After that whole thing with Rosé, I got out of the river and quickly put my clothes on before walking back to my area. My mind was away in the memories that arose when she called me by my nickname I haven't heard in years. And for good reason. It still hurts me immensely whenever someone says it; I didn't even know she knew it. Or, she had thought she came up with it herself. Either way, I don't want her calling me that again.
I shook my thoughts away as I had arrived at my shelter. I just plopped down on my crappy bed and rested my head against the tree. I leveled out my breathing and I don't even know how, but a lone tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away and composed myself, not letting my past come back into play. I don't need to give Rosé more ammunition on me.
"Hey, you okay?" I looked up to see that Rosé stood at the front of my shelter.
"Yea, now get away." I said harshly. She flinched a little at my tone, not expecting it. She didn't say anything else and walked back over to her shelter, leaving me alone with my loud and overbearing thoughts. I was able to shut them out for the time being and cook some crabs that I had killed earlier.
I was too focused on not thinking about my past that I burnt my first round of crabs, making me more pissed off than I already was. I grabbed them while they were still hot and threw them as far as I could. They reached the ocean and I saw a shark immediately splash around and eat them. My hand now stung as it was semi burnt, but I'm too annoyed to give a crap right now.
I just cooked another crab and actually watched it this time. It was done and I ate it, making my hunger lessen a little. I was going to go and get some more raspberries to eat, but my hand was becoming more of an issue and I knew I needed to do something about it. I know Rosé has the medical supplies at her area, so I need to go over and get some. But with how I've given her the cold shoulder, I feel like that is going to be easier said than done.
I wrapped a bandanna gently around my left hand and made my walk over to her shelter. She noticed movement and looked up, our eyes meeting. Hers didn't show any emotion and just observed me as I continued getting closer to her. I stood about a meter away from her,
"Hey Rosi– Rosé, I need a few things from here." I told her. She quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms,
"And why would I give you what you want?" I looked down at her,
"Because you want to?" I asked her uncertainly. She rolled her eyes at me,
"No, now leave."
"Please! I really kinda need a few things." She squinted at me,
"And what would these things be?" I sighed and grabbed at the bandanna, her eyes drifting down to it in curiosity. I removed it and heard her gasp at the already blistering skin,
"I just need some bandages and I'll be gone."
"Y/n! How the hell did this happen?" She asked me getting up to get a closer look at my hand. She reached out for it and I pulled my hand away from her outstretched hand. I don't really need her touching me.
"Well, I was in my head and I burned my crabs. I got pissed off and threw them into the ocean without a second thought." I explained to her as she continued looking over my hand. She looked back up at me and then silently walked away, going over to a crate which I asume has the bandages. She came back over with some and I smiled a little at her, thanking her with my eyes.
"Come here." She commanded softly to me as she sat down on a tree stump. I eyed her questioningly and she just glared at me, making me quickly sit down next to her. She set everything up and I realized that she was going to wrap my hand. I reached my good hand out to stop her,
"Woah woah, you don't need to do that Rosé. I can do it perfectly myself." I told her as she slapped my right hand away,
"Shut up, just give me your left hand."
"What if I don't?" I asked to see what she would say.
"You won't have a hand anymore, courtesy of me." She said bluntly as my eyes widened. I gulped and held my left hand out for her to wrap. Rosé took the back of my hand in hers and I was amazed at how soft her hands are. Even though we've been out here for over 2 weeks, they're still soft. Her hands are also warm, which feels... interesting. She put I don't even know what on the burn which caused me to yell out in pain.
"Ow! That really hurts!" I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth. I heard a faint chuckle fall from her lips as she pressed some fabric against it, causing it to hurt even more, which I didn't think was possible. I curled up and rested my head on my knees as I watched Rosé continue to do work on my hand. She grabbed the bandages finally and actually gently wrapped my hand. Once it was set in place and done, she smiled proudly,
"I haven't done that in a while. Think it looks pretty good."
"I've seen better." I said with a smirk. She just rolled her eyes at me,
"Yeah, sure you have. Now you may leave me alone." I nodded my head and stood up, turning around and walking back to my shelter. I mumbled to myself once I was out of earshot from her,
"Thank you."
I made it back to my shelter and even though I have a messed up hand, I want to get a roof back on this thing. I decided instead of trying to find the rope Rosé buried, I would do a grid pattern of sticks and then lay some palm leaves, dried grass, and mud on top. I got to gathering the materials I needed for it and it took so long because I couldn't use my left hand.
After probably three hours of non stop gathering, I had enough for the roof and took a food break by eating some raspberries and a crab that I had cooked earlier. Once I finished eating, Rosé decided now would be a great time to annoy me.
"Whatcha doing?" She asked as she looked down at me. I looked up to her and admired how the setting sun shone on her face. I realized what I was thinking and blinked a few times before responding,
"Making another roof to my shelter because someone ruined the first one."
