I try to get a glimpse of her face.
But she roams from houses to houses. It is hard to look at the crowd at the dawn and recognise her by scent mixed with hundreds of others and smell of their sweats.
Still healing from the burns, I cannot just sit and wait for the Ceremony night. I want to see her already, observe her and know about her.
There have been very less chances when she nearly came to the border.
One time, when she was scared in the jungle. I couldn't feel her wolf alive inside her. It affects my heart a little. What if she too has felt the pain of longing and it killed her wolf? What if this is why she has returned to be with me?
Her brothers and father arrived in their beast forms after her sister had scared her. My mate had fainted at the sight of a wolf. It was unusual for a wolf pup to be this scared of jungle and of its wolves.
Another time, her scent lingers around the border coincidentally. Hidden behind the thick wall of trees, because the border's heat felt stronger now that I was still healing, she couldn't even feel my presence.
For once, I saw the Alpha looking straight at where I was hidden. At the group of the trees, as if he knows I come here or if he had seen me that day.
King asks us to keep ourselves hidden for the intimidation. But I am not afraid to show up to her father if it will come to that.
These days are restless. Without her. Without seeing Keev.
I spend one day here. Another at the mountains. Lucine asks me to heal first. King makes faces at seeing me getting up at dawn to reach here as early as I can.
But I want to see my mate and this full moon seems like the perfect time.
I was only looking around the pack, far at a distance, enjoying the solitude as even other Lycan males were not here tonight. The full moon is riskier for them. But I didn't have to be mad anymore. The burns have humbled me. My scars remind me of my patience of ten years.
So, I keep my heart calm and observe the happenings.
Their young pups are wild tonight. The painful growls make me worry about my mate too. If she will know my presence and try to recognise my scent, the night will be easier. We can heal each other, I feel.
But she doesn't come. She is either sleeping peacefully because of a lack of a wolf or somewhere locked in chains.
But the greed to get a mere glimpse of her has made me restless and courageous. I haven't seen her face properly for once. She isn't aware of our soon-to-be bond in any way.
So, I think of what happened two days ago. Her brother, the future Alpha called out her name during the fights. There were many females and one of them walked towards him. Her back was facing the jungle. But I knew it was her. The scent was rich among the gusts of wind.
I remember walking back home while dancing and swaying around through the jungles. My world has brightened since the moment I whispered out her name for the first time.
"Misty," I say while looking around the pack on this full moon night.
Alpha Rucus watches me keenly from his place.
After finding her after ten years of wait and still being apart by the border, her name makes so much sense. She is close yet so far. She is mine yet I am not hers for the time being.
My hand reaches to scratch the back of my neck. My face warms up everytime I whisper her name to myself.
"Misty."
The gust of wind pass through the jungle towards her pack. I hope, she listens.
"Misty."
She does.
Her scent gets richer but strangely, accompanied with her sister's scent.
Both are walking towards the border and their faces have started to become visible. But before I can focus, a brown wolf appears out of one of the house from behind and follows them.
My heart jumps up for my mate's safety. The moment he jumps on her, the Lycan inside growls lowly in warning.
My mate screams and I take a step ahead in a stance.
But the sudden sound of approaching Lycans pulls all of my attention. Brother is coming. But why would he? I am here, alive and respecting the border.
The sudden scent of burns reaches me and I take an instant sprint towards the right.
The Lycan got hurt.
The shaky gasps sound feminine. It is too windy and masked by the smell of burns, her scent.
The chaos happening across the border makes me wonder if she has tried to reach someone.
I follow her as she run towards the jungle going inside our pack. I worry if she is hurt like I was.
I increase my pace despite the force that my body fights because of the pain jolting in the wounds at different places.
I stop immediately as King comes in my sight, standing all calm, but holding a female in his arms.
Her scent is masked by the furry coat that is his only.
"She did what you did five nights ago. She sent a rabbit."
I stare at him in shock.
King's eyes hold pain that female must be suffering.
"I want to see. Is it one of our. . ."
I haven't heard of any other female trying to do something like this.
"You shouldn't know, brother." King says, making me stop before I could get closer. He blinks calmly and glances down at the female who has passed out. "I caught her way earlier than I caught you. She will heal sooner. For now, she is in shock."
"Why?" I ask, my voice shakes. She reminds me of Miggy. She reminds me of Tara.
King observe my eyes. "Her mate is the Rucussan Alpha."
My heart breaks.
"Who is she?" I ask when he turns around to walk away. Another Luna.
He stops but doesn't turn around to look at me.
"Your mate mustn't know about her old pack's new Luna, Karam, I won't tell you. It is for the female's safety only."
He walks away.
I keep trying to sniff as keenly as I could. But King is our Alpha for a reason. He was quick to appear and save another lost soul tonight.
I sigh and turn around to look towards the jungle behind which my mate's pack was aware of a Lycan action tonight.
The Alpha must be aware then, about his mate.
But does my mate know that I exist too?
I run back to where my mate was.
