The ceremony was simpler than it would have been had they not been at war. Not many of the lords had come. Lord Matís and lord Horas felt uncomfortable leaving their borders with the attacks there continuing, but they had sent their deepest sympathies and their regret for not being able to attend. The Da Santi family was still in mourning themselves after the loss of Alcaeus, so they, too, had sent their condolences. But Iolaus' father had come to pay his respects, as well as lord Riccardo Prias and his wife, who had been friends with Ariane. And Hector Strega had come as a representative of the Strega family, accompanied by his wife.
Vara didn't have much time to speak with anyone. The moment she had arrived in Auros, she had been pulled aside by lady Eurydice's servants and brought to the chambers of Cyrus' grandmother.
The woman had aged since Vara had last seen her and she didn't hesitate to embrace her tightly.
Eurydice had returned the embrace and then resorted to studying Vara all over as if to make sure the girl was really there. When she'd been satisfied, Vara had been brought up to speed with the situation.
Eurydice worried mostly about Cyrus. Ever since returning home, Cyrus had locked himself up in his room and refused to see anyone, even his own son. All he did was drink, and shout at the servants. King Marcos had tried to talk some sense into him, but that had only lead to more resistance, and the king didn't have the time to call his son to order. He had a war to focus on. And with Cyrus back in Auros, he needed to take care of things himself.
Eurydice hoped Vara would be able to talk some sense into Cyrus. He had always listened to her in the past. Whenever he'd had one of his tantrums, Vara'd be the only one able to calm him down and Eurydice hoped it was still so.
But before Vara had a chance to approach Cyrus, there was the actual funeral and she had guests to greet.
Vara felt a little lost without Iason at her side. She would be glad for the ceremony to be over so she could return home, but she had the feeling that wasn't going to happen any time soon.
Her eyes moved to Cyrus, who stood not far away from her, receiving sympathies from the guests.
He did look bad. His eyes were red rimmed with dark circles underneath. Stubble lined his cheeks, and his face had an ashen color.
If any of the guests were bothered by his lethargic replies, no one said anything of it. Perhaps they thought it normal behavior after losing his wife and unborn child.
But it still bothered Vara.
She glanced at Lucius, who had quietly retreated to the corner of the room. Cyrus hadn't even looked his way once since she had been here. Lady Eurydice had been right. He completely ignored his own son. She would have addressed it if it hadn't been for the nobles that were still here. For now, the matter would have to wait until she could speak with Cyrus in private, but first the royal family would gather at the tomb where Ariane would be laid to rest in the Aurelios family grave.
It was strange to see the entire family fit into one carriage. Vara sat next to Cyrus on one bench, with king Marcos and lady Eurydice across from them on the other. Little Lucius sat on lady Eurydice's lap with his head on her shoulder. He had been awfully quiet the entire day.
Vara glanced at Cyrus. Even this close to his son he didn't acknowledge the boy, nor did he anyone else. He was quietly staring out of the carriage window through the small crack in the curtain.
Vara sighed and looked out of the other window. An awkward, laden silence had settled over the carriage and all she wanted was to escape it.
"How is Iason faring at the border?" lady Eurydice's gently voice broke the silence and Vara turned to her.
She knew the woman was only trying to ease the tension, but she answered nonetheless. "Last I heard they had the enemy on retreat and all was still well. We do not receive word often."
"You must miss him terribly," Eurydice smiled in sympathy.
"I do," Vara breathed. She wished he was here with her now and she prayed she wouldn't have to bury him next. He had to come home safely of she wasn't sure she would survive.
"We're here," Cyrus cut off the conversation sharply. It was the first time he had spoken of his own volition since the start of the day and it slightly startled her.
The carriage pulled to a stop and they climbed out.
Vara stood next to Cyrus' grandmother and watched as servants carried Ariane's body into the tomb. Once they were done, the family entered as well to pay their final respects.
Vara had not been here often. She had come when Cyrus' grandfather had passed away, and she had come here once or twice with Cyrus to visit his mother's grave, but that had been long ago when they'd still been children. This place had always made her uncomfortable. She felt like she didn't belong here. She wasn't truly part of this family and most of the names embedded in the stone were unfamiliar to her.
Cyrus' brothers were buried here. And she had never known them.
Vara walked up to lady Eurydice. The old woman stood in front of another inscripted wall and stared at it longingly.
Lord Caius' grave, her husband and Cyrus' grandfather.
When Vara appeared at her side, the old woman sighed sadly and wrapped an arm around Vara. "I still miss him. He adored you, child. He loved you like his own."
"I know," Vara whispered, "I miss him too." She leaned her head on the woman's shoulder. "I hope the love I share with Iason may last as long as yours."
Eurydice smiled and kissed Vara's forehead. "May the two of you grow very old together."
