BENJI POV
The sun was warm as I stretched, yawning while I woke up.
My leg was looser this morning... wait... afternoon? That made me check my phone to see it wasn't even nine yet. I was excited that maybe I could get this boot off and really begin physical therapy properly by the end of July. If the cast comes off in a week and a half, that's going to make my life so much easier
I was so serious about riding my bike again, even in the boot. My ankle isn't hurting as much and I can just put more pressure on my good ankle. Lissy said once this part is done we still have to make sure I re-learn how to walk, plus give the muscles a chance to regrow. I know it's gonna be a whole process, but that's okay.
It will take time, but healing always does.
I threw on a Luigi shirt with my basketball shorts and yawned, slipping into the bathroom quickly before I turned the corner into the living room. Lissy always curls up with her coffee on her corner of the couch, usually in some kind of pretzel yoga position that my legs would never allow me to try. Peach was on the couch but no one was next to her, so I hollered, "Lissy?"
"Benji?"
A disembodied voice called from the kitchen while I slowly made my way through the room, limping as I held the wall. I was surprised to see Leah and Kenny huddled by the island with coffee mugs in hand.
They had been crying.
Shit.
My legs felt like jelly.
Everything blurred and I felt Kenny grab my waist, gently helping me sit down at the table. "Benji, we love you and are here, okay. Nothing changes. Lissy is with Remington and we will take you there as soon as you feel ready?"
I nodded, my brain processing but I noticed Leah was texting and knew she was letting my sister know I was awake. The pieces were fitting together now.
Greg must have died last night.
Remington must have called Lissy so she could help and she knew what to do. She always does. She didn't want to wake me up and make me see that. She wanted to protect me.
They didn't have to say anything.
I felt that he was gone.
It was like part of me died.
Peach was immediately right in front of me and tear drops fell onto her face before she pawed her way into my arms, hugging me and licking my face as I began to sob and wrap my arms around this precious dog.
My head felt weird and everything started ringing.
Kind of like right after the train wreck, when the crash happened and the car exploded. I felt fuzzy and like nothing made sense. Peach kept me grounded and I kept rubbing her fur, practicing my breathing like Lissy always taught me.
"Okay, Peachie girl... one... two... three... four..." I counted quietly, inhaling while she stared into my eyes and seemed to get why I was so sad.
She looked sad, too.
I guess that makes sense. She loved him and probably knows he's gone. Lissy told me dogs are really smart and pick up on feelings better than humans can so Peach probably knew before I did.
It was only a couple minutes and I heard a frantic scream of, "Beep?!," before Lissy was racing toward me and crashing into us as well. Remington approached next and we stayed like that a long while.
I needed more time.
I needed more stories.
I just felt comfortable calling him "Dad," which was the most amazing moment ever. It made him so happy and felt so right for both of us.
I don't know how much time passed but everything stayed really foggy. Leah brought us glasses of water so Lissy and Remington pulled seats close to me and let us know how things went so far. The coroner had gotten Greg's body so now it was just a matter of the funeral and burial.
Saying Goodbye.
"I barely said Hello..." my voice cracked, hoarse from crying, "How am I supposed to say Goodbye?" My sister's eyes met mine and hand slid across the table, reaching for me. Remington rubbed my back and I looked over at him, my heart broken even more when I remembered all we talked about and how he told me about being sad that he was going to lose his only family. "Remi? How can we be there for you?"
He looked at me and furrowed his brow, tilting his head just like Peach does when I hide her frisbee behind my back and confuse her.
Lissy stood and moved, scooting around to kneel in front of Remington. She gently took his hands in hers, voice calm and soft like it usually is with me when I am at my worst. "Baby, we are here. You are not alone. I promise. We won't let you be alone."
Remington wasn't looking at her but seemed just kind of like his body was here but he wasn't.
That makes sense.
It's how I feel.
I can't speak. It's like I'm trapped inside this shell and need to just function one breath at a time.
Leah said something about food but my stomach rumbled and I felt really sick. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up, quickly feeling a cold washcloth on the back of my neck as Lissy softly sang "Landslide," while sitting on the side of the tub and comforting me.
"Oh, take my love, take it down...
Climb a mountain and you... turn around..."
