I'm actually waking up early today. I couldn't sleep anymore. The more dreams I have about Beca, the more it hurt. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing Beca in my dreams, but I wish I could see her for real. I wish she was still alive and here with me right now, but I'm afraid that can never happen anymore.
Today is a new day. I'm planning to go to the authorities and show them my investigation but I don't want to go alone. Should I ask Kara to come with me? I mean, she found those seven islands. She was smart to look further than the obvious. I can't believe I didn't think about that.
I sigh and look at Beca's photo on my nightstand. What would she think about me if she was here? Would she be just as mad as Stacie is or be supportive like Liam and Emma? Would she love Ryan or despise him? The thought of Beca hating my son hurts me, but IF she's still alive, that can be one truth.
First things first. I need to show the authorities what Kara and I found out. I grab my phone and send Kara a message asking if she can meet me today. Luckily it doesn't take long for her to reply that she can be here in two hours. Smiling I get out of bed and walk downstairs, thinking about what I should do more today. Sharing the investigation with the authorities doesn't take all day and I have only today and tomorrow left of my week off. Maybe Ryan will like the camp tonight with Kara, Liam and Emma. I'm pretty sure Beca's parents don't want to be there because they've been avoiding me, just like Wyatt.
I grab a bowl and put some Cheerios in them for Ryan. For myself I put some yogurt in a bowl with some fresh fruit. You have to start the day a little healthy, right? I have eating bacon and eggs for a few days now, so I have to eat something a little more healthier.
I laugh when I think about the quick breakfasts that Beca ate. It wasn't really a breakfast, more smoothies. I don't say I didn't like her smoothies, I did, but smoothies or yogurt were the only breakfast she ate. Well, that's not entirely true. Beca did eat bacon and eggs but only on the weekends. Chips and other snacks she only ate on our movie nights and she was working out every Tuesdays and Thursdays. Not that I complained about the latter.
I put my bowl of yogurt on the counter top and walk back upstairs. It's time to wake up my baby boy. I slowly open the door and peak inside his tiny room. He's lying with one leg on top of his blanket and his other leg is under the blanket and he's hugging his pillow. I walk up to the side of his bed and squat down next to him.
,,Ryan, sweety?" I shake him awake slowly. ,,It's time to get up, sweety." A small groan leaves his mouth and it's very cute.
,,Mommy?" His eyes open and looks at me.
,,Good morning, sweety. It's a new day and you can decide what you want to do."
,,Really?" I nod and he sit upright now, while rubbing his eyes.
,,But first you need to have some breakfast. I made you some Cheerios." A smile appears on his face. ,,Come on, sweety. Let get dressed and then we're going to make plans." I hold out my hand and his tiny hand grabs hold of my hand. Together we walk to he closet where I pick out an outfit and dress him. ,,You look very handsome, sweety." I smile. ,,Aunt Kara is coming today, sweety." His face lights up.
,,Auntie Kara?! I like her!" He exclaims and jumps up and down. I laugh and calm him down.
,,I like her too, sweety but we need to eat breakfast before she arrives."
,,Okay, mommy." He walk out of his room and I follow him closely downstairs, making sure he doesn't fall off the stairs.
Hours later, after Kara and I are back from showing the investigation to the authorities and after Liam looked after Ryan for me, we walk back into my house.
,,Mommy is back!" Ryan calls out to Liam, who is sitting on the ground, a piece of LEGO in his hand. Ryan runs up to Kara and jumps into her arms.
,,Did you show the authorities your investigation?" Emma walks into the living room too now, with three glasses in her hand.
,,Yeah, I did."
,,And what did they say?"
,,They promised me to restart the research." Liam looks at me now.
,,Wait, does that mean that they still can find Beca?" I nod and now Kara, Liam and Emma squeal in excitement, startling Ryan a little. ,,I'm sorry, buddy." Liam say to Ryan, while Kara holds him. Emma and Liam walk over to me.
,,This is good news, right?" Emma asks me.
,,I think so. They aren't sure they will find her or a body, but they said that they would search the islands with an helicopter."
,,You don't sound happy." I look down for a moment and take a breath.
,,I'm not." I say honestly, what causes Liam and Emma to give me a surprised look. ,,I want them to find her obviously, but what if they find her body? She can be dead."
,,If she was dead, don't you think they would've found a body by now?"
,,I guess but -" Emma holds up her hand.
,,I get that it's scary," She says and put her hand on my shoulder. ,,the love of your life can be still alive. She could've survived the accident, you never know."
,,Yeah but a lot has happened in these two years, Emma! You have two children, I have a child and your parents despise me. Beca would be devastated to see me this way."
,,Oh come on! You two have survived worse things. Remember when Beca punched your ex? Remember the hate she got from his friends after that? Remember that Beca got chased by his friends for two whole weeks?"
,,Of course I do, but that's not the same."
,,Well, it kinda proves me right. Beca is always on your side, always. If Beca is still alive and returns, she will still be in love with you. I know my little sister."
,,But what if she will be furious?" Liam sighs.
,,Then she will be furious." I look at him. ,,Yeah, Beca might be very hurt to see that you have moved on, to see your son and yes, she can avoid you for a time but at the end she will always forgive you. She will always come back to you and spend the rest of her life with you."
,,You really think so?" Now both Emma and Liam nod.
,,Beca is crazy about you, Chloe. You have to keep that in mind. She won't let you fall." I smile as I wipe away one single tear. Emma and Liam pull me into their arms. ,,It will be alright." They whisper and that really comfort me. I wipe away some more tears before looking over to all four.
,,What do you guys say we go camping tonight?" I ask them and immediately I see Ryan's face lit up. ,,You would like that, sweety?"