Vara untangled herself from the woman and walked outside where she found a lost looking Lucius hover in the entrance. She kneeled down with him and looked at him sadly. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"
The boy shrugged and looked down at his toes. He looked so very lonely and Vara's heart went out to him. She locked her arms around him and held him in a close embrace. "It's okay to cry," Vara told him softly, "I won't tell anyone."
After a slight hesitation, two small arms locked around her torso and his little body started shaking.
His cries were without sound, but she could clearly feel the tears leak into her shoulder.
She said nothing. Instead, she just gently stroke his back, wishing she could make it all go away.
...
Torcan's mind was occupied. He understood why Darius had called him back so suddenly, but his mind could not yet grasp it.
Ariane was ripped away from this world. One moment she had been here and the next she was gone.
Of course news of this should not reach the rest of the camp yet, but news like this could not be contained long. A lot of the men had witnessed the rider coming and had seen Cyrus leave in all haste not long after. There would be speculations. It wouldn't be too hard to put two and two together.
Torcan felt bad for Darius, who was trapped in his duties as king and could not attend his sister's funeral. By now she must already be buried.
"Do you think prince Cyrus will return after the funeral rites?" Torcan questioned as he poured Darius a drink.
"Most likely he will stay in Auros for the time being," Darius answered, "though I suppose he will return here at some point if matters aren't resolved soon. He can't justify his absence without some kind of explanation to his men." He didn't expect it to take too long. There would be the required grieving period of course, but duty would call again soon enough. He had no illusions. It had been a marriage of convenience, nothing more. Though he regretted that, Cyrus would not grieve for long. Most likely he would marry again within the span of a year. The throne needed to be secured. Even if prince Cyrus already had an heir, he had to think of the future. "For now, we have to manage things here. What did your brother say about Salvire providing supplies?"
Torcan nodded and sat down across from Darius. Yes, perhaps talking about strategies and supplies was the best course of action to take his mind off things.
The next few hours were spent going over documents.
...
As soon as they had returned to the palace, the king had retreated to his study. There were petitions and tax reports waiting for him and new trainees to instruct. For every man lost at the battlefront, another soldier needed to replace them. And he still needed to think on how to deal with his prisoners and their offspring.
Eurydice had taken Lucius with her and had given Vara a meaningful and pleading look while shifting her eyes in the direction of Cyrus.
Vara sighed at the not so subtle hint. What was she supposed to do to pull Cyrus out of his misery?
"I did love her," Cyrus suddenly spoke quietly. He didn't look at her, but instead stared into the distance. Vara noted that at least he seemed lucid.
She let out a sigh, not sure how to respond to that.
He turned to her now. He looked tired. "I did," he said again, "I did love her. Perhaps not in the way she deserved, not in the way she wanted me to, but in the end, I did love her."
"I know," Vara said, because what else could she say?
Cyrus ran a hand through his hair. "I can't sleep, Vee. I can't even think. Stay with me." He looked at her. "I know my grandmother asked you to watch me."
"Do you need watching?" Vara asked sourly.
"I need peace of mind," he retorted, "stay a while. Please. Play something. You playing the harp always calmed me down."
"I haven't played in years," Vara tried to excuse herself. She was tired too. She just wanted to go home.
"You'll do fine," Cyrus said.
"Cyrus..."
"Look," Cyrus sighed, "I know the two of you never got along, and I know it's my fault..."
"You're giving yourself too much credit there," Vara commented dryly.
"Please Vara," he said, "I don't want to be alone right now."
Please. She couldn't remember the last time he had said that to her. Perhaps that was why she relented. Or perhaps she was just too tired to keep arguing. "Fine," she said, "I'll play for you. But only until you fall asleep."
She followed him to his rooms and scrunched her nose at the sight of the pigsty.
Overturned goblets and dirty garments were everywhere. There was a smell in the room that made her wonder when it had last been aired. Swiftly she walked over to the large doors that led to an inner courtyard and opened them widely. The cold wind sent a shiver through her body, but that was still preferable over the stench of the closed room.
When she turned around to change the bedsheets, she found Cyrus already lying on them. "Get up," Vara ordered, "let me change them first. When did you last have clean sheets?"
"Why does it matter?" Cyrus scowled, "just leave it."
Vara sighed. She should have known he was going to be difficulty. "You can't possibly sleep well in that dirt," she stated.
Cyrus sighed too but didn't move. "Tomorrow," he said, "I'll have the servants do it tomorrow. It's been a long day." He flung his arm over his face and closed his eyes. "Can you play something now?"
Vara withheld a sigh and went to retrieve the lyre that stood in the corner of the room on a cabinet. She seated herself on a stool and pulled the strings of the instrument to test them out. It truly had been a long time since she had played.
Her fingers daftly strung the harp to produce a gentle and calming melody. She just wished it would calm her too.