Her voice shook and when I caught my breath I turned, noticing the dark circles and how exhausted she looked. I felt her hand wrapped around my wrist and my mind began counting as we started to sync our breathing while I tried to regulate my body, struggling just to do anything I could to give Lissy some relief.
She needs a break. This is crushing her heart, even if it's a different kind of grief than mine.
I know she loved Greg also. She also loves me and Remington, so seeing us in so much pain, not to mention helping Remington this morning, has to be devastating.
"When?" A single word escaped in a breath as I rested on my arm over the toilet seat. Liss grabbed a hand towel and wet it in the bathtub with cool water, wiping my face with one hand.
She waited a few moments, maintaining eye contact and nodding along as we breathed, before sniffling as the words tumbled out. "He called at 2. He got up and just.. Knew. Beep.... Beep... he had no idea what to do. It was ."
Lissy burst into tears and I sat up straighter, moving closer to hug my sister and try to comfort her. I can't imagine how hard that would be. She always has to be the rock for everyone else, but no one is usually there for her.
"Thank you for going without me."
Lissy nodded, releasing a long breath as we both kept trying to collect ourselves. It didn't have to be said. We needed to get it together so we could be strong for Remi.
She helped me up, replying, "You didn't need to see that. I called Leah right away and she came over. Kenny came with me and helped me get everything handled for awhile but had only just gotten over here when you woke up. We called Doc at about 6 since she needed sleep and would not be able to do anything anyway, so she and Jesse know now also."
"You did the right thing." I confirmed, meeting her eyes in the hallway before we rejoined the rest of the group.
Kenny met us as he was heading out the front door, car keys in hand. "Hey, I'm gonna run to the... I mean..." He cocked his head at Remington, passed out on the couch in exhaustion and sighed. "Would you like me to run to the house and grab him a few things? Some clothes and stuff like that? I can clear out the fridge a bit also."
"That would be wonderful, Kenny. Thank you so much for all you and Leah have done. We could never have handled this without you two and Doc." Lissy hugged him and they shared a soft smile, "Maybe let's take some time and Doc will be by soon with Daisy. She was going to spend some time with her this morning after telling her."
He smiled at Lissy and shook his head, "I'm just glad I could be there for you. Greg meant so much to me, too. You guys are friends and I'm thankful we can help. Leah has to run home to let our dogs out but will be right back."
Kenny headed out, waving as he left, while Leah did the same. My sister encouraged her to take a nap when she was home since apparently she was expecting a baby which I was not aware of before that time. It was weird to hear really really happy news when I was so sad. My brain kind of malfunctioned when I said "Congratulations!!" but Leah blushed, thanking me and Lissy as she agreed that some sleep was a good idea.
"That's exciting," I said, watching Leah walk home from the window before turning to Lissy.
She grinned, "I could not wait to tell you. I hate that it happened this way, but I've known for a week or so. You feel okay?"
"I don't know. Weird."
"Weird?" Lissy questioned, chuckling lightly while she wrapped her arm around me and led me to the kitchen.
I sighed, "Yeah. I'm not sure how to feel. I'm so happy for them but like... I'm also really sad."
"I know. It's hard to put your feelings into boxes, Beep." She rubbed my hair and smiled softly, pausing as we stood by the island before continuing, "But sometimes those happy moments make the sadness easier to muddle through, ya know? Mini Kenny is going to be such an adorable baby, and with the puppies they will have from that foster dog they're going to be getting any day now I cannot wait. Leah is so excited.... And Greg knew, Beep. He knew and was so thrilled..."
"He did?!" I gasped, now more interested in this baby than I was before.
My sister grinned, nodding as she added, "Yep, they showed him the ultrasound. Kenny told him all about it and even showed him video. Greg was so excited."
Now I smiled, heart finally feeling some relief for the first time since I saw guests in the kitchen this morning. I sat down at the counter and sighed, "Thank you for telling me, Lissy. That really does help."
She smiled and grabbed me a Gatorade then started some pour over coffee before getting a watermelon out and starting to cut it into cubes. Peach was pawing at Lissy for treats but I called her over to me so she wasn't in the way. Just doing something normal like this helped my brain stop feeling so sad. Seeing my dog happy made me feel something other than grief.
