Bonus: I Lost {Ellie}
Three and a Half Years Free from Keenan
For the very first time, the fear of Cole actually losing a fight is flickering through my body.
Carl Wineford is a big man, and he has the reach advantage over Cole. There aren't many fighters in this weight class that are taller than him, not many that can absolutely rock Cole's shit like Wineford just did.
Cole staggers back away from the large man. His dark hair is dripping with sweat, and even as he shakes the hit off, Cole's eyebrow pours blood down the right side of his face. Sebastian yells next to me, screaming at Cole to get his fucking hands up.
I glance backward to Scarlet, who sits up in the third row of the stands, a worried look on her face. Asher's jaw works harshly, his arms folded across his chest. It's easy to see he's worried about Cole, too, and the fact that even Asher is worried makes me all the more nervous.
Cole sends a hard right hook toward Wineford, but I can see the pain written across his face as he does so.
I told him not to fight tonight.
I told him his shoulder wasn't ready.
Fuck.
It's only been eight weeks since Cole fucked up his shoulder during training, and the athletic trainers told him he had to take approximately four months to try and heal it. He had trouble even lifting Wyatt up out of his crib, and the six-month-old doesn't really weight that much. Yet he accepted this fight, and went back way too early to begin training again. It's easy to see how much it hurts him as he dodges a swing from Wineford.
Cole changes his stance, moving to a Southpaw position.
He has power in his left hand, but it's not his dominant hand, and if Wineford gets ahold of his right arm, Cole might not have a chance left in this fight.
My foot taps anxiously on the ground as I watch them trade hits for nearly another minute, both men pouring blood from some point on their faces and Wineford favoring his left leg. They've fucked each other up during this fight.
Suddenly, Wineford takes Cole to the ground and my heart nearly stops in my chest.
Cole can't grapple.
Hell, it's not a strong suit for him when he's not injured...
With an injured shoulder, he's already at only half his strength.
He'll be fine.
He's gonna be perfectly fine, Ellie.
Cole and Wineford try to fight for position for a few moments, and then Wineford finally spots Cole's weakness. Tugging his right arm into an armbar position, Cole lets out a pained yell, trying to keep his fingers locked so that Wineford can't lock the position in.
His fingers slip.
And I watch as Wineford locks in the armbar on Cole's injured arm, looking only seconds away from fucking up his elbow and shoulder even worse.
For the very first time, Cole taps out.
My heart sinks, and I watch as Wineford's corner go crazy, jumping into the cage to celebrate.
Cole lies on the mat still, cradling his injured arm against his chest as he breathes deeply, shuddering. Sebastian is the first one to him, leaning over him and saying something I can't quite make out. Cole just shakes his head, closing his eyes.
He lost.
Cole just lost a fight for the first time ever.
Sebastian looks up at me, yelling so that I can hear him over the loud crowd. "Meet us in the locker room!" I nod, heading toward the private rooms to wait for Cole and the others to come to me. It takes nearly fifteen minutes, but the very second they enter the room, I feel the cold, dark aura of Cole floating around us. It's easy to see he's in pain, and disappointment is plastered across his face like a flashing sign.
Six people are touching him at once, and it just makes him even more frustrated, yet none of them pick up on the signs. One man wipes Cole's body with a towel, apologizing when he puts pressure on Cole's injured shoulder. Another man offers Cole water, while Sebastian talks to him in a low voice. Two more men work on Cole's gloves, taking them off and undoing the tape beneath them.
I want to step forward and tell them to give him a moment, but if a single one of them even looks my direction, Cole might go berserk.
Finally, the explosion happens.
Quick as lightning, Cole stands up and shoves away from every one, glaring.
"Will you stop treating me like I'm helpless? I'm injured, not dying." I take a seat on the bench, reaching out to grasp his wrist softly. He cools instantly, and just releases a sigh. "Get out."
No one moves.
Cole raises his head, jaw setting as he glares once more before speaking.
They finally get the hint that Cole wants to be alone, and the men quickly grab their things, wishing Cole and I a goodnight before taking their leave. Sebastian lingers beside the door, glancing at us. "You need me to stay for anything?" Cole shakes his head.
Sebastian opens the door to leave, but pauses at the last moment.
"It happens, Cole. No matter how big you are, there's always someone bigger. Doesn't help that you went in with a fucked up shoulder. Don't let it get to you." Cole just hangs his head as Sebastian leaves.
I don't speak as it becomes silent.
The strong man in front of me just moves across the room, swiping a towel from the rack and then heading back my way. He kneels before me, pushing my legs open swiftly and throwing a towel across my lap.
"What-"
"I don't want to get blood on you," he answers before I can finish my question.
Cole lays his head in my lap, eyes closing as he works his arms around me. Kneeling on the floor between my legs and fingers twisting into the material of my shirt.
My heart breaks as he sighs into me, jaw clenching.
There aren't really any words that could help my love right now, and I doubt he wants to hear anyone preaching to him right this second anyways. So instead, I stay silent, taking the corner of the towel and swiping across the back of his neck gently.
