Ryu's POV:
We started working on planning the wedding. Jiyong and Seung-hyun started taking me to spend more time with Jisoo, Jennie, Rosé, and Lisa so I had female opinions on planning the wedding because the girls from Dreamcatcher were pretty busy. They were the only other female group that I actively spent time with since f(x) was no longer together. I saw some of the other female idols on occasion, but still, like when I was younger, I handled them in small doses. Jiyong and Seung-hyun wanted the girls of Blackpink to help me because of how little time I spent around females and the betrayal of Namkyu, so that my wedding wouldn't obviously be overly masculine since I was raised around male idols. It was fun, and the two of them came with me most of the time I was going out with the girls, so it wasn't as awkward.
"So, have you and Jisung set a date yet? Figured out the wedding party?" Lisa asked.
"Jisung is working on the date," I replied to her one day. "As for the wedding party, I'm not sure what to do. With the exception of very few female idols that I don't spend much time with, all my closest friends are male idols."
"Seriously?" Jennie asked.
"Yeah," I told her. "I never really had a tolerance for the overly hyper screechy/squeaky nature of most female idols. So, as the guys would introduce me to them, I was only exposed to them in short spurts. The only other female groups other than you I spent real time with other than you guys are Dreamcatcher and f(x)."
"You don't mince your words, do you?" Rosé asked.
"You didn't hear I called Lee Taemin a jerk when I first met him at 11 years old, did you?"
All four women started laughing at the visual.
"I grew up with Kookie, Yoongi, Taemin, Heechul, JB, Jonghyun, and so many other savage idols around me because I don't remember my life before Jin became my Appa, so I only remember my life around the idols. These guys really shaped how I behaved. Some people think it's because I didn't have a mother in my life, but I don't know. I think I grew up just fine."
"You did, Ryu," Jisoo told me. "Just because you grew up different doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you."
"Thanks."
"Besides, you're so much fun just the way you are!" Lisa exclaimed.
We all started laughing.
"Do you even know what type of colors you want at your wedding?" Jisoo asked.
"Well, that we do know, ladies," Jiyong spoke up, pulling out his phone. "Look at her dress."
He showed them the dress that he had done for me.
"Jisung hasn't seen the dress has he?" Jisoo asked.
"No," Jiyong answered. "I'm keeping it at my place. But he has seen color swatches of the fabric so he knows what colors will be incorporated into the dress. I didn't want him starting to plan a wedding that would clash with Ryu's dream dress."
"Good thinking," Rosé agreed, smiling.
"So, what are you thinking about the bridal party? You could, technically go non-traditional and have guys stand at your side. I mean, if Jisung's male friends are comfortable escorting your male friends down the aisle, it wouldn't be an issue. Or you could ask some of the few female friends you have to stand at your side. It's something to think about because you'd want to figure out if you need dresses or tuxes sooner than later."
"I know. I'm trying to figure it out," I told her. "Right now, maybe you can help me with ideas for the theme of the wedding? If we can figure that out with the colors, then by the time Jisung finalizes a date we can handle invitations right after."
"Is this going to be a big event or a small one?" Jennie asked.
"Just with NCT it will be heading towards a big event," I said, laughing, which made them laugh with me.
We spent the rest of the afternoon brainstorming about the wedding. When we finally split up for the day, I rushed home to make dinner. There was something important I needed to tell Jisung before things went any further, and I was nervous as hell to do it.
When Jisung finally came home, he was smiling. He came right over to me and kissed me, holding me in his arms for a few minutes, like he did every night. It was comforting. Especially after how long we weren't able to between me being missing and me being too hurt in the hospital.
"Did you have a good day with Jiyong and the others?" he asked me.
"I did. How was your day at work?"
"Crazy as always," he said with a laugh.
"Go wash up and get comfortable," I told him. "There's something I want to talk to you about after dinner."
He looked at me, trying to read me. It was something he could always do so easily. In that moment, however, I was trying my hardest to keep him from being able to.
"Alright," he agreed, going into our room.
