GOOD·BYE:
/ɡo͝odˈbī/
used to express good wishes when parting or at the end of a conversation.
The wind blows my hair softly causing a few strands to cover my face. I gently push the misplaced strands behind my ear. As I watch the clouds slowly move up in the blue sky the sun is out shining ever so bright birds flying over the trees and I just continue staring at the view in front of me. So many days have passed. Where did the days go? I wonder.
In two weeks we won't be high school students anymore. It is already June and where the hell did all the time go. It's funny how six months passed in a flash. How much I learned about my friends and how new friendships were formed like with me and Ryan and him with the rest of the girls along with the pending friendship with Zeke.
Brooke disappeared off of the face of the earth. After we got back from Colorado Jacob said all her things weren't at his house anymore and when schools opened she didn't come back to school. Rumors spread across the school about how she had been scouted as a catalogue model and moved to somewhere in South America, specifically Brazil or was it Columbia I am not sure. No one really knows, not even her closest confidants Olivia and Gwyneth. Both of them stopped talking after she left. They spent the rest of their senior year as nobodies. No one paid attention to them; occasionally I would see them just walking aimlessly in the hallway, with a few other superficial friends they made separately. It was sad as I would occasionally see them mimic Brooke how talked, how she acted, dressed even how she made meaningless relationships. It was like what she taught them had been embedded into their psyche and now they didn't know how to act without her. How pitiful it was to see them try to navigate how to think for themselves but ultimately make the same decisions she would have. It's like they couldn't think for themselves.
Maybe they missed her and maybe their friendship was deeper than they thought it was, perhaps they meant more to each other than they thought. Because I cannot say they didn't seem hurt if someone ever questioned the whereabouts of their friend yet neither of them could answer.
I wonder where she went. Did she truly go off somewhere and did she manage to escape her mother? Was she happy? Did she regret all the things she did, the way she lived? Considering how she treated me and pushed me to near death I shouldn't even care whether she is dead or alive but I can't help but wonder. It's not that I pity her nor do I wish for her sins to go unpaid for I can't even say I forgive her or I don't hate her but wishing illness upon her is something I refuse to do. For I will never let myself become her. Wherever she is I hope she can forgive herself and try to atone for sins.
Cameron Carter on the other hand couldn't bear the thought of losing her. He went on a rampage when he realized she had left without a word but this time he didn't have Jacob to keep him level headed. Or Zeke to tell him it was time to let her go or even Ryan to stop him from drowning from the thought of losing her. He was alone.
I don't know if he ever truly loved her or if it was just a borderline obsession either way after knowing she had left and he couldn't get a hold of her he went into a spiral he was even more obnoxious than usual he got arrested a few times for drinking and driving. Eventually he got expelled from school after sexually assaulting a sophomore who had forest green eyes, red hair and deep dimples she resembled Brooke in a way. I guess he was infatuated by it and thought he didn't need her as long as someone looked like her he would be fine. He had been rejected multiple times and until he snapped and did the unthinkable. His love for her wasn't real, he just wanted someone or rather something that made feel important. Perhaps he had gone hysterical after all his friends had left him and when the girl he thought loved left he just lost it. Maybe Brooke didn't just escape her mother but she managed to escape him too.
His parents had had enough of him and couldn't just sweep this one under the rug since his stories kept piling up. The case is still ongoing because the girl is pressing charges, he truly has dragged his family name through the mud. He seems to be facing serious consequences and not even his very influential parents can get him out of this.
But other than those two leaving our lives at school wasn't bad I even enjoyed going to school meeting up with Jazz, Vic, Mia and Kate kept it interesting. I found out parts of me I never knew existed and I did it all with the boy I love. So why am I not looking back at my school year with happiness but rather sadness?
Is it because I had finally found a place I belong to with the people that matter to me and now that we are graduating I feel like I would have to start all over again without them? All of them know what their next step is going to be and yet I'm still stuck here at Garfield Prep trying to hold on to the rope that seemed to slip away faster than I can grab it.
"Hey there." I peel my eyes from the scenery that I have been aimlessly staring at for a while and look at Jazz who is standing next to me.
"Hey." I softly say with a small smile on my face, her eyes say it all she knows something is wrong but she looks at the view I have been staring at.
"Man, I'm gonna miss this view of our school." She said.
"Tell me about it." I say as I rest my chin in the palm of my hand leaning against the ledge. We stand there in silence for minutes, nothing but the soft wind blowing and students chattering in the background.