Cole's shoulders tense briefly, and then he relaxes into me, fingers digging into my skin softly.
I let my hand follow the trail, delving my fingers into his sweaty locks.
It's gross, sure, but I don't mind at the moment. My love needs comfort, and I'd do anything to make him feel better right now. He takes my hands into his as he sits up on his knees, eyes meeting mine. There's a darkness behind them that I can't distinguish, and one of them is already beginning to swell.
"Are you disappointed in me?"
What the hell?
"Why would I be disappointed in you?"
"I lost." His voice cracks.
He says the words with a disheartening shrug, as if it explains everything.
Oh, Cole...
"No," I breathe. "Cole, I could never be disappointed in you." I lean forward, cradling his cheeks in my palms. "I'm proud of you."
His eyes close, and a weight seems to leave his shoulders.
"I love you," he speaks lowly, turning to kiss the palm of my left hand.
"I love you, Cole. So much. Win or lose, I'm so proud of you." Eyes closing, Cole lets me embrace him for several moments, before he takes a deep breath. "How's your shoulder feel?"
He gives a simple shake of the head.
"I'll have Asher to come and take a look at it," I speak, reaching into my back pocket for my phone. Cole stops me, putting a hand over mine and lowering the phone into my lap before I can place the call.
"I just want everyone to leave me alone right now."
Does... Does that me mean he doesn't want me around either?
"Do you want me to leave?" He shakes his head immediately.
"No. Never you." As if worried I'll walk out, Cole scoots in even closer, burying his face into my stomach and looping his arms around me. He relaxes more and more with each time I push my hands through his sweaty hair, waiting until he's ready to face the world before even thinking about moving.
It takes a while.
Cole was the co-main event, and so there is already another match starting as he lies against me. He'd wanted to watch after his fight, but no one expected Cole to lose for the first time.
And I know he's in agony over it.
My fingers accidentally brush his shoulder, and he hisses, stiffening. I shake my head, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he raises his eyes to mine.
"Will you please let Asher come and look at you?"
Eyes boring into my own, he finally relents, nodding. I quickly find Asher's number, and within only a few minutes, Asher, Sebastian, and Scarlet are all making their way into the locker room. With only slight argument from Cole, Sebastian and Asher convince him to go to the hospital, and they reveal to us that Cole has severely strained his shoulder, and if he had taken even a few more seconds in that submission trap by Wineford, he could have had to have surgery on his shoulder.
They told him he'd be out for at least a year.
The news weighs on him all the way until we get home, greeting Taylor at the door and getting our baby boy from her as she heads out to go home with Lucas and Alexander. The saint of a woman volunteered to watch the kids for us tonight so we could all attend Cole's fight, and even though I missed my boy something fierce, I would much rather him be here than a rowdy arena.
I take him from her arms, saying good-bye and thanking her as Cole walks into the house, waiting for me and waving to Taylor. As I enter, he takes Wyatt from me, holding him in his good arm. I smile at the sight of my husband and my son.
Wyatt has Cole's eyes, and judging by the way he's growing, it definitely seems like he's going to have Cole's height, too.
"Let's go find something to eat, hmm?" I watch as he presses a kiss to Wyatt's forehead, the two strutting off into the kitchen as I kick off my shoes, massaging my sore and still pregnancy-swollen feet.
Six months and my body still doesn't feel like my own.
Somehow, I don't think that feeling is going away anytime soon.
But as I look at my love swaying our son in his arms, staring into the fridge for something to eat, I realize that I wouldn't trade this for the world.
By the time we get fed and get Wyatt to sleep, we've been awake for nearly twenty-four hours straight, and it's taking its toll on Cole - it's obvious in the way he barely holds his eyes open as we stand in the steaming shower. With the door propped open so we can hear Wyatt and me peeking into the bedroom every five seconds to make sure he's still asleep, it feels like we're in the shower for hours, but when I look at the clock, it says we've only been home for an hour.
"Cole?" I run my hands along his back, face buried into his chest as I breathe him in.
"Hmm?"
"You okay?"
"I should've listened to you." I don't speak, and instead just tilt my head back so that I can look into his eyes. "You told me not to fight tonight. You said that my shoulder wasn't healed and if I'd have listened to you, I would still have a perfect record." I press a kiss to his chest.
He tenses.
"Did I hurt you?" I quickly pull away, but he holds me tighter, backing me into the cool tile.
"The opposite, baby. Your touch makes everything feel better." I smile, but it's quickly wiped off by Cole's lips as he presses into me.
I have no idea how the man is still going after the long day we've had, but the fact that he has me gasping and moaning in his arms only a few moments later is truly stunning. As if he isn't hurt or exhausted, Cole takes his time with me, and even with one arm, the man drives me insane.
By the time we exit, the shower has long ran cold, and I fall into bed, exhausted. Cole just gives me an adorable smile as he watches me, walking over to check on Wyatt in his crib before he joins me in bed, pulling me into his embrace. We both fall asleep within only seconds.
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