Remington POV
I heard a rap at my bedroom door and cleared my throat before raising my voice to holler, "You can come in, Dad. It's just us here."
He chuckled before opening the door and rolling his wheelchair into the room, watching as I finished buttoning the white linen shirt I chose for my first date with Alice. I stuck with chinos that were dry cleaned and pressed so I could save myself some trouble with pants. That with nice brown leather Oxfords felt like a good balance between "fancy first date" and "I've been lounging with you on the couch while we nap on and off during "The Office" marathons."
I had to look perfect but knew ironing was not my strong suit.
I also didn't want to do too much. It's July in Georgia, so the oppressive heat made me cringe at the thought of wearing a full suit.
Calling myself nervous would be a massive understatement.
"Remington, you need to calm down..." Dad started, moving closer as I tried to slide another button through its hole and failed, fingers unable to maneuver due to my shaking hands.
I let out a frustrated sigh and sat down on the bed, groaning while my hands slapped the top of my legs. "I need to get a grip. I'm gonna scare her away if I act like this. I'm spinning out and can't focus on anything."
He chuckled, patting my shoulder as he replied, "Well, Lissy knows what she's getting into with you. She knows you well enough and has already seen you at your worst in that forest. I don't think you have anything to worry about."
I breathed easier as soon as he mentioned the forest, my mind recalling those moments as a reassurance that Alice won't abandon me for being a spaz when she's stuck by my side during internal injuries and severe emotional trauma.
At this point she has seen more of my negative traits than positive. I chuckled as I recalled earlier in the day after our loaded nacho lunch as Liss cried laughing after I let out a belch so loud that it shook the couch. She had tears streaming down her face as she screeched, "I felt that in my soul!" while Dad waved his hands in the air and he tried to catch his breath, cracking up both at my embarrassment and her complete lack of composure.
The more time we spend together, the more time I need. I felt like every day there were new glimmers of her kaleidoscope shining, showing each of us how special her heart truly was.
"I just want to get this right. She deserves so much more than I can give her." My voice was quiet but I was able to button my shirt now, standing again as I caught my breath and continued getting dressed.
"You already did."
I turned and faced Dad, smiling as I asked, "What do you mean?"
He let out a sigh, eyes trained on the ground a long moment before he finally looked up and stared at me. I felt every ounce of regret as he stated, "You chose the right woman and are loving her with all your heart, son. That's the right thing to do."
It took me pausing to brace myself before I could ask, "Do you regret not chasing after Clara?"
"I always will, but I can't change the past, and to be honest I also can't argue with how Lissy and Benji turned out." Dad admitted this truth slowly, his brutal honesty a surprise as he continued with a shaky voice, "I always assumed I would feel like deep sense that I missed too much. Of course I missed a lot, but Remi you have to admit that those two are amazing and if I had gotten involved... I can't promise they would have turned out the same."
All I could do was nod as he spoke, the reality of this reflection crashing down on me as I finished getting dressed and sprayed Dolce and Gabbana light blue for men cologne then used some pomade to keep my hair in place.
He's right.
Our involvement earlier in Benji's life would have dramatically changed the trajectory of their lives.
He would have come to live with us. Lissy might have come also. Who can predict how different everything would have become if that was the case? I shuddered when I considered a teenage Liss suddenly in my house and knew that would have absolutely ruined any chance of a relationship between us. She would have been a minor so nothing could have come from any connection. I would have only seen her as a kid sister just as Benji is a little brother, verses the grown woman she is now who spent years caring for him on her own.
Dad reminded me to pick up flowers so after a quick stop at Taylor's house to snip some lilacs, I was ready to pick up Lissy for our first date. He encouraged me to keep the bouquet simple and Rebecca graciously allowed me to cut as many as I wanted for the arrangement. Lissy previously commented on their gorgeous garden so I knew this was the perfect choice.
It was a great way to get used to relying on our community, as well. Dad kept reminding me that part of being home was asking for help and being willing to offer myself as a resource as well. That mindset was so foreign to me, but after helping Trent build a birdhouse and giving Kenny a hand with some shelves I was starting to get the hang of things.
The first date was a moment I had been waiting for but I knew this meant everything to Alice. It's something every stereotypical girl dreams about, though most are able to have this moment far sooner. As we drove to their house with a mason jar of lilacs held in Dad's lap I was struck by how her life was so shifted from the norm.
Everything for the last six years has been focused on Benji... now I can take some of the load from her shoulders on that count, too.
We both held so much anxiety about this moment so part of me was ready to just get it over with so our relationship could move on. Rip off the band aid. That's how I felt about our first kiss, as much as it was a beautiful moment that I treasured like a Boomerang on Instagram. Of course I replay those memories constantly in my head. I was also grateful when it was over so we could just get on with things and move forward with the next kiss and the next... then onto more passionate kisses and so on.
Arriving at the house was a blur, especially since Daisy and Benji were already digging into their pizza while pouring cups of soda, ushering Dad to the table where they had the game Monopoly arranged. Benji insisted he had to be the dog token while Daisy wanted to be the wheelbarrow. Dad only laughed, happily accepting the car while Lissy grabbed him a plate of salad with pizza and glass of water.
"We will see you guys in a couple hours. Text if you need us!"
She was so sweet as we waved our goodbyes while the kids and Dad barely noticed our departure. There was a light giggle and smirk on her lips while we nearly ran to her car, eager to make our way to dinner. I took her hand and led her to the passenger side before Lissy stopped me with a hand on my chest, staring into my eyes a long moment before raising to her tip toes to kiss me deeply. She wrapped her hand around the back of my neck, nails raking through my hair while her body drew me closer.
After a moment she stepped back, letting out a long sigh. "Had to get that out of my system."
I laughed and shook my head, wiping my lips with a thumb while she sat and buckled her seat belt. As I shut the car door, all I could think was that this was the start of yet another adventure. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire for this woman.