"So are you going to tell me? Or do I have to ask." I turn my head towards my orange haired friend but she stares straight ahead not once turning her head towards me.
"Do you remember the first day we met?" I asked.
"Of course we bitched about Brooke for almost an hour straight." She answered.
"Yeah we didn't we. Do you ever think about where she is now? Or how she ended up?"
"Yeah, I hope she lying dead in a ditch somewhere." I turned my head and stared at her in horror.
"Oh my, I'm kidding." She began laughing. "You should see the look on your face." I laughed and laughed at her dark humor.
"But seriously I try not to think about her, she made my life miserable yours too. Why would I even waste a thought on her?"
"I don't know, you are right, maybe it's better to forget about her."
"That can't be what's bothering you. Is it because Jacob is leaving?"
There it was the core source of all my panic and sadness. My silence was all it took for her to know what was really going on with me.
"You know you can visit him right or he could come to see you. It's not like y'all are breaking up."
"I know." Was all I said, all she was saying were words I had told myself over and over again. I already knew it wasn't the end but I can't stop the sense of panic I'm feeling.
"I've lived without him for so long I should be ok with him being across the continent right?"
"Ellie that's not what I-."
"I know I'm sorry I didn't mean to take it out on you, it's just that I'm scared Jazz. Not only because he is moving to Italy but after the break you will be going to Columbia, Vic is going to study in Mexico so will that she could be closer to her family. Mia is pursuing design and decided to use Zimbabwe as her inspiration for her fashion designs before going to college and Kate wants to be a photographer so she is going with Mia that way she will be practicing how to take pictures on her sisters designs. And then there is me and well I'm stuck. I don't want to go to college. I don't know what I would want to study, I don't particularly have a passion for anything and with my grades I could probably get into a good school but then what? Pursue something I don't love? I've just started getting to know myself better with all of you guys but it seems all of you have your affairs in order while I remain steps behind everyone else."
"Pretty bold of you to assume that none of us are scared shitless." She calmly replied.
"Can't really speak for the others but at least I know that I am. Probably not for the same reasons but I'm scared nonetheless. You know I start my internship in three works with those insufferable, misogynistic old hags."
Since Luke never was interested in the family business his father never cared for it because he had decided earlier on. He decided Jazz would be his heir. Now this summer she was starting out as an intern to learn the ins and outs of the business even before she went to Columbia. I was proud of her because she had managed to get into her dream school to study as a major in business.
"You know, last week I overheard my father arguing on the phone. The board members are very skeptical of not only putting me as the new chairwoman since he already has a young capable 'first son' to be his successor. I mean I knew that from the beginning, the misogyny is almost insufferable but this time since they've realized they are preaching to deaf ears about the gender of his successor they've tried a new approach. That I'm mentally unfit."
She scoffed but no humor was behind it.
"Can you imagine that? Bringing up my mental health issues feels a bit of a low blow even if it's coming from those assholes. I believe the exact words were ' We are skeptical of putting a mentally unstable girl in this position' . What? Cause I've been admitted to a mental hospital because of a betrayal from a friend I held dear. I'm unfit. But Luke can go dirt bike riding for years, be on front cover pages of magazines passed out from drugs and alcohol, be labeled as a playboy rookie who lives on the edge but he shows promise?"
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I asked.
"Like I would bring more misfortune in your life you've been moping around for a month straight.."
"No I haven't, and you know I'm always here for you Jazz."
"You so have." She laughed. "Oh don't get all sappy on me I'm fine. My point is I'm going into that office grabbing the bull by its balls first to remind those assholes of reality. So you do have to do the same. He loves you. I still don't like him but even I can tell that much. You will be fine. We will all miss you but life goes on and hopefully we all keep touch and still be friends, but don't waste time wallowing when you can spend time with us now."
"Just thinking about how enviably I'm going to be their boss in a shorter time than they anticipated. And the joy I shall feel when I fire each and every one of those old farts."
That's my girl I thought as I looked at her eyes sparkled from the thought of telling them to go to hell.
"Or maybe I let them work diminishing jobs, grunt work, kick them off their high horses to remind them of whose blood is in my veins." We both laughed at her evil plan to get back at the board members of the Wrights corporation.
"Are you better now?" She questioned me as soon as our laughter died down.
"Much. By the way how is Luke?" I hadn't spoken to him since a week after his confession. We had decided it's best if we don't speak for a while since he was in love with me and I was in love with Jacob. But a few months after that I read somewhere that he had quit right in the peak of his career no one knew why no injuries were reported and since Jazz never spoke about it I never asked. Had he explained it to her the way he did to me that it wasn't his fault that he felt like he failed her as an older brother. Had he managed to try to mend their relationship.