Dinner was uneventful. We had mundane discussions about our days, and updated each other on what we were thinking about the wedding. After we finished eating and cleaning up, I led him into the living room. When we sat down on the couch, I sat next to him, facing him, holding his hands.
"What's going on, Ryu?" he asked me. "You're making me a little nervous."
"Remember, in the months leading up to me disappearing and even when I was in the hospital, you wanted me to find a way to start coming clean to you about everything about me? That you didn't want me to tell you any more partial truths or cover up anything to try to protect you like I do with Appa?" I asked him.
"Of course I do," he said, his body starting to get tense and nervous.
"Well... there's something I still need to tell you," I started, getting just as nervous. "And while I'm sure there are other things I need to tell you and will tell you as I realize, this is something I feel I need to be open with you about before we actually get married."
Jisung looked a little scared at that point. The truth was, so was I.
"What is it, Ryu?"
I took a deep breath to prepare myself.
"I told you a partial truth, just like I had to BTS, about what happened to me at the graduation party when we graduated high school," I started.
"What do you mean?" he asked, wearily.
"I told you the truth about my drink being spiked, not being in control of my actions when I lost my virginity, that I don't remember what happened, just that it happened, and that Wooseok and Yuto were the ones who figured it out and protected me after they knew... but I left something out, lying about something, to protect someone, Jisung," I told him.
"Who were you trying to protect and why?"
"I know who I lost my virginity to," I told him gently.
"Why didn't you tell me this back then?!" Jisung jumped up angrily, demanding.
I sighed.
"Because I didn't want you to overreact and get mad at him. He had no idea that I hadn't been in control of my actions, that they had basically ruffied me when they spiked my drink, and when he found out, he was already kicking his own ass. Not to mention, we, technically, hadn't started going out yet, Jisung," I told him.
"Who did this to you?" he asked, angrily.
"I'll tell you who, but you need to understand, he's no more responsible for the fact that I wasn't able to consent than I was! The people responsible are still the assholes who spiked my drink, Jisung!"
"WHO?"
"It was Vernon... and he's always tried to protect me without getting too close to me since, acting like I should hate him because he was a rapist or something," I told him.
"Well..." Jisung started.
"DON'T, JISUNG!" I stopped him. "Even a small amount of alcohol mixed with my meds could have affected me badly, taken away my inhibitions, and made me black out in some ways. It didn't even have to be enough for me to be legally drunk, Jisung. The alcohol was just dangerous to drink on my medications. There was no guarantee that I had enough alcohol in my system to outwardly seem drunk. It's just... when Wooseok and Yuto came searching for me later, explained what the others had done, it explained what had happened with me and Vernon. I never looked at him like that, I was a virgin, and considering my history, I would have jumped away from him in panic before things escalated had I been in control of myself. But Vernon didn't know about any of those things in my past until after Wooseok and Yuto told us what happened. And he apologized when he realized what he'd done after he beat our former classmates asses for it. I'm not mad at him for not realizing that I wasn't in control of my actions when I didn't realize it either! He's only starting to realize now that I don't see him as some kind of rapist. He was used in that situation as well."
"Why were you even alone with him?" Jisung asked, defeated.
"I think he took me to one of the upstairs rooms to show me the sunset," I told him honestly. "We were just watching the sunset, talking, and things got out of control, Jisung. He didn't know I had alcohol in my system. I had been sticking to water, juice, and soda all weekend. I didn't know I had alcohol in my system until Wooseok and Yuto found us later. But Vernon is my friend... our friend... I know if I had been in control of my actions and told him to stop, he wouldn't have hesitated. He's not that guy."
Jisung finally sat down, defeated. He knew I was right. We weren't together at the time, and Vernon wouldn't have pushed things if I had told him not to. He knew how Vernon felt about things like that. Especially since I was barely older than his younger sister.
"This is a huge thing you've covered up for all this time, Ryu," Jisung said, sounding beat up and unsure of himself. "I don't know what to think. Are there any other huge cover ups or omissions you have to drop on me?"