Her teasing about the second date being after the first was an adorable reminder of this very fact. Everything about our relationship proves we are a matched set. Lissy has no experience but is a quick study. That may be fun for a moment but has proven dangerous more often than not. I tried my best to keep things in check but as a human male that was increasingly difficult. There were conversations to be had but for today I just wanted to enjoy our meal and my birthday.
Once we were seated and ordered I took in all my surroundings, from the restaurant decor to the food options to the people who were watching us as we sat with our wine glasses whispering in the corner like lovers. Lissy was oblivious, texting Benji about how he would out pace Daisy when we arrived for cake and ice cream after his crushing defeat when they ate pizza.
Her innocence was a beautiful trap.
I always wondered how far was too far. There was no length that Lissy would not go for me and I was well aware that I could do anything I wanted to and with this woman.
That's why I needed to be careful. To show her in my actions as well as words that I value who she is, not just what she can give me. I have known from the beginning that her vulnerable openness was a blessing and a curse. It's what helped me grow so close to Liss at the beginning but also leaves her prey for anyone who would sink their talons into someone so pure.
As I watched her sip the white wine I chose, sighing happily while the waiter brought fresh water before she thanked him with a bright smile, I had to marvel at how incredible she was.
Yeah... this is the smile you will see the rest of your life, Remington... get used to it...
The chef began to make our meals but I felt a small cool hand cup my cheek and turn my face toward her. Alice focused with a clarity I knew was reserved for decisions she spent a long time debating. I studied her a long moment and tuned in to four words I was waiting to hear.
"Because I love you."
My heart pounded but I felt a calm throughout my body as the sentence landed. A smile spread across my lips before I lurched forward to kiss her, replying simply, "I love you, too, Alice."
She blushed but rubbed her thumb against the scruff on my cheek, slapping the side of my face lightly before our attention was redirected to the hibachi chef as he began clanging a spatula and lighting oil on fire in front of us. The meal was now being made in front of us on the hibachi grill with all the drama and flair you could hope for. I scooted my chair closer to Liss as she grabbed her wine glass and leaned in, gasping and applauding when appropriate as we enjoyed the show.
Everything felt so natural.
Nothing with Alice was ever forced. It was just effortless, even moments spent at her house were so normal. I took dumps in her toilet like I would in my own at home which was something I never did even at work. There were certain lines I could never get myself to cross but something inside me changed when I met this woman.
She flipped the switch inside me so I was finally able to be comfortable.
Even the fact that I was packing a bag with basketball shorts and a hoodie was a far cry from anything I had ever done before. I never even took a bag to Dana's when I stayed the night. I would only use a finger to brush my teeth with her toothpaste and sleep in the same clothes, then head out early the next morning. Comfort was never something I considered.
Now all I want is to crash on a cozy couch in basketball shorts and throw on Netflix while Lissy is in my arms. It was a shift from everything I experienced before and each moment together made that feeling even deeper.
By the time our plates were loaded with fried rice, filet mignon, shrimp, and veggies, Lissy and I were chatting about which items we liked most as well as the various sauces and dressing offered on the side. She was new to Japanese food and I loved watching her explore new dishes, especially since her mind was so open to everything the world had available.
My eyes flicked to her as often as possible, capturing snapshots of the way her fingers gracefully caressed the chopsticks while Lissy ate her shrimp or how she politely addressed every member of staff that asked how the meal was.
I knew she was nervous.
She knew I was, too
I could tell she wanted to make me comfortable but it was a mutually beneficial arrangement. It felt like there was a lot riding on this date, even though our relationship has already grown deeper than any other I've ever experienced.
One day she will be Alice Maryanne Davidson Lowe.
No hyphen. She already told me she doesn't want to hyphenate but also will never drop her Daddy's last name so Lowe will get tacked on to the end. The fact that this was discussed easily without any hint of awkwardness should have tipped me off to how committed she was before this time, but now that I was thinking about our relationship these moments were fitting together.
The waiter brought our bill and I slid my credit card into the folder provided as quietly as I could, allowing him to take the check without my date realizing it was handled. Her eyes were focused on a platter of mochi balls in three different flavors, tongue swiped out to lick her lips as she stared at the desserts.
Lissy raised her fork with a glimmer in her eyes, smirking as she asked, "Halfsies?"
I chuckled and nodded, digging into the matcha mochi first while she chose a red bean flavor to begin. We continued chatting about plans for the pool party on Sunday and I was struck by how normal everything still felt.
This is exactly what I've always hoped for.
Tulip Tree never felt "right" after Reese died. That's why I had to leave and never come back... I could not spend another moment here, no matter how much Dad begged me to stay or visit. My body rejected the idea of even coming home for Christmas because of how much pain this town held. Now I felt like I could spend the rest of my life here, setting down roots and exploring a city where I have finally found joy again.
"Does Benji need floaties?" I quipped after refilling our wine glasses with the last of the bottle. The glass clinked and I chuckled, "Also, I'm gonna just order a case of this from that wine place we saw on that YouTube video."
Liss snorted, grabbing her cloth napkin to wipe her mouth before responding, "Actually he really struggled to learn how to swim so maybe don't tease him about that around the girls." She raised her glass and tipped it toward me, "And perfect choice with the wine. I approve. Bec has incredible taste."
I took another sip, letting out a sigh before sitting forward. "So, what else can I do to support him now? Besides not teasing about the swimming thing around Daisy."
Her eyes seemed to zone out as Liss stared into space, fingers listlessly twirling her fork while she chewed her lip and appeared to consider my question. After a moment she sighed, finally shrugging before turning to reply, "You can help me encourage Benji to be himself. I feel like he's losing his identity a bit."
"What?" My voice was louder than I expected but her statement shocked me.
There was no way my brother was losing anything.