"He's a jobless twenty one year old who does nothing but mooch off of his parents' money. It's different having to see him more since he doesn't just up and leave whenever he feels like it."
"A good different or a bad one?" I questioned Jazz prying things out of her was sometimes the answer since she wasn't really good with opening up with others.
"I don't know, mum is happier that she gets to see more of him. She hadn't been able to do that for over 7 years. Caleb's happy too since he didn't know much about his older brother finally getting what he always wanted." There was a hint of sadness behind her words. She obviously wasn't only talking about Caleb she was talking about herself too. Had she missed him just as much if not more? She may act like she doesn't care, as if she hates him. Maybe she was more angry at the fact she had lost her older brother than the betrayal of that wicked girl she thought was her friend.
"What about you? Are you happy too?"
"I don't know, I spent a large part of the past seven years angry with him. I hated him Ellie and all he wanted to do was protect me from her. How am I supposed to face him now? I mean it's his stupid fault for not saying anything he misled me and my anger."
"That's because he loves and he wanted to protect you, his actions might have been drastic and he lied but he did what he did what thought would make you happy. Hating him rather than letting you think the only friend you had was lying to you."
"I know I just wish he had told me. But anyway to answer your question I don't dislike having him around so much, he is still annoying as hell though."
We both laughed and he warmed my heart that the two of them were working on their relationship and I was happy that he finally told her the truth about the whole incident. I also was glad that he had decided to quit so he could spend time with his family.
"What are you two laughing about?" Kate asked, we both turned to see Vic and Mia besides her walking towards us.
"About how annoying my brother is."
"Oh so we are talking about him again?" Vic questioned.
"I guess so." Jazz shrugged.
"Ellie told me he was so hot, so when are we gonna meet him?"
"Kathrine." Both Mia and I shouted.
"Mmmmm, and with that comment ladies none of you are ever meeting the devils spawn. Well actually I guess I can't call him that anymore since he makes me star shaped pancakes every morning."
"He's hot and he cooks, fuck I'm marrying him." Kate said.
"Hell no you are not marrying my brother and can we honestly talk about literally anything else."
"It's not fair, Ellie has the man of her dreams and I didn't see anyone try to cockblock her when she was getting with him. She's basically married to him at this point. Now Vic you blush every time the mysterious Spanish boy you met last time you visited your family texts. I know we all agreed to act like we don't know till she tells us but come on you are gonna be wifed too. Good for you, by the way love that you are getting some even if it's virtual action." Kate winked at Vic causing her to blush probably embarrassed cause we all already knew about her secret not so secret boyfriend.
"Moving on to my sister who still has a stick up her ass since the day she came out of the womb so for obvious reasons no one wants to be up in all of that-."
"Fuck you Kate."
"Your bitterness rather I should say bitchiness proves my point Mia." Mia rolls her eyes whilst kissing her teeth and chooses to not engage her twin any further meanwhile Kate continues talking.
"All I'm saying Jazz is everyone is either wifed, about to be a wifed minus Mia of course so I don't see why you are cockblocking me here babes. I could be your potential sister in law, aren't I good enough to be your sister in law? Trust me your brother needs some chocolate in his life we could make the perfect vanilla, chocolate swirl."
"No matter much you grovel you aren't fucking my brother."
"Whoa turn it down a notch, I'm just tryna meet the guy not jump his bones. So is it something else, am I not pretty enough for him? Or he doesn't date black girls or maybe I'm just good enough for him."
"Girl please, you are embodiment of perfection, badass and fucking hot and your melanin makes you tens times more attractive if anything you are too good for him." Jazz caused Kate to flash a smile big enough that it was almost touching her ears. "But seriously no, I'm not introducing you to evil spawn, well semi-evil spawn."
"Fine, you want me to talk about literally anything else other than Luke right?"
"Abso-fuckin-lutely." Jazz let out a big sigh of relief probably because she was happy late was finally moving on to a topic that didn't include Luke.
"Fine then how about you tell us about what's going on between you and Zeke."
Unlike me Jazz is a master of masking her true feelings she has a poker face one that is as tight as an impenetrable fence. But one mention of Zeke's name and she had almost lost her cool.
"You are bitch." Mia said as she shook her head.
"I don't know what you are talking about" Jazz said, totally unbothered.
