{Angst}
I feel so heart broken right now (even though I'm not in a relationship) cause my anxiety kicking in and more bad thoughts flooding in my head that makes my heart wrench and I think about writing a Angst one to at least blow some of the pain by writing
And I'm gonna say sorry in advanced, so I'm so sorry for this one
Y/F/L - Your Favorite Lunch
Y/F/F - Your Favorite Flower
Y/BD - Your Birthday
I DO COMMISSION JUST DM ME FOR THE INFO
-
I'm so excited today cause I plan a date for my lovely girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff yes the Black Widow well I'm just an ordinary person, I just work an assistant at one of the billionaire here in the New York
My goal was to be the assistant of Pepper Pots but my luck wasn't my side, anyway I just plan a dinner date with her and tomorrow is our 3rd year anniversary and I buy us a ticket to Hawaii for 1 week
Tasha lived in the compound and I lived near at the compound just a penthouse and when I asked her if she can lived with me she turn it down but I understand she needs in the compound so it's no problem to me
*My Sexy Spy❤*
Babe, where are you?
Talia?, are you on your way?
Baby? Answer me please
Babe
Babe
Talia
Baby
Love
Do you have work to do?
Talia?
I frown cause since 4 pm she didn't reply to me but I shrug it off maybe she's busy of work
I just sit there waiting for her arrival, you see Talia was the only person who acknowledge me for who I am cause all the people including my family see me as a bad child, a black sheep and need to follow what they say and what they want for me
When I told them that I'm Bi and Talia was my girlfriend they say that I should break up with her and find some good man that can make our family proud but I didn't listen I keep our relationship even if they are against it, I fight for our relationship
When I meet Talia she makes me special that I'm the only matter to her like I'm her queen that needs to be served and do nothing just stay still
And because of that I love her so much more, I love her more than myself she's my heart and world I can't loose her, I don't know what will I be if I loose her
I stay there for over 1 hour and no Natasha Romanoff in the place not even a strand of her red hair, I sigh and look at my phone no reply so I make a call but it turns to voicemail so I leave a few and text too
*My Sexy Spy❤*
Babe are you catch up in your work?
I love you, please answer me
Ok I'll stay another minutes!
I turn off my phone and slum my back to my chair, sighing out of frustration
"Ma'am any drink you would want?" The waiter me politely so I smile
It was 9 and some of the people are looking at me and some waitress and waiter too they look sorry for me, and I was getting embarrassed for sitting alone for over 1 hour here waiting for someone
"No thank you, just another more minutes!" I say politely and he nod and leave me
I wait again for another 1 hour but no sign of the Black Widow in the place and no reply too
"Ma'am drink maybe can help!" The same waiter said to me and offer me a red wine
"No thank you I'll call the night off!" I say sadly and he look at me sorry so I leave immediately cause my tears was threatening to fall so I run to my car and hop in the driver seat and let my tears fall
*My Sexy Spy❤*
Hey babe I'm not in the restaurant anymore, I go home cause I'm tired and I have a long day tomorrow!
Love you a lot good night!
I turn off my phone wiping my tears away and start to drive to my home and when I got there I quickly take a shower and change in my PJ
I lay to my bed curl up and hugging her pillow here in my bed and cry, my anxiety was kicking in many more things was coming in my head, I feel unwanted like before
When I calm down I wip my tears and think that she was just working, she's busy and forgot our date night and check her phone nothing more
Well this is the 2nd months when she became cold to me, no more date nights, cuddles, sweet moments and anything that couple do and all I think was she was so busy to her work cause being one of the hero was hard too. Then my phone when off and I got excited cause I think it was Talia but I'm wrong but still reply to the text
*Yelena*
Hey buds you ok? You've been a little off lately!
Hey buds, yes I'm fine just some work, you know how work stressing me out but over all I'm fine and doing good. Thanks for checking!
Are you sure? Well no problem your my bestie so it's my job to make sure you ok
Yeah I'm fine anyway is Talia ok?
Yeah why? Did you two got in argument?