He was gaining so much every single day! How could she possibly see any sort of loss?
Alice's body recoiled slightly at my tone, breath sucked back sharply before she continued more slowly to explain her logic. "But you have to realize why, Remi. Keep in mind that there has been a ton of change in our lives. He lost his home, his friends, his school... all of the things we were familiar with. Benji lost his bodily autonomy thanks to that boot and cast, too." She was calm but firm, leaning closer and swiping a bite of strawberry mochi through chocolate sauce before holding the bite toward me with a hand cupped underneath. "Here. Try this one and tell me if I should make myself sick by eating more mochi right before a huge cake and ice cream party."
I laughed and accepted her offer of more dessert, unable to resist her pleas even though I knew how much cake was waiting for us. She always knew how to explain things so I understood but didn't feel judged. It helped me see the world from a new perspective and get a better handle on her reasoning. Lissy raised her eyebrows expectantly as I chewed and I shrugged sheepishly, "Little lamb, we are in so much trouble when we get home."
Her laugh rang through the restaurant, head kicked back as she covered her mouth while I just watched the woman I love enjoy something funny I said. Lissy took the next bite for herself, letting out a happy moan as she tasted the dessert. "Yeah. Strawberry is my favorite. Then matcha. The red bean one is delicious but just not my fave."
She pointed to the spot on our plate where each dessert had been located with her fork while giving her assessment. I nodded as she made her decisions and agreed, "Yeah, same. They sell these by the dozen. Want to get a couple packages to share with the fam?"
The smile on Lissy's face grew even warmer as I watched, bringing out light dimples while the freckles that were starting to appear on her face from time in the sun popped out as her cheeks blushed. I loved watching Lissy smile, especially now that I knew this was a face I would get to watch smile as we grew older. I'd get to watch her in sickness and in health, til death do we part. She is the one I want to watch smile at ultrasound appointments and through contractions, at first birthdays and graduations.
Her eyes sparkled as she nodded, setting down her fork and finishing the last of her glass of wine while I did the same. I realized it was getting close to eight so we needed to head to the house, but dreaded the idea of being social.
Lissy peeked at her phone and gasped, "Oh, shit! It's quarter til! I'll let them know we're leaving soon." She began texting the group chat and I grinned, reaching to take her hand as she sent the message.
"Shall we go get even more full?"
"We shall." Liss grinned, "But let's get some strawberry mochi first. I have a feeling your Dad is going to love that one especially."
After making our purchase we slowly walked to the car, the inevitable end to our first date coming faster than either of us would have hoped. Lissy stopped me as we got to the trunk and put a hand on my chest, breath caught before she bit her lip and looked up at me.
"Remington?"
Her voice was timid so I leaned closer, hand cupping her cheek as I answered, "What's up?"
Lissy smiled briefly before letting out a long sigh, almost deflating. "I just...I don't want this to end. I mean, I'm so excited for your party... this is your Birthday of course, but I just..."
Between the expression on her face and dejected posture I had to chuckle. She looked like a child whose balloon floated away. My biggest issue was knowing that all I wanted to do was take her to my house for more alone time instead of heading to her place. "I feel the same way," I commiserated, "But you said yourself that tomorrow is a free day, so maybe we can do a picnic just the two of us? Even in the backyard or something?"
That suggestion got my excited Lissy back.
Her eyes lit up and I heard a gasp as she responded, "Yes! We have leftover salads and chicken from yesterday plus plenty of roasted veggies left. A picnic lunch date for the two of us is the perfect solution!" Lissy's arms wrapped tightly around my waist as her head leaned into my chest, "How do you always know how to help me feel better?"
My heart melted.
I've never been sentimental, but somehow she found the key to unlock that part of me.
How did I spend years in a relationship with Dana and barely tolerate her presence? I can't imagine going a day without seeing Liss now. With Dana it was a struggle to get through a meal.
Why did I allow myself to be miserable for so long?
I set the takeout containers on the trunk and tugged Liss into my arms, kissing the top of her head as I had dozens of times before. "I'm just glad we can do that for each other. I guess that's what love is."
She looked up with the same warm smile, eyes blinking before another hug that made me feel different. There was something about the way Lissy embraced me each time, almost like she was putting all her positive thoughts and feelings into her actions to try and communicate those things to me. I could tell she was trying to show me how she felt instead of only saying with words.
We both knew words were cheap.
Actions are what matter.
The drive home was fast, barely long enough to sing along with Outkast and "Hey Ya," though I had fun laughing at Lissy as she was shaking it like a Polaroid picture. She was unabashed when it came to dancing along with music, whether in the car or kitchen while cooking, so dance parties were a common occurrence. Benji and I laughed our asses off at Daisy and Liss on a daily basis when they started badly belting Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" or Olivia Rodrigo "Good 4 U" while cooking.
It was adorable. They didn't care who saw, they just enjoyed themselves thoroughly. It was obvious Daisy was less comfortable with being so open but Lissy was getting her out of her shell one small crack at a time.
"The worst part about living so close to everything is no time for rocking out in the car," Lissy commented as we parked in the road, climbing out of her seat while she pulled her hair back into a ponytail.
I nodded as I shut off the ignition, "Totally agree. Ideal would be maybe ten to fifteen minutes so you have at least three songs to enjoy."
'Exactly!" Her exclamation was paired with the car door slamming while Daisy was dragged outside with a very excited Peach on her retractable leash.
"Sorry! She started flipping out when she heard your car approach!"
I laughed and jogged around the car to greet Peach while she strained at the leash as Daisy tried to handle her excitement. "Here, let me take her."
Daisy happily handed over the leash but gave Lissy a glance before cocking her head back toward the house. "You guys coming inside?"
"Be right there, Dais!" Lissy replied with a smirk, shooing the girl away as they both laughed.
Benji limped out of the house and waved from the porch, hollering, "Did you bring me anything?"