Lissy was right. Knowing good news can give our hearts a break.
I thought back to what she said earlier and realized that since Doc was there this morning then went home, Daisy would have been alone.
Shit.
"Hey, Lissy?"
"Hmm?" She looked up, eyebrows raised and mouth full with a big piece of watermelon before sliding a bowl of fruit toward me.
I chuckled and accepted the snack, then asked, "So does Daisy know?"
Liss froze, knife in mid air, before she continued chewing then was able to answer. She let out a long breath and nodded, "Yeah, Beep. Doc said she would talk to Daisy then spend some time with her before coming by. I'm sorry for cutting you out of that discussion but it felt like that was the best way to handle things."
I listened closely and was glad my sister was speaking slowly and using a really sweet tone.
Daisy is going to be heartbroken.
Now my own pain felt like it didn't matter when I started to consider how she was going to feel.
Lissy seemed to notice my shift in perspective and set down the knife, moving around the counter to cup my cheek. "Beep, Daisy knows she is safe here. That we will have her back and that this is a family, whether or not we are blood related. She knows that you are safe and that Remington is, too. We are all going to be okay, I promise."
The words came out ragged since she had a hard time speaking through tears.
I nodded and slumped on the stool, face falling into my hands. Lissy rubbed my back but stepped away for a moment, returning with a glass of water and Tylenol. "Here, you should take some meds since I am positive this will mess with your head and everything else. You always get a headache when you're upset."
She chuckled lightly which made me smile as Lissy kissed my cheek, hugging me tightly before releasing another sob. I tried to remind myself that this was what we expected.
I had a hard time getting anything down but followed her instructions anyway, eventually sipping half the Gatorade and then eating a piece of toast with jam. That plus a couple bites of watermelon helped settle my stomach before going outside to play with Peach.
The morning was gray and rainy, which was appropriate considering the circumstances. Kenny and Leah got back to our house at about eleven. He brought in a few bags of groceries and two duffel bags of clothes along with Remington's laptop and other gear. I knew once my brother was awake and coherent he would really appreciate everything that was now at our house.
Lissy tucked all the bags into her room so they were set aside. She let me know we would just plan on Remi crashing at our place for awhile and go from there which is what I expected, anyway.
They're couple goals, as Daisy and Trisha always say.
Daisy always calls them an "OTP," too. I had to Google what that meant. She's right, though.
Of course they want to be together more.
Remington woke up from his nap shortly before their arrival and was also given a Gatorade and Tylenol, but gratefully took the meds and chugged his drink. He looked like he was barely existing. His eyes couldn't focus on anything so Lissy had to gently grab his hand so Remi could take the bottle of sports drink. She was literally leading him second by second to do the simplest things. It made sense, of course, but was still kind of scary to watch.
"Kenny got you some stuff from the house," I said as he swallowed pain pills and anti-nausea meds, wincing at the flavor since they always dissolved on the way down your throat.
"He did?"
I nodded, smiling as Remi looked toward Kenny while he and Leah prepared their coffee in the kitchen. "Yep. He offered to run to the house and clean out the fridge plus grab you a few things. Your bags are in Lissy's room."
Remington grinned and clapped his hand on my shoulder, "So I kinda woke up a little here and there. Did you hear about the baby?"
"Yes! I'm so excited!" I smiled, mind now back on thoughts of new puppies scrambling over a new baby which would have to be the cutest thing ever. Daisy has shown me Tiktoks of wholesome shit like that and I had to admit it was adorable. Now we can watch it happen in person. After a minute I decided to press further, asking, "So... uhh... Dad knew?"
He nodded, blinking quickly as tears started to fall again while answering, "Yeah. He was so excited, Benji... Kenny was over the moon of course when he told us the other day and Dad could not wait for you to find out."
I paused, thinking about how much joy this news would have brought, and how happy he was in his last days. "I guess if nothing else we got to make him really happy. That makes me feel good."
All he could do was nod, sniffling as his face screwed into tight frown. I rubbed my brother's back, leaning my head on his shoulder, before Lissy noticed and zipped over to his side to do the same.