Oh no no no just Talia forgot our date night and she didn't answer her phone so I thought she was busy or not feeling good
She was ok maybe she have lots of works
Yeah you're right, well good night buds I'm exhausted long day today, bye love you
Sleep well, bye love you too
I charge my phone and lay again in my bed and try to sleep until my mind and eyes give up and let me sleep
-
NO ONES POV
While Y/N was questioning herself in her place, Nat in the other side was having fun with Bucky
Well since Bucky got lived in the compound, Nat was being so close to him and the team noticing it until Wanda come across her mind and find that Nat have the liking to Bucky so Wanda confront Nat but Nat just snap at her excusing that you weren't there to see it and to know it unless one of them said it to you
Until then Wanda always warned Nat and see the food your making for Nat in the trash or giving it to Yelena or someone in the place
Yelena was mostly in the compound vising Nat and when she know the situation, she and Wanda always check on you and feel sorry that they can't tell you the truth
Then last week Nat and Bucky finally do it, they have a steamy session and since then they always do it if they can even now
While you are waiting they are having fun in Nat's room until they sleep out of exhausting ignoring you
-
Y/N
I wake up in the sun by my window so I got up and make breakfast and mac and cheese for Talia
I'm gonna drop this off in the compound before going in my work
When I was done, I change to my working clothes and head to the compound happy that I'm gonna see my girlfriend
When I got there I quickly go to the main area and knock in the double door, well I want to be civil even if they are all of my friends then Yelena open the door but when I see what's the inside my heart drop and Yelena quickly cover the sight of Talia and Bucky making out in the couch
"Y/N.... Oh wh-what are you doing here?" She asked nervous so I smile to her and put a brave face
"Just want to see Nat! And you don't have to cover them, I already see it!" She got shocked but look at me sadly
"Nat you have a visitor!" Yelena shout and after minute Talia got in the door happy but when she see me it drop immediately so I smile to her
"Hi babe!" I hug her and I'm gonna kiss her lips but she turn around so I kiss her cheeks and Yelena leave then Talia push me and close the door
"What are you doing here?" She said coldly so I smile
"Just bring you here and remember it's our 3rd year anniversary!" I say cheerily but she sigh and take the paper bag in my hand
"We need to talk!" I nod and got nervous she she proceed
"We need to break up, I don't love you anymore, I love someone else so please don't contact me anymore or come here, we're over!" The tears I was holding was now cascading, I can't find my voice I was choke of my sobbing, my worst fear was now happening
Before she can turn around I got on my knees and hold her hand and beg for her
"Please.... Nat do-do n't do this to me please, I-I ne-need you....... Please I-I need you.... Please stay!" I hear her sigh
"I'm sorry Y/N but you can't force me or my heart to love you!" I sob even more
"Just please.... Le-let me love you and do anything until I fall out of love please!" I beg and I know I sound desperate but I don't careless, I need her and I can't loose her
It's ok for me if I look like a puppy but I need her, I don't know what will happened to me if I loose her
"Whatever Y/N, do whatever you want but we're done!" And she snatch her hand back and go inside leaving the paper bag in the floor
I stan up flat my skirt and put the paper bag at the side of the door and leave wiping my tears going to my work and start the long day
-
NO ONES POV
Since that day Y/N always make an effort to Natasha, she always give her food, flowers and gift but eventually Natasha always throw it or give it to someone while Y/N was watching but Y/N didn't say something just let it happened
Always set up a date and tell Nat to come but in the end Nat didn't show up and she will go home embarrassed of the starring and disappointed but she never give up she put a lot of effort that her priority was her and forgetting her job but in return she received a cold shoulder, talk and action to make it short she receive nothing but pain
Wanda, Yelena and the team got worried about you specially Yelena she cares about you so much that she always come in your house to make you something and comfort you
You might think and call her martyr but you can't blame her, she truly love Nat so much she only feel safe, wanted, love and every good things to her and no one so she fall in love really hard to her that she give all she have and nothing left for her gosh she even giving anything even if she can't give anymore
She's making so much effort for Nat and the team was giving Nat a cold shoulder and insult her but she couldn't careless
That's was 3 months ago and Nat didn't receive any effort or love to Y/N 2 months ago and Nat was so happy about that she didn't receive anything from Y/N not even a text it's totally zero but these pass few days she was looking for something she can't distinguish, she was longing to something and looking for someone and that was Y/N, her love, care, her efforts for her and everything about her