Her sister and the mad wolf are being taken away. While she waits
"Misty."
Her name slips from my mouth on its own and my breath get stuck inside my chest.
She turns her head around to look at where I am standing hidden behind the trees.
Beautiful grey orbs are full of with curiosity and fear of the unknown. Her skin had paled from the fright. Her hair were being blown by the strong wind.
I watch as her brother, the future Alpha who just got to smell the scent of his mate, hides his pain and checks for his sister's injured arm. My heart warms up when she gives in to her brother's care and tries to look back at me.
The grey eyes holds an unsure assumption that I, whom she has just seen, exist.
She knows. But she struggles to believe. She stays in wonder.
Her brother gets far and she looks away towards the houses, leaving me breathless.
The ground turns empty and bare to the moonlight.
The mist rises around the border and so does my heartbeats.
I cannot wait for the ceremony.
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The evening was pleasant today with blue skies and white beautiful clouds.
Alma and Alvena offered to invite me to sit with them on the mat on the vast ground and enjoy the soothing wind.
Her pups were playing with Salome's pups.
Noira and Stella were sitting on another mat a little away gossiping about something else. Janine arrived a little late and joined them afterwards.
Reveka was running after Kenny who had stolen her bracelet made of beads.
Emily was laid beside me, talking about other females of the pack with Alma. Mostly, about dresses and the upcoming stay at the temple after a week.
For a moment, I thought about raising my head and observe each one of them keenly. Was Pete's mate actually one of these females or a common Lycan female? Who could be so brave and savage enough to rebel and take action, not fearing Kingston at all? Who could dare not fear the border and burn herself to be with Pete?
Goosebumps risen on my arms and I removed my arm from over my eyes. The clouds were moving.
Alvena was massaging my feet softly without me asking for it. I was upset and disappointed with at realising how she had lost herself just to make Anton feel secure and dominant. I wanted to stop talking to her to make her realise that I didn't like how she had given up on her own aura and was living on Anton's rules. But I couldn't. She was sweet and didn't deserve any hatred or disrespect from me.
I couldn't believe that Nysa and her couldn't even shift whenever they wanted. Them and the rest of the wolves, could only shift at full moons or when it was extremely uncontrollable.
Lycans knew that the shifted beast's rich scent would sign their existence to the outer packs.
I sighed in wonder while looking at the sky.
Everything around seemed so simple to be solved yet so complicated to be even understood.
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Terrified.
She has fainted at the very sight of my beast. This is not how I had dreamt of our first meet. But she is drenched.
So, I think less and take her through the dense rows of jungles. The rain was less here and if I wouldn't reach home earlier, she would catch fever.
"Human."
I whisper to myself while observing her face. She feels small in my arms. She is healthy but the dress is heavier. She feel soft like a feather. The skin feels as if of a newly born pup.
The color of the eyes remind of the grey clouds.
The Lycan inside is so wild tonight. I just want to do the things I have always dreamt of. But I want to hear her voice first. I want to hear her call my name. I want the bond to happen first.
There is a whole eternity left to do the rest of the things.
I couldn't wait. But I have been taught by the Goddess to be patient. So, I will be.
Kingston saw it all. I saw it too.
The packs fought for her. She is a precious pup for them.
"My mate."
I chuckle to myself and think of how she will behave at seeing me in my human form.
King has asked me to be careful. She is different and sensitive. Her mother's howls will echo in my heart for the longest time.
So, I tell myself that I will take care of her.
I will love her.
My precious human mate.
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From nowhere, a kid came falling on my stomach.
I gasped in fright and pain.
The pup giggled and I raised my head only to roll my eyes.
Anton's son, Larc.
Alvena caught his hand and gave a soft scolding, asking him to run away from the mat. The boy giggled and ran away.
"Are you fine, Misty?" Alvena asked in concern.
"I am," I told her, feeling myself getting lost in the memories again. I had a lot on my mind than to worry about a goofy kid jumping on me, that even of Anton.
Though, he did make me miss Keev more and more.
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How does one control smiles?
I take deep breaths and thank the Goddess that my mate is unable to hear my heartbeats.
Everytime, she blinks and looks at me with those confused and angry eyes, my heart jumps. Every time, she cries, my heart shrinks and drowns in a pit.
Amelia has been hard on her. No matter how much brothers and I ask her to go soft on my mate, the Luna does what her heart says.
My mate is younger than the other foreign brides were. But her courage is double than theirs.
The weaker King calls her human form, the more savage she seems to me.
No one can easily handle Amelia's anger, rules and talk back at once. My mate does.
She is curious. She looks around and observes.
But she misses her home too.
I try to make a way for her to love her new home. But her pain is bigger than my efforts.
It is hard to control the beast who gets wild at the very sight of her dressed up as his bride.
And when she smiles, I reach the Moon.
The trees look greener. The mountains look more magnificent. The wind feels more soothing. The butterflies look more beautiful.
When she laughs, my heart warms up enough that I forget to breathe.