She glanced at Cyrus, who hadn't moved since sprawling out onto the bed. His lack of interest in anything around him was starting to irritate her. She regretted that he had lost his wife, but at the moment she only thought him selfish with his complete disregard for others. He wasn't the only one feeling miserable. He had a son who had just lost his mother. She herself had a husband that was fighting at the border. She was worried about him and wanted to be home in case a message would arrive.
Instead, she was sitting here, soothing a stubborn prince to sleep who barely acknowledged her presence. He just seemed to find it the most natural thing in the word that she complied to his whims and wishes. Almost as if he expected her to.
She couldn't blame it all on him, she knew that they had been close friends since childhood and they had been together all the time. Perhaps it really was natural to flock together in times of distress.
It just didn't feel the same as it used to do.
Over in the bed, Cyrus' breathing had become more even and Vara stopped playing. Carefully she set the harp down and tiptoed towards the door. When he didn't stir, Vara quietly slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her.
"Is he asleep?"
Vara jumped at the sound of a voice and curtsied when she recognized the king. "Your Majesty."
"Thank you for looking after him," king Marcos said, "I'm glad you are at his side."
Vara sighed and shook her head. "I can't be at his side, Your Majesty, I plan to return to Boncini tomorrow. I only stayed with him because we just buried his wife today."
The king looked at her tiredly. "Stay a few more days, Vara, please. Cyrus.. is not himself right now. He gets like this when he's in agony. When Aelia... when his mother died... he locked himself away too. Didn't want to speak with anyone. It took days, and then he ran away from home."
Vara nodded. She remembered that. He had gone to the lake in the village where she still lived at the time. She had found him there.
"I know it was because of you that he came home," the king continued, "please be here for him now, like you used to. He won't listen to anyone else. A few days. That's all I ask Iason is still at the border, so it's not keeping you from him. Cyrus may grieve in private, but he is still the crown prince of this country and we still have a war to fight. To the public eye he must act the part. I ask you this favor because I know how much you mean to him. Make sure he does not stray." He nodded at her curtly and walked away without waiting for her reply.
Vara sighed and leaned against the wall with her eyes closed. She knew she had no choice. The king may call it a favor, it was nothing short of a demand. She would have laughed if she wasn't so tired of it all. It seemed she was only ever good enough to tame the prince when he acted out of line. And she would let herself be used that way because she cared about him.
In the end she had become a pawn in a chess game after all. And in order to survive, she needed to stay on the board.
She just hoped it wouldn't end in tragedy.
...
There weren't many advantages to being a child. Often people thought him ignorant and unexperienced. Often he was overlooked. But he had found that being overlooked could be beneficial too. People forgot he was there, so they didn't watch their words, even when he was in the room.
He learned a great deal from that. Especially from the servants, who tended to gossip when they thought no one was around to hear.
Today was no different. They had barely returned from his mother's burial or the gossip was already spreading. About how the prince was seeking comfort again with the lady Vara right after his wife had died. How close they had been as children and how fate and duty kept them apart. How happy lady Vara was now with lord Iason ad how painful it must be for her to have him fight at the border while she was here at court. They spoke about his mother too. How she had always remained the 'foreign' princess and never tried to engage with the servants. How the prince should have taken better care of her and how she should never have gotten with child again wither fragile health.
Lucius listened to it quietly. A lot of things now fell into place. Why his mother disliked Vara. How lonely she had been here. His father had wanted to marry aunt Vara but had to marry Lucius' mother instead. As a child, Lucius had never given it much thought. His parents were his parents. Perhaps he should have paid more attention to what was going on around him, and not only his lessons.
Some things, he understood. He might be a child, but he was also a prince. So he knew about duty and politics and arranged marriages. He had learned about treaties and alliances and ranks in society. He knew why his parents had married.
It seemed he now also knew why aunt Vara didn't visit often.
"I hope they find a better match for the boy," Lucius heard one of the servants say, and he focused his attention back on the gossiping women. "Poor boy. He takes after his mother. So quiet. They should find him some companions, like they did for his father. He ought to act out a little every now and then, be a boy, not a prince. Ah, I remember the days when his father used to get in trouble with lady Vara and lord Iolaus. Not a quiet day at court." She shook her head. "If only his Tirzé wife had been a little more outgoing he'd have been happier."
A sudden sob escaped from Lucius' throat. The sudden realization that his mother was truly gone hit him hard. He'd been afraid to cry, afraid it would draw attention to him with everyone already on edge. The only moment he'd caved was when his aunt Vara had found him outside the tomb. It was like a dam broke through and he could no longer hold it back.
But even then he hadn't made a sound. This time, however, he couldn't help himself. He let out a pained cry.
It made the gossiping servants flinch and turn to him.
