BAU groupchat + Reader

By agenthotchisadilf

1.2M 33.1K 74.2K

how I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some s... More

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7.3K 223 882
By agenthotchisadilf

Baddies of the BAU

Garcia: good morning loves!

Hotch: Good morning Penelope

Derek: morning bbgurl🤤

Emily: .. see now this is why-😕😕

Y/n: good morning everyone

Hotch: Good morning Y/n :)

Derek: HUH 😨

Emily: that smiley face sus

Reid: Oh.

Y/n: now hold on bc... someone must've put smth in the water because... why hotch kinda fine ya feel😋😋

Derek: ^^ rt on that one bestie

Hotch: something in the water?

Y/n: dilf vibes ngl yeah

Emily: PLEASE???? Y/N WHAT 😭😭

JJ: am I seeing this right or...? I'm confused

Derek: threesome?🥺💖

Rossi: Derek... kiddo...

Hotch: nothing unprofessional is going on, please refrain from starting rumors like that please

Derek: please refrain from deez nuts going into yo mouth 👄 🤣 😂

Y/n: derek..😰 shut up wtf lmao

Reid: Didn't you break up with me because of the fact we work together 😕

Derek: your Nutella addiction drove them away pretty boy 🥸🥸

Emily: LMAO WHAT????

JJ: leave Spencer alone.

Hotch: Yeah^. Nothing unprofessional is going on as I just stated. Reid, ignore Derek he's a prick

Derek: damn I was tryna lighten the mood 😕 fucking white people smh okay👎🏻

Y/n: LMAOO DEREK 😭😭

Reid: Why are you and Hotch flirting?

Emily: they're not Spence

Y/n: wouldn't you like to know weather boy 🤗🤗

Derek: Y/N💀💀💀💀

Derek: hot people deserve to flirt with other hot people it's the rules 😋😱🤤🤤

Hotch: ^

Emily: DEATH PENALTY. EXECUTION.

Y/n: HOTCH PLEASE LMAO

Derek: I am once again begging for a threesome😨

Garcia: Guys we have a case :(

JJ: can't people get murdered some other day I'm so tired 🤕🤕

Emily: fr mommy ^^ say it louder

Hotch: ..Pardon?

Derek: #hotchhasamommykink

Emily: NAH THATS FOUL I HOPE HE FIRES YOU

Y/n: No wait let him speak..

Derek: he can call me mommy any day anywhere hit my line hotchy😹😹🥰

Derek: EXACTLY BESTIE Y/N. EXACTLY.

Hotch: What is wrong with you Derek? Like actually? I'm genuinely concerned.

Rossi: Derek kiddo, I think you need to step away from the phone for a bit

Emily: Y/N LMAO WHAT??? 🤨🤨

Y/n: ..

Y/n: freedom of speech.. or whatever...

Hotch: huh, the more you know

Y/n: I'm gonna jump off a cliff now ⛰ 😎

Derek: OH MY GOD 🤑🤑 OKAY PLAYA I SEE YOU SO I WAS RIGHT?

Hotch: So about that case, people are dying, we're gonna brief on the jet

JJ: "people are dying" well now..who woulda thought...

Emily: JJ LMAO 💀😭

Reid: I just bought a new book!

Garcia: that's great honey!! Is it good so far?

Derek: ^ yeah fr is it good?

Reid: Yeah! It is very interesting, and it has lots of plot twists!

Hotch: That's good, Reid

Y/n: like deez nuts

Y/n: ...

Y/n: PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE ME I REPENT I REPENT 😓😓🤧

Emily: BESTIE LMAO ILY PLEASE

Reid: Derek is a bad influence.

Derek: I mean yeah nothing new 👨🏾‍🦯😹😹🤬

Garcia: a good bad influence;)

Garcia: sorry I'll see myself out now

Emily: PENNY LMAO💃🏻💃🏻 GO OFF BAE

Hotch: Morgan what would you do if I put in mandated therapy for you lmao

Derek: One, you should mandate yourself into some therapy Mr daddy issues🤨🤨

Derek: Two, jokes on you, I'm already IN therapy 😝🥳😱😱

Derek: what would you do if I put deez nuts in yo mouth 🤤🤤

Emily: so it's clearly just not working then, might need a new therapist tbh 🤔

Hotch: I was in therapy in the past I got cleared from it unlike someone....

Y/n: derek and hotch roasting eachother era so hot rn to be honest let's all be real

Rossi: all you kiddos are something else

Emily: calling us kiddos>peeing on ppl

Derek: looks at us as his children more than his actual child😭😭 kinda sweet I love being the center of attention ❤ 😍 🥸

Rossi: I got six kiddos plus my actual kiddo ❤

Emily: nah bc he makes it hard to bully him when he says stuff like that 😔

JJ: No actually that's really sweet might cry

Y/n: ayo this serial killer wildin.....

Derek: FR WHY CHOP PEOPLE UP?? NASTY ASS FOUL CREATURE MFER HEADASS HOPE HE CHOKES 😡

Emily: scary ass motherfucker 💀 ill beat his ass for killing people

Hotch: Guys, no talking while we brief off the phones please

Y/n: Sorry sir

Hotch: It's alright, Y/n

Derek: again I am politely asking... there is a bathroom right there....

Emily: NAH SHUT UP DEREK💀😭 WHAT

Rossi: I brought cookies 🍪

JJ: our savior 🙌🏻

Reid: Oo!

Derek: I wish I could jump out of the jet while it's flying and be built different and be able to fly ya know

Hotch: ...

Hotch: psych eval time ! ☺👍🏻

Emily: 😭😭








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