and the final rendition to this book... the epilogue! i hope you enjoy <3 and it's long, as always smh but i'm not sorry for that 🤩
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ
Hyejin stretches herself atop of Wheein's particularly soft and comfortable bed. Well, Wheein's bed in Hyoyeon's home. She finds herself alone in the bedroom, as Wheein was out helping Hyoyeon with getting her final belongings of moving into the room fully. There weren't many things to get, but Wheein's constant insisting said otherwise. The room was kept to its minimal decoration, a few opened and closed boxes laid on the ground, and some displays of old photos on the dresser. That was about it, and Hyejin still loved everything about the room. Maybe because it was all just Wheein, and everything was about her.
She takes the clip that secured her hair off before resting her head against the pillow, a quiet sigh leaving her mouth as she can feel her eyelids becoming a bit heavy from the exhausting day of helping Wheein and Hyoyeon. The coolness of the sheets against her skin made her frequently shift, as she wore a cropped beige camisole top and a pair of grey sweatpants. The sheer comfortableness of the bed wasn't helping either; it was only adding to her tired state, and Hyejin knew herself that once she's knocked into sleep mode, it'd be hard to wake her up.
However, the sound of a door shutting close was able to partially knock her out of her dazed state. Hyejin manages to sit up in the bed, hearing a pair of quiet footsteps growing louder in the direction where she was in. A small smile spreads at her face as she knew exactly who it was.
And when the door swings open, Wheein staggers in, struggling a bit with a box in her hands to which Hyejin immediately responds with racing over to help her. The box was considerably medium-sized, but Hyejin wasn't exactly sure what would be inside. The two of them hold onto the box together𑁋it wasn't that heavy too𑁋before bending down to place it on the floor.
"What's inside the box?" Hyejin asks curiously, watching closely to see Wheein eagerly trying to pry it open.
Wheein glances up at her, biting her bottom lip nervously. "It's a surprise."
"A surprise you want to reveal now?"
"It's... it's for you." Wheein admits through slightly gritted teeth.
Hyejin lifts a brow. "For me?"
Wheein only nods, continuing to open the box. She pulls the flaps open as Hyejin places herself down on the floor next to the girl, leaning in to be able to see what was inside. Her eyes were able to pinpoint a bunch of Wheein's art supplies, but what caught her glance was what was below all of them.
As the smaller girl shoves the art supplies to one side of the box, Hyejin was now able to make out was inside.
It was all of Wheein's sketchbooks.
"Your sketchbooks?" Hyejin questions for confirmation.
"I-I made a promise to myself to show you them one day," Wheein shyly says. "because... because they're basically... me. Or this hidden version of me. Either way, just, yeah... I want𑁋I have to show you them."
Hyejin couldn't tell through the girl's expression if she was excited or anxious to show her. Or maybe even both.
"You don't have to if you don't want to, Wheein-ah."
"But I do. I do want to. I just... I haven't shown them to anyone before, or at least, shown every single page..." Wheein can feel her lips quiver to her own words.
Something about those words make Hyejin's chest tighten with worry.
Hyejin scoots herself closer to the girl on the somewhat cold floor. She pushes away some hair out of Wheein's face, before pressing a gentle kiss to her temple and allowing a thumb to trace her cheekbone.
"Okay," Hyejin says near her ears, almost like a whisper. "I'm ready when you are then."
Wheein manages to muster up a small smile to Hyejin's tone of reassurance. There was a certain warmth that filled her from just that alone. Along with that, she stands up, grabbing ahold of all her sketchbooks before heading to the bed; luckily it was just big enough to suit the two of them. Hyejin just follows right after and sits herself down just a bit behind Wheein so that her head was able to rest lightly atop the girl's shoulder.
Hyejin then looks over Wheein's shoulder to the order of which she was placing the sketchbooks in. There were only four of them, and from left to right, they all contained distinct patterns on their covers to indicate at which age Wheein had which. The one on the very left one was light green in colour and had a cute pattern of white cartoony butterflies plastered throughout. The following one was purple, with splotches of white, pink, red, and green on its surface, a scribble of a white flower bud in the middle, and another butterfly sat atop. The next one was orange in colour, yet light enough to appear almost pink, a darkened heart was in the middle, another white butterfly sat atop. And finally, the last one was white, and the middle sat an abnormally large scribble of a red butterfly. She wonders about the commonality between all the butterflies.
"We can, um, skip the first one," Wheein inputs in. "It's just very childish drawings, you know, what a fourth grader can do. They weren't very good."