"I don't think anything else I've done was as serious as this or everything with Woojin, Jisung. I think most of the things I've covered up or omitted telling everyone else, I told you over the years," I told him honestly. "But, I knew I couldn't actually marry you without you knowing why Vernon became so insanely overprotective of me. After what happened at the party, he swore he'd do anything he could to keep me safe. He hated himself when I told him the truth of why I never would've let things escalate if I had been in control of myself, and he wanted to do his best to make sure I didn't get hurt again."
Jisung dropped his head and sighed.
"You swear to me that he didn't take advantage of you? That you weren't in control of yourself? There are no more details about this you're omitting or covering up?" he asked me, desperation in his voice.
"Jisung, I swear," I promised him. "When I first told you, Yoongi, and Kookie the version of things that I did, it wasn't to protect Vernon from what I considered an unfair backlash."
"Then what else was it?" he asked desperately.
"Kookie called Jaehyun to have you come over to the house the day I came back from the party, Jisung. I told you what I originally told you face to face. My reaction... the fact that I was kinda in shock... that was real, Jisung. Wooseok and Yuto stayed upstairs with me for the rest of Saturday. On Sunday, I stayed upstairs and the rest of our friends would randomly check on me until we all got ready to leave. I didn't know how to process what had happened, especially since I only knew it had happened. I really don't remember what happened. All I know is we were kissing, then it happened, and then Wooseok was calling my phone looking for me, but I couldn't figure out how to answer it. I gave my phone to Vernon because I was too confused to figure out how to answer my phone. Finding out the truth of why I had done something with someone I wouldn't have, when I couldn't remember the details, I was freaked out, I couldn't really process that," I told him. "The only thing that made sense to me by the time I came back was that I wanted you, but I was scared that if you knew it was one of our friends, you would finally hate me."
"You thought I would hate you? Because you knew who took your virginity?" he asked.
"Yes," I told him. "I was scared and I wasn't thinking straight. So I did think you would hate me if you knew it was Vernon. Everything else I told you was true, but without me thinking straight, I couldn't bring myself to tell you I knew who it was because of fear and I was already in shock already. It's why by the time you found me I was curled up with the bunny you won for me wearing your sweater. I wasn't sure I'd be able to see you at all that day, so I thought it was the closest thing to you I'd get. I've known for a while it was irrational, but then everything with Woojin happened and it seemed almost insignificant to bring up the party after that. As I started finally coping with what he'd done, I knew I had to be honest with you... before we got married. It wouldn't be fair of me to let this lie stay between us. You deserved the truth. I'm sorry, Jisung. I get so scared sometimes that I'm just going to do something that will destroy our relationship, our friendship, it's part of why I tried to keep you at arm's length for so long. I was afraid the closer I let you get to me, the more you'd hate me and run."
"I'm upset, Ryu," Jisung told me, finally looking me in the eyes. "There were nine months between when this happened and the last time you saw me before what happened with Woojin. I wish you had told me so much sooner."
He stopped, closing his eyes and sighing.
"Still," he started again, "after everything I went through after we got you back from Woojin, I learned that not everything is worth risking losing someone over. Vernon and Hoshi are the reasons you were found alive when you got away from that bastard. It shows how much he tried to do what you're telling me he promised, to protect you. I asked you to start showing me the real you, not long before you were kidnapped, then again while you were recovering. And to your credit, you have been. Understanding why you got into the habit of handling things like this, having seen the way Jin shuts down when he gets too scared or overwhelmed by things about you, I know it's a hard habit to break. Just, promise me, no more of these. Promise me you're done with this, Ryu. I'm not sure how we can survive together if you won't trust me."
"I promise, Jisung. I'm trying to tell you things, even the things I've hidden before you asked me to fully open up to you. But, I promise, I haven't covered up or lied about anything since you found out everything about Woojin while I was still in the hospital," I promised him. "Just, while this is the biggest thing I was covering up or lying about still hidden, try to be patient with me while I try to make sure there is nothing else? I promise it won't be anything else like this or Woojin, but, if there are any other things I realize I haven't told you before, I promise I will, just be patient because it might take me a while to realize I haven't told you."
