Logan
On the entire ride back home, I could feel her heart beating against my back. The combination of the freezing cool air, her hands around my stomach, pressing us closer, and her head leaning on my shoulder keeps me higher than the clouds.
Tonight has been extraordinary. I don't think I've ever just sat down with someone to watch the stars. And somehow, the simplicity of being still while the universe goes on illuminating a sky of gazillion planets is so liberating. It makes me realize how insignificant I am, eliminating the extent of my anguish in the process.
When we finally get to Adam's place, my heart squeezes a tiny bit. Never have I ever looked at a place and subsequently felt that it was home. But this, it feels an awful lot like home. Warmth spreads in my stomach once I realize that I'll go in with Em, probably watch TV and eat junk food rather than finding the place empty.
I remove my helmet and help Em remove hers as well.
I tap my motorcycle dramatically, "Farewell, you've been a wonderful companion, my friend."
She rolls her eyes. "Bro, you've only had this thing for like two weeks."
"Did you just call me bro?"
She is taken off guard for a split second before shrugging. "So?"
I take a step closer, until she's pressed against the motorcycle. Until my nose touches hers. Until her hand grasps my elbow. I can sense her holding her breath as my lips graze her ear. I bite her outer ear, before moving down to her jaw and the sensitive spot right between her jawline and neck. She tilts her head, her hands holding on to my hair as she lets out a soft moan. Fuck, that sound is enough to make me hard.
"You see, sweetheart, a bro won't make your breath hitch like I do," I whisper softly in her ear.
She arches her back involuntarily, and I press myself against her, wanting her to feel what she does to me - how fucking turned on I am just from her frantic breaths. However, instead of being met by more hair pulling and breathless moans, she pushes me away and jumps to the other side of the motorcycle.
What a fucking tease. "The fuck, Em?"
I soon realize that she's actually panicking and not just messing with me. "What? What happened? Did I go too fast-"
"Adam. Adam's here."
Oh. Oh. Right, his car is here.
Why did we stop again?
When I walk closer to her, she pushes me away. "No, Logan, Adam's here. Okay? I can't do this. Do you think he saw us or something?"
Annoyance hits me. Or jealousy. Or maybe both. Why does she care what Adam thinks, anyway? Like, I get it, he's her roommate and best friend and shit but still. I just shake my head and walk towards the front door. "Whatever."
Before I can take out my keys to open it, Adam opens it. Oh, and he looks like he's going to murder me.
"I can explain," Em says immediately but his gaze is focused on me. Fuck, I mean, he did say that Em is off limits but I didn't take it so seriously. Besides, I swear, she's not just a hookup.
He leaves the door open before walking back inside the living room. Emily is panicking; she runs after him, leaving me even more annoyed than I was. I close the door and walk to the living room where Adam's whispering something to Em.
Her face turns white as a sheet.
"What is happening?" I ask.
She gulps, and he lets out a long exhale. "Logan, what did you say to Jade?"
What does this have to do with anything?
I shrug. "Something along the lines of fuck off?"
Adam purses his lips. "Right. Great job, Logan. That's such a smart move, pissing Jade off."
"Uh oh. Why? Did she say something to you?" Like tell you that I'm going to stay here forever? And why does the thought of staying here longer sound so appealing?
"Yeah she did. She said that she's coming over. In fact, she's at the airport, right now. And guess what? She'll be here in seventeen hours!"
"Oh."
Shit. I really don't want to see my mom. "Couldn't you say no or something? Besides, where is she even going to stay? There's no room for her here. There's no way in hell I'm letting her sleep in my room."
Adam closes his eyes, probably cursing me internally. I turn to Em, who looks like she saw a ghost. "I'm going to pack."
I frown. "Why? You don't need to give her your room. It's fine, she can stay at a motel or something. Or, like, worst case scenario, I'll just take the couch and she can take my room."
"Logan, Jade doesn't know that Em lives here," He speaks very slowly.
"So? Just tell her? Why are you guys being so weird, anyway? I mean... it's not the first time Jade has visited... Right?" Mom visits Adam every year... Unless she's been lying and going off somewhere else- No, that's not possible. Mom is too much of a goody-two-shoes that I genuinely can't think of her going anywhere else.
"We should just tell him, Adam," Emily says, without even looking at me.
"Tell me what?"
Adam shakes his head. "It's too soon."
"What do you mean it's too soon? He's been living with us for almost two months! Besides, I trust him."
"Yeah, well you've been way too trusting recently. But I'll deal with you later."
"What?! What does that even mean?"
"Can we stop talking about me in third person and acknowledge that I'm standing right here?"
Both of them look at me for the first time.
"I'm adopted," Emily blurts out before turning to Adam, whose jaw has dropped. "You can't keep me a secret forever. You know that, right? I'll go pack."
Holy shit.
Holy freaking shit.
I am so fucking dumb that it actually hurts. Of course, she's adopted! Jesus Christ, how did I not see this coming? I mean, the pictures on the fridge - she's like twelve in the pictures! And the drawings and the way they treat each other. Oh my God, I feel so freaking stupid right now.
And the way Adam worries about her and takes care of her - How did I not see this coming? I mean, I don't get why he wouldn't just tell me. And this means that this has been going on for the past ten years or something, which is insane.
"Holy crap... And mom doesn't know, does she?"
Adam shakes his head. The slam of the front door shakes me. I make a mental note to follow her after I'm done with Adam.
"Well, shit, Adam. How the fuck are you going to explain that to Jade?"
"I don't know, Logan! That's exactly why I fucking need time!"
"Time? Wait, how long has this been happening, anyway?"
He looks away. "I don't want to talk about it."
"I don't think you have much of a choice if you want me to help you."
"You can be such a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that, right?"
I shrug, before taking a seat next to him. After maintaining eye contact for about ten seconds, he reluctantly sighs. "I met Emily twelve years ago, when I was just twenty years old, and she was like seven. I was doing my sophomore internship in psychology at the Orphanage center which was basically a convent."
He looks so torn, just from remembering. I can't help but lean closer to him.
"And she was there. She was quiet, closed-off and mostly... sad. Most of the other kids got presents or at least visits, except for her. Nothing. It's like she was completely abandoned. And it broke my heart because she was smart, and kind, and-" He stops when his voice breaks.
"She was the kid who would eat only half of her plate, and give the rest to the stray cat. She only had one doll, and would take care of it religiously. She was that kid, Logan. And I begged my parents to adopt her, because no one deserves to go through what she was going through."
"But they didn't," I mutter. "Knowing grandpa and grandma, of course they didn't."
He shakes his head. "And so I kept visiting her every weekend. I spent all of my allowance on donations to the convent so they would let me see her. That's until I turned twenty-two and got my first job. That's when I adopted her."
"Holy shit, so it's been ten years?"
He nods. "I mean, everybody knows from our circle; Josh, Sabine, Melanie... But my parents didn't. They passed away not knowing, and I just couldn't tell Jade afterwards cause I felt like an ass for lying to our parents on their deathbed."
"Fuck, Adam," I exhale.
My heart breaks for Em, just imagining what she went through. At the same time, I feel like shit for every single summer we came over and she had to leave. Fuck, this is why she hated me at first.
Okay, well, I need to go. I need to find her. I won't let my mom do the same thing to her now.
"Where are you going?"
"To find her."
He purses his lips. "She's at our old condo, where we used to live before my parents died."
I'm taken off guard for a second when he texts me the address. I didn't expect him to be helping me. "Uh, thanks."
Before I turn around, he stops me. "You know, Logan, if you hurt her, I'll kill you. I don't care if you're my nephew."
I can't bite back my smile.