Hyejin frowns slightly, murmuring to herself, but making it purposely loud enough for the girl to hear, "But I still want to see..."
Wheein considers for a moment, a hidden smile on her face. "You're going to tease me a lot, though."
Hyejin shifts herself closer to Wheein, merely pressing her body against Wheein's back, leaving basically no room between the two of them.
"Mmmh, that's the whole point, Angel," She smirks lightly. "I know you love it when I tease you."
She's not wrong. Wheein can feel the heat in her ears from the name, which then painfully crawls its way onto her face. She felt as if she wouldn't be able to escape from Hyejin's teases alive, and she knew that Hyejin absolutely found joy in making her flustered. Not that she was bothered by it though.
"It takes me a long time to fill these up," she points out, letting her hand caress the surface of the first sketchbook. She hadn't touched it in years, and she could see that her fingers accumulated some miniscule specks of dust. "Because... I-I don't know... I guess I was really picky on what to draw."
Wheein brings the first sketchbook in her lap and opens the first page. Right away, on the first page of the book, printed in Wheein's young, immaculate handwriting, stood the words in bright colours, 'WELCOME TO JUNG WHEEINIE'S SKETCHBOOK', coupled with many small drawings of smiley faces, rainbows, hearts, and stars printed all over the page. At the bottom of the page stood the words 'DO NOT OPEN! PRINCESSES ONLY'. Oh, how she was very possessive of her own art even at a young age. Wheein can feel herself internally cringe as she hears Hyejin chuckle right behind her.
She begins to flip through the pages slowly, and Hyejin could very much see a child's imagination in these drawings. They were mostly, if not all, just simply doodles and sketches in the most random colours one could possibly find. Some were of animals, flowers, and princess castles, all in drawn in cute, asymmetrical shapes. And yes, Hyejin did find herself teasing Wheein for some of them, but she doesn't go overboard.
It wasn't until Wheein stops at a particular drawing near the end of the sketchbook𑁋it wasn't that long, probably about fifty pages𑁋that it reveals a playful and simple stick person drawing of a girl with black hair wearing a pink dress sitting at an easel, holding a largely drawn palette that seemed to be drawn larger than the girl herself.
Wheein smiles faintly to the drawing. "This... is supposed to be my eomma. She used to have this easel in the middle of the living room where she would paint," She releases a sigh to the core memory. "I remember her telling me how proud she was when I drew this."
Hyejin only hums as a response as Wheein continues quietly flipping through the next last few pages. She then freezes entirely on the final drawing of the sketchbook.
It was the drawing of a stick figure family drawn next to a home. Right away, Hyejin knew which one was Wheein: the smallest stick figure. She could only assume who the other stick figures were.
Wheein doesn't say anything about it, but that was okay. Hyejin knew what she would be trying to say either way, and she wouldn't force anything out of her if she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't know much about Wheein's father, only that he ran away from the family with a bunch of money. As for Wheein's mother, Hyejin really only knew that she was gone.
Releasing a low sigh, Wheein finally closes the sketchbook. Seeing all the bright colours on each of the drawings very much made Hyejin intepret and imagine seeing a young Wheein happy while drawing. Each drawing seemed to have that sprinkle of happiness in each one as she could sense a young Wheein's excitement when having access to even the simplest of colours, or just a pencil.
"Were you happy drawing the ones in here?" she asks carefully.
Wheein nods without a second thought. "I-I was, for every single one."
Hyejin's eyes flicker over Wheein's face observantly. She notices the nervous quiver of her lips as if she was trying to hold back something.
Releasing a sigh, Hyejin pushes Wheein's hair with a finger to place a light kiss to the nape of her neck, muttering into her skin, "Do you still want to continue?"
Maybe Wheein's assumptions to Hyejin's love language being physical touch was true.
Wheein lets her eyes close to the feeling before glancing down at the sketchbook in her hands and places it back to where she grabbed it from. She reaches out to pick out the next one: the purple one, and lets a hand graze over its surprisingly smooth surface this time, before giving another nod, and turning to the first page.
The first page had been the same sort of introduction to the sketchbook like the previous ones. However, unlike the first sketchbook, it said, 'MY DRAWINGS' in a cleaner font. It still held those cute little doodles of flower petals, butterflies, and stars around the page, but they weren't printed in bright colours; instead, they were in more, she could say, neutral tones, yet they still stood out of the page.
"I think... I think I had this when I was 10 or 11..." Wheein says, letting a finger graze over the rough surface of the page. She held her a mouth open as if she wanted to continue, but she chooses not to.