"I will, Ryu," he replied. "After all, the doctors did say that while they're certain most of your memories are in tact, they're not sure all of your memories are in tact. They said that while you were fairly functional when you came out of the coma last year there was still the chance that things that might be considered insignificant might be hard or impossible for you to remember."
"I know," I told him, upset at the idea that I've lost even more memories of my life.
"It's not your fault that you may have lost those memories," Jisung said to me, realizing I was upset, trying to comfort me. "You didn't ask to be put through hell."
"It's not my fault I lost the memories of basically the first eleven years of my life, either, but it doesn't make me any less resentful sometimes, Jisung. The only thing I remember before two months before I turned eleven, was watching my oldest brother and parents die in that plane as it fell out of the sky. I can't remember anything about them, and I haven't in a long time. It's why I get awkward with your eomma sometimes. I can't miss my parents or oldest brother because I don't remember them. I don't even remember giving Appa Hwan before he became a trainee. That was almost easier than this is, because it was literally just everything in my life before the plane crash was gone. Now, I don't even know what memories I've lost yet. I'm scare I've lost memories of Jonghyun, Jisung, because I can't make new ones with him," I said to him, before I got up and ran into the bathroom.
Jisung's POV:
It was hard with Ryu after we talked about what happened with Vernon and then her memories. I didn't know what to do to make her feel better about Jonghyun. She was right. If she'd lost any of those memories, she wouldn't be able to make new ones. She stayed in the bathroom crying for over an hour. By the time she came out, she took her emergency meds, her normal meds, and just curled up in a ball to go to sleep. We didn't speak the rest of the night.
The following morning, she was gone before I got up for work. So, when I got to SM, I was glad when I saw Key heading into the studio. Before I went to meet up with NCT, I went to see Key.
"What can I do for you, Jisung-ah?" he asked me.
"I need to talk to you about Ryu," I started and suddenly, I had his full attention.
"What about her? Is she okay?"
"Yes and no," I told him, explaining the conversation about her memories and her fear she'd lost some of her memories with Jonghyun. "Do you think you can help her?"
Key smiled at me sadly.
"Yeah, I think I can. I just need to pay his older sister a visit first," he replied.
"Why?"
"Because she kept basically everything Jjong owned in a storage locker," he started. "Jjong kept keepsakes of just about everything he did with anyone he ever cared about. I'm sure I can find things that might help Ryu there."
"I would really appreciate it, Hyung," I told him. "After she told me, she spent an hour crying in the bathroom, came out, took her emergency meds, regular meds, and just went to sleep. She was gone before I got up for work this morning."
"She's not ready to talk about anything else right now, Jisung-ah," Key told me. "She hospitalized herself when she found out about Jjong. It took Super Junior and SHINee working with her cardiologist until the following afternoon to get her heart rate down enough for her to be discharged because she made it clear, she wasn't going to stay in the hospital and miss his funeral. She had still been in a coma after the plane crash and hadn't even been to her family's graves until about six months or so after they had died, she was adamant she was not going to be in a hospital and miss her chance to say goodbye to Jjong. I remember seeing her in that hospital bed after she collapsed on the four of us. She looked so fragile, and she was so broken, Jisung-ah. Jjong and Ryu were close. They met the night BTS made their first comeback after her transplant. I was with him, along with Got7 and Taemin. Me and Jjong, she wrapped us around her little finger as soon as we saw her and even moreso by the end of the night, considering she'd fallen asleep backstage. Sometimes, Ryu needs not to talk to protect her heart. Seeing as she's only had this one for less than a year, I think she's really trying not to overwhelm it."
"Are you sure that's what's going on?"
"Go ask Xiumin," Key told me. "I'll be in touch when I can help. I'll do it as soon as I can."
"Thanks, Hyung," I said to him before I bowed and left.