"We're here, baby. I promise we're here." Her sweet voice was quiet but just those simple words made his breathing easier within seconds. I noticed she slid her hand around his wrist and began quietly counting so his breathing could sync.
My heart felt funny when I watched my sister soothe Remington.
I hate watching them in pain. I hate being in pain. At the same time, seeing everyone grow closer as we try to figure out how to handle this is a good reminder that moving here was the right decision.
Remington kept nodding, hands rubbing together while we sat comforting him for a few minutes. Kenny and Leah came into the living room to sit with us for awhile, the conversation changing quickly as my sister asked how she was feeling after some sleep once they joined us. She filled us in with her hand on her stomach and I finally noticed the bump that had grown. Now I got to hear that she was due in January so she was considered three months pregnant at this time. Kenny joked that she got pregnant on April Fools Day but Leah slapped him on the back of the head for that.
The joke made Remington burst out laughing, though. It completely shocked him which was a good thing to see.
Pockets of joy, even in the middle of one of the hardest days I've ever had. I still wasn't sure how to feel about laughing since part of me thought it was disrespectful, but Dad loved laughing. He loved when we joked around and would roast me just as much as Lissy.
This is what he'd want, right?
By the time Doc and Daisy were about to arrive at almost noon, Lissy was buzzing around the house making a frittata for us with leftover veggies to try to keep herself busy. Remi nudged me and kicked back his head, looking into the kitchen as he asked, "Is she always like this when shit hits the fan?"
"Yup. Liss goes into Type A mode so get ready for perfectly set tables and hospital corners on the bed." I let out a hollow laugh, shaking my head as I remembered days where my sister would scrub the floor on her hands and knees.
"Fuck," he groaned.
I laughed, slapping his leg before I stood. "I'm gonna go to my room. Gotta clear my head."
"You good?"
I laughed, walking away as I answered, "Nope."
The door closed harder than I intended but I didn't care.
How was I supposed to feel?
I opened up my Instagram and sent a message to Jason, my best friend at home... my old home. I wasn't sure whether this was home or Atlanta, since I was so torn on a daily basis. There were times like last night when Liss was giving me crap for waving around my cast and Dad was cracking up...
Dad was cracking up...
I switched apps and opened my camera to swipe through videos I had taken, finding one from the previous day when Dad and Daisy were in a heated debate for Park Place while we played Monopoly. Daisy was short on cash but had a ton of property and already had Boardwalk. Dad wanted her to give him all three of the light blue properties which she owned with hotels in return and argued his case based on the payoff.
They got into a major discussion and I had to grab my phone, laughing as Daisy nearly squealed when Dad insisted it was fair while she was adamant this deal was highway robbery. Of course she made the trade and as soon as he landed on Park Place was rewarded with plenty of money to prove his point.
Dad was right, but Daisy won the game. It was the perfect solution.
The video was short but made me laugh between tears, Daisy's fiery passion and Dad's calm persistence. He got his light blue properties and cackled merrily while waving around the cards but she was respectful the entire time, teasing him as we always did.
Dad was part of the group. Of course he was sick. We could tell when he felt weak, and accommodated with more movies and relaxation time. There were so many times where he would take a nap in my or Lissy's room while we watched a movie or took Peach outside, allowing him a break from the action.
We did our best to make sure he always knew how important he was, no matter what was going on.
And now, knowing there is a baby on the way, my heart aches even more. He would have loved seeing Leah and Kenny become parents. I realized now he will also miss Remington and Lissy as they get engaged and married which made me even more upset as well.
He'll miss having grandkids... which will be my nieces and nephews.
That must break their hearts, too.
Knowing he got to watch them start to fall in love and see so many sweet moments would be great, but not enough.
It's never going to be enough. Of course I'm glad I got to meet him, but maybe...
No.
I shouldn't do that.
I shouldn't think about what would have happened if I never met Dad or we never came here. What would have happened if we went to California instead of Tulip Tree.
How life would have been different if we didn't follow our hearts.
I wiped my eyes then curled up on my stomach, cuddling a pillow as I swiped to another video. This one was from Remi and Dad's house and our guys' day, showing Trent as he gave Peach a piece of watermelon in the backyard. Dad was nearby and laughing as my dog's eyes grew wider while the boy giggled with each bite she took.