She flips over the first couple of pages, which were very different than the ones in the first sketchbook from what Hyejin saw. She doesn't know exactly the right words to explain it𑁋it certainly didn't come from the hands of a second grader, that's for sure. It was quite satisfying to see how Wheein's art has evolved over a short period of time.
At this point is when Wheein began to focus more on the details she put into her drawings. There were more drawings of people, fully coloured in and everything. There were patterns in the clothing, sparkles in the eyes, and vivid expressions on their faces. Some pages were just simple doodles of line art and scribbling, some of them were unfinished sketches or black and white. Wheein could feel that shiver of nostalgia upon seeing her drawings.
Yet it wasn't until a certain point near the end sketchbook hits where Hyejin notices a mere unnoticeable shift. There was a drawing that stuck out to her𑁋one of them would be the face of a girl, eyes closed and expression down, while wearing a pair of earphones. The drawing wasn't coloured in, and there was the smallest indications of tears running down her face.
"Wheein-ah, is this..." Hyejin points down towards the drawing.
Wheein looks down at the drawing, a faint smile on her face.
"It-It's supposed to be me," she chuckles sadly. "Does it look like me?"
Hyejin only nods, eyes glancing between Wheein's face and the drawing closely. She could point out all the similarities. "It does."
As Wheein finishes showing the rest of the sketchbook, she immediately puts it away on the bed. Her eyes gaze over the third one, and she knew just what kind of drawings will be on there.
She leans back a bit, and she can feel Hyejin directly behind her, supporting her in many ways. Just sitting there in silence was one of them.
"My... my appa started getting a lot more angry then, I don't know why," she admits weakly, nervous laughter leaving her mouth before her expression fades away. "I-I would put on earphones and just... draw, because he'd be yelling at my eomma. It was... relaxing."
Hyejin can't seem to find the right words to say, so she just wraps her arms around Wheein's waist to pull her close as if she wasn't close enough before, positioning the girl between her legs. Wheein feels herself relaxing on Hyejin's warmth, face scrunching slightly in an attempt to hold back tears.
She knew she could cry; she knew it was okay to cry in front of Hyejin, but in some way, she didn't want to be seen this way. She didn't know if it was because she felt ashamed for it, or the fact she hasn't opened up in a long time. It was incredibly frustrating, yet relieving in a way.
"I'm sorry, love." is all Hyejin can really get herself to say, and she feels bad for not being able to say more.
It's hard understanding what grief really is, especially when someone you know is going through it.
"I don't know what's going on in your mind right now, but..." Hyejin continues. "...just know I care, okay?"
Wheein beams at Hyejin's honesty. She knew that Hyejin can't read her mind, nor can she read Hyejin's. Maybe we don't need someone to read our mind; maybe we need someone to be able to handle what's going on inside.
Finally, some tears begin to spill down her face. "Th-Thank you, Hyejin-ah."
Hyejin adjusts herself in a way so that she was able to see Wheein's face while managing to support the girl's back on her chest. She takes a finger to gently wipe away the tears that were falling down her face, their eyes making contact for a long moment, before Wheein glances away shyly to grab the third sketchbook.
"It took a few years for me to get this one because..." Wheein glides a finger over the cover. "...after my appa left with a lot of our money, I-I didn't want to ask for a new sketchbook or else I'd feel bad, but I finally got this one when I was around... 14?"
Wheein turns to the first page, which still continued to be the introduction. There weren't any colours this time𑁋it was all purely just black and white, or the greyness from a pencil. An array of black flowers were drawn at the corners of the paper, lines that resembled vines hung down to opposite sides, and even if they weren't any colours, Hyejin could definitely see Wheein's evolvement in drawing. Her eyes linger on the page for some time, unsure if her look held a mixture of shock, anticipation, or amazement from Wheein's art.
"I... I don't really like the ones in here that much," Wheein bites at her bottom lip. "It was hard to find inspiration. There are a few that I'm... a little proud of though."
She begins to go through each page slowly, taking the time for Hyejin to see in full glory. Each sketch was drawn in just pencil and purely black and white this time, and there were more opportunities, from what Wheein could see, for more details on her drawings. If she drew a face, she'd add in little details like beauty marks and freckles, or add the tiniest sparkle in the eye, and she'd shade at certain areas to sharpen features. Or if she drew something like a flower, she'd focus on the small details of the petals.
Some of the drawings were more realistic, merely just as something out of a photograph, and some pages were purely just used for practice sketches. And all of them displayed whatever emotion Wheein was feeling at the time𑁋either from a realistic or metaphorical approach.