"I wonder who that could've been?" She said with a teasing smile. I gave her a fake one back,
"I don't know, but they really pissed me off." She nodded her head,
"I like them then. If they can piss you off, they're going to be my best friend." I rolled my eyes at her and stood up, taking my tailcoat off because I was a little hot. I faced her and noticed her eyes shot up to my eyes as if she was looking at something else. I didn't think much of it and spoke,
"Yeah, you'd like her. She's a real character." Rosé took a big step towards me so we were closer,
"You just gave me a compliment."
"Huh?" I said extremely confused.
"You said I was 'a real character', which is a compliment." I shook my head,
"No. Plus, how do you know it was even you I was talking about?"
"I'm the only other person on this stupid island with you!" She voiced, her tone stronger.
"You haven't seen the mermaids here?" She squinted at me,
"I heard those were a myth."
"Oh they most definitely aren't. I've seen a beautiful one with long blonde hair and a body shaped by the gods themselves. Her tail was this beautiful light blue, I still think about her." I said to Rosé, completely making the whole thing up. Her eyes hardened at every word I spoke.
"You're lying." I smiled at her,
"I'm not, but choose not to believe me, that's fine. She said her name was Sana." I could tell she was debating about whether to believe me or not, and it was very amusing. I also just had to come up with a random name too. I just turned away from her and was about to walk over to the palm leaves, but my wrist was caught.
"I do believe you." I turned around,
"Really?" I said as I was trying to hide my surprise. It was all a total lie, but I'm interested that she chose to believe me. She just nodded her head,
"I do."
"Good to know." I said plainly as I took my hand out of her grip and leaned down to get some palm leaves. As I did, I realized that I needed to climb trees in order to do this. My shoulders deflated and I hung my head as I needed to ask the person next to me to help. No, I can't; I won't ask her for help. I placed the palm leaves back down on the ground and slowly walked over to my makeshift bed.
"You know you can ask for help, right?" Rosé said from behind me.
"I know, and I won't." I told her as I sat down on my bed, facing her. She looked unimpressed with my answer,
"Just ask me."
"No." I said, crossing my arms. She raised an eyebrow at me and also crossed her arms,
"Excuse me?"
"Oh you heard me, no. You want me to say it in spanish? No." Rosé scoffed at me and walked closer to me,
"Stop being annoying and let me help you."
"Why do you even want to help me? Huh? What will you even gain out of this?"
"Why does that matter, I'm just trying to be a good person–"
"For fuck sakes we literally steal from people for a living and kill them! I'm going to ask you again, why are you trying to help me and be this 'good person' towards me?" I said angrily at her. She was shocked at my outburst, but composed herself quickly. A fire lit in her eyes and I knew this argument would continue.
"Don't talk to me like that! Like I'm just another faceless person!"
"Well aren't you!? What's so special about Rosé?" I said moving my hands around. She launched her hand forward and grabbed a fistful of my shirt, clutching it tightly. Our faces were mere centimeters away and I could feel her hot breath on my face. We stared into each other's eyes as she spoke,
"You want to know what's special about me? For one thing, I didn't follow what my family had laid out for me on a silver platter. I made my own destiny. I also have people who trust me with their lives and I trust them with mine. I may not be the strongest or smartest person out there, but I damn sure am I good one." She said to me, her voice low and dripping with anger. I became more pissed off as that wasn't really anything special, so I grabbed her hand and threw her away from me. Rosé stumbled back and shot daggers at me with her eyes.
"I don't give a damn that you chose this life! That you could've been one of the richest people of our generation because of your family! I don't care that you chose this life because this has basically been mine my whole life! I didn't even have the option you had at a good life. I barely ate 5 times a week when I was younger! My family was so poor that we just lived on the streets for years! A rich family hired my parents to work on their farm, but no not me! My parents had to set me free at the ripe age of 12! The second you walked into the sea scavenger training, you were the definition of perfect! It was always 'Rosé this' and 'Rosé that' and I was just the nameless grey face! So I don't give a damn that you think you're so special because to people like me, you're nothing."
I didn't even notice the tears that were streaming down my face due to the anger I was projecting at Rosé. I wiped them away and looked straight into her eyes. Her face was unreadable as she was taking in everything I had just yelled at her. She looked me up and down, turned on her heels, and walked away.
When she was back at her shelter, I let my emotions get the best of me. I collapsed to the ground, crying into my elbow as I curled up into a ball. I don't care if she can hear me crying my eyes out, I've been trying to forget all the crap I went through for years and I just dug it up with that argument. My memories got the best of me and I let them resurface one by one.
Flashback to 12 year old y/n
"Mama, Papa? Is everything okay?" I asked as I had just walked back to our little alleyway from the market. I was able to buy one loaf of bread with the coins I had earned from working all this week. They looked up at me and they both had tears in their eyes. I grew worried and set the bread down on a small cloth. I squatted down in front of them, asking them again if everything was okay.
"No sweetie, it's not. Your papa and I were hired to work on a farm–"
"That's wonderful! Were you guys trying to trick me?" I said with a smile on my face. But, their facial expressions didn't change at all. My smile faltered as my mama wept into her hands, my papa rubbing her back comfortingly as he continued on what she was saying,
"We got hired, but the family does... they don't want you." He said as a tear fell from his eyes. I couldn't support my weight anymore and sat down in the dirty ground, just looking at my parents.