When she talks back, the beast dances in delight.
My mate is not scared of me. She thinks of me as hers enough to yell at me.
I listen. I control. I stare.
I have to do more to make her fall for me.
It's harder than I thought it would be. She doesn't get easily impressed.
The Lycan for whom females are ready to sin, my mate calls me a caveman.
The control slips at times and it is harder to even acknowledge of what I am capable of. I am not supposed to hurt her, I keep reminding myself.
But the beast is so much in love.
She sometimes give in to this bond, sometimes she fight it with all her might.
Sometimes, she accepts my love and sometimes she doesn't even pass me a glance.
She is the only one who can make me feel unwanted, insecure and fortunate all at once.
And when she calls my name, I get dizzy.
I forget everything and all I remember, is her.
Just her.
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"Is it hurting? Your neck? You have gone red, Misty."
The voice shook me up from my thoughts.
I look at Alvena and controlled the blush at seeing her dumbfounded look.
"You look flustered. Is something wrong?" She asked innocently.
"Thinking of our brother, definitely." Alma teased immediately.
Recognition hit Alvena's face while I covered my face with the scarf, laying peacefully on the mat.
I was the one unable to control a smile.
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"I don't know how she will behave. But I know that she will not hate Keev."
King and Amelia shake their heads.
"You don't have to tell her about it. Not until the full moon, Karam." Amelia says while pleading with her eyes. "She is angry now. Upset with her fate. Your pup's truth will break her more."
"I don't want to keep her in dark."
"Tell her when she smells the truth herself." King says while I shake my head in restlessness.
"No." Amelia says while walking towards me.
My mate is away at the lake. I keep thinking about telling her the truth when she has been starting to give her heart to our bond. I feel like I am betraying her.
"Not until you mark her. Mate her."
The words give me anger.
I look back at the Luna who looks pitiful as she desperately manifests a heir.
I cannot force upon my mate. I am someone who loves love, not the force.
"The mark will be painful. She will be scarred if she finds about it abruptly. If I tell her, she will be prepared."
"She will hate you." Amelia sobs softly, and holds my hand. "Wait for her to find about it herself. That will mean, she is ready for it. If she finds, then she cares. I don't want her to hate you when it wasn't your sin at all. Your mother has asked me to watch on you. I want nothing but for your mate to recognise the good in you, Karam."
I close my eyes with a tired sigh.
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"Uncle Karam is coming here."
Emily's sudden words made me remove the scarf from my face and immediately raise my head in surprise.
My heart jumped in fright and started beating faster in nervousness. Okay, I was nowhere ready to be in his presence.
"He is coming right here."
I wanted to keep laying and ignore the happenings around me. But Goddess knows why I just sat up abruptly and lowered my gaze when the sound of heavy boots pressing the grass actually reached my ears.
The pups erupted in giggles, encircling him. One of them almost trying to climb on his legs and further up.
"He has returned from the lake," Alvena whispered for me and let out a chuckle. "Someone has worked hard in the sun today."
I kept staring at the silk cyan scarf in my hands, that I had found in his cupboard. Amelia had asked me to tie around my neck if the air would still tickle the mark uncomfortably.
It wasn't the air, it was him.
I roamed my fingertips over the space where I could feel the sudden sensations.
"Has Natasha returned home, brother?" Alma asked slowly.
"She has," the deep voice came. All three of them were facing him while I was facing the ground ahead, fidgeting with the scarf or hem of my dress.
"Must we start preparing dinner then." Alvena said while getting up. Emily followed.
Alma didn't. Instead, she said, "Your mate has been eating and healing well if that's what you wanted to know, brother."
"I want to know more," he said, sounding sincere and amused at the same time. "I am going for a walk ahead towards the north. I want her to come."
I sucked in a breath in confusion and awkwardness. Why was this so different than all the previous moments we have had before? What did he see in my memories that he had been behaving like this?
My face had warmed up.
Alma cleared her throat while I heard the oh-so-confident yet soft, "My mate?"
I thought and thought about it, wondering if this was what I wanted. Probably, not. But it was better than what I didn't want ever.
So, I got up slowly.
The moment my eyes caught his dark breeches and olive shirt, my cheeks had started to burn.
I didn't know where to look if not in his eyes. I couldn't dare do it when I had already his tanned veiny arms.
"Come," he said, while I glanced up in those amber orbs.
He looked calm and in a fresh mood. It could be a chance to put all the pending accusations and pour my heart out on him. But the way he was observing me with that soft gaze, I won't be able to even utter a no.
"Okay." I mumbled while walking towards the way he had turned to.
I, for sure, would trade this awkward moment for an ice-cream. But somehow, I wanted to see him and talk to him.
There had been so many memories, so much hurt and too much pain.
I knew what was in his mind. I wanted to know what was in his heart.
Most of all, I needed to know if I really would have to give up on myself and dedicate this life to him and his pack.
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I am thinking of another update,
will publish in two-three days.
I hope, you all are doing good.