Why is it that after a fight things always get awkward between you and that person. It’s almost like the harder you try to mend things and try to go back to the way you guys were before the worse the situation becomes.
Maybe that only happens with girls because we're so petty and we tend to harbor ill feelings towards each other in our hearts even after the situation has passed.
But it doesn't have to be that way Jake told me that it’s up to you all you have to do is just to let go off those feelings.
Well anyway my friendship with Abby was becoming like what I described before. She apologized to me but I didn't return an apology which might add I add was very awkward. I told her that I didn't have anything to apologize for because frankly I didn't.
She obviously disagreed but I was prepared to put up a fight. Eventually she determined that it wasn't worth ruining of friendship over so we set out or better yet she set out to try to patch things up.
But there were two that were wrong with this. One in order to make it work it would require both of us to try and she was the only one trying.
And two the things that we both said that day were horrible and they hit hard, not something that you can just easily forget. She was supposed to be my best friend but yet it felt like when I needed her most she wasn't there.
She really hurt me and obviously I hurt her too. So now that we were trying to pretend that things were back to normal it felt more of like the complete opposite. It wasn't working at all. We were basically trying to patch a hole in the wall with toothpaste; obviously it wasn't going to work.
I slowly found myself not wanting to hang around her as much or text her as often. Whenever she wanted to go out I came up with lame excuses. I was hurting her, I knew it but she had hurt me too.
Things wouldn't go back to normal so soon and maybe it was my fault or maybe it wasn't. I like to think that it wasn't my fault, I was allowed to be hurt and I was allowed to voice my feelings whether they hurt her or not.
But didn't she also have a right to voice her concerns just like you did? Jake had asked me while we were discussing the situation.
Sometimes you gotta put yourself in the other person's shoes he said how would you react if you were them?
It was a thought I pondered on long and hard because he was right and I guess I’ve come to accept it but not enough to apologize to her.
Maybe in due time I will, sometimes you have to compromise and meet the other person half way right? In all honesty she's my best friend and no matter what I love her but maybe we just need a little space.
I do however feel much more composed now compared to my crazy antics the other day. When I was throwing a tantrum and crying and seeking comfort in some stranger that I met at the club.
Probably wasn't the smartest move on my behalf but something good did come out of it. I made a new friend, a good friend at that.
He's been a great friend these past two weeks and I'm so grateful for that. He's just a friend though so don't get the wrong idea.
So Saturday he took me down to the harbor and we sat and talked. I told him everything from the day I met David to the fight with my mom to the break up. I've never opened up so much to someone before and it felt great.
Surprisingly I didn't cry, maybe it was because he was there to hold me and give me advice.
He told me that I needed to patch things up with my Mom because I only had one mother and that boys would come and go but she would always be there whether I liked it or not.
He made me see things from a different perspective and I was so grateful for that.
My to do list
_________________
Fix things with my mom
Fix that old car
Talk to Josephine
Talk to Abby
Talk to David
Sadly the only thing on that list I was eager to do was fix the car.
***************
"What can I do for you today young lady" the mechanic asked wiping his greasy black hands off on a rag.
"I have a car out front that needs major fixing”
"What’s wrong with your car?" he asked
"Everything" I complained earning myself a smile from the old mechanic. I led him out to the lot where I had parked the car and when we arrived I gestured at the creature with my hands.
"Holy cow! Where on the Lord's good land did you dig up this old dinosaur?" He laughed inspecting the car.
"My dad got it for me"
"Your dad huh?" He circled the car with a look of amusement on his face
"this right here is a classic but it’s gonna take a lot to fix it ....... a lot of time and a lot of money... almost everything in it is gonna need replacing"
"Well I heard you guys were the best, that’s why I came here"
"Oh yea "
"I'll even help out like if you show me what to do and stuff I could you know work on the car with you" he burst out laughing at my suggestion
" I'm serious" I said with a poker face. He paused and took in my appearance raising his eyebrow at my attire. My floral print dress and pink boots made me seem all too girly.
"Ok Iknow all look all girly and shit but haven't you ever heard not to judge a book by its cover? I assure you I'm not afraid of getting my hands dirty and doing a little work." When he didn't respond right away I resorted to begging "please I'm desperate"
"Ok fine I'll check out the cost for the parts and then we'll talk more about this tomorrow"
"Really thank you thank you thank you so much” I squealed bouncing up and down like a toddler contradicting my early statement about me not being girly
"I mean...uh.. thank you sir" he shook his head at me but gave me a warm smile.