I went to practice. A few hours later, I saw Xiumin talking to Taeyong. Not long after, Taeyong came in and told me that Xiumin was waiting for me in our studio. I bowed to him and went to see him, not wanting to keep him waiting.
"You asked to see me, Xiumin-hyung?" I asked when I got to the studio.
"Yes. I talked to Key earlier about his conversation with you. He told me your worried about Ryu, Jisung-ah," Xiumin replied and I nodded. "The conversation about her memories that upset her, I'm assuming it didn't come out of nowhere? Did the two of you have an argument last night?"
I dropped my head.
"Yes, Hyung," I admitted.
"Don't be ashamed, Jisung-ah. Couples fight. Even the ones who love each other as much as you and Ryu. You're young, you're figuring out life, and she's probably still trying to figuring out how to open up to people," Xiumin shocked me by saying.
"How do you know?"
"Ryu wasn't always like that, Jisung. It's something that with the way her life went, she just kinda gradually withdrew into herself, becoming very cautious of opening up to people. It's hard for her to be fully honest with people because she's trying to protect them, or she's trying to protect herself," he explained.
"Why?"
"For all her cuteness and savagery, after the plane crash, there was really only one secret Ryu tried to keep at first," Xiumin started.
"What was that?"
"The fact that she was terrified of planes," he replied. "Not just of her getting on a plane, either. She was terrified of the idea of Jin and the rest of BTS getting on them either. Ryu was scared that if they did, she'd never see them again. Something Jin was too overwhelmed to see, but EXO-M realized a few months after she'd been out of the hospital while she was spending a day with us."
"How did you guys realize it?"
"We were passing by the airport and there was a descending plane. She turned into Tao, started trembling, crying, repeated telling the plane to go away," Xiumin told me, breaking my heart. "It was when EXO-M started to get even closer to her. LuHan asked if we could take her to Busan while BTS went to Japan. It was a hard sell with Jin, but we proved ourselves and he allowed it. Not too long after, LuHan left SM. That was hard for Ryu, but EXO-M, and the others who have cared about her for so long, helped her through it. It was easier because LuHan gave her his number in China so they could stay in touch, and when she was hospitalized that Christmas, Jin asked him to come look after her since most of the others he knew and trusted would be traveling as well. That was also when she met Kris. LuHan asked him to come to Korea to help him with her. It's when Kris got tied around Ryu's little finger. And when they left for China together, it was hard on her, again, but Kris gave her his number, and they both told her and Jin if she got over her fear of flying, they'd love to have her come to Beijing to show her around."
"I'm still not sure I understand."
"The worst I saw her react was eight or nine months later, Jisung," Xiumin continued. "When Tao left SM, he didn't have time to see her before he left. He video called her as he left. BTS called me to come see her because she'd stop responding to any of them."
He took a minute to look at me to see if I was understanding and I wasn't sure I did. He took a deep breath.
"After LuHan and Kris leaving, Tao, was even harder, Jisung. Tao had been an emotional outlet for her in the year she'd known him. When she couldn't cry because she knew it would overwhelm her hurt, Tao cried for her," Xiumin explained. "So, when I went over and saw her, she was facing the wall. Eventually, I got her to roll over to take the emergency meds that Jin had been trying to take before they called me over, and that's when I saw the shape she was really in, Jisung. She had been cuddling the stuffed panda Tao had given her for her twelfth birthday the month before, her eyes had a far away look, like she was only partially there with me. She's had partially made herself catatonic. I got her to take her pills and was going to let her rest, but that was when she asked me if everyone she cared about was going to leave her, Jisung. I curled up in the bed with her to reassure her that Kris, LuHan, and Tao were all just a phone call away, not gone to her forever, but it still broke something in me that she was only 12 years old and had that outlook on life. That's why Chen, Lay, and I arranged that concert where you met her, Jisung. She'd had so much spunk in her for someone who had had a heart transplant a little over a year before, but suddenly, she was starting to withdraw because she felt like everyone was going to abandon her. The concert was to cheer her up, which it did, and thankfully, she bonded with you SM Rookies."