"Well you giggling at his jokes says the total opposite of that." Jazz head snapped towards me and I widened my eyes as I looked away from her and at Kate.
"Are you serious Ellie you told them?"
"Get over yourself. It was months ago and just like how I failed miserably at hiding my relationship with Christian what makes you think we didn't crack the code without her." Vic voiced. She was referring to the party we threw last year, the one where Jacob beat the living crap out of Cameron and how we trashed my parents house only for them to see the after effects the next morning. Jazz was still staring at me and I was cracking under the intensity of her gaze.
"So mysterious Mexican lover boy has a name, Christian." Mia says, referring to Vic's boyfriend.
"Cute love it." Kate chimes in.
"Ellie so you go around telling people my business now?"Jazz said in a tone that said I am not very happy with you as she completely ignored the revelation of Vic's boyfriends name.
"I remember you telling them about catching me and Jacob in the bathroom kissing without my permission spitefully might I add." She froze at the revelation and slowly began to nod her head.
"Touché." She said with a small smile on her face.
"Si tan desordenada." Vic said in Spanish under her breath but it was loud enough that everyone heard and I nodded in response. This was indeed very messy. She tended to do that at times, reverting back to her mother language since all of us had taken a Spanish class at some point it wasn't hard to understand her although most of us weren't fluent, some words we could pick up on .
"Don't take it personally. I didn't do it for revenge, they already had their suspicions ever since you mentioned that the both of you go for meetings together."
After realizing that going for an internship at her father's company with a board of directors who clearly didn't think she was up for the job. She had increased her mental health support group sessions from once a week to three times a week. Her therapist knew she was fine, so did her parents and partly so did she but she has always had this it's better safe than sorry mentally. Hence why she had increased the number of days she was attending meetings so she too would be able to believe in herself as everyone else did.
As fate had it a few weeks bac, Zeke joined the group, it was a shock for both of them mostly to Jazz that Zeke suffered from a bipolar disorder. Of course their first instinct when they saw each other was act like they didn't know each other. But after the session he approached her to ask if she could forget that she ever saw him and that he wouldn't come back. Jazz had no problem with it but went off on him on how he rather miss out on treating his illness because he was too much of a scaredy-cat that she would tell people at school of his illness. Of course she didn't care since she had her own problems and the choice whether he was willing to throw that away over some gossip was up to him. I could only imagine how he felt when she told him off. But Jazz informed that he continued to attend meetings after that. She was surprised that I already knew about his illness and didn't say anything but I figured it was none of my business since how I found out was because Jacob was so angry he called out all his friends' weaknesses, troubles and struggles. She wasn't mad at me for long because I knew I had to respect them and not spread rumors. They had been civil with each other barely talked yet they probably knew more of each other than most. Sometimes I didn't know what goes on inside Jazz's mind I truly believe the only place she allows herself to be vulnerable is in that support group because she had no relationship with the people in there she spills her guts out they help and she doesn't have to deal with them for the rest of the week or be afraid they would look at her different because each of them had their own struggles. Including the comedic pretty boy of Garfield Prep Zeke Miller himself.
"Look guys nothing is going on. We meet at the group and barely talk and I only hear him talk when it's his turn around the circle. No personal relationship and I would like to keep it that way, besides everything I know about him is against my will."
"Oh come on loosen up a bit both of you will still be seeing more of each other for the next four years." Vic said while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"A classic college sweethearts story, can't wait to tell my godbabies about it." Kate squealed.
Unlike any of us, Zeke and Jazz were both set out to be starting at Columbia this fall, a fact that caused Jazz to be pissed for two weeks straight. Complaining about how she got stuck with learning with Zeke once again. She quickly got over it as she was sure he would flunk half a semester in and drop out so she wasn't worried.
"Don't make me laugh Kate and there will be no godbabies for you. Besides it's a massive school I probably won't even see him."
"Have you met Zeke? He attracts attention like a moth being drawn to light, the humor, sarcasm, the charm, the body gosh I could go on but believe me Jazz you will be seeing more of him than you would like." Mia pointed out, causing all of us to silently agree with her.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes as she called all of us delusional claiming she could easily get rid of him.
"Has he spoken to Ryan or Jacob yet? Maybe I could ship him off with your boyfriend to Italy."
"Yes he has, how did you know about that?" I looked at her suspiciously. Ever since their big fight Ryan and Jacob hung out, Carter on his own before he got arrested and Zeke was alone too. But he had approached both Zeke and Ryan; they talked all three of them were back to being inseparable again. I guess the toxic element of their relationship had resided in Cameron because they all seemed very happy like they were all genuinely brothers again.
