Don't give 'em too much you
Don't let 'em take control
This one thing you do
Don't let 'em taint your soul
January 28th- j.cole
☦︎ ☦︎ ☦︎
We're stopped at a random house in a random neighborhood. Well, I knew this wasn't random to Trell, and this had some significance to him but I had no clue why we were here.
When he said a surprise, I was thinking more of him showing me something. Not us getting in his car and parking in front of a random house.
He's given me no prior knowledge besides the words 'its a surprise for a reason', and I just want to know why we're here.
I turn to look over to him, seeing he's still on his phone like he has been for the past ten minutes. "Trell, we're stopped at a random house what's the surprise?" I finally break the silence.
He clicks his phone off, turning his head to look at me. "It'll be here soon enough." He says before resting one of his hands on the steering wheel.
"What is it?"
He looks at me with a 'really' expression, "A surprise Lil' mama, the whole point of it is for you not to know until you see it." He explains as if I didn't understand the concept.
I roll my eyes, raising my legs up onto the seat before turning my body around. My body now faced him, my knees pulled up with my back pushed up ok the door. "We're at a random house in Florida when you're supposed to be in Atlanta. Do you want to explain?" I ask in a concerned tone, pointing out the fact that we are in front of someone's house.
"God you spent too much time around my mom, your starting to sound like her." He mumbles, and he wasn't wrong I even heard a little bit of his mom in my voice.
I cross my arms, "Explain kentrell." I say seriously.
His mouth drops, "The government name and everything?" He asks. But I just continue sending him a glare, within a few seconds of me being silent and looking at him he sighs. "Fine." He mumbles.
"Alright I'm still staying in Atlanta," he starts before adjusting himself in his seat. Now one thing with Trell is, he'll never have his back turned to anything, he's always on high alert even when he doesn't need to be so when he sat just like me with his back facing the window and his full attention on me. "So basically I'll see you when you get there. But I got some news and I had to come over here, and I called iann and asked what hotel you guys stayed at and boom now we're here."
He answered the question, but of course he didn't answer what he was here for exactly. But now that I knew he had news and that's why he was here, I still wanted to know what the surprise was. "So what's the surprise?" I ask.
"You'll see soon enough, now let's get off that topic and get onto the topic of the whole band thing." He changes to the subject I wanted to talk about, yet dreaded actually talking about.
I knew I could trust Trell, so I wasn't hesitant because I was afraid he was going to say anything. I was hesitant because well, I really didn't want to know what this was.
I didn't want him to name the possibilities I already thought of, I was stuck. Stuck in between being nosy and figuring things out that have nothing to do with me, and stuck between wanting to mind my business. None of it was any of my business, but I didn't want to walk into something and not know what I was dealing with.
And I don't even feel as if I'm reacting like a normal person was because I simply stayed put. As soon as I seen that, any normal person probably would've left right then and there.
I didn't.
I stayed there and focused on getting information on them. Which if they found out about probably could end in many bad ways, but I'd just be stupid if I didn't want help or wanted to know.
"So I found something." I start, not entirely sure if I wanted to give him the straight answer. I knew trell and if he knew about the drugs he would tell me I wasn't going back to the hotel, he simply wouldn't care the outcome of that as long as I was safe.
He already looked alarmed by the way I started the sentence, narrowing his eyebrows with parted lips showing a glimpse of his teeth as he slowly nods his head. "You found something?" He repeats, wanting more detail to my lacking answer.
"A bag," I start still not giving any actual details to give it away. "And that bag had something in it, that didn't Correlate with the band whatsoever."
"Lil' mama, if you don't stop using code words for what you found and just tell me. What is it illegal?" He asks jokingly, rising a smile on his face but when he seen my face turn even the slightest bit worried he dropped his smile.
"It's something illegal," He says, he already knew the answer with the way I reacted. And he reacted the way I expected him to, automatically holding a sharper expression on his face.
"It is."
He quickly adjusted in his seat again, dropping the one leg he had raised onto the seat back down to the floor than sitting right.
He looks down at his lap, I knew he wasn't pissed at me but more of the situation it is. He cares, that's what it's been. He folds his hands in his lap, staring down with an intense stare knowing he's thinking.