"Was that part of what you were hoping for when you had that concert?" I asked him.
"I hoped," Xiumin admitted. "The only real friends Ryu had at the time were at least 7 or 8 years older than her. At least with you guys, the oldest of you was 9 years older and you all got closer to her age straight down to you, Jisung. I was hoping, hell all three of us, were hoping, that by inviting you guys to be part of that concert, she might finally get to know some people closer to her own age. I never would've expected it would turn out like this, but I'm thrilled it did. You bring so much happiness to her, Jisung. And I know she's done the same for you."
"She does, but it hurts when she hides things."
"I know it does. But between idols who have left her life for different reasons over the years, realizing that Jin shut down if things were too overwhelming with her, having to rely more on Kookie and Yoongi, losing Jjong, who she loved so dearly, having Yoongi betray her with one of her so-called friends, the fact that she'd had a teacher who traumatized her, leaving her unable to talk about because she didn't know how to put what was going through her mind into words, and now Woojin, there's been a lot in her life that for her health, or because she didn't want to hurt those around her, overwhelm them with everything in her head, she's just started to compartmentalize her life. I'm sure she's trying her best not to hide things from you, Jisung, but it's a hard habit to break when it became second nature to her. Be patient with her. The fact that she's trying to tell you these things that she kept to herself for all this time shows she loves and trusts you more than you can understand. Because to be honest with you, all of us knew she's loved you longer than she wanted to tell you, but wanted to keep you at a distance to protect you. She was afraid that with her heart, if she let you too close, she was inevitably going to break your's if her heart just gave one day, and she was too scared to risk it. The fact that she's trying so hard not to let that hold her back and tell you things she hasn't told anyone before... Jisung, that is Ryu fighting like hell to be the person she thinks you deserve as a fiancée and wife. She'd never really thought about love or having a family of her own as she grew up... at least not until she finally stopped pushing you away, Jisung. It may not be easy, but be patient with her. She's trying and she doesn't know what she's doing as she does, but these are huge steps for her. And she's taking them because she loves you. Never doubt that, Jisung-ah. Kim Ryung-gi loves you more than anything in this world, otherwise she wouldn't be trying so hard to make sure she lets you in completely."
"She has more fears than I realized. I knew she had a hard time when people would leave, but I didn't realize how badly she shut down over Tao, or that it was really the reason why you guys had the concert," I replied.
"It is. And when Ryu is overwhelmed by her emotions, she shuts down because she knows the emotions are bad on her heart. She'll talk to you when she's ready. Give her time," he said to me. "But, if you feel you overreacted to anything last night after learning all of this, an apology couldn't hurt. Ryu is big on forgiveness."
Xiumin smiled at me, making me feel a lot better.
"Thanks for the talk, Hyung," I said to him. "I think I do owe her an apology for overreacting. After all, the argument was based on her trying to open up to me like I'd asked her to."
"You have a right as her fiancé not to be happy with decisions she may make, just try to keep in mind where she comes from when she makes them, Jisung-ah. She's never vindictive, so, try not to let your emotions rule your reactions in the moment. Even if you don't say anything when she tells you something and ultimately just tell her you need some time to process it before you react, it's better than blowing up in the moment," he said. "Just remember, you can love her with all your heart and not be okay with everything she does. It's okay to disagree with each other."
"I'll remember that, Hyung," I told him, bowing to him.
"Call me if she still won't talk tomorrow. I'll pay her a visit," he offered, to which I nodded and went back to rehearsal.
Surprise POV:
"Are you sure I should go do this?" I asked Lay.
"Yeah, you should," he replied with a big smile on his face. "Look, you care about her just like the rest of us and you haven't seen her much in a while. Right now, she's kinda upset, so I think this would be a nice surprise for her."
"But she's working," I emphasized to him.
"She needs to stop to eat sometime," he replied.
"Fine," I gave in. "I do miss her."