"How did you know he was planning to talk to them?" I questioned again.
"Support group Ellie people usually talk crap out before doing it, I didn't think he genuinely had the balls for it. I thought he would bail since it took him this long to actually do it. Anyway that's not the point, point is they are all chummy with each other again so that means baby giraffe can take the big dumb circus monkey with him to Italy right?"
"What is your deal anyway, why do you hate him?" Vic asked a question that had been lingering on all our minds. Since Jazz found out she's been adamant on making sure he doesn't go to Columbia and since approaching the end of our school year she's been on the edge about it.
"I don't hate him." She angrily replied, that's it for today we couldn't pry more out of her or would crack.
"Hate who?" Ryan asked as he joined the circle that kept getting bigger. His arms wrapped around Mia's shoulder as he lowered himself to her height so she could fill him in on what we had been discussing.
"None of your business Goldilocks." Jazz snapped at Ryan causing him to make a face.
"You stop calling me that. Where do you go off calling me names." Ever since the gang had been closer Jazz had decided to call Ryan Goldilocks because of his extremely curly brown almost honey-gold hair.
"Does not beat baby giraffe." That tone, I could recognize it from a mile away. I didn't even have to turn my head to know who it was. And within seconds his arms wrapped around my waist he pulled towards him as he placed his chin on the top of my head and my body instantly relaxed as I sunk into the comfort of his embrace. He placed a kiss on my temple causing me to feel at ease.
"As much as I would like to take credit for that one, the esteemed Dr. Ocean Pricce came up with that she gave me the privilege to use it in her absence." I will always regret the day I introduced Jazz to Ocean . I should have known better because the two had become inseparable.
"I would take baby giraffe or Goldilocks any-day over big dumb circus monkey." We all turned our heads to face Zeke whose face had a huge toothy smile causing his dimples to be on display. I always tease telling him that they are so deep I could probably place a penny in them and it would sink in.
"Fantastic, Why don't we all find a big talking dog and a van to solve fucking mysteries since gang's all here." The sarcasm wasn't hard to miss as she referenced us to Scooby-Doo and the Gang.
"Tone down the excitement will you, Pixie cut?" Jazzs eyes snap towards Jacob causing him to chuckle I didn't have to look at him to know he was definitely taunting her with a smirk. I wouldn't go as far as saying Jazz had completely warmed up to Jacob but they liked each other well enough to sit in a room together and not claw each other's eyes out. They have some liking for each other even though they would never admit to that in broad daylight. That much I knew because whenever they were together they'd bicker like siblings over who deserves my love the most. Jazz usually won the fight but ever since Zeke came to the mix Jacob had figured the one person that ticks her off more than anyone else and had been using it to his advantage since his discovery he has been on a winning streak.
"The esteemed Jacob Knight came up with that one and he didn't just grant the privilege to use it in his absence but his presence as well." Zeke continued pressing Jazz's button and she sneered at his comment. But before their banter could continue the bell rang.
"Oh saved by the bell, literally." Vic muttered causing everyone to silently agree.
"Don't call me pixie cut." Jazz put on her most intimidating stare but Zeke didn't seem phased.
"Don't call me a big circus monkey." They stared at each other while Zeke seemed to be enjoying their little exchange. Jazz looked like she was about to punch him in the face. Everyone began to walk back into the building with Zeke and Jazz bickering while Ryan whispered something to Mia causing her to giggle. Vic had opened her phone probably talking to her mysterious Spanish boyfriend because she was blushing as she stared at the screen. Kate was busy trying to trip her sister causing a disagreement between the sisters and causing Ryan to act as the buffer between them. Jacob had moved from behind me and was now walking beside me with his hand draped over my shoulder and my fingers were interlocked with his hand. He lowered himself towards my ear.
"Who were you guys talking about before we walked towards you guys."
"It was Zeke right?"
"You are such terrible gossip and you are nosey." Even though he denies it Jacob was indeed a gossip he tries to act nonchalant about everything but every time I have a Group FaceTime with the girls he waits exactly five minutes before asking me if anything 'interesting' was discussed.
"I am not." He held his free hand over his heart in pretense of being hurt.
"You so are and if I don't tell you. You start being sulky. And I'm a great secret keeper but you are making me a terrible secret keeper Jacob."
"You are a horrendous secret keeper." I gasped at his remark.
"How dare you!"
"You I'm right might well me so you can take it off your chest other than telling someone else right? Now, was it Zeke or not?" He pressed, causing me to shake my head at his persistence.
