I sat on the bed staring at the ceiling.
He kissed me.
I couldn't get that thought out of my head. I hurt him but he still loves me I don't understand why. Who could love someone like me? I'm a mistake, a broken teenage girl who turns to drugs when she's having problems. I'm a girl who runs away from her problems, a girl who acts tough but breaks.
Why would he choose me out of all people? I couldn't help but think why. He can have any girl he wants but he chooses me, the girl who broke his heart.
I stayed up all night not getting any sleep. It's just so confusing. He hated me just a few days ago.
Ugh boys.
***
Things were so awkward today at the meet and greet. Bart stood me next to Shawn, occasionally I would catch Shawn staring at me he would look away anytime I looked in his direction. Once both of our lines were empty I decided to ask the question that's been lingering in my mind all day.
"Why did you kiss me last night?" I asked, I don't know why but I did. "Because I still have feelings for you, It hurt seeing you with Zachary it honestly did. You would think someone could get over a person after five months but during that time period I couldn't help but think about you, you were the only thing on my mind. I only asked Emily out because I wanted to make u jealous." He says the last part quietly. "Oh." I say before a few fans walk over to Shawn to take pictures with him. One of the girls glare at me but I don't know why. The girls left and Shawn turned to look at me.
"I'm so sorry Skyler. I messed everything up between us." He says looking in to my eyes. "You didn't mess anything up Shawn it was me. It was my fault." I say looking away from Shawn.
I know this is my fault, he didn't do anything wrong. Yeah he did say a few hurtful things but it was only because he was upset. But they were also the truth.
"I overacted." He said and I shook my head no. "No. No you didn't, you had every right to react the way you did." My voice cracked a little. I looked over and saw Emily out of the corner of my eye. I looked over to see her crying, she wiped away the tears and walked over to the couch that was sitting backstage. I kinda felt bad for her even though we didn't necessarily get along. She actually had feelings for Shawn, she actually cared about him and the relationship but for Shawn it was the opposite. He didn't actually have feelings for Emily, he didn't actually care about her or the relationship.
"Can we just start over and forget the past?" Shawn asks before two girls come over to us and take pictures. Once they leave Shawn and I continue our conversation. "Can we?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders. "Please Skyler I want to be with you. I want to forget what happened between us and try to be together." Shawns says and I honestly don't know what to say. I want to be with him, I do, but something inside me says stay away from him.
"Okay." I say and he pulls me into a hug. "I really did miss you Sky." He says and I smile, he hasn't called me Sky in so long.
***
Shawn and I are going out tonight but he won't tell me where. He told me to dress casual but I don't know what he means by casual. There's park casual, party casual and a night in casual.
After a hour of searching for something to wear I finally decided on my outfit. I took a quick shower before I straightened my hair and did my makeup before getting changed into my outfit. (Outfit posted in the beginning of the chapter.)
Shortly after I got ready there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw Shawn standing there with a huge smile on his face. "Hey beautiful." He says and I start to blush. "Stop." I said while giggling.
Uh I never giggle why am I giggling now?
He smiles and grabs my hand before pulling me out the room. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?" I asked as we walked down the hall. "Nope." He smiles before pressing the down button on the elevator. We walked to the front of the hotel where a few fans were. Shawn took a few pictures before guiding me to the uber. He whispers something to the driver and he nods before starting the car.
"Please just tell me where we are going. You can be taking me someplace to kill me." I say and Shawn let's out a small chuckle. "And why would I kill you?" He asked and I shrug. He pulls out his phone and hands me one of the earbuds to listen to music. He played Chains by Nick Jonas. Shawn quietly sang along to Nick Jonas as I rested my head on his shoulder as he sang along with the song.
"I missed you so much." Shawn says and I smiled up at me. "I never thought someone like u could have such a positive influence on me." I say and he smiles down at me. "What do you mean by that?" He asks while playing with my hair. "Let's just say Cam was right, I do need someone like you in my life." I smile and he kisses my forehead. "Can we try us again?" I ask and he nods his head.
I missed him so much. I needed Shawn in my life, he's a good influence and one of the best boyfriends I've ever had. He treats me like a princess and makes me feel better about myself.
After a while of driving we arrived at a small park. "Shawn what are we doing here?" I asked as we got out of the uber. The park had a little play area for children and a small picnic area. We walked to a bench that was in front of a small pond with ducks swimming in it. "This is the park I use to come to as a kid. I have a lot of interesting memories here." He says looking around the small park. "Tell me some." I say wanted to hear some of his stories.
Shawn looks at a tree and smiles. "I use to climb up that tree with Aaliyah all the time. One time we climbed up the tree and I guess I loss my balance and fell out of the tree. I hit my head pretty hard and I had a concussion." He says before looking around the park. "Tell me more." I say interested in his childhood stories. "There are plenty of stories I can share." He says before looking around some more before deciding on a story to share.