"Strawberry Mochi! It was so good, Benji, but we think Dad will really love this flavor!" I answered, grabbing our takeout containers from Lissy's car trunk before making my way toward the porch as my date slowly walked inside. I could tell she was taking her time so I could catch up while Peach was bouncing around happily between us, getting head scratches and excited promises of peanut butter or yogurt treats while we had our dessert.
There was a melee as we entered the house to shouts of "Happy Birthday!" from the friends who gathered. Doc was standing with Jesse and Kenny sipping a cocktail so I had a feeling our bartender in training was already prepared with some kind of whiskey based drink for us to enjoy. After wine and a big meal I knew that I had to be careful how much I consumed but was confident it would be a fun night.
"So, we have the Remington Steele Special for our drink tonight," he announced to the group while beginning to serve drinks, skewering cherries onto toothpicks as he continued, "I hope you enjoy!" Jesse chose a play on the Whiskey Sour for our batch cocktail this evening but used mango juice in the mixture plus made it strong as usual. Doc was thrilled, adding extra maraschino cherries to her drink while the teens enjoyed virgin cocktails made out of only juice with sprite for a special treat. Everyone raved at his choice, Lissy and I excitedly downing our first drinks before we even got cake then instantly regretting that choice when we remembered how strong Jesse made his cocktails.
Within a half hour we had fresh coffee with our special made batch cocktails and everyone was enjoying their first dish of cake and ice cream. Daisy and Trisha obviously took great pains to decorate the kitchen and living room with streamers, choosing royal blue and red along with posters that included perfectly traced Braves logos. I was impressed at the effort, especially when I noticed Trent point out napkins with Spider-Man, his favorite superhero. It dawned on me that this was his contribution so I made sure to take two, commenting on what a great choice it was to fit the color scheme.
Lissy slipped into her room for a few minutes as soon as we arrived. I was not at all surprised to see her soon after in one of her comfy blue cotton rompers looking relaxed as ever. There was a stark difference between the woman whose hand shook while taking her first sips of wine at dinner to the one who snorted as she scooped chocolate ice cream onto a slice of yellow cake with chocolate ganache.
This was the real Lissy that I fell in love with. The woman at dinner is still her, but this is the one I want most.
I decided to do the same and changed into basketball shorts so my fancy chinos could stay pressed and stain-free when we moved the party outside. That allowed me to properly chase Peach when we played between rounds of cake plus it was how I felt most myself.
That's the biggest lesson from Alice. Be yourself, always.
"So, how was your birthday?" Trent asked between yawns as we sat nursing a fresh round of drinks. Rebecca cut him off after one dish of dessert but he made the most of that restriction by piling his bowl as full as he could with Daisy and Trisha's help. The girls made sure he got a balance of items and we all kept the boy active to make sure he didn't bounce off the walls when he got home. It had never crossed my mind before but I was starting to understand more of parents concerns about sugar and caffeine. It was about ten at night and he was only now yawning, even though this is way past his normal bed time.
I grinned, taking a sip of my coffee while glancing at Lissy a moment before answering. She smiled back and stretched, arms high over her head as she also yawned before commenting, "Good question, Trent! I want to know, too!"
Now I had to laugh since the entire table caught a case of the "yawns" causing me to yawn, covering my mouth a moment before I answered. "It was the best birthday I've ever had! I got to relax all day watching baseball with my Dad and friends. I got to eat amazing food, then go on a wonderful first date. Now we had a really fun cake and ice cream party. I mean, I got Spider-Man napkins, Trent! I cannot imagine having a better day!"
The boy gave me a bright grin while cuddling on Rebecca's lap, while Taylor chuckled at my response. "So how was the Japanese place? I haven't checked it out yet but Bec and Trish loved sushi the other day."
"So good! We will definitely be going again but Benji has to go along next time," Lissy answered, her hand sliding into mine as she spoke.
I had never experienced someone answering a question for me in a positive way before this moment.
Dana used to do this all the time but the way she would respond was so rude that it always made me uncomfortable. Lissy's gentle tone and easy manner made the conversation flow easily and without any awkward abrasiveness.
Her hand on mine instantly reminded me that we were a team, facing the world together.
I had a feeling that was going to be important for the rest of my life.
"Hey, maybe after your next doctor appointment when you get the cast off your arm! That's in a week or two, right, Benji?" Rebecca asked, attention turned to my brother as he yawned again from his adirondack chair on the lawn. Peach perked up at his feet as his name was said, causing me to grin as the dog recognized something was going on with her Benji.
"Yeah, a week and a half. Well, a week from Tuesday is when they will hopefully take this off my arm," he raised the camouflage cast in the air and waved it around. The weight was always heavier than he expected, causing Benji to flail a bit and brace the broken arm with his other hand while wincing at the effort.
Lissy furrowed her brow as she watched him, tilting her head at the movement. Daisy did the same and shook her head, confusion written on her face. "I can see your shoulder and upper arm move but like... what are you doing?"
I burst out laughing as she spoke and knew exactly what game she and Liss were playing.
Benji thought he was being so funny by choosing camo for his cast. He had no idea how hard he would be trolled by his sister and Daisy every single day for this decision. Those girls have just roasted him each and every chance they got so I should not be surprised they are pretending his arm is invisible yet again. It happens constantly and while I knew Benji was a big fan of this type of banter I also knew Dad absolutely loved these moments as well. Seeing his smile as he realized what they were doing made my heart warm even more.
It dawned on me that this also means when the cast comes off they will probably pretend he spawned a new arm with magic. Maybe Daisy will scream and act like he's a wizard or something similar.
My brother shook his head and laughed in spite of himself, eyes closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just you two wait. I'm gonna regrow this arm and then you'll be sorry."
"Why? What are you gonna do when you have two arms? Why would that make me sorry?" Lissy asked through laughter, her knees now curled into her body as she cracked up at their teasing.
