The hospital building was tall, square, and terrifying. The mere sight of the wide glass doors--opening and closing like the wide jaws of a terrifying dragon--made Robin shudder. They brought back hidden memories of him walking through those very doors many years ago, when his mom brought him to every hospital in the province to figure out his mysterious illness, or as he now knew, to use him in her nefarious games for attention and control.
But Robin wasn't at the hospital with his mother this time. He wasn't here to get poked and prodded with needles. He was here to support his boyfriend. And that task trumped the fear that told him to run far away to escape those doors.
"Are you nervous?" Robin asked, holding the car door open while Tyler climbed out. Aunt Donna, who had driven them there and would also come inside to support her nephew, had gone to figure out the parking meter. Unfortunately, Tyler's cousin Lance was working, so he wasn't able to join them at the hospital.
Tyler shook his head in reply--which made curls rustle against the crinkly fabric of his jacket collar--but he couldn't hide the jittery energy in his body. His fingers strummed the roof of the car while he waited for Robin to fetch his crutches in the trunk. "Mostly eager." He took the metal appendages that were handed to him. "I might not need these after today. Not all the time at least. If everything... works out."
"I'm sure it will," Robin assured his boyfriend and caught a shaking hand. Restless fingers fiddled across his palm. Despite what he may claim, Tyler undoubtedly was nervous. Robin leaned in close for a discreet kiss, which hopefully would soothe frayed nerves a bit.
"Come on boys!" Aunt Donna encouraged them as she came walking quickly across the parking lot. "We don't want to be late!"
The smell of the hospital--sterilized surfaces and unappetizing hospital food-- hit Robin as they approached. It made Robin's head spin but he was determined to not get caught up in his terrifying memories. This was about Tyler, not about him. Tyler needed him.
After walking through miles of bare hallways and twiddling their thumbs for half an eternity in the waiting room, Robin found himself sitting in a room that didn't look like any hospital room he'd been to before--it looked more like a gym since it was filled with training equipment for people recovering from injuries--which he was grateful for since it meant that this sweet memory wouldn't get muddled with bitter memories from his past.
Robin looked on with keen interest while Julia, the prosthetic technician, instructed Tyler on the proper usage of the prosthetic leg. Knowing how impatient Tyler could be, it would probably be good if Robin remembered the details as well and could help him with it. Otherwise, there was a risk the leg would end up backward, or even upside down.
"Let's start with putting the sleeve on," Julia told Tyler. She held up a sock-like silicon contraption, that was supposed to go on Tyler's residual leg. "Could you move your shorts out of the way, Tyler?"
Hesitantly, Tyler released his grip on Robin's hand, which he'd been holding tightly since they entered the hospital. He used his now free hands to pull up his long red basketball shorts--which he'd changed into right before the fitting, as the Canadian November weather made short inadvisable to wear outside--far enough to reveal his left knee.
"Can you roll them up a bit more?" Julia asked gently, letting Tyler move at his own speed. Which was a very slow speed at the moment, as he rolled the shorts up at the most another inch.
Robin patted Tyler's other knee to assure him that everything was alright. "I think you need to roll them further," he whispered. "I can turn away if you want me to." He was aware that Tyler was very cautious about anyone seeing the lingering scars from his injury.
"It's fine, Robby." Tyler put his hand on Robin's and lifted it for a quick kiss on the back. Then, with a sigh, he released the hand and firmly gripped the hem of his shorts. This time, he rolled the fabric almost to his groin, revealing a pattern of red and pink scars. After Tyler released the grip of the nylon, Robin quickly found his boyfriend's hand again.
Tyler's hand squeezed Robin's so tightly that it hurt. But Robin didn't complain about it. Because if squeezing Robin's hand that tightly was what Tyler needed, then Robin was happy to take the pain.
"Thank you, Tyler," Julia said and smiled encouragingly. "Now, let me show you how to get this on. First, you turn it inside out." She put her hand into the sleeve and pulled the inside outward. "Then you put the end onto your residual leg." Very gently, she place the material on the sensitive scarred area right below his knee. "Just make sure it's a snug fit, with no air trapped at the bottom, to avoid chafing and discomfort." As Julia talked, she rolled the sleeve over his knee--Tyler winced slightly as the silicon touched sensitive scarred skin--and up to where his shorts ended.
Once the scars were covered, Robin was relieved to feel the hold of his hand lighten. If the vise-like grip had lasted any longer, he was worried he'd have to visit the ER downstairs to be treated for hand fractures.
"Now, place your leg--keeping it bent--into the socket," Julia instructed Tyler, who happily obliged and slid his leg into the cup on top of the prosthetic leg. Below it was an aluminum rod that ended in a foot-shaped flat part at the bottom, on which Julia had already put Tyler's favorite sneaker--a pair of worn green Adidas with yellow stripes--which he'd been told to bring. "The suction will keep it connected as you stand," she explained.
