"Why do you keep staring at me?" Ask Persephone once she takes a bite of her Belgium waffle, chewing like a rabbit.
I giggle, thinking how adorable she looks like a chipmunk.
"You're acting weird."
I wasn't concerned about her calling me weird, but it only made me smile and giggle.
After I learned, my daughter has been with me the whole time. Alive and well, I couldn't help but smile. Last night, I couldn't sleep because of the sudden news Persephone is my daughter. At first, I didn't want to believe it and went out to clear my head until the sun rose. I thought about what Odin had said to me and to give me time to prepare mentally. It is still quite a shock, but she's my daughter. I'm new to parenting and will learn throughout the process, but I can't tell her she's my child. I am still waiting for the right moment. I want to spend time with her and get to know her.
I can not believe meeting my daughter after thirteen years can be overwhelming and nerve-wracking. What can we talk about? I don't even know what to ask. For now, all I can do is shower her with adoration.
Tears were building up in my eyes. I turn my face away to hold it together and not cry in front of Persephone.
I took a deep breath to calm myself and looked back at my daughter, filling her face.
I lift my arm, itching to poke the stuffed cheek.
"You missed out yesterday," I paused and froze my hand from touching the cheek.
"I know," I pull my arm back down on the table. "Ever since you returned, you were overwhelmed and couldn't keep still."
Yesterday was the best time she ever had at her first water park. Persephone was scared. First, Effie and the girls bought Persephone a swimsuit, but because of the scars and fear from the Order, she was too ashamed of her body. It took a while to convince her, and I didn't want her to feel pressured into something she didn't do. But she wanted to try it because she is with people who care about her.
"I couldn't help it," she protested. "It's the first time I've been to a water park and..."
I know how much of her childhood was taken from her. She was sheltered while other kids, normal kids, enjoyed things like going to the water park or spending time with family. Persephone and the other children in the Order never got that experience of being a kid.
I remembered when Odin would take me places to turn my frown upside down. But watching other kids my age at the time with their parents just made it worse for me. My parents didn't want me in the first place. So, why did my mother give birth to me?
Both of my parents are fucked up, and even though I didn't want to know who they were was best for me because I'm not going to let people like that ruin what I have especially giving birth to my daughter.
I spot a speck of brown syrup on the corner of Persephone's lip. I grab a tissue and reach over to wipe the syrup off.
"Eat slowly," I tell her with a chuckle. "Then get ready in an hour."
Today, Effie and her sister planned out activities for a whole day. I saw the list Effie had texted me, and I could not believe the two Reid sisters coordinated each activity. They are well prepared. But it will give me the time to spend with Persephone and get to know her more. I want to know all her likes and dislikes, favorite things, and maybe what she will do once she meets her mom. What would her thoughts be if she knew that I was her mom? Will she be sad? Angry? Disappointed? The worst can come out if she learns the truth from other people. I have to be the first one to tell her.
For now, I would like to spend the day with my daughter.
After breakfast, I put on my button shirt as Persephone stepped out of her room. A knock on the door had her go over and answer.
"Oh, hey, Seth," my whole body froze at the sudden name.
I know Seth has been avoiding me as I'm ignoring him, but unexpectedly, having him in our room makes me nervous.
"Are you two ready?"
When he said that, I turned. We looked at each other briefly, but it felt like forever. Those blue eyes I've longed for still haunt me the day I said our kiss was a mistake.
"I'm ready." She grabs her bear, Beau hugging it. "Terry?"
I blink and look at Persephone and smile. "I'm ready."
"Let's go; everyone is waiting in the lobby," Seth just walked out the door.
I stand and stare at where he had left. Even his tone didn't sound like him. I was expecting his cheery voice, but...
Suddenly, I feel a knot in my chest. I rubbed it, massaging the pain, but it wasn't going away.
"Terry? Are you okay?"
I pull up a wry smile and pat her head. "I'm fine. Let's go." I lied. I took her hand as we left our room together.
We caught up with Seth, and judging by his walk, he slowed down to reach him. But on his back, he was slumping. The walk down the hall made the atmosphere dead silent. Usually, Seth would bring up random things to lighten up the day. But today, he isn't talkative like before, and I hate that he's this quiet.
I have to say something. But what should I say? Knowing his attitude towards me, I'm the last person to cheer him up. It would've been him who would try and put a smile on my face. I'm not very good at talking about happiness when my twenty-six-year-old life was full of unhappiness and pain.
I shouldn't inflict my unstable emotions from my painful childhood on Seth.