Benji paused, considering the question before snapping his fingers. "Two arms means I can actually ride my bike. My leg isn't a big problem for the bike, but this cast sure is."
I saw the expression shift on Alice's face to a softer glow before she sat up and replied, "I cannot wait to see you take off on your bike, especially since Remi has one now also. You guys are gonna be out riding all the time now!"
"What are we gonna make them go and get us?" Daisy asked, stroking an invisible beard as though she were thinking of errands for us to run.
"Daisy. You don't even know. Lissy and I used to grocery shop by riding our bikes. I can get anything." Benji replied, clearly unimpressed with her threat.
Trisha took notice of this comment and piped up, "Wait, really? Why?"
"We didn't need a car in Atlanta since buses and other public transportation is so popular. We also lived so close to everything that biking was sustainable and the easiest way to go. Saved tons and tons of money for years, so I'm glad we made that choice even if it meant a few memories of getting soaked on the half hour bike ride home with a heavy backpack full of cans of soup."
Lissy's answer was complete and free of any judgment or shame for asking something that was clearly insensitive. She kept the same sweet smile on her face that she usually reserved for her brother or me, calmly explaining the logic of their choice to a girl who obviously could not see past the small town where she grew up.
Benji nodded along, adding, "Yeah, it was super fun. We had hiking backpacks we used and would have to leave at the customer service desk. Then we would pack them up after shopping with all our stuff. Lissy figured out pretty fast how much we could fit and would have a couple canvas tote bags on her shoulders or whatever with like a gallon of milk or bag of potatoes if we had to. She always found a way to make it work."
I looked toward Lissy who now almost blushed as her brother told of the effort she made for something as simple as getting groceries. Her ability to exceed my expectations never ceases to amaze me.
"What did you do after that? Like, did you eventually do delivery or anything?" Daisy asked gently, coaxing Lissy toward safer conversation territory. Now that I was paying more attention to these pieces of her life I was more able to notice those shifts. I could tell that Daisy and Lissy would both independently notice when the vibe felt off and do their part to redirect attention or somehow change dynamics so everyone felt more comfortable.
Sometimes that meant cracking a joke. Maybe changing the scenery by moving out of the room, like offering to get drinks for everyone or switching the TV channel. All it took was a small change to impact the dynamic, especially when trauma was concerned. The more I watched these interactions, the more impressed I was at how much nuance went into Lissy's every day life.
I never paid any attention to interpersonal relationships or sociology before now, but as I fell deeper in love with Alice I wanted to soak up every move she made. A big part of her personality was being a soft place for Benji, which meant cushioning everything he came near. She was a protector, for better or worse, and seeing Daisy step up to do the same for Liss gave me a newfound respect for this girl.
Benji chose well. I had a feeling she was going to be around for the long haul. Maybe Benji will choose to change his last name to Lowe one day... and Daisy will be a Lowe also. She would make an incredible sister in law.
"Yeah, they started doing delivery in our area. I got Amazon Prime for free when I started college which also helped. We did bulk buying and I got stuff on there like paper towels so we could save money that way also. Lots of ways to prevent going to the store, but when we went to the store it was always the two of us with our backpacks." Lissy answered while looking right at Benji, a warm grin on her face as though memories from those bike rides were playing in her mind.
"I'm glad you two did so much biking in Atlanta. I always loved the parks near where you two lived when I visited Remington." Dad chimed in, sipping his water before setting the glass down with a shaky hand. I reached across the table to help steady him and was rewarded with a smile as he continued, "There was this one big park almost like a Central Park type thing that is right by where your apartment was, right?"
"Yeah! That's right!" Benji's excitement was obvious in his voice, especially when he gasped and started swiping through his phone. "I have a ton of photos that I can show you..."
Lissy chuckled at his excitement, responding more calmly, "We went to that park almost daily when Beep was little. Clara worked at the bakery about a block away so he and I would walk there after school, even. I'm so glad you're familiar!"
Dad chuckled, "Oh, well I haven't been very often but enough to know how beautiful it was. In the fall when the colors changed it was just gorgeous."
"Our third story bedrooms looked out over the park so we both opened our windows to a sea of red and orange in the fall..." Alice sighed happily, "Next house I need at least two stories so my master bedroom can be upstairs for that very reason."
I sat up at that comment since I tried to pay more attention whenever she mentioned the "next" house. Liss seemed to notice my reaction and smirked as I asked, "So you would not want a master suite on the ground floor?" I tried to keep quiet, thinking back to a few houses I had browsed on Zillow while we relaxed over the past week.
She shrugged, "I mean, maybe? I guess my ideal is second floor since the sea of colors when seasons change was just..." Lissy let out a dreamy sigh and my brain instantly crossed "ground level master suite" off my mental list for our next house.
Our next house.
Just about five weeks ago I was in Atlanta, sitting alone in my apartment as I stared at my packed suitcase and backpack. I drank a double shot scotch to stifle the bile before grabbing my bags as I locked the door and left to get on a train home.
Now I'm staring at Lissy as her eyes sparkle while Trisha and Trent tell a story about when Trent was at his swimming lessons that morning. He was learning how to dive and his sister volunteered to help their teacher. She poked my side, whispering, "The teacher is a college freshman and he's hot."
I snorted, "No shit."
Lissy nodded, "Yeah, Trish has a crush but I reminded her he's way too old for her. They're just children and need to enjoy high school. No need to rush, right?"
Her eyes lifted to mine and I smiled, leaning down to kiss her gently before Liss laid her head on my shoulder. It was not an entirely comfortable position considering how the chairs were arranged but we made the best of it, enjoying conversation while our evening was winding down.