"Angel, these are beautiful," Hyejin lets out, unable to recall any moment where she's taken her eyes off the drawings. "You're so talented, you know that?"
Wheein feels the corners of her lips curve to the simple compliment. She goes through a couple more pages before landing on a drawing that she liked. It was a small drawing, simple even: it was the drawing of a girl, a flower hanging from her mouth. It's one of her favourites and she doesn't exactly know why, nor has she ever found an exact reason ever since. There was something in the drawing that made her drawn to it.
She flips through the rest of the pages before landing at the very end of the sketchbook, releasing an audible breath. As she closes the sketchbook and puts it back in its place, she sneaks a glance at Hyejin behind her.
"Is there a reason that you..." Hyejin starts, meeting eyes with Wheein. "...didn't add any colours to your drawings in here?"
Wheein faces away from Hyejin to look at her sketchbooks.
"I... I didn't think there was any point to colour them," she murmurs quietly. "I didn't feel any colours. I felt..." Empty at the time, she completes the sentence in her head. "I just couldn't colour them."
Hyejin gives an understanding look as she observes Wheein grabbing the final sketchbook on the bed: the white one with the large red butterfly on the cover. Wheein could feel a shiver of nervousness the moment she grabbed this one, a bit of unsure of why, maybe perhaps she was anxious at what Hyejin would think of these drawings.
"Hyoyeon-unnie gave me this sketchbook for my birthday last year," Wheein smiles warmly to the memory. "She asked me what I wanted, but she pulled this out a minute later."
She flips to the first page, and as Hyejin expected another hand-drawn cover, this time, the page was empty.
"It's empty?" Hyejin asks curiously.
Wheein shakes her head. "I-I always do this page last. I try to fill every page after so I'll know what to put here."
A smirk appears on Hyejin's face. "How clever of you."
Wheein doesn't try to fight her flushed cheeks as she turns the first page. Immediately, her smile nearly fades away from remembering how she tore up the first couple of pages out of frustration, but Hyejin doesn't even seem to notice it. Or she does, and she doesn't want to question it.
Hyejin's eyes land upon a beautiful drawing of a rose that appeared completely shaded and detailed down to the finest thorn, despite a third of the page having been ripped away. It still didn't change anything about the drawing though.
The next drawing was that of two butterflies, one a bit larger than the other. The page seemed to also have been ripped away as well yet put back together. Their wings were coloured in with a mixture of orange, purple, and green. Hyejin feels herself smiling a bit, hopefully meaning that this time, Wheein felt some colours.
As Wheein continues flipping through the pages, Hyejin could see that some of them were coloured, while some were not. There would be times where a couple of pages after the other would be coloured, while a couple of pages after the other would be black and white. It was almost a never-ending pattern.
It wasn't until after turning a couple of pages is where Wheein is met with the drawing of a tree. Specifically, the cherry blossom tree at school. She swallows something in her throat as she could sense Hyejin watching right behind her. She flips another page𑁋another drawing of the same tree. And another page𑁋the same tree.
And finally, another page𑁋the same tree, but at the same time, it was different.
"You must really like to draw trees," Hyejin says from behind her. However, when her eyes shift down a little, she notices a very visible detail that stuck out on the page. "What's this right here?"
"I..." Wheein looks down towards where Hyejin was pointing. "...it's you."
Hyejin raises a curious eyebrow. "Me?"
"On the first day you came to school," Wheein begins. "you... you sat under the other cherry blossom tree. I was there, too, at the opposite one, and I saw you and... I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean𑁋"
"Wheein-ah, it's okay," Hyejin assures. "I just... didn't know anyone else would be there, let alone for it to be you," She looks at Wheein thoughtfully, expression softening, "Is that why you didn't want to show me your drawings?"
Wheein gives her a nod as if she was guilty, though she had no reason to be. "I didn't want you to think I was, um... a creep. I just..." She gazes up at Hyejin, immediately struck by the girl's eyes on her; it made her heart race. "...found you really pretty, and... it inspired me. You inspire me."
Hyejin blinks a couple of times, as if her brain had short-circuited to Wheein's words. She could only stare at Wheein, who was staring with the same intensity back. The smaller girl held wistful eyes in her direction, and for a moment, Hyejin felt overwhelmed by the girl's look.
A hand of hers drifts to cup Wheein's warm cheek carefully, as if trying to make sure what she was seeing wasn't just a product of her imagination, before leaning in to meet her lips. All of those feelings each time they shared a kiss came back all at once𑁋the gentleness, the desperation, the longing for one another.