He loved Peach so much.
Dad said he always considered getting a dog but just couldn't be bothered. I was so glad Lissy let us get Peach, and when Leah and Kenny had her it was the perfect set up. We got to become closer friends with people we already trusted and we are able to adopt an incredible dog that needs a home. Michael Scott would not be able to find a better win/win/win.
"Ben?" My door creaked open and Daisy peeked inside. "I come bearing gifts."
I sat up and sniffed, wiping my face again as she entered with a to go cup and bag from McDonalds.
"Sausage McGriddle with cheese and hash browns. Coke. Just what you said is one of your faves, right?" Her voice was quiet and I could tell she'd been crying. Daisy was so easy to read. The familiar sweet smile was sadder and those beautiful brown eyes were tinted red, tears still welling in her eyes as she sat on the edge of my bed.
"Thanks, Dais. I should probably try to eat..." I offered a smile, taking a sip of Coke and appreciating the assault of sugar on my system. I knew she did this to help me feel better. Daisy is just like Lissy in that way- she does everything possible to fix things, so I need to at least make an attempt so she can feel a bit better. "Wow. Yeah, that's good."
She smiled, ducking her head while spinning to sit cross legged. "So. Wanna talk? Or wanna play Settlers of Catan or something so we can take turns and you have a chance to eat?"
I grinned, thankful for the chance to hang out with Daisy and not have any pressure to do anything but relax. "Catan, definitely. I don't think I can talk without puking again."
"Ben!" She exclaimed, voice pleading as her eyes seemed to fill with tears.
"I'll be... I mean... I don't..." I struggled to reassure her since I had no idea what to say.
How can I possibly help Daisy feel better when I feel awful?
"Just... Ben... just.. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Also, I'm gonna be blue." Daisy laid a hand on my cast as she met my eyes for a long moment, sending shivers down my spine at how intense the statement was.
She hopped off the bed and left my room, returning with her phone and her own drink from McDonalds. "I already ate, but the frittata Liss is making looks incredible so I'm gonna have some of that soon. She promised me goat cheese."
I smiled as Daisy scooted so she was sitting next to me, leaning against the headboard as we started a round of Settlers of Catan. The food they brought me stayed down, thankfully, and by the time our first game was done I was laughing and shouting as she completely crushed me.
"Daisy Christine Edwards, you are an absolute animal!"
Her giggles filled the room while Liss and Remi peeked in, smiling at us as they checked in again. "Frittata is done, guys!" Liss said, "Want to eat on the deck? Peach needs out and some air would be good, Beep. The rain stopped for a bit and we pulled the cushions back out."
I agreed and got my boot on again, sliding my leg into the plastic case with a sigh. Daisy helped me clean up trash while we got food together and everyone set up on the patio table. Kenny and Leah had slipped back to their house so she could rest more but I was glad they spent time with us earlier. It really did help me feel better and I knew Remington was reassured as well.
Liss and Remi had a pot of coffee with a pitcher of orange juice already on the table, platter of cut fruit also waiting to be enjoyed. She had goat cheese and sour cream on the table for the frittata along with cold roast chicken for anyone who wanted to go cannibal and have chicken with their eggs.
I love doing that. It's one of my favorite things ever. Lissy always laughs but we have the same twisted sense of humor.
"Thank you for getting me McDonalds, Doc." I smiled as she was setting a stack of plates on the table.
"Any time, Benji. Seriously, we are here for you both so trust me when I say we are sticking around."
Her words made my heart ache but in a good way. It was the same thing Daisy said but somehow knowing they would not abandon me helped everything feel better.
Then again, that makes sense.
Lissy did the same when our parents died and has done the same now for Remington and me.
My sister was the last to walk out of the house and looked behind her, then at the table like she was missing someone. She shook her head and seemed to look sick a minute before shutting the sliding door and coming to the table.
"Baby?" Remington asked, standing to grab the frittata pan from Liss as she approached.
She seemed startled and did not seem to want to answer but finally whispered, "I felt like we were missing someone then realized why and just..."
Remi set down the pan and pulled Lissy into a tight hug, tucking her head into his chest as she sobbed. I saw the pain in his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose, grief written on his face.
