "I don't know..."
"I am just really bored." I whine.
"Did you read a book?" He suggests.
"Two." I replied.
"Watch TV?"
"I've watched too much television the months I've been here." I respond.
"So what?" He deadpans.
"You're really no help. If I can't do anything, can I at least get some lunch?" I question.
"Yes, anything in particular?"
"Surprise me. Nothing with seafood." I state.
"Okay, it'll be half an hour." Marco explains.
"Okay, thank you." Then I end the call. I'm so incredibly bored. I call over the dogs and look down at them. "Do you guys have any toys?" I ask them as if I'm actually going to get an answer. Surprisingly, they trot out to the patteo and look back at me to follow them. "Coming." I chuckle making my way over.
They bring me to a bin that is filled with dog toys. They happily grab a rope that is tied together in one not in the middle. It's a three-way rope so they each grab a side of it and then there is one left and I assume I take it. I'm not prepared so when I take a hold of it, they immediately begin to yank and pull.
"Ah!" I yelp. "Start over! I wasn't ready!"
They giddily trot over and offer the rope again. I take it and hold on tight, feeling a burn in my biceps as soon as they begin to pull. In the end I lost, but it was fun and it tuckered us all out. I play fetch with them all around the estate, and just play with them in general. It makes me less bored for about an hour until I'm fine to go and watch some television. Buchanon, Lorenzo and I curl up on the couch with the TV on being bums for the rest of the day.
As depressing as it sounds, when dinner time came, I ordered in ice cream and some pizza. When I finish eating it, looking at the two-thirds of pizza left and empty pint, I feel guilty.
I've always been a "bigger" girl, insecurities always hit me hard. No one ever was mean to me, never picked on me or said anything. It was only me saying that. When I got into my last two years of school I decided to drop any and all issues with myself and focused on my studies. Since then I've been happy in my own skin. I'm proud I've moved past this.
But ever since the whole "you're being forced to marry a Mafia Don that has a asshole of a dad who is reviving the insecure eating disorder inside of me, but hey the Mafia Don is super nice and pretty hot", it's been harder to stay positive and confident.
I was hungry, I didn't have breakfast, just lunch. It's justified.
I have a Gala tomorrow. I'll be in front of so many people with a bloated tummy. Why would I eat so much?
Stop, Reagan.
The clock reads almost nine o'clock and my eyes begin to get droopy and heavy. I just try to hang out as long as I can, trying to catch Alonzo before he comes home. But when it's close to eleven, I just can't hold on anymore. The dogs and I get up and make our way to bed. I go to the bathroom to change and when I come back the dogs are trotting into the room and jump onto the bed. We happily snuggle down and I pass right out.
Some time later I am awoken by a harsh voice. "Fuori dal letto, fuori dal mio posto ora!" My eyes peel open to see Alonzo frustratedly pointing to the ground, telling the dogs to get down off the bed.
"What's wrong?" I sit up to see what he is doing. Even in the dark I see his suit is strained and there is blood on his white shirt. "Are you okay?!" I jump up onto my knees and reach for him to see if he is hurt.
"I'm fine." He grunts, storming into the bathroom. Seconds later I hear the shower going.
I get up from the bed and make my way to the door. "Alonzo, are you okay?" I ask him, pushing the door open. It's unlocked, he must not care if I come in.
I spot him striping his suit, dropping the bloody clothes on the ground. His abdomen is clean of any injuries. The blood isn't his.
There is a spray of blood across his face and matted into his hair. "W-what— A-lonzo." I stutter, backing away.
He sees me backing away and takes two large steps, cornering me against the wall. I can't even look at him, I'm scared.
"This is who I am. I kill people, I beat the shit out of people because it's my job." His voice almost breaks. "You're going to have to get used to it. The world isn't the bliss you were told."
Where is this all coming from? There is a crazy, horrifying look in his eyes. But behind them is fear. I fully look up into his eyes. "I know."
"Being with me is dangerous. It's disgusting. I kill people. So many people." His voice falters again. "I'm a disgusting monster."
I put my hands on his face, ignoring the blood that is now on my hands. "No you're not."
He rips my hands from his face. "Yes, I am." He snaps, stalking away.
I wince when he slams the bathroom door. It makes me want to cry. I look down at my hands with someone else's blood smudged around them. I almost break down on my slow walk to the other bathroom to wash off the terrifying evidence on me.
I scrub my hands until they are raw, not being able to look at them. After about five-ish minutes I dry them and walk into the bedroom. I wonder what could be wrong with Alonzo. It's nearing two in the morning and he is just getting home— with blood on him nonetheless.
At the wedding there was lots of blood and it was just a massacre. Even then I didn't really care, I was just in such a state of shock with the actual wedding then it had to be followed by a blood bath. But no one's blood has ever been on my hands before. It makes me sick to think about.
I wonder how Alonzo must feel. He looked so sad and hurt earlier. But then again he does this for a living.
When I come back into the bedroom he is pulling a shirt down his abdomen and then holds his head in his hands. When he notices me, he pulls back the covers and lays down. I come along the sides of the bed and lay down as well.
He has his back turned away from me. I pull up next to him and pull him so he can look at me but he doesn't budge. I try again and nothing. "Alonzo." I say sternly. He finally turns onto his back and looks up at me. His grey eyes are glassy. "Alonzo..."
I open my arms and he immediately hugs my torso tightly. He weeps into my neck, his whole body shuddering against me. It's awkward to reach over his waist so I just sit on top with my legs at either side. I let him cry until he has no more tears, not saying anything, just massaging his head with his wet hair through my fingers.
He pulls back and looks up at me. "I don't deserve you." His voice is so soft and the fact he thinks that makes my heart break for him.
"I love you." I blurt out without thinking.
His eyes widen and his body stiffens. Suddenly his desperate lips are on mine, devouring them like he has been starved. We change spots so I'm underneath him and I put my hands on his torso, savoring the kiss. It makes me feel so warm and the weight has been lifted off my chest. I didn't know that I loved him until I just said it. It's true, I love him.
I fist up his t-shirt and nervously pull it up. Alonzo pulls back and looks down at me. "Are you sure?"
I think for a moment before nodding my head.
"You have to say it." He presses eagerly.
"I'm sure, yes." I say breathlessly.
His lips come down onto mine for a bliss moment before he pulls back again. "I love you, Reagan."
My cheeks blush and I pull him back, retreating back into the bliss that is Alonzo, giving myself to him.
Thoughts?