-
NATASHA
It's been 2 months since Y/N stop from giving me gifts, food, flowers and texting me or calling me and I was so happy that finally she's not on my tail anymore but that's the first month and now I'm missing her
Her face, touch, her toothy smile, her angelic laugh, her skin on mine, her presence, her love, her care, her cooking and everything about her I miss her so much
And for me and Bucky it went downhill this past few days we always arguing, he didn't care like Y/N did for me, I feel he was using me as a fuck toy and yesterday we broke up
And the looks of the team was giving me and the cold shoulder was making it worse, the guilt, the breakup and the the team was so over whelming
I decided to cook lunch for Y/N it was sunday and I know she always take the day off in weekends so I'm gonna visit her to her penthouse today
I honestly realized that I truly love her and it got stronger when she stop making efforts so now I'm the one who will gonna make efforts to her and win her back
I know it will take time to win her maybe months cause she have a trust issue and I understand that she can't forgive me and push me away but I'm not gonna give up not anymore
I'm gonna text her to inform her that I'm gonna come to her house and have lunch with her and I change her contact name from Y/N to Soon To Be Wife❤
*Soon To Be Wife❤*
Hey! I know it's been 3 months since we spilt up but I'm gonna come over and have lunch with you
I miss you and I'm sorry for what I did
I'm gonna bring our lunch there, it's your favorite Y/F/L, I make it by myself well with the help of direction
See you soon love, love you to infinity
I put my phone in my back pocket and make her favorite Y/F/L after that rest it in the counter and I quickly put it in the paper bag and run in the elevator excited
I hop in my car happy that I'm gonna see her today and stop in the flower shop to buy her a basket full of her favorite flower which is Y/F/F
After that I go to her house and ring a door bell smiling that any seconds she will open this door and I will see her face
I rock myself by my feel to the tip and to the heel of my boots, I wait anxiously there and ring a door bell but it was all silent no sounds can be heard
I wait for 30 minutes but no answer, my shoulder slum down and I was looking down to my feet and one last ring I will go inside, I got worried maybe something happened
When I finally made my mind I pick up the lock and make myself enter her house, I quietly walk to the hallway and when I got inside it was all silent
I was greeted by an empty house, it was silent and empty then I can clearly see some dust in the glass coffee table and anywhere I think it didn't got to clean for over a long time
I go up to her room and I see nothing again and her room was so tidy, all over the house was tidy no one was dare to make a mess, I mean she was an organized person don't like to have dirt anywhere that's the of one why I fall in love to her
Going down and put the paper bag and basket in the kitchen counter and start to clean her house
After I clean her house I sit down and take my phone out to check if she reply but nothing
*Soon To Be Wife❤*
Hey where are you?
I'm here at your house, I already clean your house
Did you already eat lunch?
Text me back if you see this!
I sigh and bring my phone down then take a plate and fork and eat the Y/F/L I made after that I wash it and stay waiting for her until it was 9 pm and she's still not home
I got worried that there might be something happened to her but she never pick her phone up and never reply to me so I look if she's still in her work place in my phone well I hack it
But it says that she's not working there for over 2 months now, I frown and go run in my car and find her
I go all the place she can be but I find nothing but I still keep looking all over the city I think I already look all over the city but I found nothing and it was 2 am so I go back to the compound worried and sleep in my room
I wake up to the sun peeking in my window so I got up and do my morning routine then head downstairs to the kitchen where everyone is, it's 8 am so they are all eating breakfast including Yelena
I take my seat and take some pancakes, they are looking at me, I can feel it
"Where are you yesterday?" I look at Steve and eat
"I go to Y/N's house and stay there even if I found it empty!" They stop eating and look at each other
"Then I hack in her work place and she's not working there for 2 months now and I look all round the city to find ber but nothing even in her favorite place!" I say sadly and look down my plate, I know that they will gonna get angry at me
"And why are you looking for her huh? Isn't this what you want to leave you with your fuck toy alone!" Yelena almost shout, her words and voice has a vemon on it I can feel it and her anger with the others I can feel it in the air
I slowly look up and see her so red of her anger, her eyes was throwing a dagger with some tears and she was holding the spoon and fork tightly, I look at Wanda and her eyes are glowing red with tears too and pure anger then I look at the others they are glaring at me but calming Wanda and Yelena
"At first yes but....... I realized that I can't leave her fully and I truly love her!" I whisper but enough for them to hear and I hear then scoff