Tyler looked at the foreign leg that was attached to him. His gaze was curious, excited, and a bit frightened. Cautiously, he bent his knee slightly, which made the leg below bend as well. Tyler looked to Robin, a look of awe in his eyes. Of course, he knew the leg would bend with him, but actually experiencing it was a whole other thing. Slowly, Tyler moved the prosthetic leg toward his flesh-and-blood leg, until two green sneakers lined up beside each other on the floor. The right one was much duller in color than the left one.
"I haven't worn two shoes in a while," Ty whispered to Robin, his voice thick from emotion. "It looks... right. Like how it's supposed to be. Like I'm not broken anymore."
"It does look nice," Robin agreed and gave Tyler a quick peck on the cheek."But you were never broken, Ty. You're always like you were supposed to be."
"Try to stand," Julia encouraged Tyler. The technician pointed to the two parallel support bars in front of him, intended to help him balance. "I'll be right next to you if you trip. If it feels unbalanced, I can make some adjustments." She pointed toward the bolts around the ankle on the prosthetic.
Reluctantly, and with a look of fear in his eyes, Tyler let go of Robin's hand and put both his hands on the bars. With a nervous smile, he supported himself on his new leg as he rose into standing position.
"Just stand still there for a while, Tyler," Julia said and knelt to adjust the sleeve around his knees slightly, as it had puckered. "Let me roll up the top sleeve as well, so everything is secured before you try to walk." She pointed to the second sleeve that was attached to the socket.
Tyler nodded, but Robin could see the shimmer of impatient vibration in his boyfriend's eyes. He wanted to walk. He wanted to run. He wanted to fly. And he wanted to do those things now.
Time seemed to move unbearable slow as Julia rolled the fabric up over Tyler's knee, which attached the artificial limb firmly to his body. "There," the woman finally said and released her hands from Tyler's leg.
And there he stood, on two legs. Robin rose beside his boyfriend. Tyler seemed taller than before, probably because he usually was hunched over when using his crutches. But now, he towered tall and proud about two or three inches above Robin. From now on, Robin might have to stand on his tippy toes for kisses.
Immediately, Tyler lifted the new leg. Hesitantly but eagerly. He let it hang in the air for a moment, while supporting himself on the right leg, before he put his sneaker-clad aluminum foot down a few inches in front of him. Throughout the movement, his hands remained on the support bars to help him balance. Finally, Tyler lifted his right leg, which meant all his weight rested on the prosthetic leg. A grimace appeared on his face as unaccustomed tissue carried the burden, but he powered through. He completed the step. His first step.
A triumphant grin spread across Ty's face. "I'm walking, Robby," he exclaimed. "I'm actually walking..." He paused to breathe and wipe sweat, or perhaps a tear, from his cheek. "Stand over there and I'll walk over to you. " Tyler pointed at where the bars ended a few yards away.
Robin, of course, did as he was told. He stood at the end of the bars, face to face with his boyfriend as Tyler tried to master his new uncooperative and stiff limb.
Tyler repeated the step-maneuver a few more times. Each time he seemed more confident and each time he got closer to Robin.
When he was only a few feet away, Tyler lifted his hands from the bars and let them float above. "No hands!" he bragged with a triumphant smile.
"You really shouldn't do that..." Julia cautioned. "Hold on to the bars."
Tyler didn't listen. He completed the last couple of steps to Robin unsupported.
Their lips crashed into each other in a new first kiss. A first kiss where they were both standing on two legs. It felt exhilarating and novel to be face to face with Tyler. Now they could interact--and get intimate--without crutches that got in the way or slowed them down. As Tyler wobbled slightly, unaccustomed to shifting weight on his new leg, Robin steadied his boyfriend's hips in a firm embrace.
It was during that close huddle that Robin sensed a vibration from his pocket. It wasn't his mother, since he'd blocked her number, but it could be news about the scholarship. He'd made sure he received notifications immediately if an e-mail from Professor Royce was received.
He gave Tyler another kiss. "Try if you can walk back all the way again," Robin encouraged. "I'll wait here."
Tyler did an elegant spin, almost knocking Robin over with his elbow. "I'll be walking out of here in no time," he assured.
"You really should just use the leg for short bursts of time to begin with," Julia informed him, ever the killjoy. "But you will be able to bring it home with you today. Then you can up the usage every day at your own speed."
"My speed is like Usain Bolt," Tyler insisted.
"I'll make sure he uses it moderately," Robin and Donna said at the same time. This would probably need to be a time effort.
While Tyler tried new acrobatics, while Julia despaired, Robin looked down on his phone. As he'd suspected, there was a new e-mail from Professor Royce.
"Can you meet with me on Monday morning in my office?" it read. "I have some news for you that I want to discuss in person."
Today was Friday, which meant Robin would have to wait anxiously over the whole weekend. Surely, this couldn't be good news though as he'd been told the decision would take several weeks.
Robin looked toward Tyler, who was begging to get a soccer ball to kick while Julia fruitlessly tried to admonish him to be careful. Regardless of what happened, he needed to be there for Tyler. There had to be a way. And he needed to find a way to assure Tyler of that.