I took in the group as everyone chatted, Leah and Kenny laughing as Trent threw the frisbee for Peach before she caught it in mid air and brought it directly to my Dad. Bec took Trent inside to use the bathroom while Trisha and Daisy were discussing their fabric option ideas with Taylor. He looked like he was trying to follow along with their ramblings but failing miserably. Doc was chatting easily with Jesse and Liss, her laughter louder now that the liquor kicked in.
Benji was chuckling as he also watched the group when I looked toward him and grinned. "Not a bad day, huh?"
"Liss was right."
I laughed and stretched slightly, shifting away from Lissy to stand from the table so I could walk down the steps to sit on the Adirondack chair next to him. Peach walked up to me with her frisbee, so I tossed it for her as I responded, "Of course she was. So you ate more cake than Daisy?"
"Way more..." Benji answered with a loud groan, "But I regret everything."
My laughter was louder now and Lissy turned her head, pulled away from her conversation to walk down the steps and join us. She sat on the deck stairs as Peach came up for pets, scratching the dogs sides while receiving licks on her face. "You okay, Beep? Need some Pepto?"
He chuckled and shook his head, rubbing his stomach as he answered, "No, but I'll sip some Sprite and see if that helps."
"Hubris, bro. It'll get you every time." I laughed.
Benji shook his head, "No, I have just the right amount of pride. Not excessive."
Now Lissy laughed harder, standing again to move back to her seat as Peach moved on to get some attention from me again. "You're just fine, Beep." Dad was now watching and looked concerned but she noticed his expression and laid a hand on his arm as she passed him. "Don't you worry, Greg. Benji's ego is just fine even though he ate less pizza and more cake than Daisy."
Daisy and Trisha cracked up laughing as soon as Liss called him out, the group now aware of why he was currently being teased. It was normal for Benji to get shit from his sister but the context always made everything far more enjoyable. Dad previously mentioned how much he loved watching their banter, especially after Benji confided how deeply he loves this part of his relationship with his sister.
This means the world to him, so of course it's important to us.
"Hey, my ego is just fine!" Benji announced to the group as he stood while Peach brought him a frisbee. "My dog loves me. That's enough."
Dad laughed out loud, slapping the table at his joke as the rest of our group laughed more at his reaction than Benji's initial joke. Lissy patted Dad on the back, shaking her head before going inside. The rest of the group also followed while I helped Benji pick up Peach's toys. Dad stayed outside with us, scratching by her ear as her tongue lolled out of her mouth with joy at the attention.
He chuckled as Benji approached to collect more toys. "I think this dog will do anything for some pets, Benji!"
"Yeah, Lissy said the same thing the other day," he replied, laughing a moment as we paused and watched Peach melt to the ground while Dad had to reach further to now scratch her belly.
"I love that Kenny and Leah happened to be fostering this dog when you guys were ready to adopt a puppy. It was perfect." I smiled, walking closer to rub Peach's belly before grabbing some dirty dishes from the table.
Benji walked up the steps carefully and helped me clear the table, tucking a few empty glasses into the crook of his arm while Dad stacked empty bowls on his lap before unlocking his wheelchair and moving toward the door. Once inside it was the usual chaos as Liss helped Trent put together a tupperware container of cake for their family to enjoy while Leah did the same for herself and Kenny.
"Dude, there is so much... " Jesse sighed while leaning against the kitchen island, chuckling at all the empty containers littering the countertop. I started to fill the dishwasher as he continued, "They really outdid themselves."
"Get used to it!" Lissy hollered from the dining room, causing a wave of laughter through the house.
We said goodbye to Taylor and his family, assuring them we'd be there on Sunday by ten in the morning for the pool party. Kenny and Leah left next, after a few more minutes checking on Dad and cuddling Peach. His blood pressure was dropping but Kenny reminded me that his nightly meds would help that and to keep an eye on things in case he needs to head to the emergency room.
All we had left was Jesse along with Doc and Daisy.
Daisy was yawning as she slid her arms across the kitchen island toward me before nudging Jesse. "Hey, you coming over tomorrow or do you have to work?"
"I'm off til Tuesday, so I'm gonna sleep in and then be over." Jesse answered, looking into the living room as Doc checked Dad's pulse and blood pressure. "Doc, what's your plan tomorrow?"
She smiled back at us, looking up while setting the cuff aside. "No idea. I need coffee before I can drive. Sleeping in sounds wonderful, though, so if we stop by it won't be until lunch time. We could use all use a late morning."
I grabbed the coffee pot and got another six cups going, choosing a more mild breakfast roast so I could get some caffeine in my system as well.
"Thanks again for being bartender, Jess." I nudged him with my elbow while helping Lissy put containers of icing back into the fridge. "Those Whiskey Sours were so good."
"Mango juice! I never would have thought of that!" Liss exclaimed, patting his back while she walked past to begin putting toppings away.
Jesse ducked his head modestly, watching as she walked past. "I just googled whiskey batch cocktails and scrolled for awhile. I knew he liked Whiskey Sours so mango seemed like a fun twist."
Daisy made a "tsk tsk" noise as she brought more containers to the fridge, sliding them on the counter toward me so I could find room somewhere between other leftovers and takeout containers for more pastry cream. "You did an amazing job, Jess. I loved the kiddie cocktail, too. If what you made for the adults is the same, but with alcohol, then I can't wait til I turn 21 and you play bartender on my birthday."
Lissy burst into laughter before bringing a stack of bigger tupperware into the kitchen causing Dad to join in, now drawn to our conversation instead of his iPad.
"I love that you already have plans for your twenty-first, Daisy," Lissy commented, giving the girl a side hug as she came into the kitchen and hoisted herself onto the counter. I stepped backward by instinct and felt her hands slide down my chest, breath now on my cheek as she leaned closer and whispered, "I ate too much."
"Same," I turned my head and whispered back, tugging at her legs that now lightly wrapped around my torso. "You and Daisy did way too much. I have to start working out again so maybe we can do some walks with Peach every day? I feel gross when I don't run so I just want to feel better."