Everyone was frozen in their own reaction.
We understood and felt the same way.
Doc had a place set for him and we didn't even realize until she looked around the table and gasped, snagging the extra plate and sliding it under her own. I noticed her move and just nodded, a silent acknowledgment that I got what she meant and appreciated her quick fix.
No one is going to trigger us on purpose. They didn't when my parents died before, at least. These things happen on accident all the time and probably will for months and years. We just have to manage ourselves so we can handle the emotions when they happen.
Liss calmed herself as quickly as she could, thanking Remington for his comfort then apologizing to everyone for her outburst. I knew her well enough to know that she would do everything possible to keep herself together. She wants to be strong for all of us. It's her whole schtick. My sister is always the lighthouse in a storm for everyone else. She doesn't go to other people- she's the one we go to.
Then again, I guess maybe she does need someone, too. She has Raina, her therapist, but still. It's kind of unfair to expect her to let everyone dump their troubles at her feet when she literally has no one to rely on. Remington tries, but it's not the same. I decided to try harder, if for no other reason than so I could keep practicing so I can be more of a support for Daisy since she's gonna need it as we get older.
"Let's get one thing straight here, young lady," Doc started, smiling gently, "There is never a reason to apologize for grief. Take your time and let things happen as they need to. You guys have already suffered through so much, so this is a huge blow. It will be a lot to process."
Remi's phone rang and he excused himself a moment while Lissy began dishing food around. "Beep? Still hungry?"
"Nope! Doc and Daisy fixed that, but I'll have some fruit so I can share with Peach," I grinned, taking a piece of watermelon for myself and handing one to the dog.
My sister chuckled and shook her head, "I'm glad they got you something. I couldn't stomach that much grease today."
Doc gently rubbed her arm, "I had a feeling the green juice would be better for you."
She held up a bottle of something that looked like liquid grass and smiled, "It's delicious!"
I pulled a face, shoving a finger down my throat before retching. "Oh gross!"
Daisy laughed, shaking her head as she crumbled goat cheese onto her eggs. "I think you'd like it, Ben. It has lots of pineapple juice in it so that's the main thing you taste."
"Nope. I'm good with my Coke and Gatorade." I stuck my nose in the air and pursed my lips, refusing to even entertain the idea of drinking something made of only green things covered up by pineapple. That poor pineapple juice is a red herring. It's a travesty.
Remington returned and grabbed the spoon to dish frittata onto his plate before also serving Lissy. They shared a glance with each other and my heart warmed as I watched how gentle they were together.
He needed that, but so did my sister. She's so used to doing everything herself. I love seeing him take the reins. Remington has no problem stepping up so I encouraged him to just go for it. Order the meal at dinner, grab her a drink, whatever it is, Lissy will not mind. He was hesitant at first but I pushed him toward seizing every opportunity he could as a way of serving the woman he loves.
Looks like my advice paid off.
I remembered our guys overnight and how my brother shared the fears he had about being alone. He was never close to our Dad and once Reese died lost the only person he ever felt understood him. No one had ever shown him actual empathy before Lissy. He never felt like someone was willing to give him a fair chance. That's why I wanted him to step up more, especially knowing how much she has on her shoulders. It was the perfect solution.
We've tried so hard to make sure Remington knows he won't be alone again but I guess that's what people want to do for me now also.
Funny thing is I know I'll never be alone.
I have my Lissy... and now we both have Remington and Peach.
Peach came back around for another piece of fruit so I grabbed a slice of apple and handed it to her, taking a tennis ball from the porch then tossing that after she got done with her treat. "So, what now?" I asked, letting out a sigh while watching my dog chase the ball.
"The funeral home director is going to stop by later today so we can talk about logistics. I offered that we could come there but he insisted that stopping here was fine with him. He's new to the area so doesn't know many people yet." Remington explained, sipping his coffee a minute before he continued, "Dad already planned everything. He wanted to be buried next to Reese so he already had a plot purchased and casket bought."
"Ohhh, Greg..." Liss sighed, wrapping her arms around Remington's bicep and kissing his shoulder. "That makes complete sense. We can do a whole service for him. Say a few words, that kind of thing."