,,Yes, please mommy. Camping?!" Kara laughs.
,,The last time we were camping was four years ago, remember?" Kara looks at Liam, Emma and me now. ,,It was your fathers idea, Chloe and Beca was so nervous." I smile as the memory plays in front of my eyes.
Flashback
Today Beca, her family and my family are camping. It's a big family camping trip with seven tents. This trip is my fathers idea because he wants to bond, he wants to get to know Beca and her family but all I want is to hold Beca's hand by the fire. We aren't girlfriends because Beca blew me off when I wanted to ask her and I still don't know why she did that but I will find out.
Nina is sitting on the left side of me, Beca on my right side, Emma sits between Beca and Liam, whose sitting beside Wyatt. Then our parents, Zoey, Noah and Kara. It's nice to see that Kara, Noah and Zoey get along so well. That makes it a lot easier to be close to my favorite brunette because Beca loves her little sister, Kara.
The campfire burns and everybody talks, telling each other jokes or sing songs. Beca's voice is the only voice I want to hear singing. Well, except for Kara because she has an amazing voice even tho she doesn't think so.
,,Kara?" Beca looks at her sister, while tilting her head from my shoulder. Her hand is still intertwine with mine, tho.
,,Yeah?"
,,Can you please sing a song?"
,,What?!" Kara startles a little.
,,Please, I'll sing with you." Now Wyatt stands up and holds out his hand to his sister. She rolls her eyes and then looks at Beca.
,,Fine, but only one song." She tells Beca and she bald a fist really quick. I laugh and watch Kara standing next to Wyatt. Nina grabs her phone and starts the music of the song 'All or Nothing'. Kara starts singing in the right moment and we all enjoy her voice.
I can't stay here, I am not the girl who runs and hides
Afraid of what could be
And I will go there, I need time, but know that things are always closer
Then they seem
Now I'll do more than dream, yeah!
Now Wyatt joins Kara in her singing and there voices sound really great together.
I'm gonna fly
Gonna crash right through the sky
Gonna touch the sun, show everyone
That's it all or nothing, all or nothing
This is my life, I'm not gonna live it twice
There's no in-between, take it too extreme
Cause it's all or nothing, all or nothing
Kara ends the song solo and Beca is very proud of her. We all clap while both Kara and Wyatt go back to their places.
,,Let's grab the marshmallows!" Zoey says and sprint to my parents tent, where the marshmallows are. Not long after that she already returns. We laugh as we each grab a stick. We put a marshmallow on the stick and hold it above the fire. I watch Wyatt burn one and hear Beca laugh.
,,Wyatt is a terrible camper." She says and he throws the burned marshmallow towards his sister.
,,You can't camp either, so shut up!" He says to Beca, who's just shrugging her shoulders. I lower my voice and whisper to Beca.
,,You're not a regular camper?" She shakes her head. ,,Then why did you agree to go with me?" Her eyes meet mine.
,,Isn't that obvious? I want to spend more time with you." She says and I feel my cheeks burn. ,,You're cute when you blush, Chlo." She gives me a small kiss on my cheek.
,,Okay, what else can we do?" Liam now say. ,,I'm bored."
,,We can play some games, if you are up for it?"
,,What kind of games, son?" My father asks Noah.
,,I don't know, it's too quiet here anyway. Maybe we can go swimming?"
,,Swimming? That's not a game and by the way, we're in the middle of nowhere!" Yells Zoey and holds up her phone. ,,I don't have any signal here!"
,,There is more in life than social media, Zoe!" Nina says and grabs Zoey's phone.
,,Zoey, put your phone back in your pocket. This is a family arrangement, so you don't need that thing." My father says and Zoey quickly grabs her phone back, while putting it back into her pocket.
,,Now, let's play games and eat some more marshmallows!" Emma grabs the bag and not long after that we're sitting closer to each other, roosting marshmallows again.
,,I hate marshmallows!" I says annoyed, grab my burned marshmallow from my stick and put it down on the ground. Beca laughs at me and put her hand on her thigh.
,,That's the first rule, Chlo. You have to eat the marshmallows, not burn them." She gives me a wink and I roll my eyes.
,,So Beca," My father asks suddenly. ,,you never told us about how you met Chloe."
,,I was at the first basketball game with Emma when I saw Chloe in her sexy cheerleader outfit. Those outfits are too short." I can see her cheek redden. I knew she was checking me out!
,,I totally agree with you, Beca." Noah say and gives her a high five. Now my parents are giving Noah a look. ,,What?!" He asks them. ,,Those skirts they're wearing are too short! If they jump you can literally see their underwear."
,,Noah!" My father yells now. Beca comes closer to me.
,,It's true, tho." I look at her with widen eyes and she gives me a wink. Wait, have she seen my panties? I mean, we jump a lot when we're cheer-leading for the teams...
,,Are you close to your siblings, Beca?" My mother asks now, changing the subject luckily.
,,Oh yeah, we're very close. All five of us. Emma might be four years older than me, but she's the best big sister I could ask for. Liam, Wyatt and Kara are always there for me when I feel sad or want to give up."
,,Give up? What do you want to give up?"
,,One time I wanted to give up on soccer, but all three of them convinced me to continue and they can be very persuasive." Now she laughs.
,,Well, you're a very good soccer player, Bec." Wyatt says now, while eating his marshmallow.
,,I never saw you play, Becs." I say and look at her.
,,Well, I'm sure you can see her play sometime." Liam says. ,,She will be all sweaty at the end and need to take a shower." And now he gives me a wink. My eyes widen. The thought of Beca's naked body... that's something I only dreamed about. I haven't seen it yet, but I want to. That's maybe an idea for later? Maybe later on I will share one shower with Beca...