His whole body language changed, he was now very tense. I don't speak, I didn't want to interrupt his thoughts.
Within a few seconds, he takes a deep breath, slowly lifting his head back up to look at me. Trell can get his composure back quickly, it takes a lot for him to get mad. It takes a lot to get him to any point besides the cool and collected guy he is.
"How illegal?" He asks, probably expecting the worse.
What I found wasn't that bad compared to other things, so I know once he hears my answer it'd give him a lot more peace of mind.
"Drugs illegal, not too bad."
He lets out a sigh of relief, "oh thank god I thought it was worse."
A small smile quirks up on my lips, "you're right it's not too bad is it?"
He starts laughing and shaking his head, "fuck no it still is. I don't want you staying with them anymore." He says in amusement.
The thing with Trell was, he'd never tell you that you weren't doing something. He'd tell you he didn't want you to because if you want to do something you're going to do it regardless of how anyone feels.
I sigh, wrapping my arms around my legs to hug them to my chest hoping it'll be a more comfortable position than to just have my arms dangle.
"Trell, you know I can't just up and leave. And I hear you, but I don't know what's going on and I want to." I say, watching him as he brings his thumb to his lip to stop himself from talking with his other fingers curled into his hand.
"Even that's exactly it, you don't know. If you found drugs, there's nothing good that's going to come from that." He says in a lower tone, I knew he was far past concerned but there was really nothing I could do.
I couldn't just leave, that would be unfair to Iann because he stuck his back out for me. But I couldn't ignore the fact of what this could be, and that Iann can possibly be a part of it. None of it was going to be fair for anyone, and if I just left after Harry already accused me of going through the bag it'll just make me look more suspicious.
"But maybe there could be, you never know." I say, cracking a small smile again trying to lighten the mood.
He looks at me for a second, scanning me as if he was trying to find anything he possibly could to point out and have me leave. He huffs a breath through his nose, "Lil' mama I don't like this. And I don't like the sound of it, or the possibilities this could turn into. This is something that could turn out so bad and before you say anything," he stops talking when he sees his phone screen light up.
He turned it away too quickly for me to see who it was, but he scans his phone for a few seconds I'm guessing to read whatever it was.
He was hiding something, but when you put the fact that he had a surprise for me in mind it made sense. Within a few seconds, he clicked his phone off and looked back over to me.
"Before you say anything about what went down before you left, I was there and I knew what could happen. And I knew I would be able to protect you if anything went south, with this I can't. And I know you can protect yourself, but I never want you to have to do that. You protect yourself should be worse coming to worse, not—" I cut him off, he was speaking passionately but I knew the more he spoke about it the more concerned he was going to feel about it.
"Trell I know that's worse coming to worse, but this is something you're going to have to trust me on. I don't want to make myself look guilty by leaving a day after I seen it."
He shakes his head slowly, not because he was telling me no but more of a head shake of disbelief.
But he knew I was right and that I couldn't just leave, because if anything that would make it worse. I don't know what they could be a part of, and he doesn't either.
And I know he knows the possibilities of it all, but that doesn't mean he's going to tell me. And there really wasn't much to go off of anyways, so me just saying drugs doesn't narrow it down much.
And I was never nosy this was more so, me being stupid yet just wanting to be safe as well. I just wanted to connect it all somehow and figure out what I just opened walked into. If I found it was too much to understand, I would leave. But the tour just started, and I just want the money to be perfectly honest.
And when I say that I'm not saying that's all I want, but I wouldn't have continued on with the tour, especially with how the first day I met harry went if I wasn't getting paid or iann had no involvement in this.
Some things you just have to wait out, and going against probably anyone's better judgment this is something I'm going to have to wait out.
He finally begins nodding his head, his face now wasn't sharp and was as calm as it could be after hearing this. "Alright let's make a game plan." He says, pushing away the thought of me just leaving fairly quickly.
"A game plan?" I repeat, fairly surprised he gave up on not wanting me to stay so fast.
"Yes, a game plan. There's no way you're just going to tell me this and we're not going to talk about it further in." He says, placing his phone down in one of the empty cup holders that were connected to the center console.
"You know I love you right?" I say, a toothy grin showing shortly after as if I just got away with someone I've been wanting to get away with.