"Yeah... that's a good idea. I just don't even know..." Remi started, but looked down at my sister as she stared at him trying her best to see the silver lining in this storm.
We sat quietly for a few minutes, finishing our food and talking about silly stupid daily stuff like what to make for dinner and whether we should make cocoa or brew some tea.
I felt really weird talking about something like cocoa when Dad was dead, but it also felt safe so I wasn't going to say anything. Back when my parents died six years ago I don't remember much besides being really sad and Lissy doing everything for me. Now that I'm older and more aware of what's going on this is a much different experience.
It started to rain again, the sky opening with a gentle mist of rain. Lissy and Daisy squealed, grabbing food and drinks as they scrambled to get everything inside. Once the food was safe Liss came back on the deck, staring at the sky with her arms out as she was instantly soaked.
"What are you doing?" Remington asked from inside the house as he laughed while she spun on the deck.
"Daddy always said to bloom where you're planted. I'm getting watered." My sister smirked and reached toward him, raising her eyebrow. "You know you want to..."
Of course he followed along, taking her hand as she pulled him into the yard. I shut the sliding door and kept Peach inside with me as we watched them laugh and twirl while the thunder crashed in the sky.
"Is she gonna be okay?" Daisy asked, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"Yeah. I promise." I laid my arm on her shoulder loosely, reassuring her. "Liss loves to dance in the rain. This is her favorite."
Daisy perked up and grinned. "Really?"
"Oh yeah. I would join her but the cast isn't a fan."
She let out a long breath, stepping away from the curtains and grabbing her phone. "More Catan or should we get some video games?" Daisy winced as she asked, aware of our memories with Dad doing exactly that.
He went from swearing off video games after Reese died to becoming an absolute monster on Mario Kart and Kingdom Hearts. Dad's reflexes were a bit slow but he was brilliant and would dive in, competing to the best of his ability every single time. When he needed a break he would watch as intently as he could, cheering or roasting our performance as necessary.
I sighed and limped to the couch, plopping next to her as I answered, "Lets do something on the Xbox but not one of the games we played with Dad. Sound good?"
"Yeah. Sounds good." She smiled and I knew we were on the same page.
No need to apologize when everyone was struggling to figure out this new world we now existed in. Lissy has taught me to be understanding of this kind of muddy territory, and I can tell Daisy appreciates that. She has always struggled with feeling judged and being bullied so the less pressure, the better.
We got a game of Kinect bowling started, laughing as Doc jumped in and failed miserably on her first try. Lissy and Remington came inside by the time we were halfway done with the first round but instantly needed to change into dry clothes, still laughing at how soaked they were from the rain. Doc grabbed them towels which Lissy thanked her for while Remington had the spark back in his eyes.
I stared as he snapped her with the towel and she screamed, "Remi!!" while they dried off, laughing as he continued to circle while she attempted to dry her hair.
They looked so happy.
It blew my mind to watch my sister, absolutely soaking wet, guarding herself as Remington cackled. He hunted her around the kitchen island while trying to whip her with a towel as he growled and treated her like an actual little lamb.
Lissy screeched, holding up the lid to one of her pans right on time to perfectly block a shot from Remi then laughing as he yelled, "Fuck!," when he saw he missed. They continued circling and we paused the game, now completely captivated by how stupid they looked.
He wound the towel again, spinning the fabric in his hands and whipping it toward her in the air while she finally made a break into her bedroom and slammed the door.
Remington stopped messing with his towel and cracked up laughing, "Hey, my bag is in there!"
"Sucks to be you!" she hollered through the door as he stood in the kitchen dripping wet. He looked like Linus with his security blanket, completely dejected now that she was gone. The now drenched towel was dragging on the ground while he stared at it with his mouth hanging open, trying to decide if it was worth attempting to get dry with the now useless piece of fabric.
Daisy put up one finger then snuck back into my bathroom to get him a bigger beach towel, also slipping into Lissy's room to grab his backpack.
"Daisy, you're the best!" Remi chuckled, wrapping himself in the fresh towel with a happy sigh before heading to my bathroom so he could change. "At least Daisy loves me!" he yelled at Lissy which was answered by a chorus of laughter from her room.