"Um..." I start by making a sound. I hope he will hear that. "Seth, about that day. I-"
"Oh! There you guys are," Effie chirps, cutting me off, trying to talk to Seth. I watched him walk away and take a seat on the chair. He pulled out his phone and glued his eyes to the screen, avoiding eye contact with me.
Shit...
"Now we have everyone here. Ready to go? Hey Terry, you alright?" She hooks her arm around my neck, grabbing my attention.
"Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night," I tell her. That was partly true. I've been watching Persephone sleep like a fucking creeper. But all I was doing was providing protection and being overwhelmed that my daughter was back with me.
"Great! Rex and Don got the vans. So let's go, people. We are the clock on our schedule, and today will be very hectic. I mean, we are on a tight schedule, people." Thea flash us a list of activities.
"What the hell is this?" Ares was the one to spit. "Did you write a book or something?"
"Oh, don't be overly dramatic. It's just two pages."
"Two pages of activities?"
"I had Effie do the writing since she has nice handwriting."
"We can't do this all in one day!" Ares looks like he's about to explode. "This will take at least a week."
"Which is why I said we are on a tight schedule."
I grabbed the list from Thea, and my eyes grew wide. These sisters did a good job organizing, but the details of each activity are unbelievable. On Venice Beach, I didn't know you could do so much. I've seen this type of format before on Odin's desk. Indeed, these sisters take after their grandfather.
We all went out, and the warm sun touched my skin. I'm in front of the van; Thea opens the door and stands in front.
"Okay, since we have about twenty people and this van is a 15 seater while the other is a 12, I concocted a seating arrangement." Thea pulls out her phone. "Okay, the 15 seats will have me, Rex, Effie, Logan, Don, Claire, Lily, Liam, and our kids. For the other van...Seth, you don't mind driving?"
"It doesn't matter," he says in a monochrome tone.
"Okay, so Seth, Terry, Jordan, Ares, Sam, and Clark will have Poppy and Sophia." Checking her phone one last time before we leave for our activities. "Okay, everything seems in order. Let's go!"
We all get to our seating arrangements. I opened the door for the back seats until I was a tug. I look behind me to see Persephone. I stop and let others get in.
"You are sitting in the front," she tells me, pointing to the passenger seat.
"Ares can take that seat."
"No," she lowers her head to hide the conversation as secretive. "I sensed the tension between you and Seth earlier, and I know you wanted to talk to him by making him understand."
"How did you know?" Surprised by her words.
"I may have been locked up by some psycho lady who thinks she's a Saint, but I know it is like to like someone."
I furrow my brows. "You like someone? Who?"
I knew her life with the Order was chaotic, but to think she likes someone I didn't realize was new.
She hides her face as I see a hint of redness on her cheeks and ears.
"Y-yeah," she replies shyly. "He's a few older than me, and I don't know his name or what he looks like, but he's part of the Order, and he would send my food to me."
"He left?" I ask.
She nods, hugging Beau in her arms. "I heard from the others that four boys were kicked out of the order because they didn't follow the Saint's law." She lowers her head, and I see a sad expression.
Talking about a boy she knew and liked made it seem like she had some happy memories even though she could never see him again.
"He was nice to me and protected me from the adults," a teardrop from his eyes. I reach and wipe it away with my thumb. "When I did something the adults didn't like, he would take the hard hits for me. I could hear the painful screams from the other side of the door. So, I assume because of his actions against the Saint and his parents, he is exiled. Terry, I miss him. I hope he's okay. He's out in this dangerous world, and no one is there to be by his side." Her head stays down as she enters the van. I closed the door and got in the passenger seat.
The drive to our first activity will take at least thirty minutes. And my mind is on the unnamed boy.
I can sense her concern and worries for this mystery boy. Out of all the people in the Order, at least one cared about Persephone's well-being.
At least she had someone. I wished I had someone to look out for me within the walls of the Order. I kept to myself, stayed in the corner, hugged my fragile body, and repeatedly wished for someone to rescue me, to bring me out of that hell hole. And it did. I was out, thanks to Odin.
"He may be living his life of freedom."
"I know, but I want to know he's okay."
"Will you be able to recognize him?" I ask.
"Of course, although I can't see his face, I can never forget his voice." She blushes and pushes her hair back behind her ear. "His voice was gentle and warm."
Oh man, Persephone is hell-over-heels for this boy. I just found her, and now I learn this boy can be part of her salvation.