He rolls his eyes, "yeah, yeah, yeah I love you too. Now let's make a plan, and all those shitheads better hope it works because if anything happens to you I will rain hell." He says in more of a happy tone, trying to hide the small smile that wanted to show on his face.
My mouth drops but the inner corners of my lips are still quirked up into a smile. He somehow was able to get something out of this, and I wasn't judging.
Sly fucker.
Once he seen me smiling, he couldn't help the smile that became plastered on his face. He tried to make his face go straight again, but it didn't work and he still looked like he was smiling. "Now did you leave any evidence at all that you touched it? Seen it, whatever explain the situation you found it in."
"Me and Harry both have basic black duffle bags, I was with Iann for a bit as soon as we got to the hotel so I never got the chance to really look at the bag. Once I got back to my room I wanted to change, but I noticed the bag was missing something so I knew it wasn't mine. Long story short I looked at it, found coke Harry busted in within like five minutes and I just know somehow he knows that I know." I explain what I could fully remember, I knew there were some bits and pieces I left out but it's fine.
His face lit up, and I already knew with the way that he was looking at me he already had a plan in mind. He points at me, keeping the genus-struck grin. "Nope that's why you're going to put him through a mind fuck. Continue to deny deny deny, he has no evidence behind a gut instinct. And he probably already got over the feeling because you haven't left yet, anyone else would've."
He was right, and he was thinking this through faster than I was. But I couldn't help sighing, I felt like I was using them all in a way by staying after I seen what I seen.
"Yeah, but I just know he's going to make my life hell. And I feel stupid because he's been acting weird, even with it being a day he's trying to be around me more and I just don't know." I mumble, tapping my fingers on my right raised knee with my right hand.
Trell nods, but when I thought he was going to speak he didn't. He gripped ahold of one of his puffer jacket sleeves and pulled his arm out, then repeated the action with his other arm. He took the jacket off his body and discarded it into the back seat of the car, leaving him in his classic white tee.
"If you think he's acting weird then he's acting weird Lil' mama," he starts, looking forward at the car that was passing by in front of us. "He could be suspicious of you knowing but that's all he has. He can't just up and tell you what you seen because then if you really didn't know he just fucked up." He continues, still keeping his full attention on the car until it passed by us.
He then turned to look at me again, "No proof makes it all a maybe, remember that." He says tapping on the side of his head as a think about it motion. "You know your smart, don't ever try and dumb down. Keep them on their toes, and play the cards your dealt. Play that stupid card until they tell you the truth or you find it out yourself."
"Your right-" just as I start my sentence he cuts me off.
"I know I'm right." He says, a cocky smirk quirking up on his lips.
I roll my eyes, shaking my head with the smallest smirk. "Ok well if you'd let me finish I would tell you what you were right about."
He chuckles, "Proceed, I would love to hear how big of a genius I am." He says keeping the same cocky tone.
He kept a closed-lip smile on his face, raising his shoulders up and closing his eyes using this as another cocky way to express he was right. He did this every time he knew he was right.
"Your a cocky fucker is what you are," I start, he immediately drops the smile just to flip me off. I raise my hand a bit from holding on tightly to the opposite hand, flipping him off as well with my free hand staying wrapped around my legs.
"But as I was saying, your right about him having no proof but me finding information through them would involve me getting close to them and I would feel like shit because that's me basically using them." I say, unsure really how to get around it.
Even if they're dick heads I won't use them for anything. Nobody wants to be used, and I'd come clean about it as soon as I got caught or they tell me something just to avoid it looking like I was staying just to get info about it.
They have to catch me first though.
Trell just looked at me like he was judging me, pressing his lips into a line as he scanned me to see if I was lying.
"Yeah well the lead singer is a little shit head, so by all means if it happens to be him I'd make a toast to breaking down an egomaniac." He mumbles, crossing his arms and turning his head away then whistling to play it off as if he didn't say it.
"Shithead or not I wouldn't use him, if we ever got close it wouldn't be because I wanted to use him for information-" my genuine statement gets cut off by myself when I realize that harry really is a shit head.