Within a couple minutes my sister came back into the living room, now wearing one of our Dad's old Braves tshirts along with a pair of sweatpants. She chuckled when we looked up as she came into the room, shaking her head at the attention. "What?"
"You two are such a funny pair." Doc shook her head and laughed. "I still remember those first days back at the hospital. It's amazing to see how much you've grown."
Lissy smiled softly, letting out a long breath as she seemed to reminisce about their first moments together.
It made me remember those times, too.
I've also been there since the very beginning.
The train ride was when we both met Remington.
I knew he was special when he helped me get an extra water from the train attendant, Beckany. I remembered her name both because it was weird and because I saw her after she died. That's not something you can get out of your head, especially when you have nightmares about the trauma you went through. My therapist is helping me with that and so is Lissy, but maybe I can talk to Remington about it, too, someday.
Remi and I knew from the first moments on the train that there was something special connecting us. Now it's clear part of that was Dad. We are actual blood relations. I didn't think I had any of those on this planet, but I do...
My brother came back out in a faded Braves shirt as well and burst out laughing as soon as he saw Lissy. "I should have known."
"We are way too predictable." She chuckled, shaking her head.
"Do you need a new wardrobe, Lissy? I'm sure Trisha could help me make you new rompers!" Daisy offered, giggling as they went into the kitchen to get drinks and continued joking around.
Lissy nodded, "Yes! I want new rompers that are hand made, please! Seriously, if you can learn and also teach me then we can also figure out how to knit and then we can make baby clothes. Mini Kenny slash Mini Leah needs lots of adorable goodies."
"Oh my god, yes!! That's such a good idea!" she squealed, instantly looking up something on her phone. I assumed it was whatever you call the thing you get to prepare clothes when you make them yourself. Daisy and Trisha were doing that now and all I knew was that she was going to make me pajama pants with Mario and Luigi fleece fabric that she found online. They ordered a bunch of fabric so I don't understand any of it but it's fun to hear them excited.
Daisy mentioned something about making Remington and me matching pajama pants which I thought was hilarious. Of course I cracked up and gave my blessing.
It took me a minute but I realized Daisy was not surprised when my sister mentioned Leah and Kenny's baby. I turned to her and nudged her ribs with my elbow. "Hey... wait... how did you know about the baby?"
Daisy looked guilty as hell when she turned back to me then gave a huge grin and shrugged, "Sorry!"
"Am I the last one to find out?!!" My mouth was hanging open while I stared around the room at this group of actual traitors. How dare they leave me out??!!
"My mom told me the other day and Lissy texted me earlier that you knew so it was safe!"
I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose, annoyed that I was left in the dark. "Why did no one say anything to me?"
Remington chuckled as he came back into the living room with a drink and plopped on the couch, slinging his arm over my shoulder. "Don't feel bad, bro. Usually people don't say a word until the woman is at least three months pregnant. They did not plan to announce on social media until this week so that's why it was kept a secret. We did not leave you in the dark on purpose, I promise... it just didn't come up when you were around."
His explanation made sense and I had heard the three month thing before, so I nodded and agreed, "I can dig that. You're all forgiven, as long as I get cake today."
Lissy was already at my side and handed me a bowl containing Strawberry mochi covered in chocolate sauce with a fork, eyes sparkling as she asked, "Would you like a couple of these instead?"
My heart melted at the sight of the treat and memories of how Dad loved this the previous night.
It didn't make me sad, though.
This made me happy.
I nodded and could not speak, overwhelmed with love for the man I did not get to spend enough time with. Instead, I grabbed one of the rice balls and shoved it in my mouth, making everyone laugh in the process.
It's going to take a long time to work through this, but that's okay.
I have plenty of great people around me that won't be going anywhere.
That's all that matters.
Author's Note
Sorry not sorry?
I wasn't exactly subtle with the foreshadowing, ya'll.
The entire point of the book was this moment, so you have had 49 chapters to prepare yourselves. I tried to handle things as gracefully as I could, but I assure you this was extremely difficult for me as well. I can also promise that the story is not over. You will recall Remington and Alice both have their own demons so now we have to see how they handle the fallout.
Love you and hope you had Kleenex!
Lizzy