"I'd love that." Lissy replied, her body shifting so much behind me that I pulled a face and turned to see what she was doing. I caught her halfway leaned over into the sink, attempting to fill her water glass without pulling too far away from me.
Jesse laughed at her guilty expression as we caught her awkwardly sprawled on the counter with a cup under the tap, bracing herself against the wall. "Alice Davidson, you are a whole mess."
"But she's my mess," I remarked proudly as she finished filling her drink then sat up, taking a sip while laughing at me.
Benji shook his head from the other side of the counter then pretended to shove a finger down his throat. "Blech. Gross. You two need to stop all this lovey dovey shit."
"Ooohhh Beep... just you wait" Lissy started, smirking as she rubbed her hands together. I cracked up at her expression and could hear Dad chuckling as well.
"What?" Benji sounded genuinely confused but Dad rolled his chair into the kitchen, empty water glass in hand as he approached.
"Son, I do believe you just gave your sister plenty of fodder..." Dad laughed, handing his cup to me so I could get him more to drink.
I refilled the cup quickly, but offered, "Hey, did you want some coffee or juice, Dad?"
"No, just the water. I do need my medication soon, though. Kenny left me everything I need in my pill box here. Actually... yeah, maybe I'll just have some tea."
Lissy's eyes lit up and she jumped down from the counter, pushing me out of the way as she scampered to the corner cabinet so she could retrieve a tin. She presented it to him with a shy bow and asked, "Can I make you a cup of this?"
Dad's eyes lit up, smile broad on his face as he nodded while she got the tea kettle started immediately. "Do you like cream, Dad?" Benji asked, getting a container I knew held sugar out as well for the cups of tea that were apparently being made.
Lissy opened the tin and I smelled cinnamon and orange, suddenly remembering this must be the tea that Clara loved and always enjoyed. Now I was more excited to try it as well, especially seeing the way Dad intently watched Liss prepare a mug while we all stood watching her work.
"Wow, the pressure is on, huh guys?" she quipped, laughing nervously while pouring hot water over the tea bag.
Dad chuckled, resting a hand over her arm once the kettle was set back on the counter. "I'm sorry, dear. I'm just so excited to have this tea again. It's been so long!"
"I'm sorry it didn't cross my mind to pull this out before now!" Lissy smiled, "Okay, so we always let it steep for at least three minutes and then add sugar before the cream. Deal?"
"Deal." Dad stared at the tea in front of him happily while Benji grabbed more mugs and helped Lissy fill them for the rest of us. We chatted about which cake combinations were best but all agreed it was a toss up depending on what you were in the mood for at the time. Each combination had it's pros and cons so the debate raged on, passionate points made for each flavor we considered a favorite.
It was ridiculous, especially when Benji nearly cried as Daisy told him he convinced her to consider chocolate and peanut butter as superior to pumpkin spice cake.
Benji's eyes lit up and he spun in place, reaching into the freezer to extract a takeout container that I recognized from our dinner. "So, you said there was mochi in here? I'm hungry again now." He set the box down and pushed it toward Lissy who grinned, opening the flaps and shoving it back toward her brother so he could try one of the rice balls.
Daisy grabbed a couple plates and forks, sliding them around the island and added one of the mochi to a plate before handing it to Dad. He thanked her before taking his first bite as Lissy said, "Oh!," realizing something was missing and quickly grabbing chocolate syrup from the fridge. She held up the bottle and shook it with eyebrows raised, squirting a puddle on his plate as she remarked, "You may want some of that. It was perfect at the restaurant."
He smiled his thanks again, slowly nibbling the dessert before his tea was ready and prepared with sugar and cream added by Benji. Dad smiled softly, "Thanks, son. And could I have another of these? They really are delicious!"
I laughed and grabbed another mochi for his plate, thankful he was enjoying the evening. Jesse grabbed the pill box so Dad could take his medication with the tea while we relaxed around the island, sipping cinnamon orange tea and talking about whatever came to mind.
Everything felt so normal.
It was relaxed and effortless, no pretense. We knew we could just be ourselves and show who we truly were.
"So, when is the second date?" Jesse asked, a shit eating grin on his face as he went for a third mochi while Daisy doused the dessert in chocolate sauce before tucking the Hershey's syrup back in the fridge.
Lissy laughed, "Tomorrow. Picnic lunch while you hooligans fend for yourselves."
Benji pretended to be offended but yawned in the process, ruining the affect. "Hey. Lissy. Why would we do that?"
"Because you value your life," I growled, threatening my brother with a fist shoved toward his face.
Dad cracked up laughing while Daisy's giggles filled the room. The sounds combined made my heart soar like it never had before, especially as I felt Lissy's arm slide around my waist under my shirt. Her nails scratched at the skin on my side, grounding me as a reminder that this is real.
This is actually happening.
I'm in love with a woman that loves me back. She helps me see life through rose colored glasses instead of grayscale, allowing prisms of light in the dark corners of my mind.
My Dad is here for the moment and happy. He is finally, for the first time in my life, communicating all the things he should have said for the last 29 years. We may not have much time, but we've done our best with what we were given.
I have a half brother that is not only hilarious, but also the kind of kid I could see myself growing really close to like I was with Reese. We could have a genuine friendship beyond just being related.
I've made the choice to move back to Tulip Tree, officially coming home to rebuild a life in the place where everything once fell apart.
Life is finally making sense.
I watched the group interact but was deeply grateful for the sense of peace I felt in these moments. It was something I had not experienced since brief moments in my childhood before Reese died.
Now... now I get to feel this all the time.