"I was riding my bike past the lake and there was a rock or something. The bike ended up flying forward and I fell off, I rolled into the lake where a bunch if ducks were. They ended up chasing me out of the pond." Shawn said and I couldn't help but laugh. "You were a clumsy kid weren't you?" I asks and he nods his head.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bench dragging me to the swing set. "Let me guess. You fell off of these before too." I say and he laughs. "Actually Aaliyah has before. She was swinging to high." Shawn says before taking a seat on one of the swings. I sit down on the other and slowly rock back and forth.
It was quiet between us. The only noise you could hear was the occasional car driving by and the trees moving from all the wind. The sun was setting and it was getting colder than it was earlier. Shawn grabbed my hand as we rocked back and forth. The sun was setting behind the hill with houses. After an hour of walking around the park and talking we decided to get something to eat.
We walked to a nearby Dairy Queen. Shawn went to order some food while I sat down at a table. Shawn came back with the food and we sat and ate our food. "Do you mind meeting my parents tonight? If you don't that's okay, I just wanted to see my family before we go back to the U.S." He says sorta hesitantly. "I don't mind. Plus I want to meet your little sister." I say with a smile on my face.
Honestly I'm so scared to meet Shawn's family. What if they don't like me? After all I'm not the best role model.
"Skyler you don't have to if you don't want to." He says. "Shawn it's fine I'll go." I say with a smile. He probably sees right through me. "Are you sure?" He asks and I nod.
***
We arrived at Shawn's house. He unlocked the door and we walked into the house. A girl with brown hair and brown eyes was sitting on the couch when we walked in, I'm guessing she's Aaliyah. She looked towards the door then back at the tv. "Hi Shawn." She says not really caring that Shawn was back. "What no hug?" He asks and she shakes her head no still paying attention to the Tv. "Why?" Shawn whines jumping on the couch next to his sister. "Cause you've only been gone for three days, your acting like it's been five months." She says sarcastically. Shawn pulls her into a hug and she hugs him back. Awe sibling goals.
I stood by the door not really knowing what to do or what to say. Aaliyah turns her head and notices me. "Hi." She smiles at me and I smile back. "Hi." I reply shyly. "I completely forgot." Shawn says while looking over to me.
Don't worry, everyone forgets about me eventually.
"Aaliyah this is my girlfriend Skyler, Skyler this is my sister Aaliyah." Shawn says motioning for me to walk over to them. "Aaliyah where's mom and dad?" Shawn asks and she shrugs. "Probably in their room." She says and Shawn ran upstairs. "MOM! DAD!" He yells while running to what I guess is their room.
I was left with Aaliyah and I couldn't help but feel a little awkward.
What do I say? What do I do?
"sit down and take your jacket off, it looks like you two will be here for a while." She says patting the couch next to her. She seems really friendly. I sit down on the couch next to her, not to far away but not to close to her either.
"You're really pretty." She says randomly. "Thanks, so are you." I smile in return.
"Were you and Shawn dating a while ago? He use to mention a Skyler a lot but I usually would zone out." She says and a let out a small laugh. "Yeah we did date a while ago."
"Well what happened?" She asked. "Um...-" I was cut off by Shawn walking down the stairs with an older woman and an older male. Obviously his parents. "Mom, dad this is my girlfriend Skyler." Shawn says with a huge smile on his face.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. My hands were starting to become clammy, my heart was racing and my mind was racing with thoughts wondering if they like me or not. But through all this nervousness I managed to say Hi Mr. And Mrs. Mendes. I had a fake smile on my face not allowing my true emotions show.
I secretly wiped my hands on my jeans before shaking both of their hands. I sat on the couch with Aaliyah and Shawn. Aaliyah was on one end of the couch while I was on the other, Shawn sat in-between us. Shawn's parents sat on the couch opposite of us.
Shawn's parents started asking a lot of questions about me, they weren't hard questions like where do you see yourself in 5-10 years. I hate those kind of questions cause I would never know the answer. I was always the type of girl to live in the now and not care about the future but if it was one of those nights where I fell into a sudden state of depression I would hope there was no future or a tomorrow. But the questions weren't like that they were more like, how old are you? Do you have any siblings? and Where are you from?
After a while the questions started to get harder, I guess you can say. They were the questions where you had to actually think. "What college are you planning on attending?" Shawn's dad asked. "Um... I wasn't really planning on going to college but I have considered online college." I say while looking down at the ground embarrassed of my answer.