"You continue being a terrible gossip like this. I'm walking around telling people you are my girlfriend."
"What are you gonna do? Go to the store and buy me a maxi pad."
"Might as well since you seem to be the nosey housewife of the year." I laughed and so did he.
"You are an asshole." He expressed, causing me to roll my eyes.
"Oh, come on don't get your big girl panties in a twist." I continued mocking him but before he could answer I continued.
"But..... yea just to subside the inner housewife in you. Yes we were talking about Zeke."
"Could've delivered the news without the extra mockery, some girlfriend you are."
"You called me an asshole, some boyfriend you are." I nudged his rib cage causing him to wince in fake pain, we did this all the time teasing each other and I don't know when or how but over time we had developed a friendship. Of course he did all the dreamy boyfriend stuff like how he got along with all my friends including the very difficult Jasmine Wright and buying me flowers every fortnight even went the extra mile and bought all my sister and my mum flowers for valentines. But what made me fall in love with him even more was the fact that he got me and I got him. Our humor was sync. We made fun of each other, usually fighting over silly things like how I leave candy wrapping everywhere in his car, his art studio or his room. He never knows how to properly turn the TV off because something is always messed up after he holds the tv controller and it gets on my nerves. He teaches me how to paint even though I suck and he makes fun of my horrible art but always kisses my forehead to soften the blow. I used to teach him how to play the guitar from time to time but I dropped it because he was becoming way too good. In fact he might have been even better than me. All these things I got to know about him made me fall madly in love with him even more than before and even the things I hated about him I still loved.
Which is why I feel a pain in my chest every time I laugh with him like this knowing very well it won't be long before he leaves to go live in a whole new country scratch that a whole new continent even.
"What's wrong? Are you thinking of ways to leave me now that I might have an inner nosey housewife alter ego named Janet?" A shook my head shrugging off the sadness I felt due to his soon to be departure.
"Jacob or Janet, all of you belong to me." And with that I faced him and raised my face with puckered lips and he leaned in and gave me a kiss as he chuckled.
"Are you coming with me to the airport? To go pick up Ocean later?" He said changing the topic we had been discussing and I shook my head.
"No, the girls and I are going to Mike Millie's after school so I'm afraid you have Dr. Pricce all to yourself. Will be able to handle that or would you want me to hold your hand through it all."
"I will be fine on my own, thank you very much."
It never ceases to amaze me how close Jacob had become to my family these past months. My parents fell in love with me since Christmas, asking for him to join every family gathering they had, even the Friday night dinners we have just to know how everyone's doing he was to be present to those as well. My dad and him seem to be the closest he is like the son her never had or whatever I remember during Easter we went to Spain they spent the entire weekend fishing talking about who knows what and I'm pretty sure daddy let him have a beer or two out in the water a fact my mother wasn't too very fond of as she is very protective of Jacob. He drives my mother, Summer and Ocean to shopping sprees during the weekend and doesn't mind being their mannequin when they want to buy gifts for their boyfriends. I keep telling him he can say no to them but says he doesn't mind. It seems it's very difficult to say no when it comes to Pricce women.
He has recently joined a cooking class with my mum which I find to be ridiculous but they seem to be happier every time they come from one. Deja however gave him the hardest time and it wasn't easy to warm up to him at all but it seemed they are the closest because even though she teases him and borderline bullies him they seem to understand each other. I asked him once why he tells Deja to stop or rather why never says anything he relayed saying out of my sisters she reminds him more of his own older sister Thalia as she had the same sass Deja had. A fact Deja knew which was she never changed she once said "why should I stop it's fun teasing baby giraffe besides Summer and Ocean baby him all the time the least I could is knock him or the pedestal once in a while." He is like a puzzle piece no one knew was missing yet he fits so well when it comes to my family. He speaks when only spoken to even though my family is loud he never denies trying my mothers many cookie recipes and he had all my sisters swooning over him well besides Deja of course. He has this charm it seems when it comes to Pricce women. They seemed more devastated than I am now that he is leaving even though he promised to visit.
After Christmas he told me he had a revelation that I was his everything his entire world and didn't want that. Putting the weight of his world on my shoulders even though I repeatedly told him it was fine he wasn't ok with it. He did not want me to be his entire reason for living and existence because he was afraid it would drown me along with him. He had no family, he had no one besides a father who didn't care enough to even look at him for more than 10 seconds. So needed more answers and instead of running away from finding out more about his mother he began to reread her journals. While going to more therapy sessions and he loved the way she talked about her motherland and how Italy was a sight for sore eyes, she loved it and even though her entire identity she left it behind for the man she loved.