I pull out my phone and text Kendall with her help searching for children who have been exiled in recent years or this year from the Order. She can hack into their system and inform me once she finds the boy. It wouldn't be simple for her; children born in the Order are exiled and left with nothing. No money, no luggage, no one to turn to...nothing. Everything they owned was the property of the Order. They are disowned and left alone to die in this so-called 'evil' world.
I glance through the window, watching the sky as the noise in the back of the van cascades. I hear Jordan and Ares playing on their phone while screaming. Sam and Clark are discussing honeymoon places. I look at the two children playing a game on the iPad to pass the time during the drive.
Children of the Order are sacred. The community's future to continue the path as their leader. But if one child disobeys and rebels, the Saint has the day to have the child removed from the family and exiled as they are no longer part of them. It's funny how they are not killed, but it's not how Eva wants to run her cult by killing the children. She feels she no longer needs them and is considered an outcast.
That pinching feeling on my waist tells me Aunt Flow decided to visit as I put my phone away.
Why now?
"Shit," I hiss silently.
"Are you okay?" To hear Seth's voice with concern, ask me.
I feel my face heat from embarrassment, and because my period shows up, I'm enduring the cramps on my side.
"I'm fine," I tell him with a wry smile.
I squeeze my stomach and pretend to be okay, but the cramps keep kicking like a motherfucker. I will go crazy with this pain that I can feel it flowing.
Oh shit!
Luckily, Seth parked the van next to the other one, and as soon as he parked, I ran out of the van and found the nearest public restroom.
You need to think to choose which restroom to use. I used the female toilet, barged myself into an empty stall, and locked it.
I reach my backside with my hand and look at the blood stain.
"Shit!"
"Terry?"
My heart almost jumped out of me once I heard Effie's voice.
I peek out of my stall to find her standing there. "Are you okay?"
"I..." my voice trembles and my stomach aches simultaneously.
Effie pulls me in an embrace and looks over me. She gasps. "Damn, at this time."
"I know," my face flushed. "This is so embarrassing, especially in the van with Seth. I was almost caught."
"It's okay; we need to figure something out," Effie looks around but then decides to pull out her phone and make a call. "Thea, I need your help in the ladies restroom. No, I'm okay. But Terry...yeah, the time of the month. I saw a gift shop next to the museum. Can you and the girls get some clothes for Terry? Thanks."
I groan and already feel the sweat on my body. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing? It's bound to happen, especially to us females. We can't tell when Aunt Flow just gracefully shows up every month."
I wanted to laugh, but my waist hurt. The door to the restroom opened, and Thea and the girls all came with bags from the gift shop.
"Here, I bought whatever is needed," Thea places the bag down. "I also had Jordan buy pads at the nearby gas station."
"Thanks, sis," Effie digs inside the plastic bag of things. Take out whatever is in there. "Okay, here."
She hands me navy blue sweatpants with an American Eagle logo. I shouldn't be wearing sweatpants in this weather, but I shouldn't be complaining since dark colors can hide the bloodstain.
"Sorry, this restroom is closed," says Jordan, talking to some women.
"If it's closed, why are you here," asked a young girl.
"I'm here for an inspection. So why don't you and your friend go to another one? There is one over there by the museum."
"Geez, cranky old lady," said another.
"What did that little shit say to me?!" Jordan exploded and was about to attack those girls, but Thea and Lily held her back.
"Jo, they are just kids," Lily says as she restrains her.
"They called me old!"
"Even so, you shouldn't be mean to them. Aren't you a teacher? Shouldn't you be nice to children?"
"I ain't fucking Miss Honey. My students are different; they are well-behaved, unlike those rude kids. Besides, I have two of my favorites here anyway."
"You're more like a Miss Trunchbull," Thea joked as it made the girls laugh. "And don't be biased, Jo."
"Wait...umm....what about..." I pinch my lips nervously, interrupting them. "My underwear."
I can be wearing nothing underneath my pants.
"Give it to me," Claire said, and I didn't want to ask why, but I hid behind the stall door and removed my blood-stained underwear before handing it to her.
Claire went to the sink, turned on the faucet, and rubbed the stain off. She used hand soap to make it cleaner. After rinsing the blood off my underwear, she went to the hand dryer to dry.
I sat butt naked on the toilet to keep my butt off the floor and the blood dripping while waiting for my underwear to dry. Let my head hang down from embarrassment. Never have I encountered something like this regarding women's monthly menstruation.
I bent forward and held on to my stomach. These cramps are irritating me. This is so embarrassing, especially since I'm ruining our scheduled activities. They probably think I'm a burden. My whole body wants to rest, and I can't bring these people down because my period decided to come in unannounced.