Zayn's POV
I walked back to Niall's room after getting my school uniform on and getting my backpack. But when I walked in and saw there was no sign of the Irish boy even being there, I got a bit confused. I had just told him to wait for me while I got ready. I went to looked in his bathroom to see if he was in there, but came up with nothing. So, I decided to go down to the cafeteria and see if he was already in there for breakfast. I didn't think I took that long to get ready.
On my way down, I talked to a few people I had class with and asked if they had seen the boy, but they just told me they hadn't. When I walked into the cafeteria, I looked around for the small boy that seemed to always stick out in a crowd to me, but again I didn't find him.
"Zayn!" Harry's deep voice yelled across the room. I saw that most of my team mates were sitting at the table Niall and I sit at, but Niall was missing from the picture. I walked over to him and set my stuff down, but felt a bit uneasy about loosing track of my boyfriend. I thought he was alright to be left alone for a few minutes while I got ready, I guess I thought wrong.
"Where's Niall?" Harry asked me after he looked around for the boy, just like I was. His green eyes met mine and he looked a bit worried about something.
"Did you two...?" He asked me, trailing off on the last part, making me understand that he was asking if we broke up. No, it's something even stupider than that. I lost him and don't know where he wondered off to.
"No, no, we're fine. I don't know where he is though. I'm going to class to see if he just went there. I'll catch you later." I told him and stood up. His big hand wrapped around my wrist and put a muffin in my hand, giving me a small smile.
"I forgot that Liam wasn't here anymore and got him a muffin like I do every morning. Give it to Niall." He told me, then turned away from me to talk to some of the other boys on the team.
I was so worried about not knowing where Niall was that I never truly took time to realize that today was going to be our first day of school without Liam. This isn't going to be a good day, I can already tell that by how it has started, but I know I'll make it through the day somehow. I just need to find Niall so I can be happier than I am now because of Harry's nice little reminder I don't have my best friend here anymore.
The bell had just rang when I walked into Mr.Cowell's classroom and I immediately saw Niall sitting there, just looking out the window, but I couldn't help but notice that his face had red botches on it and his eyes were red rimmed. I started to go over to where he sat in the back of the classroom, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.
"You've already done enough, Malik. Give him space." Mr.Cowell told me quietly and sadly form behind me. I turned and looked at him with a confused look on my face, probably making myself look stupid, but he just gave me a sad smile and pulled me over to his desk.
"Did you finish the books I gave you to read over spring break?" He asked me, but I felt that he had a guard up with me or that he was trying to keep his cool as he spoke. At the mention of the books, I immediately thought of how I would read them every night to Niall before bed. I got a children's book everyday to read over the break and the only reason I read them was to make Niall happy. Sure, I forgot a few times to read them, but he always made me. He would curl up to me, while sucking his thumb, and listen until he fell asleep. I loved every second of that, even if I was stressed the whole break about Liam.
"Yeah, I did. I can give them back after school. I think their still in Niall's suitcase." I said, looking over to Niall, who was now looking around at all the students entering the class. He looked like he had just been crying, but I didn't want to know who made him cry. I was more angry I wasn't there to save him from getting hurt.
"You and Niall spent the break together? I guess relationships nowadays don't last as long as they used to. I guess you got tired of being committed to someone who isn't the same as everyone else. He's a good kid, you didn't need to do this to him. Please take your seat, Mr.Malik." Mr.Cowell told me with a bite to his words that hit me straight in the heart. They made no sense to me either, but I didn't want to fight with him because he's my teacher. I gave him a look of confusion again, then listened to him and went to take my seat next to the devil himself.
I put my stuff down and turned to the back of the class trying to make eye contact with Niall. When I did, he just gave me a sad smile then looked away from me, taking a piece of my heart with him. I don't know what was going on with him, I mean, we had such an intimate moment last night that I thought things would be moving to a different level with us. Even though I was the one that didn't get anything out of the whole experience and it was probably the worst hand job in the world, I felt like there was a connection made between us. I felt like it ment something more, like that he trusted me and maybe even loved me...
The rest of class I felt my throat keep closing up as tears wanted to make an appearance to everyone in the room. I just wanted this day to be over so I could go Skype Liam and cry to him about how I have no clue what I did wrong that Niall is giving me the cold shoulder.
I felt a small hand on my arm and looked over beside me and saw Louis standing up with his stuff packed up. I looked around the room and saw that we were the only people in here, except for Niall who was just now leaving and Mr.Cowell who was grading papers.
"You alright?" Louis asked me quietly and sincerely. I nodded and picked up my backpack to leave. I saw Niall look back at me before leaving and a small tear rolling down his cream colored cheek, then he left.
"Zayn, what I told you yesterday... I'm sorry I said it so suddenly, I just figured you knew. Just- if things don't work out with you and Niall, maybe we could try us." Louis offered shyly. I put my backpack over my shoulder, and gave him a sarcastic look like I was actually thinking about it.
"How about this?" I started, feeling my anger towards this stupid boy start to boil. If it weren't for him, I would have Liam to run to and hug me while I tried to understand what the fuck I did wrong in my first real relationship.
"I know what you did with Liam, that's why he's not here. You also punched me in the face twice and gave me a concussion after you said you wanted to try being friends. I'm in love with someone too, but it is most definitely not you and never will be. Just leave me alone, Louis." I told him calmly, then started leaving the classroom. I heard Mr.Cowell laugh under his breath and speak a few things that actually made me feel just a bit better.
"Zayn Malik is the nicest jackass I know." He mumbled as I left. I shook my head and slammed the classroom door behind me. Now I just need to find Niall and ask him what's wrong and how I can fix it.