They both pull back for a moment to share a brief chuckle and heartfelt smiles before kissing once again. It was enough for their thoughts to be nearly silenced as the only thought that ran through their minds were each other.
And at some moment, where Hyejin finds herself merely losing her breath, she lets out a clear, "God, I love you so much, Jung Wheein."
Wheein could feel her own limbs become numb as she pulls away. She takes in Hyejin's sight below her in utter contemplation.
"I love you too, Ahn Hyejin." And there was no stutter in her voice, no hesitation, just trueness.
Though it wasn't the first time it was said, it felt different each time it would be exchanged. Wheein allows herself to settle down right next to Hyejin, and the two of them lay there, facing each other. Hyejin props herself with an elbow as she lets a hand drift to the girl's face, a finger tracing down her cheek, down her neck, before finally planting at her side, against the cloth of her oversized shirt.
"There's, um, two more drawings I want to show you." Wheein sits up, eagerly reaching out towards the sketchbook on the bed. She flips over a couple of pages before landing on a page, shifting herself a bit on the bed so that Hyejin would be able to see.
Hyejin looks down to see the drawing of another girl. This time, there wasn't any realism to the picture, but it looked to have been created solely from just black lines. The girl had long hair, eyes shut, and there was a certain beauty mark on her face that gave a shiver of familiarity to Hyejin. It was her beauty mark.
"Even though it's a simple drawing, it took me a while to finish because of everything going on," Wheein points out. "and I... wanted to make sure it looked like you, even if it's just a bunch of lines."
"You are just the sweetest angel." Hyejin compliments, a hand drifting over the page.
"And then..." Wheein flips a couple of pages before landing on another drawing. This time, it wasn't a person, or another practice sketch, it was a background.
The first thing that Hyejin was able to spot would be the Hangang Bridge. The whole drawing was in pure pencil; there were faint strokes and more darker ones, shading and subtle details that encapsulated the entirety of the vibes. There were dark details in the sky that resembled the clouds, and trees drawn on both sides of the page. It was beautiful, and Wheein could possibly say it's one of her best works so far.
Hyejin's eyes then drift towards the bottom of the page, where she could see the noticeable detail of two girls sitting together. She could only imagine who they were supposed to be, and she could only smile to the thought.
"This... this is amazing, Wheein-ah. I..." She finds her own words struggling to come out. "I don't know how else to describe it. There's too many I could possibly say."
Wheein softly smiles as she slowly closes the sketchbook and puts it to the side with the other ones. She lays back down with Hyejin on the bed, who only looks back down at her.
"Thank you for showing me your drawings, Angel," Hyejin eases herself back down so that her head laid on the pillow. Both of them lay so close to each other, their noses nearly touching. "and for sharing your story with me."
Wheein keeps her gaze locked on Hyejin. She scoots herself closer, and she feels a pair of arms wrap around her. Hyejin adjusts herself a bit so that Wheein's head was right under her chin, and she feels the smaller girl relax in her arms comfortably.
"It's been a long day," Hyejin says soothingly. "is there anything you still want to do?"
Wheein doesn't respond for a minute or two, before muttering somewhat inaudibly, "Just this... for a while."
Only a quiet laugh leaves Hyejin's mouth as she moves herself down in the bed to be eye level with Wheein, yet still keeping her arms around her.
"And what is that?" Hyejin teases.
Wheein's eyes flicker frantically back and forth between Hyejin's eyes and lips, as if she's unable to focus on one thing. But Hyejin seemed to get the memo immediately.
"Don't worry, I think I know exactly what you're trying to say," Hyejin smirks, the tone of her voice deep and low. "Come here, beautiful."
And they kiss, as smiles makes its way on their faces as their lips brushed against each other's and their bodies sealed whatever kind of space was between them. The action was enough to soothe away worries, to complete this emptiness in their hearts, and to fill their minds up with only moments that were awaiting them as the days came towards them.
They completed each other; there's not much to be said about that.
Because they're just two people.
And one kind of love.
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ
congratulations! you've reached the end of this book. have some cookies 🍪 a hug 🫂🤗 and money to buy your endless supply of mamamoo albums 💰💸
no but seriously, thank you for reading, sticking with me, and for being patient! i hoped you all enjoyed it <3 and i hope to know your thoughts abt it !
i hope you all continue to support any future fics i may create :)) because i do have some i'm thinking of starting, and it's not limited to any specific ship in mamamoo, i hope to do all! (there's a hwasun and/or wheesun i want to do heheh and more if any comes to mind)
once again, thank you! i love you all sm
signing off, rania !