He gave me the address of where she was at and left. I got myself ready and made my way over there. It took me a few minutes to get through reception, but they finally called the group leader down to escort me upstairs. After explaining I was there to surprise her by taking her out to dinner, he smiled brightly at me, and brought me upstairs to the studio they were working in, asking me to stay outside for a minute.
"Hey, Ryu, it's time to call it quits," the leader said to her.
"Jun, I'm staying at least another two to three hours to work with you guys tonight," I heard Ryu reply.
"Really?" Jun asked her. "Because if you do, you're really going to disappoint the guy here to bring you to dinner."
I saw the smile on his face as he said it.
"If it's Jisung, tell him to go back to work," Ryu said, and I realized, she wasn't just upset, she was having issues with the boy she had trouble admitting she cared about when she was younger that she was engaged to.
"It's not Jisung," Jun told her, as he pulled me into the studio, which cut off her argument, as I smiled at her.
"Taekwoon-oppa?!" she exclaimed, smile on her face, surprised to have me in front of her. "What are you doing here? How did you know where I was working?"
"Thank Lay, Ryu," I told her as she rushed into my arms. "He told me that I should come see you today. So, I'm here to take you to dinner and catch up. We've both been so busy lately, we haven't had a chance to see each other."
"Um..." Ryu said, looking to A.C.E uncertainly.
Kim Byeongkwan walked over to her things and grabbed them. He brought them over to her and handed them to her with a smile.
"Get out," he told her. "We'll stay late tomorrow to finish this. It looks like it's been a while since you two have spent time together and this is the first real smile you've had all day, Ryu-ah. Have fun."
"Are you guys sure?" she asked them.
"Ryu, I'm barely younger than your appa, but even I can tell you need stop overdoing it today. You were in the studio hours before we got here according to our managers," Donghun replied.
"We appreciate that you were so interested in working with us that you wanted to work on this project with us, Ryu, but me and Donghun are the same age as Yoongi, and we both agree that you need to get out of the studio," Wow agreed.
"We were just starting to work on your title track," she argued.
"That's okay. It will still be here tomorrow," their maknae, Chan, told her.
"We'll have an early night, Ryu," Jun started. "We'll come into the studio earlier than we did today and stay later tomorrow. The work will still get done on time."
"But today, get out, and have some fun," Byeongkwan told her again.
All five boys smiled at her.
"Your friends are right, Ryu. You're tense and all this work isn't going to help," I added.
"You too, Oppa?" she asked me in surprise.
"Hyung's right!" they all started saying. "He's the eldest one here! You need to listen!"
Ryu started laughing and shaking her head.
"I guess I have to respect my elder," she said sarcastically. "Guys, I'll see you all tomorrow. I'll text you tonight what time I'm planning on being here. You figure out what time you can be here from there."
"Just go!" Jun said, laughing. "We'll be fine!"
Leo and I left their studio and I got into his car.
"They seem like fun," he said, laughing.
"Yeah. Donghun and Wow are '93 liners. Jun, the leader, is a '94 liner, Byeongkwan is a '96 liner, and Chan, their maknae, is a '97 liner," Ryu said. "They can be all over the place, but they're talented, and willing to work hard."
"That's good to hear," I replied to her. "So, do you want to go home and wash up before we go out?"
She sent a text message out. A minute later, she got a reply.
"Sure, but we live in Gangnam now, so, here's the address," she said, as she set up the GPS on her phone to lead me to her current address.
"How long have you been there?" I asked.
"Um... end of June will make two years," she replied. "Jisung and I are planning to move, but since I spent most of last year in the hospital, it set back our plans to get out of there and into our own place."
"So, whose place is that?" I wanted to know.
"One of G-Dragon's. I had moved out to live with him for a while. Then I got the first death threat against me. Not long after, Jisung proposed to me and we moved into the penthouse we're in now. Jiyong said we can stay until we can find a place that feels right for us, but I got kidnapped a few months later, spent most of last year in the hospital, and I'm only back on track with my cardio for a few weeks now."
"Are you okay?" I asked her. "You seem upset. Those guys all said you've seemed... unhappy today. So, what's going on?"