My whole expression changes from soft to annoyed, I cross my arms along my stomach looking like an upset child who was ready to throw a fit. "Wait did I tell you what that shit head did?"
"You already know I live for the drama so tell me." He says in a sarcastic tone, looking down at his phone that lit up in the cupholder.
I tilt my head to the side, wondering why he was looking at his phone so much. I couldn't see anything however, just the slightest glare along the ring of the cup holder letting me know his phone was on but nothing beyond that.
"Do you want to hear it or not dib shit?" I ask as I stop looking at the back of his phone, he nods his head still looking down at his phone with an uninterested expression before looking back up at me.
I don't know whether it was someone who was texting him and just irritating him, or if I was just boring him.
"Yes tell me." He says when he noticed me looking at him a little harder than usual.
This is the point where I start adjusting myself in my seat, I was getting ready to get myself worked up. I put my legs back down onto the floorboard, sitting back straight just to turn my head to trell with my arms crossed once again.
"It was bad wasn't it?" He asks, seeing it in my face that I looked really annoyed.
It wasn't that bad, but I like being dramatic sometimes.
"He left me at the diner he insisted on going with me too! He said it wasn't smart for me to walk alone at night, then left me to walk back alone at night." I rant, throwing my hands up like I had just lost the lottery.
It ticked me off for some reason, but it's never something I would admit to him. I did want him to leave, but he insisted and wouldn't leave me alone until we went and just left after.
"You wanted to walk alone?" Is all trell picked up on, and this is where I knew I may have fucked up just a little.
"Well originally yeah-" he cut me off before I could explain anything to him.
"Did iann know?" He asks, looking at me like I just fucked up by telling him it.
"No-"
He closes his mouth so he wouldn't laugh, but the laugh still ended up leaving his mouth. "I'm going to tell him, he needs to watch you better."
You would think I wasn't grown with how much people tell my friends about things I've done just to get me in trouble.
"Trell damnit you're missing the point. He left me, how are you going to leave me after you wouldn't let me go by myself." I mutter, crossing my arms with the same irritated expression I've had.
"Lil' mama, it's sounds like you didn't want him to leave." He says, looking at me with his bottom lip pushed up in a bit of a pouting motion with his eyebrows raised.
"I did-"
"Mhm." He hums, looking at me with a sly smile as if he didn't believe me.
"It's been what a week? Within that week I've decided that I don't like him, so don't mhm me." I mumble, slowly raising my left middle finger just to flip him off since he could clearly see it.
He shrugs, "I met him today and already know I don't like him. I just find it a little strange for you to get mad someone left when you claim you don't like them."
It's been a week. I've talked to him maybe three times within that week, and all of which have been him just being rude. I'm not counting yesterday or earlier because I'm not buying whatever he's trying to sell.
I'm just praying when I get back harry isn't in my hotel room.
Trells phone begins to vibrate, elevating the sound of it thrashing against the hard plastic due to the speaker being surrounded by something hallow.
His eyes dart down to it before quickly picking it up, he taps his phone screen once and raises the phone to his ear. "Hello?" He answers, his chest puffed up a bit but he didn't sound interested in who he was talking to.
"Who is it?" I mouth, his eyes flicker to me as he holds one finger up as a hold on motion.
"Yeah, where are you?" Trell asks to whoever he's talking to, I try to listen harder and see if I can hear the voice on the other end but I couldn't.
"Alright." Is all he says before he ends the call.
He turns his head to look over to me before taking his car keys out of the ignition, "Okay let's go, get out of the car." He says as he pulls his car door open.
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "Why?"
But then I realize he just got off the phone with someone, so I automatically knew the surprise was a person. Who the person was however was still a mystery.
"Your surprise is here."
I keep a suspicious look on my face, scanning him up and down before slowly grabbing the door handle and pulling it to open the door.
"Stop looking at me like you don't trust me." He says as I continue my slow actions and slowly push the door open.
I roll my eyes as we both slide out of the car, standing up just to shut the doors behind us. He was in the street as I stepped into the sidewalk we were parked against.
I look around the row of houses that went straight shot down the block, seeing nothing but random cars and small sections of front lawns due to how close all the houses were together.