"Wha... what does that mean for me?" I asked them quietly.
"It means we have to let you go, my child." My papa said to me through tears. My mama was still a wreck and I just stared at them in disbelief. I wasn't going to have a family anymore; Im going to be on my own. It all came crashing down on me and I lunged forward and wrapped them up in the tightest hug I could give them.
"I still love you guys." I told them as I knew they probably thought I now hated them. I heard them cry harder and I also allowed myself to cry with my family for the last time.
The last time I'll have people who love me.
End of flashback; new flashback to 15 year old y/n
I woke up early this morning and got changed as I know today we are getting a new recruit for sea scavenging. I'm interested to see who this person is because all of the adults talk highly of them. I put on my best tricorne hat, which is this dark blue color, and walked out the door of my cramped room into the already busy hallway. We have 20 people living here right now and we are all learning the ways of the ocean before we are allowed to have our own ship.
"Mornin' youngster!" Key said to me as he patted my shoulder. I smiled up at him,
"Hi sir! When is the new recruit arriving?" I asked him as we walked down the hallway to the main dining hall.
"She'll be here any minute, just keep your socks on a little longer." He said with a smile. So, this new person is a girl, fun. As we were walking, I got bumped into by none other than Jungkook. I rolled my eyes at him as he just carried on, not sparing me a second glance. I just kept walking until our captain's voice rang through the hall, capturing all of our attention. We all collectively looked over to see him smiling with a beautiful girl next to him.
She looked around my age, had this wavy black hair, about my height, and I really like her brown eyes. One thing that I wasn't expecting was she was wearing gorgeous clothing, like the expensive kind. I grew curious of this new girl and wait for captain to speak.
"Everyone, this is Rosé. She's joining us on our training and hopes to make a name for herself." He said as the girl named Rosé nodded her head to the things he said. Her eyes were scanning the hall and when ours met, she eyed me up and down, a judgement expression forming on her face as she moved on to looking at other people. I was offended that she already apparently didn't like me because I was the only other girl here. I was hoping to be her friend, but that doesn't look like that'll be happening. I'll just stick with Kai, Ten, and Key.
"Alright, let's get going on training!"
~~~~~
The whole time Rosé was called up to do something, she always had to one up me. I have literally been here for over 3 years and she's already better than me. Whether it was reading, writing, looking at maps, anything she was just better than me.
I took that personally and made it my goal to get my knowledge better. One thing I did have her beat on was the physical aspect of being a sea scavenger. She couldn't do a push up and didn't have any stamina when it came to running. It was entertaining seeing her struggling, but for some reason, the captains kept praising her. It ticked me off and I knew she was going to be my enemy for this point on.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up from my book about medical stuff. I was trying to read it, but it's still hard to do since I've only been learning reading and writing for three years. When I turned my head, I saw Rosé with a smirk on her lips. I don't know how long she's been watching me, but from that smirk it must've been a while. She definitely knows I'm struggling.
"You suck at reading."
"Well that happens when I've only been doing it for three years." I snapped back as I turned back around and looked down at the page. All these letters mean absolutely nothing to me and I don't think I'll ever understand how to read. My book disappeared from my sights at Rosé was now sitting next to me, reading my book.
"This is literally so easy, are you stupid?" She asked me as she pointed to the book. I grew embarrassed as apparently she knows how to read really well.
"Again, haven't been doing it that long." She rolled her eyes at me,
"That's not an excuse. How come your parents never gave you classes?" I stared at her,
"Well, I lived on the streets my whole life, so we never really got lessons. How the hell do you know how to do it so well?" She averted her eyes from me,
"A friend."
"I can tell you're lying, your breathing became erratic and you became all fidgety." I told her as she glared at me.
"Fine, my parents are on the wealthier side and I got lessons." A candle felt like it lit over my head,
"Oh, so that's why you have nice clothes. You were born into a wealthy family," I said with an attitude as I ripped my book out of her grasp, "explains why you can't do anything physically enduring because you've had everything handed to you your whole life."
"You little–" I snapped my head in her direction and stared her down,
"Don't you even try to comeback. I'll be better than you at everything one day; I'll be the one they praise, not you."
End of flashback
I wiped my finally tears on my face as I remembered those two moments from my past. I'm glad that memory wasn't brought up in my fiasco of emotions. I really don't need to feel all of those emotions again. I steadied my breathing and composed myself, decided to eat a mango to fully calm down.
As I was eating my mango, I glanced over to Rosé's area and saw her back to me. I could tell that her knees were brought up into her chest and she was hugging them close. I didn't feel bad with what I said to her because it's true. But, maybe I could've worded it nicer... nah she's fine.
I'm fine.
I'll best her, I'll make 15 year old me proud.
—————
a little bit of y/n's past that haunts her... but no information on the nickname... anyway, thank you for reading and i'll see you guys in the next chapter <3 (also i'm studying for my ap calc test that i'm probably going to fail :D)