Jacob said she gave up so much of herself for him like she always wanted to raise her kids in the same soil she grew up in but didn't because of his father. It made him angry and sad to know how much his father took from his mother. But by reading he learned that his mother had a younger sister Cecilia. And when he found her and spoke to her in hopes to learn more about his mother, it turns out his father had threatened her so she wouldn't come anywhere near him after his mothers death saying he was his son and wanted her nowhere near Jacob. I believe his father was grieving and maybe a reminder of his wife was too much for him to bear but Jacob said it was because he wanted him to grow up with a hazy memory of his mother and wanted Jacob to suffer not knowing what kind of a person she was. Either way he both agree he was wrong but what's to add one more thing to his long list of offenses. But now Jacob got a chance to reconnect with his aunt Cecilia and he now he had family and the joy he found when he learned of her existence was beyond none other. But the more he spoke to her the more he wanted to learn more of her and his mother since she knew Rebecca probably more than most people did. After hearing stories of his mother, rather than just reading them made him feel closer to her. He grew curious by the day till one day he told me he wanted to be closer to his mothers roots and he wanted to leave and stay in Italy like she always wanted. He didn't just want to visit his aunt, he wanted all the joy of roaming the streets of Rome free of this curse his father seemed to have around his neck. He loved me and I him. So I knew even though I wanted him to stay it would be of selfish intent and this made him happy and it was helping him heal properly this time and help him really grieve his family. I have to let him do this even though I want to hold his hand through it all. Somethings he has to do on his own. Besides what's a little distance we had overcome so many obstacles together and apart we will be fine.
I removed his arm from around my neck and I held it tightly. He looked at me with lifted eyebrows but I ignored him and leaned my head on his chest and took a deep breath. I know we will be ok.
"Are you sure you are fine?"
"Never been better." I said back as we walked down the halls of Garfield Prep.
***
I sat by the staircase leading towards Jacobs old home as I watched him struggle to put the last of his suitcase into the trunk of his Range Rover. His phone rang and he cursed as another bag fell to the floor causing me to laugh and him to give me a disapproving stare. My hands quickly shot up in defense. He threw the bag that he was forcing to fit onto the floor next to the one that had fallen out as he frustratedly answered the caller.
"Ciao, Cecilia." My head shot up and a wide grin spread across my face as I mouthed "it's Cecilia let me talk to her."
"Sì, è qui che è fastidiosa come sempre." I gasped as I had partly understood what he had said. Had he just told his aunt that I was annoying him, that jackass. Since I was dating a half Italian boy I took it upon myself to learn the language. I figured it would be great practice since I was going there myself in 8 weeks.
Three weeks went by real fast. We graduated just as quickly as senior year started and before I knew it Jacobs departure date had arrived his very excited aunt had been calling nonstop. That woman who was a saint she had no idea what she was in for with this nephew of hers. I continued watching him as he continued to speak to her in Italian. He was the boy I loved. I was trying my hardest to drink up as much of him as I could.
"Sì, chiamerò quando atterrerò. Ora lasciami fare le valigie, dica a Marcèl da parte mia." I hadn't completely grasped the sentence but he was talking about Marcèl, Cecilia's husband. He nodded to whatever she had said next. Jacobs eyes landed on me and he kept them on me as he answered her next question
"Sì, I will deliver your message to her word for word. Now, addio." With that the call was cut.
"Well she said she can't wait to see you 8 weeks from now, honestly I think she's more excited to meet you than she is me."
"Of course she is. I'm the more likable one between us and you know it." He rolled his eyes and he muttered "yeah, yeah" as he slid his phone into his back pocket and picked up the bags he had left on the pavement.
Most of his stuff had already been off a week before most of his art supplies and most of his mother's belongings, Thalias and Lincoln's too. I had to convince him for two hours straight to even tell his father that he was planning on leaving the continent. Of course Eric didn't pick up and he left him a mechanical message saying he was leaving. He convinced me that the maids and butlers would have told him even if Jacob hadn't and he would probably respond quicker to their messages than his own. But it seemed Eric didn't even care because the help should have alerted him by now but he hadn't said anything. Which didn't seem to phase Jacob. He said as soon as he steps into the plane everything relating to Eric is staying behind including the bad memories he had given him.
He finally managed to squeeze in the two bags and close the car. He dusted off his hands and looked at me.