It was a bit more windy than usual today, but then again it's autumn so I suppose it fits. I tuck my hands into the small pockets the cropped hoodie I was wearing had, turning my head back just to see if there was anything in the back of me that would help me understand what the surprise was better.
I see nothing so I turn back to look at trell, "can you tell me what my surprise is now?" I ask as he stands in front of his car fairly distant away from me.
"No, because it's going to lessen the blow on the thing I have to tell you." He says casually before stuffing his hands into his sweatpant pockets.
I roll my lips into my mouth, nodding my head. "Oh ok—" then the realization struck me of what he just said, "wait what now?"
He puts his hands up as a surrendering motion, "in my defense I didn't know until a few months ago which is why I went to Atlanta." He says as if it was supposed to make it better.
My jaw dropped so fast you would think it was a brick getting dropped. "Months? You kept something from me for months?" I repeat in shock.
He snitches himself out 90% of the time, so the fact that he was able to go months without telling me was mind-blowing.
He nods his head, but his eyes keep looking behind me. I click my tongue, flashing him a glare before I attempt to turn my head. "Don't look back." He says, making me freeze.
"Trell I swear if someone comes up from behind me and grabs me I'm going to scream bloody murder." I warn, putting my hands up a bit with a closed fist like I was ready to swing.
He starts smiling, "don't do that you can't just swing on people," he starts, his eyes keep flickering from me to looking at the back of me.
"Oh and also I have a kid." He adds on just as I process what's coming up behind me.
"So the surprise is a-" I was blown back by what he just said. My eyes went wide as my eyebrows furrowed, my mouth hangs open as I put my hands out as a backup motion. "Wait what?"
He doesn't even dare look at me, waving his hand to who was walking up behind me to rush them. "Malik come here!" He rushes, a fake toothy grin on his face as he looks like he's ready to run away.
"Kentrell you have a what— malik?"
My head and body whip around, being met straight with the kid I haven't actually seen since his sophomore year of high school. As soon as he seen me turn around, a smile rose on his face as he dropped the black backpack he was holding onto the lawn next to him.
Malik hasn't been staying in Oakland because he decided it was best for him to go to a better high school, and the high school he got accepted into was all the way in Virginia, and since all his time went into that he never came down to visit. That didn't mean he never called, but I haven't seen him face to face for two years.
My hands raise to cover my mouth as I was still processing the shock that was washing through my body, but as soon as he spread his arms out I found my legs running towards him without a second thought.
No words were said between us, but even with that you knew it was nothing but pure happiness. As soon as we get to stand in front of each other, I wrap my arms around his neck making him lean forward as he wraps his arms around my upper back. My chin rests on his shoulder, as his rests on mine as well.
It was absolutely insane how much he had grown within the years I haven't seen him, he's taller now, he still had a baby face but he had still looked so different.
This was the tightest hug I've had in a while, and I felt like a mom who had just sent her kid to college with how badly I was fighting the urge to cry.
"Aw look at the lovers reuniting!" Trell teases loudly, I couldn't see him due to my back being turned to him but I knew he was still standing in the front of his car.
For what felt like the tenth time today, I free one of my hands from being wrapped in a hugging motion from malik's neck as I feel one of his arms loosen around my back. I flip trell the finger once again, and I had the feeling malik did the same because I now only felt one of his arms wrapped around me.
"Why was it in sync— fuck y'all too." Trell mutters making both me and malik laugh.
Me and him pull away from the long-awaited hug, "looks like you grew up without me fucker." I say making him roll his eyes with that same smile he's had forever stayed glued on his face as our arms drop from each other.
"At least you heard my voice, it's not my fault that this had to be a surprise. You just talked to me what a few weeks ago?" He says before bending down to pick up the black backpack he had discarded.
"That's not the same, and I'll get on you about this being a surprise in a minute but first," I trail off before turning around to look at trell.
"Now trell you said you had a what?"
☦︎ ☦︎ ☦︎
Trell just casually adding it in like🧍♀️
Now this was a chapter i had to post so we'd get to all the good stuff, but remember to keep in mind that Trell has a son it may or may not come in at a later time
Everything happens for a reason.
And heres who i imagine malik to look like
Trinidad Cardona, now he's not as present in this story as much as trell but still have to give you guys something to go off of<3