They probably wanted a straight A student going to Yale or something like that for their son. I know I'm not good enough for Shawn, but I don't want his parents thinking that. I guess Shawn could tell I wasn't feeling good about myself because He grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
I looked over at him and He smiled. His parents started to ask more questions like what are your grades like, I obviously lied and said A's and B's. I wasn't going to tell them that I'm getting C's and D's in almost every class because I either don't show up or I don't do my work.
"How many boyfriends have you had in the past year?" Shawn's dad asked. "Three" I say, but I regret saying it after I see his parents 'oh' reaction. It's not that bad. Some girls can get ten guys in one month.
"Are you a virgin?" Shawn's mom asked. "MOM!" Shawn yelled. "What?" She asked. "I just wanted to know." She adds. "That's none of your business whether She is or isn't." He says sticking up for me. "Shawn that's no way to talk to your mother." Shawn's dad says but Shawn just rolls his eyes. "Why are you asking her all these questions? It's not an interview. You've never questioned any girl I've brought home so why are you questioning Skyler?" He asked "We're just interested in her that's all." Shawn mom says trying to calm Shawn. Aaliyah just sat there not saying anything, not that this meeting was any of her business. She just looked at her parents in disgust before walking over to me. "Let's go into the kitchen." She says and I agreed. I follow her in to the kitchen and She hands me a bottle of water from the fridge. "Sorry about them." Aaliyah says. "It's okay." I respond taking a sip of water.
"Shawn I don't like her." Shawn's mom says "And why is that?" Shawn asks you can tell he's angry just by the tone of his voice. "There's something about her, she just doesn't seem right." She says. "There's other girls out there Shawn, find someone better." His dad adds. "I'm not going to find anyone better than Skyler. I love her and you two are going to have to accept that!" Shawn was getting angrier by the second. "Shawn calm down." His dad says. "No. I can't believe you two would say these things about her, especially when she's standing in the other room!" He yells once more. "Isn't She the girl you were crying over for five months?" Shawn's mom asked. "Yes. But I was stupid enough to leave her, She made one mistake-" He was cut off by the sound of his dads voice. "And That one mistake hurt you badly." His dad says and Shawn was quiet for a second. "Tell me you've never made at least one mistake that you regret. Tell me you've never messed up once in your life and I'll drop this entire argument." Shawn's voice was cold and harsh. It was quiet throughout the entire house for at least a minute. "I never knew Shawn could get this angry." Aaliyah whispered before Shawn spoke again. "Exactly." He says "sometimes you just need to forgive and forget to continue on with your life." He says. His footsteps echoed throughout the hallway before stopping at the kitchen door.
"Are you okay?" Aaliyah asked before I could've said anything. "I'm fine." He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and drinks it. "You don't look fine." She adds. "Aaliyah." Shawn warns and She raises her hands in defense. "Sorry." She mumbles and Shawn walks over to her to give her a hug. "Are you still going to visit me and the guys in Chicago for your spring break?" He asked. "Yeah." She says pulling away from the hug. "Okay, I'll see you in a few weeks." He kisses her temple before saying their last goodbyes. I say bye to Aaliyah before Shawn basically drags me out of the house.
The uber was already waiting outside of his house. We got in to the uber and went back to the hotel. "I am so Sorry about my parents." Shawn says while running his fingers through his hair. "It's fine." I say and He shakes his head no. "It's not fine, they shouldn't have treated you like that." He says and I hug him. He seems to calm down and hug me back. He kisses my forehead and I rest my head in his lap. He plays with my hair for a little before saying three words that mean a lot to me when He says it. "I love you." If only He knew how much He really means to me, if only He knew He makes me a better person, if only He knew how much I really love him. "I love you more than you will ever love me." I say while looking into his chocolate brown eyes.
***
Shawn carried me on his back up to his room. He unlocked the door and placed me on his bed. "Do you want to change?" He asked while going through the drawers containing his clothes. "yeah." I say. "Boxers or sweatpants." He asks holding up a pair of black and grey boxers and blue baggy sweatpants. "Sweatpants." I say in a duh tone. He tosses me the sweatpants along with a white shirt. I go into the bathroom and change. When I come back I see a shirtless Shawn wearing red sweatpants.
We both climb in to the bed together. Shawn hovers over me and begins to place small wet kisses down my jawline leading on to my neck. "Your so beautiful." He says in between kisses.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
I feel like the beginning of the chapter sucked and it started to get better towards the end. I've honestly been writing this chapter for days and I kept deleting it because I didn't like it.
The chapter was going to be published at 1:30 am but wattpads servers couldn't be reached and the ending to the story got deleted so I had to rewrite it and now It's 2:18 am. Not that it makes a difference to you guys cause y'all are probably sleeping but I have to wake up at 5:30 to get ready for school and I promised myself I would have this chapter done yesterday but I guess it didn't happen.
But anyways here's the chapter. Please vote and comment if you like it.
Bye ♥