I wake up and immediately sit up, causing Jax to groan. "Don't go yet." He says and I sigh. "I have to." I say and he groans. "I hate your work ethic." He says and I lean down to kiss him.
"Why does everything bad happen when you come home?" He asks and I shrug. "They love me being there." I say and he sighs.
"You should come to Brazil more often." I say and he sighs. "I'll try." He says and I smile.
I have a quick shower and get dressed. I head into Alannah's room and scoop her up. She's not as little anymore, but any moment I get I'll take.
I meet Jax in the hall, he was in his gym clothes. He takes Alannah from me, to wake her up and say goodbye.
I follow out behind Jax and Alannah as her straps her into the car.
"I love you. I'll call you later, okay?" He asks and she nods. "I love you, bye bye dad." She says and cuddles back into her stuffed animal and falls back to sleep.
"Text me when you land?" He asks and I nod. He leans down and kisses me. "I love you." I smile and he smiles too. "I love you too." He says and I embrace into his warmth one more time.
When I try to pull away, he kisses my neck repeatedly whilst I just laugh.
"I've gotta go." I say and he nuzzles his head in my neck. "Come back to bed." He whispers. "I wish I could." I say and he sighs.
"I'll see you in two weeks." I say and he sighs. "That's ages." He sighs and I roll my eyes.
"We've been apart longer." He groans against my neck. "Don't remind me." He mutters.
"I've really got to go." I say and this time he lets me go. "Call me when you land." He says and I nod.
I quickly kiss his cheek and then climb in the car and head for the airport.
I get to the airport and carry an asleep Alannah up to the plane and to a bedroom.
****
Worst plane ride of my life.
I threw up for half of it.
"Yeah I think it's food poisoning or something." I shrug whilst stroking Alannah's back as she cries into my chest at my home office.
"Yeah but from what? I cooked last night." Jax says and I scoff. "Probably from you." I joke and he rolls his eyes.
"You know I'm a good chef!" He says and I scoff. "Do all chef's give their customer's food poisoning?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.
"If it was food poisoning, me, Alannah and Matteo would be ill as well." He says and I roll my eyes.
"It's probably stress, you need to calm down." He says and I sigh. "I'm not stressed." I say and he raises an eyebrow.
"Have you rang the doctor?" He asks. "No, because I'm fine." I say and he raises an eyebrow. "I'll call a doctor if you don't." He says and I sigh. "I'll call in a bit." I say and he smiles.
"I've got to go. Ring me with updates." He says and I nod. "Alannah say bye." I say and she looks up from my chest and hiccups.
"Bye bye dad." She cries. "I love you both." He says before ending the call.
"I'm fine Alannah, okay? I promise." I say and she nods slowly.
"Are you hungry. Let's get something to eat." I say walking into the kitchen.
I make Alannah her late lunch when Marco walks in.
"You're literally a life saver. Thank you so much." I say when I see him. "It's okay, don't stress. I'm here to help." He says and Alannah smiles at him.
I put food on the table for them and then kiss both their cheeks. "I'll be back to put her to bed." I say to Marco and he nods.
"No ice cream past 6pm!" I yell as I run to the office. I grab my bag and head outside where Mario was waiting for me.
When I get to the warehouse, I thank him and head inside.
****
Chaos.
My fucking warehouse is chaos and I need to go home for the next hour.
I need a second hand ASAP. I've got a kid at home and a mafia to run, no one to help me with that kid when im in Brazil and no one to help me with that mafia when im in New York or with Alannah.
"José." I yell as he walks past my office. He stands in my office door awkwardly.
"I need to leave for about an hour. Can you please get this warehouse in order." I ask standing up and gathering my stuff. "I can try, boss." He says and I turn to him.
"I like you José. You're a good man. But if I have to tell you, you can call me Lara one more time." I say and he nods quickly.
I head out of my office and lock the door. "See you in an hour?" He asks and I nod.
I get in the car and immediately thank Mario, when my phone starts ringing.
"Im on the way home now." I say answering Jax's phone call. "I know." He says and I raise an eyebrow.
"Alannah just rang me from your house phone." He says and I sigh."As soon as I bathe her and get her into bed I'll call you." I say and he sighs.
"Lara." He says sternly. "What?" I ask. "You aren't well. Why the hell are you going to the warehouse? You're an hour late leaving then you normally are. You need to be at home resting." He says and I groan.
"I can't, I physically can't. You know what it's like." I say and he sighs. "That's fucking not good enough Lara. I can't be there right now and you need to take care of yourself." He says and I roll my eyes.
"Lara. Go home and stay there." He says in a very angry tone and I sigh. "I can't." I say and he hangs up on me.
I start crying and furrow my eyebrows as I do so. Why am I crying?
A wave of nausea rolls over me. I yell at Mario to pull over before jumping out of the car.
I started throwing up, again.
****
"She's awake." Someone says looking over me. "Um... hi?" I say and slowly sit up.
"You're alright." Marco says and I raise an eyebrow. "What happened?" I ask and they look at Mario. "Você desmaiou." He answers and I nod.
"Lucky for you, I hadn't long spoke to Jax and knew you needed a doctor. So there was one already here for you." Marco says and I thank him.
We turn to the doctor and he looks between us. "Você não está bem porque está grávida." He says and my eyes widen. No. No. No. I can't.
"Shit." I mutter and put a hand over my mouth.
Marco talks to them and dismisses them. I quickly thank them as they leave.
Marco helps me up. "It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay." He says and I groan. "I can't get pregnant right now." I say and he nods. "I know. But you'll be okay." He says before picking me up.
"Where's Alannah?" I ask and put my head on his shoulder. "She's in bed, she facetimed Jax and she was fast asleep by the end of it." He says and I nod.