"Oh my," one of them gasped, "I didn't notice the child."
Lucius was vaguely aware of them rushing out of the room. They must be afraid of being reprimanded. Perhaps from now on they'd be more careful with their words, though that wasn't why he was crying.
Another loud sob escaped him, and another, forming a long string of ragged breaths choked by tears.
Carefully Lucius curled himself up on the recliner he had been sitting on, trying to become invisible.
And that's where he fell asleep.
...
Her morning started with a visit to lady Eurydice's chambers to have breakfast with her. The older woman hugged her tightly before quickly guiding her to a chair.
"Have you slept well, child?" she asked kindly.
Vara forced out a smile. "As well as can be expected," she said, "these are difficult times for all of us."
Eurydice nodded. "So they are. Thank you child, for your comfort. I know you have a lot on your mind."
Vara sighed and ran a finger over the rim of her goblet. "I await news every day, fearing a message will come. I'm almost relieved when I hear nothing."
Cyrus' grandmother patted her knee. "Don't worry, child. The war will be over soon and Iason will return home. It won't be much longer. The latest reports stated the enemy is retreating."
Vara smiled warily. "My lord Caius would always say not to count your stones before the game had ended. One never knows what your opponent had planned."
Eurydice nodded and offered a warm smile. "He did say that. The two of you always understood one another. You were much alike. I remember the hours you two would spend playing lantruculi, or going over books and philosophy." She looked towards the corner where an unfinished game of lantruculi was still displayed on a side table, and let out a longing sigh.
Vara, too, smiled at the memory. Many a winter night had been spent in this room. She took a breath. "The king has asked me to stay a few days," she said.
Lady Eurydice nodded solemnly. "Yes," she said calmly, "I suspected he might." She looked at Vara carefully. "Will you?"
Vara averted her eyes. "I can hardly refuse." Inside she wondered if the king would actually stop her if she'd decide to just leave, but she was too fearful to test it. The king might care for her and grand her a lot of leeway, there were limits to how far that generosity would go. She couldn't risk thwarting him now.
"Vara." lady Eurydice had spoken quietly and she gently took Vara's hands. "Please take care of my grandson. I beg of you. You were always a good friend to him. Help him now to get back on his feet. He has a son to take care of. It's all he has left. Lucius needs his father now more than ever." She paused hesitantly. "You are too young to have known his brothers, but Cyrus remembers. He's lost almost everyone dear to him. It's why he shuts down when something like this happens. Please remind him of who he is and that he's not alone."
Vara sighed and nodded. "I'll talk to him." That was really all she could promise. Ariane's death had been unexpected. Most likely Cyrus was just in shock. In a few days he'd be back to his old self. "I'll go see if he's awake." She excused herself and left the room, but instead of finding Cyrus, she walked outside. She needed some fresh air.
Servants greeted and bowed at her as she walked by. Vara inclined her head at them but did not stop to talk. She made her way to the gardens. In winter there were no flowers, but at least she would have privacy.
She stopped at a bench that overlooked what would be a flowerbed with tiger lilies in spring. This was where she had met Iason.
A feeling of nostalgia came over her and she smiled to herself.
She missed him.
When she turned to continue her track, she realized she was not alone. On another bench not far away was Lucius with his dog at his feet. He had a heavy woolen cloak wrapped around him and was huddled deep into the warm fabric. It made him look rather lonely.
Quietly, Vara walked over to him. Tytus greeted her with a happy wag of his tail and a nudge with his nose. Lucius barely looked up.
"Can I sit with you?" Vara asked.
The boy gave a slight shrug with his shoulder which she took as an invitation. "Wouldn't you rather sit inside? It's cold out here," she noted.
"You're also out here," Lucius pointed out.
A wry smile appeared on Vara's lips. "True," she said, "it's nice to get away sometimes where people aren't watching you all the time."
He glanced at her now from the corner of his eyes. There was a certain guard in his look.
"Are you escaping your lessons?" Vara asked.
Lucius sighed. "There are no lessons today," he muttered, "my teacher said I should just go play today."
Vara nodded in understanding. His teachers probably didn't know what to do with him at the moment. She glanced at him as an idea came to mind. "Do you want to go somewhere instead?" she asked.
Lucius looked at her uncertain. "Go somewhere?" He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to leave the palace grounds.
Vara nodded. "It's not far. I'll show you where your father ran off to when his mother had just passed away. He wasn't much older than you are now."
Lucius bit his lip. "I don't know," he muttered, "I'm not supposed to go anywhere."
Vara smiled amused. Definitely Ariane's child. "Oh, come on," she said, "you have to be disobedient at least once in your life. Best to do it when you have a good excuse so no one will get mad at you."
The boy still seemed unsure, but the prospect of escaping watchful and pitying eyes won out.
He stood up and took a deep breath. "Okay."