"Yeah right too late for that Romanoff!" Wanda said and I look at her confused
Is she finally move on? Is she already have another partner? Fuck so many things are running in my head
"Your too late to bring back what situation we have before!" Tony yell
"You might want to see this!" And Wanda hold my hand and show me a memory
After the memory, I cry my knees got weak I don't think I can stand up without falling, my sob was silent, I want to scream but I can't find my voice, I take my time and they just look away
"Wh-where?" I finally asked to them and I look at Wanda and Yelena but they just look away
"I don't think you deserve to kn-" I cut Yelena off
"Ple-please where?.....Please I'm be-begging yo-you all.....te-tell me where" I drop on my knees begging them to tell me where
After some begging they give me the location so I quickly hop in my car wishing it wasn't true and speed off the location even if it was now raining a heavy one
When I got there I quickly find the only one that stand at the middle, I cry my knees are weak I think I'm gonna fall but I fight it and walk slowly, tears cascading
My hand is in on my mouth, my eyes was now blurry because of my unstoppable tears and I was sobbing
When I got in the middle, it was true all Wanda show me was true and they are not lying, that explain why she's not in her home and have a dust, she's not working anymore and she's no where to be found
I can't keep standing anymore so I let my knees to be a jello and fall to the grass with some flowers and the memory Wanda show me are flashing back
Memory 2 Months ago (NO ONES POV)
Y/N was walking down of the busy New York street it was 9 and she was heading home after she drop Nat's dinner she make with flowers
It was cold and some people are walking around happy but not Y/N until she come across in one of the ally and see the teen girl like she's 15 and this 2 men was harassing her so Y/N call the police
She go to then and quickly kick the 2 mens ball and gonna run both of them but when they turn around they see another men this one was a tall muscular one twice the size of Y/N well Y/N was only 5'3 and this man is like 6'2 and muscular not like this two men the are just 5'7
"Where the two of you going?" The man said and point a gun to them and Y/N hide the girl behind her well the girl was only 5 flat
"You look fuckable baby girl glad you join us here!" The guy trace the tip of the gun in Y/N's jaw and she just tense up
"I'm gonna have some fun with you baby girl!" The guy gonna rip her clothes off but Y/N his balls before he got a chance and they both run but not long only 4 steps they take a loud bang heard in the place
And Y/N drop in the cold floor blood flowing out of her body and mouth, the girl gasp and tears cascading, Y/N look at the girl
"G-Go..... Ru-run away, ne-never look...... Ba-back here,.... Do-don't stop.... U-until yo-you got home!" Y/N say weakly and the girl run not before saying thank you and sorry
And when the girl got out the ally the 3 men got up and strip off going to fuck her even if she's in the verge of death but got stop of the police sirens and footsteps coming so the 3 mens run as fast as they can
Y/N was now losing her breath and going to the deep sleep that she will never wake up again, before the police come to her, she say her last sentence and take her last breath
"Yo-you're fr-free...... No-now m-my love, I-I love.... You alw-_always........ remem-remember that..... Natalia..... Alianova..... Romanova...... I-I ...... Love..... You to.... Infinity!" And she take her last breath ,closing her eyes and accepting her fate and the police carry her to the ambulance and they try to save her but they announce in the hospital 'Dead on arrival'
End of Memory
-
NATASHA
"I-I'm so sorry..... My love, please forgive me, I'm so sorry!" I cry my heart there while touching her gravestone looking down eyes close and tears falling to her gravestone with the rain too
The world was joining me of my pain, sorrow and mourning of my love ones and it was heavy rain one but what I feel will never compared to anything
"I-I love you too to infinity...... I'm sorry that I cheat on you, I'm sorry that I leave you, I'm sorry that I feel you like what you feel with your family, I'm sorry that I make you look so desperate and I'm so so sorry for all of what I've done!" I hug her gravestone
"AAAHAHHHHAAAAAHAHHAHHAHHAAAAAAHH!" I scream in agony, I can't bare this feeling, the only one I love, care, want and the only one I have was now gone
And the last memory of her to me was me treating her so bad like an animal, I cry there cry and cry
All what I have was now gone, the team hates me and the love of my life was now gone, I don't know if I can still wake up in the morning without a heavy heart
"I love you Y/N Y/L/N to infinity" I kiss her gravestone and read it
Y/N Y/L/N
Y/BD - September 16, 2020
Daughter. Friend. Sister.
I take her for granted, I love you to infinity my love, I know I'm Too Late but we will see each other again in the heaven and we will be happy for eternity
-
|Aya|
Ok this is my first all angst without a happy ending and I'm sorry to break all of your heart!
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! THIS IS MY OWN STORY