"Lizzy!"
"What?"
"What the fuck are you doing, you idiot!"
Sylvia slammed the front door to the flat shut behind her as she stormed towards where I was sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her, but I didn't really care. I looked at the bottle next to me and reached for it but she shoved it off the counter, knocking it onto the floor. It shattered.
"Oh my god, look what you've done, why the fuck would you do that?" I mumbled nonchalantly as I got off the island and walked over to the cupboard that we kept the alcohol in.
Sylvia pulled me away from the cupboard and slammed it shut before I could take another bottle out.
"No." She said firmly, pointing at me with her index finger. I frowned and tried to bite it.
"Why are you even here? I don't need you here."
"You weren't answering the phone, so I was worried."
"Shut up, you weren't. George just told you to check in on me, I bet." I growled, standing up and gripping onto the edge of the counter tightly as the room began spinning in my head.
"Lizzy, I don't even know George."
She grabbed my wrist as I turned to walk away.
"Can'tyou just leave? I'm fine, I'm fucking fine, okay? I'm totally great..." I trailed off and sighed.
"No. You're sad, you're shitfaced, I'm not leaving."
"I'm fine." I mumbled softly as I staggered into the living room with her following me.
"How much have you been drinking anyway?" She asked as I threw myself face first down onto the sofa and groaned quietly.
"Nowhere near enough." I said simply. She turned me over almsot effortlessly and sat me up.
"I think you've had way too much." She concluded. I giggled.
"Look at you, being all sensible. It doesn't suit you at all." I frowned at her, she shook her head.
"This doesn't suit you. I don't know what the fuck has happened to you, Lizzy."
I frowned even more.
"I'll tell you what happened. My boyfriend has been in a fucking coma for the past- fuck, fuck I don't even know how long it's been."
It had been two months.
George, Adam and Ross had all come back to London, but none of us had spoken. We needed space, at least, that was what we were telling ourselves.
"Sorry..." Sylvia sighed and looked at her shoes.
"It's fine." It really wasn't.
Sylvia looked at me and sighed again.
"Maybe you should go up there again."
"No." I answered straight away. Even in my fuzzy, drunken state, I was being serious.
"You should really think about it." She said.
"I have." I replied. "I've spent the past two months solely thinking about him, and since I've been here, all I've thought about is how much I want to see him."
"Then why don't you?"
"Because it scares me, Sylvia. I don't want to see him like that, it's painful and- and... I don't want to see him so close to death." I whimpered.
Sylvia sighed.
"Lizzy, I know this isn't my place to say, and I know I'm not in your head or anything so I can only imagine how painful it must be, but trust me, if it were you instead of Matty, he wouldn't have left your bedside once." She said.
I frowned at her and turned around to face her.
"If it was me instead of Matty, I would only have a small handful of people visiting me, so he wouldn't feel as out of place as I did." I said.
She sighed.
"That's not the point. Stop being so selfish."
"Where's your boyfriend?" I asked her. She sighed.
"Don't change the subject."
"Where's your boyfriend?" I repeated myself, a little louder this time. She shut her eyes and sighed.
"At his other girlfriend's house." She said, knowing what was coming.
"Oh. Okay. How did it feel when you found out he was cheating on you?"
"Lizzy-"
"No, how did you feel." I said. She sighed.
"I felt like I was drowning." She admitted.
"Stop being so selfish." I cocked an eyebrow at her to make my point, but lowered it a second later as reality began to set in. "I'm sorry." I said.
"It's fine." It wasn't.
----
"When's he going to wake up, Sylvia?" I asked her a little while later. We were watching tv, but we weren't really watching tv.
"I don't know, sweetie." She said. I sighed quietly.
"I want him so much, like, like, oh my god."
"I know you do."
I stared at the tv screen and didn't say anything for a minute as we watched Jamie Oliver cracking a couple of eggs into a bowl to make some sort of quiche.
"The funny thing is," I paused and listen to Jamie Oliver talking about beating the eggs. "Actually it's not funny, but basically, I can't see myself getting through this whole thing without Matty." I mumbled.
"I just want to sleep for a million years." I sighed.
----
Matty's POV
Where was she?
Where was she?
Where was I?
Fuck.
I need her.
I need her.
Doesn't she know that?
What if she never even existed.
What if this was all a dream? Meeting her, everything that happened since then. It all seems rather dream-like.
"Matty!" She laughed as I grabbed her hips from behind.
"What?" I asked, pushing my face into the crook of her cold neck. "Fuck, you're cold."
She was always really cold. It was beautiful.
"Nothing, you just surprised me." She said softly. She stayed where she was, staring out of the window in the kitchen at the houses below.
As I pressed kisses along her shoulder, she began dissolving in my arms, turning to sand.
"Lizzy?" I frowned. "Lizzy!" I shouted, collapsing onto the floor and picking up handfuls of the sand. I watched as she grains, the grains of her, slipped between my fingetips.
"Fucking hell, Lizzy." My eyes widened. I didn't know what was happening.
I doubled over and winced.
"Matty..."
Her voice came from our bedroom.
"Matty!" She sounded pained.
I pushed myself up and ran through our flat into our bedroom, which, as I entered, turned into a plain grey room, with a window separating me from her.
"Lizzy?" I ran up to the window and peered in.
She was lying on the floor, crying, as some masked person kicked her.
"Stop!" I shouted. Lizzy looked at me and shook her head.
"Stop!" I shouted again, banging on the glass.
I watched as Lizzy mouthed the word 'Leave'. I shook my head.
"Stop kicking her you fucking monster."
Lizzy screamed.
"Get the fuck out, now!" She screamed so loudly that I could hear her through the glass.
I could feel my heart beating so fast as I looked towards the door, then back to her. She nodded and soaked up whatever pain was left.
I walked briskly towards the door, then my pace quickened, but as I approached the door, it vanished.
I spun around to look at Lizzy again, but she had gone, everything had gone. The room was entirely white.
"Matthew?"
My mum was behind me.
I spun around with tears in my eyes.
I felt like I was five years old as she took my into her arms.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, mum." I choked out.
"I wish you would just wake up."
Wake up.
Wake up?
"I miss you so much."
What the hell?
"I'm right here, mum..."
There was a dull beeping noise that started to get faster and faster, making me want to scream and hold my hands over my ears.
"Oh my god!"
"What's going on?"
"I think he's waking up-"
----
apologies if this seems really rushed and makes absolutely no sense.