He takes me to my room and places me on my bed. "You and Jax need to talk. Face to face." He says and I nod. He suddenly wipes at my face and I suddenly realise I'm crying again.
He hands me my phone and he doesn't answer at first, which actually resulted in me crying harshly.
Marco pulls out his phone and calls someone.
"Yeah. I'm with Lara at home. She needs to talk to you." He says and hands me the phone.
"Jax?" I ask as a choked sob attempts to come out. I take a deep breath and wait for his reply. "What is it? Lara? What's going on?" He asks and I take another deep breath.
"I need you. I need you to come to Brazil and we need to talk." I say and he lets out a noise. "Lara. I'm already on the plane. I'll be there in a few hours. Get some rest okay?" He asks and I nod.
"I love you." He says and I nod and start crying. "I love you too." I say and end the call before handing Marco back his phone.
"Thank you." I say and he nods. "I'm gonna go to the warehouse." He says and I sit up.
"I'm gonna help you, I'll be your right hand and I'll help you look for a new one." He says and I start crying again before wrapping my arms around him.
"Thank you." I whisper and he nods. "It's okay." He says and I smile.
I pull away and he leaves.
"Rest." He says and I nod. I thank him again.
When he leaves I head to Alannah's room. She was curled up in bed. I go and lay beside her and she immediately clings to me.
I lean down and kiss her and suddenly sleepover takes me, a lot faster than it ever has.
****
If I could throw my phone out of a window, I definitely would.
I carefully remove Alannah from me and grab my phone.
"Hello?" I ask and yawn. "Come down and tell your security to fucking let me in." Jax says and I nod. "Two minutes." I say before heading downstairs and over to the security terminal.
"É Jax, você o viu muitas vezes. Nunca o questione, deixe-o entrar." I say and they quickly nod before opening the gate.
The second the car got through the gate, I started walking towards the house when Jax gets out of the car.
"You actually are the dumbest women ever." He says putting his suit on me and picking me up. "Sorry." I apologise and start crying.
"Shit. Lara don't cry. I wasn't being serious. You aren't stupid." He says and I sigh. "I don't wanna cry. I can't help it." I cry and he pulls me closer to him.
"Are you on your period?" He asks and I cry harder. "Yeah?" He asks and I shake my head. "No, I'm not." I say heading inside.
Jax puts me back on my feet and pulls his jacket more over me.
"Where's Marco?" He asks as I thank Mario for bringing in Jax's luggage and for earlier.
"He's gone to the warehouse. He's offered to help for a while." I say and Jax raises an eyebrow. "What happened?" He asks holding my forearms.
I head towards my office but he pulls me away from it. "Don't even think about it." He says and then heads upstairs to my room.
We sit on my bed. I sit with my knees in my chest, but Jax sits on the side and caresses my ankle.
"I'm scared." I admit and he sighs. "It's not like cancer is it?" He asks and I shake my head. "I'm not ill." I say and he raises an eyebrow.
"Yes you are." He says and I shake my head no. "I'm not." I say and he tilts my chin to look at him.
"You're scaring me." He admits at I sigh. "Tell me what's going on." He says and I nod slowly before playing wity my rings nervously.
"I'm pregnant." I say and he turns to me. "Pregnant?" He asks and I nod.
"I'm not ready for another child." I say and he nods. "We weren't prepared for this. We set dates and they're ages away. I don't even know how it happened. Im taking my birth control. I swear to god I am. I'm so sorry." I ramble and he sits beside me and pulls me onto his lap.
I cry into his neck and he strokes my back.
"You can have an abortion Lara. I won't be angry with you." He says and I snap my head. "I don't want that." I say and he nods slowly. "I didn't think you would but it's an option, if you want a way out." He says and I nod.
"I love you." He says kissing my cheek.
"How are you feeling about this?" I ask and he nods. "I know the date is planned for all of us to start trying, late next year. But Lara, it's okay." He says and I shake my head.
"I'm not a good juggler." I say and he laughs. "What?" He asks and I lean back against the headboard.
"I haven't got anyone to take care of Alannah and we're back and forth all the time. That's exhausting. Then to bring a baby into it. I don't have a right hand to help whilst I raise the baby. I know Marco offered but he's getting old and I feel guilty." I say and he nods.
"What about James?" He asks and I raise an eyebrow. "Huh?" I ask.
"Since he had that injury he's been stuck at home. I'm sure he would be more than happy to watch Alannah every other month for a few hours to help you. Just till you find your stepping." He says and I sigh. "Jax, that was what Amara was for. Its been months later and now I'm pregnant and this whole thing is a mess." I say and he nods.
"We'll sort it out. We'll come up with a plan." He says and I lean my bed back and smack it on the headboard.
"Ow." I say and Jax cringes as he watches me. "Be careful." He says and I groan.
"How am I gonna run a mafia whilst being pregnant?" I ask and he holds my hand. "We'll figure it out. It'll be okay." He says and pull the blanket over me.
"You aren't going to go through this alone. I'll be with you every single step of the way." He says taking his suit off. "But you have work. I can't keep you from your work." I say and he shrugs. "I've got Gio, you don't have anyone." He says and I smile.
"Thank you." I smile and he kisses my hand. "But you need to calm down." He says and I nod. "I know." I sigh and he kisses me.
"From now on we stay together. If you're needed here, we'll both be here. If I'm needed in New York we'll both be there. I'll take care of you and everything is going to be okay." He says and I nod.
"Thank you." I say and he cups my cheeks. "I love you." He says and kisses me before I can respond. I pull back and smile. "I love you too." I smile.
He tucks me into bed and goes to check on Alannah.
When he comes back, he gets in beside me and holds me. "It's going to be okay." He says stroking my hair as I fall asleep.
This guy! He is the sweetest.