We cleaned up dishes once our tea cups were empty and quick cups of coffee drained. Jesse, Doc, and Daisy left right before we did and were all sufficiently caffeinated so it made saying our farewells that much easier. We all agreed Saturday would be a great day to sleep in and maybe text about meeting up for lunch at our place. Benji took apart the wheelchair in quick order before leaning into the car, excitement in his voice as he loudly whispered, "Can we please pull out those old home video DVD's tomorrow, Dad? I've gotta see more tape of Remi and Reese being idiots together."
"Of course, son!" The answer was fast and accompanied with a bright smile. Dad patted Benji on the shoulder before my brother hobbled off to Lissy as she stood in front of the car and waved.
"See you tomorrow, Greg!" Her voice was quiet but carried well as I stepped back and shut the car door.
I gave him a smile a moment before holding up one finger and turning around to say my goodbyes. Dad chuckled as I reached toward Lissy, pulling her into a hug. "See ya in the morning, Liss."
Her body melted into mine while Benji mock vomited again. I saw him smiling as he teased us before heading into the house, shaking his head at the unrepentant public displays of affection we were now participating in around him.
"You do know it's only gonna get worse, right?" Lissy threatened before he got too far away.
Benji froze and turned around slowly, glaring as he replied, "You wouldn't dare."
I heard Dad chuckling from the car and turned to see him covering his mouth as he laughed at the scene unfolding. The way his eyes tracked between Alice and Benji almost like a tennis match, waiting for the next volley, was proof that he adored every interaction between the two.
"You wanna bet?" she countered, stepping closer as her shoulders squared and fists rested on her hips.
I laughed harder and grabbed Lissy's arms, pulling her back toward me gently. "Okay, Rocky, settle down."
Dad laughed harder at my joke, now causing Lissy to peek around me and grin as he doubled over at their antics. Benji came back toward us and shook his head, remarking, "I work hard all day long and this is the thanks I get."
Lissy let out a squeak before scrunching her nose and sticking out her tongue at him. Benji pretended to box his sister and she played along, playing her best Karate Kid with arms raised like wings and one leg hiked in the air. Dad just smiled, settling back into the seat as we continued joking around for another few moments. He sipped on a bottle of water Benji filled for him before we left but I saw his hand shake more than usual.
I felt awful.
It was after midnight and he was exhausted. Of course he should have been in bed hours ago so I needed to get him home. He was enjoying every second of Benji and Alice's joking around but I still had to pay more attention to reality and watch what was going on more carefully.
"Alright, let's get this guy to bed. We will see you guys tomorrow." I smiled and patted Benji's shoulder as I moved around the car.
Lissy yawned, stretching her arms above her head as she followed me around to the driver's side door. I turned and leaned down to kiss her softly, whispering, "Love you, my Lissy."
She shivered at my words, smiling shyly before responding, "Love you, too."
It felt right.
Everything about today felt right.
I hopped into the car and flipped on the ignition, laughing as "Enter Sandman" by Metallica came on the radio while we pulled out of the driveway. Dad was not a huge metal head like me but seemed to understand why I was excited that one of my favorite songs was on the radio after such a great day.
It didn't take long for the adrenaline to wear off when we got home. Dad was quickly settled in his hospital bed with a glass of water after a trip to the bathroom and dose of pain medication. I followed all of Kenny's instructions perfectly and sat with Dad for awhile as he dozed off, flipping through some of the old photos he found while digging around in the attic.
"That's my favorite..." he said abruptly on a random page in one of the albums. I stopped turning and studied the photos, analyzing why he would choose this picture in particular. He pointed to one of Reese and I from a long ago Christmas where we stood by matching new bikes.
I chuckled as my mind recalled those moments, mental cobwebs dusted away to reveal memories of screams from Reese who begged for months to get that gift.
"I had completely forgotten how obsessed he always was with his bike."
"It's the first thing I thought about when we learned about Benji, besides the obvious physical similarities... made sense, all the things they have in common..." Dad smiled and flipped the pages to another shot of Reese riding his bike, this time with legs splayed and a wide grin as he coasted down the driveway.
"So many similarities..." I marveled, staring at the photo. "They're like the same kid!"
Dad paused, clearing his throat lightly before taking a deep breath. I was patient and knew I needed to wait for him. He looked straight in my eyes and asked, "Do you think he will be okay when I'm gone?"
"I promise Lissy and I will make sure he is." My answer was as good as I could offer, but I knew it was enough. Dad let out a long sigh of relief and laid his head back against the pillow, relaxing slightly.
"Now, son... about that girl of yours..."
I laughed as he began speaking, shaking my head and waving my hands in protest. "That girl of mine??"
Dad chuckled and confirmed, "Well, yes. I'd say Alice is yours. Are you going to marry her?"
"Eventually, but she's young and we want to take our time. There's no rush."
He smiled softly, patting my hand before responding, "Perfect. I'm so glad you are letting things happen naturally. I wish I had done that with .. with my Clara." I noticed a dreamy look in his eyes as another yawn overtook my Dad before I stood and moved my side chair away from his bed.
"I'm gonna go get some sleep now that I've come down from the excitement of today. Love you, Dad. Thank you for being part of my best birthday ever." I leaned down and hugged my Father tight, a pull in my chest as I leaned into this man that I finally felt close to for the first time in my life.
"I love you, too, son. I'm so glad I got to be here for your birthday. I wasn't sure I'd be around for it." Dad's honest confession as I moved away surprised me but I knew it shouldn't.
It was our reality.
"Well, I am home now for good, so we can build new memories together with our new family. Deal?"
"Deal."
He was softly snoring by the time I shut off his light and closed the bedroom door. I made a quick run through the house to make sure the front door was locked then grabbed a glass of water before heading to my room.
Now I could get some sleep once I was able to shut my brain down.
Tomorrow morning I get to see my Lissy.
My perfect mess of a kaleidoscope who is showing me every day how to see things from a different perspective.
I used to dread each day, trudging through life in a dreary daze.
Now I can't wait to wake up in every morning.