That task was actually allot harder than it seemed like it would have been. Niall managed to avoid me as I continued to try to get his attention. I lost him again at lunch so I tried to get him to talk to me in our last class which was math, but he just put his head in his book, cried, then fell asleep for the rest of the school day. When the bell rang, he ran from the class and I managed to loose the small boy again. I must have really done something wrong because this is sure as hell hard on me, both mentally and emotionally.
It was Monday, so I didn't have practice. I just went straight up to the dorm rooms, changed my clothes and went to Niall's room. I'm not done trying to find out why he's ignoring me. If he wants to break up with me, he needs to use his words that way I can properly want to rip my heart out myself. Not him just doing it by giving me these looks like he wants to talk to me, but he can't. This is slowly killing me because... goddammit, I fucking love him.
I made it outside his door and was about to just walk in, but the door was locked. I pressed my ear against the door to see if he was in there, and heard some humming. I knew he was playing with his toys because I've sat with him multiple times and watched him play. He hums made up songs or even just words that he learned throughout the day. How can someone so cute be causing me so much pain?
I tapped on the door and heard the humming stop. I thought maybe he was coming to answer his door, but when the humming started again I just knocked again.
"Niall, it's Zayn. Can you please let me in so I can talk to you?" I asked through the door, just wanting an answer to this behavior. The sounds stopped, but my hopes were let down at the words he spoke.
"Niall's not home right now, leave a message after the beep. Beep!" I groaned and slammed my head against the door at his response. Normally that would be funny and cute, but it hurts me and I just want him to talk to me.
I gave up and went back to my room, in hopes I could maybe talk to my best friend and make a mess of myself by crying my eyes out and looking ugly as fuck. I opened my laptop and logged into my Skype account and sent Liam a call. I waited for two minutes before he accepted and his face popped up smiling, but it only made me break down crying.
"Li Li, come back! Niall hates me! Louis is a dick and I want you!" I cried and covered my face with my hands as I continued to cry on my bed with the laptop in front on me. I heard Liam let out a chuckle, and it hurt even more that I couldn't feel his arms hugging me right now.
"Zayn, Niall could never hate you. We know Louis' a dick and I can't go back because Louis is a dick. Stop crying and tell me what's actually wrong." Liam said softly and calmly. I wiped my face and took a few deep breaths, then started.
"Niall has just been ignoring me all day. Last night, we did... things so I thought we were fine, and closer than before. Then, this morning, he ditched his room when I told him I would be back, then he looked like he was crying when I saw him in class. At the end of the day he cried into his math book, then fell asleep. He even pretended to be an answering machine! I don't know what I did!" I told him frantically, while some more salty tears fell down my face. Liam's face still showed a small smile, but I saw concern in his eyes.
"It's Niall we're talking about. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Just give him another day to let whatever thoughts are going through his mind settle, then talk to him. Whatever he's thinking is still fresh for him to process the right words to explain to you. It's probably nothing." He assured me, making me feel allot calmer than I was when I called him. I nodded and took a few more deep breaths before deciding Niall just needs a bit to himself, even if it kills me to be ignored by him.
"I'm sorry about that, it's been a rough day. How was your day?" I asked my best friend. He gave a shrug and his smile fell.
"I hate this school and I wish I never left and would have just grown a pair so I could confront Louis. The teachers are nice, but the kids all want to beat me up for some reason. Also, this place is missing a certain boy from Bradford and one from Ireland." He told me with his voice cracking a bit. I wished I could hug him right now, but I just kept the thought in the back of my mind because I knew it would be impossible.
"I love you, Li." I mumbled quietly, hoping he would hear me. I never really like saying those words to anyone. I'm always afraid the other person doesn't love me back and I'll get hurt, but I know Liam does.
"Love you too, Zayn. So, did you hear about the crazy guy that escaped from the London penitentiary?" Liam asked me making me laugh and shake my head.
"If that's you attempt to lighting the mood, then you're doing a horrible job at it." I told him making him laugh. He shook his head and pointed at me through the screen.
"No, I'm serious! He's on the loose and he's, like, a complete psycho. He's just running free on the streets. I'm glad I'm not in London like you are." He told me with a cheeky grin. I felt ten times better than I did when I first started talking to him, even if he is freaking me out by telling me there's a crazy man on the loose.
I heard his mum in the background telling him to get off the computer. He turned to look at away from me, then looked back at me with a sweet smile. I let out a laugh because he's living at home again and he always said he liked living away from home because his parents are strict. I feel like that's why they hated me being friends with their son because they didn't choose me to be his friend. That was all Liam.
"I have to go, bro. I'll text you in a bit. Call me tomorrow and tell me how things work out with Niall. Love you!" He said and waved a bit.
"I will, love you too! Tell your mum I love her and I got a tattoo on my ass!" I told him loudly, hoping his mum was in the room. When I heard a gasp and saw Liam's eyes widen, I knew she was. He shut the lid to the laptop just as I heard his mum start telling Liam to stop being friends with me. Maybe it would be a good decision, but we're not even friends anymore; we're brothers.
I took off whatever clothes I was wearing and got all curled up in my cold bed that I would be sleeping alone in tonight. My pillow smelt faintly of Niall, so I brought that close to me as I closed my eyes, and inhaled the sweet smell. Distance does make the heart grow fonder because I can't even see straight right now without him. I told myself to just wait till tomorrow after school, then I'll talk to him better. Until then, I'll just hold this pillow close to me wishing it was the actual boy, not just a remembrance of him actually being here. God, this hurts.
A/N: sorry this is such a long ass chapter! I have the book ending soon. So I need to get everything set straight before I make this something you will always remember! Comment / Vote!
- Bri;)