********
"Mom can I talk to you for a second?” I asked while situating myself around the breakfast bar.
"Sure honey" she said sweetly drying her hands on her apron.
"I found somewhere that might possibly be willing to fix the car"
"Fix it? Already... didn't you just get that car.... what’s wrong with it?"
"Everything is wrong with it Mom everything..... "
"How much is it gonna cost?" She asked
"I don't know yet I'm going to find out tomorrow after school then I'll let you know. But you know that in the meantime it will have to be in the shop for a while and all of that and I kinda asked the mechanic if I could help out "
"Help out??"
"Yea you know help fix the car"
"Now why would you wanna do that honey?"
"What do you mean why?"
"Well teenage girls don’t generally want to do stuff like that and you've never shown interest in that kind of stuff before its very.............weird"
I could hear the judgment in her voice which pissed me off slightly
"Well does it matter why....I’m just telling you because if he says yes then I'll be coming home late"
"If you're doing this because you think we don't have the money you to fix the car you don't have to. I can pay for him to fix it up for you"
" if you have the money then why didn't you guys just buy me a nice regular car in the first place "
"Honey I played no part in the car buying thing. That was your dad and Andrew....... you know how your father is"
"Yea I know whatever" I said jumping off the stool
"I didn't mean to upset you so if I did I'm sorry"
"You didn't upset me" I said walking away annoyed at the fact that she dealt with me like I was a fragile glass figurine, always worrying if she had dropped it during every conversation we had.
********************
"Hey you" I said poking Jake as he pulled me into a hug.
"How have you been?" he asked releasing me.
"Ah same old same old" I replied boringly "but what’s up with you"
"Nothing interesting”
"Oh really cause your Twitter account says otherwise. And I quote 'sometimes it’s good to take risks, i learnt that from you babe ' heart, heart, kissy face emoji, heart" I giggled while reciting the end.
"Is that what you've resorted to? Stalking my Twitter account?“ laughing I playfully punched his arm "you punch like a girl "
"No shit Sherlock” he stuck his tongue out at me immaturely earning another giggle from me.
A part of me had wondered if Jake was talking about me in that tweet. I mean the night we met it was a crazy night and I'd say we both took some risks back then. But then again he had made it clear that I needed a friend right now .
"So who is she"
"This girl I met at school" I felt a pang of jealousy in my chest. But I tried to dismiss it since I wasn't allowed to feel jealous, he's only my friend.
Who were you kidding anyway my subconscious laughed bitterly in my head, who would like you anyway.
"So what’s up with your car?" he asked changing the topic before the previous one got awkward.
"Oh I went back yesterday he gave me some figures, my mom said she would pay it and I get to start on Monday" I said all in one breath
"Get to start what?" He asked curiously
"Working on the car silly”
"As in you are gonna work on the car?" He raised an eyebrow at me
"Yup" I said popping the p. An amused look made its way on to his face and he urged me to continue.
"Well I figured he would charge me less if I helped with some of the work, you know. Plus I have way too much time on my hands this could be a fun thing to do"
"Fun? Kayli it’s a lot of work are you sure you're up for it?" He questioned obviously doubting my abilities
"Obviously” I said a bit annoyed "you don't think I can do this do you?"
He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly "uh well it’s just ... you can do it I guess if you try really hard it’s just harder than you think it is and I just don't think you should bite off more than you can chew"
That night I went home with a little less confidence than I had before (not that I had much confidence anyway). I mean if he thought I couldn't do it then maybe I couldn't. Maybe I was in way over my head.
Was I really giving up before I had even started because of what he said? I was obviously lacking faith in myself but I depended on the people around me to build it up. So if they couldn’t find the faith in me to do something it probably wasn’t worth doing now was it?
Was that so wrong?
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This is where the story gets gooooooood I promise. The next chapter will be what you've all been waiting for. I’m freaking excited about it. In the meantime please vote for my story thank you I appreciate it.
Story recommendation:
The A-Team by Nyla_kalai
Description: What happens when the mafia wants you dead? You skip town, find your old High School lover, kick some ass and form
The A-Team
Sounds awesome doesn’t it... go check it out I promise it is!