She sighed and explained what had happened with her and Jisung the night before. She told me how, he'd asked her to stop hiding things from him, and she'd been trying. However, when she opened up about something she felt it was important he know, he got angry and yelled at her the night before. She also mentioned her fear about her memories. Finally, I understood why she was so upset.
"No relationship is ever going to be perfect, Ryu. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship," I started. "Jisung has a right to his feelings and opinions based on your actions, just like you are. The way the two of you will know if you can truly survive the seriousness of marriage, that type of commitment, is the way you handle those differences of feelings and opinions."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I'm guessing before you told me where you told me to take you, you texted someone in NCT to make sure Jisung was still at work?" I asked and she nodded. "So, obviously, you're not ready to face him yet. It's okay to need some space from him sometimes, Ryu. Before, he was in the dorm, so if you guys disagreed, at the end of the night, you lived in separate spaces and had that space to think away from each other. Now, living with each other, you don't really have that space, so it's okay to want to find a way to make it so you can clear your head before things get worse. That's all normal. Just remember, if you really love him and want to stay with him, you can't avoid him or talking to him forever. You're his fiancée. You will need to work this out with him. So, you've taken today to clear your head, throwing yourself into work and getting surprised by me. Try not to avoid him past tomorrow afternoon? Try to talk to him by tomorrow night?"
Ryu took a minute as if she was absorbing everything I was just saying.
"Alright," she finally agreed, nodding her head.
I got her to the penthouse. After she'd washed up and changed, she grabbed an overnight bag, packed it, and left a note for Jisung that she'd be home tomorrow night. She texted someone, and then we left.
The two of us went out to dinner and spoke about everything. We discussed my military service, what had happened with her, her recovery, her relationship, and how things were with her family. After dinner, we went to the movies. There was a Japanese romance movie I wanted to see and Ryu agreed to go see it, even though it wasn't necessarily her favorite type of movie. She knew that most of my friends wouldn't watch them with me, so over the years, she would come with me from time to time. Finally, at the end of the night, I asked her where I was taking her.
"Actually, to FNC," she said to me.
I was shocked.
"Why am I dropping you at another entertainment company?" I asked her.
"I'm meeting Honggi there," she replied. "I'm going to crash with him tonight, but he's still at the studio right now."
"Of all people to crash with, why Lee Honggi?" I asked.
"Because I know if I go to Jiyong, Jisung will look for me there. He won't look for me with Honggi," she explained, but before I could argue, she continued. "I promised I would try to talk to him when he came home tomorrow night, Oppa, and I will. But, in order to clear my head, I need tonight without him. So, I'm just going to stay with a friend I know he won't just show up at his house unannounced. Me and Honggi have gotten along really well since my I was a second year in high school, Oppa. He's always been great with me. I will keep my promise to you, just let me do this my way?"
I sighed before I smiled at her.
"I know there's no way to make you do things any other way, Kim Ryung-gi," I told her. "Come on, I'll drop you at FNC, but ask Honggi to at least be outside when we get there so I know you're with him safely?"
"No problem," she said with a smile. "I love you, Oppa."
"I love you, too, Ryu," I told her. "And I want to start spending more time with you."
"So, what are you doing in the studio?"
"Actually, I was getting ready to record a solo album," I admitted. "It's hard with Ravi always busy, though."
"So, let me help produce it for you," she said. "It would mean we'll have more time to hang out, and you won't have to wait for Ravi's schedule to clear up."
"Ravi's produced almost all my music, Ryu," I told her. "I think he'd be upset if I just did this."
"So, talk to him. But I've been doing this, choreographing, and more since I graduated high school, Oppa," she told me. "I've worked with Super Junior, Stray Kids, NCT, I produced for BTS when I was 12, I've produced for Kris Wu... I'm good behind the soundboard. You can talk to these guys before you talk to Ravi if you want. Plus, you know I'm working with A.C.E now, if you want to talk to them about it, too."
"I guess it couldn't hurt to keep options open," I replied with a smile.