"See I told you I would get it done."
"Yeah nine hours later, should have let me help." He walked towards me.
"Oh come on you are meant to sit there and look pretty, Lily would agree with me, what would she say to me working her daughter to the bone?"
"Of course my mother would agree with you but I'm not a princess. I can get my hands dirty once in a while, but you wouldn't want to piss her off anymore; she's just got over anger ."
"No I wouldn't." My mother was devastated when she found out that Jacob was moving to Italy. She went through all five stages of grief and is currently working on acceptance. I stood up and walked towards Jacob.
"I haven't even started in my 5 stages, you should be more worried about what I might do to you."
"But baby it's just 8 weeks" after he decided to leave I told him I was gonna come but only after giving him time to settle in and get to know Cecilia and Marcèl more before I visited.
"8 weeks you say it like it's 8 minutes." I stepped into his embrace and I inhaled his scent as he wrapped his strong hands around me.
"That's eight weeks without you, the love of my life, my sugarbunch, my everything, my forever, oh how could I ever survive that long." I joked trying to hold back the tears, this wasn't goodbye but it sure felt like it.
"Shut up." He placed his chin on the top of my neck.
"Oh but pumpkin pie don't be like that." He shook his head and chuckled but there was something sad about it.
"I will look for all the best bakeries so that when you come I will take you to all of them." I hummed in response as I closed my eyes and just held on to him, trying to picture us eating delicious delights in Rome together.
Each phase of living has forms of arrival and leaving. If we are lucky enough for these to remain in the realm of the symbolic, then we can remain with those we love and build a secure life that feels safe and dependable. For some, however, as fate would have it, these things are literal. There are times we literally have to leave and move on, alone. I've been doing exactly that since childhood but him, Jacob Christopher Lincoln Knight. He changed that for me I was so used to being alone that if this was me a year ago I would have thought the worst. That he was leaving for good but he wasn't. I was going to be able to hold him just as I am right now in 8 weeks. It has been nice to stop, feeling alone. It's been nice to feel a sense of being somewhere, with someone. That has been great.
We where both very different people fighting different battles of depression, loneliness, suicide and anger and so much more but nothing that has been broken cannot be fixed because look at us we are still mending each other bit by bit we are getting there.
"Ti voglio bene." He said breaking my train of thought.
"4 love you's." I said in response, he pulled away from me forcing me to look at him with tear filled eyes. And his hands held my checks, wiping my tears away.
"Baby." He whispered, before leaning in and I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into my lips and we kissed. His hands wrapped around my waist and hugged me as he lifted me up. This was it for me, life cannot possibly give me anymore than this because this is it for me he is it for me had to be because the joy I feel right now has to be it.
Sounds of car horns being forcefully hooted forced us to pull away from each other as we turned to see Zekes lime green Ashton Martin music loud and all windows rolled down with Jazz sitting beside the seemingly reckless driver behind it was Ryan's monster truck along with Kate and Mia and Vic standing with half their bodies out the sunroof as they shouted something we couldn't quite make out.
"Well there's a proper send off." I said as he continued to wrap his hands around me and refused to put me down but I continued to move and he finally put me down but wouldn't budge he continued to hold me.
"The entourage befitting for me don't you think?"
"Don't get all big headed on me." I rolled my eyes as I snuggled closer.
"I wouldn't dare."
We both stared at our idiotic friends who seemed to be having the time of their lives.
~Fin~
I wanna start by thank each and everyone one of you who has been with me for this journey. My best friend Nicole and my sisters Barbara and Joanna for hearing me read my drafts out loud. My aunt Venencia for believing in me and my mum for encouraging me throughout all of this. But my biggest thanks is for my readers because without you I wouldn't have been able to continue this story. The comments of encouragement where more than you can imagine I took way to long to finish this because I wasn't sure of how to end it lol I wanted it to be a sad ending but after making majority of the story sad I decided against it but now that it's done I'm glad I hope you all love it as much as I do. Although I feel as if their journey isn't over which is why I'm bringing side stories and an epilogue for the book. The side stories will include Jazz and Zekes escapades in Columbia and Deja (my favorite Pricce sister) and her mystery lover I might even turn their story into a short book depending on how I'm feeling about it so I hope you aren't sad because this isn't the end of Heaven- Ellie and Jacobs story I am planning on writing an epilogue of their life as they are grown ups. So look forward to that.
But for now this is it I hope you all enjoy please don't forget the to vote and comment and share.
love you all
Nessa ❤️❤️❤️