Growing up, I was your average cheerful girl.
When I was four, I wanted to go to Disney World and meet Snow White. When I turned six, I wanted a pony and two puppies for my birthday. When I was ten, my room was filled with pom-pom's and rainbows. The second I turned sixteen, I went straight to the DMV to get my driver's license.
It wasn't until I was seventeen that the only thing I truly wanted was for my life to become normal again.
Once you find out you have cancer, everything else seems to become small and insignificant. Things start to fade away. You begin to lose sight of the dreams that you once cared about and your only goal is to make it through the day. It's a never ending battle and most of the time, cancer wins.
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I still remember the day my life was changed forever, like it was yesterday;
It was a crisp autumn morning and I had just woken up to the scent of my mom's infamous brown sugar cinnamon muffins. I noticed my head was hurting, so I let myself sleep in another thirty minutes because my first class wasn't until later in the morning. My junior self was living her life to the fullest.
I loved autumn. Still do. The smell of pumpkin spice and the bright colors of the leaves as they fell slowly to the ground, there wasn't anything like it.
Once I had woken up completely, I brushed my teeth and took a quick shower, wanting to get my hands on one of the muffins before my dad and brother ate them all. I knew that my mom was going to save me one regardless but honestly, the craving was getting hard to ignore.
Once I had finished getting dressed and doing my hair, I made my way downstairs. To my surprise, there was only one muffin left on the plate.
"I knew it," I groaned.
"Sorry sweetie, you know how much Grant and your father love these muffins," my mom chuckled.
"It's okay, I wasn't that hungry anyway," I lied.
Knowing her, she'd probably make a whole other batch for me to take to school and share with my friends, but I didn't want her to be late to work. Upset about my muffins, I grabbed the bottle of maple syrup and walked over to Grant who was sitting at the table and downing a muffin that was probably not his first one.
I leaned down and whispered in his ear, "This is war."
I couldn't control my laughter once he realized that maple syrup was running down his face.
"MOM, Bry just spilled maple syrup all over me!" He whined.
I immediately started running out of the kitchen and into the living room, knowing that he was not going down without a fight. Even though he is twice as big as me and two years older, I'm wasn't afraid of a little challenge.
"Get back here," He yelled playfully.
I saw him grab a handful of powdered sugar and aim it towards my head. Luckily, I managed to dodge it. Instead of hitting me, it hit my dad right on the back of the head; bulls eye. Grant and I started laughing so hard that we both hit the ground holding our stomachs. My dad started laughing as well, he knew that this is a typical morning for our rambunctious household.
We both got up from our laughing fit, and I walked over to the counter to finally get ahold of my beloved muffin. As I started chewing, Grant asked me if I needed a ride and I nodded in response. My mouth still full of the delicious gooey cake. He grabbed his car keys and said, "I'm leaving in five minutes, don't be late."
I scrambled to get all my stuff because usually when Grant says five minutes, he means two. I began to walk out the door before realizing, I forgot something.
I made my way back to the kitchen to hug my mom and kiss her on the cheek. I never left the house without doing so.
She grabbed my face and told me how much she loves me as I tried to wiggle out saying, "I know, I know mom, I'm going to be late."
"Ok, ok, be safe," I heard her say before I shut the door and ran to Grant's car.
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The whole drive to school Grant and I were joking about how funny dad's face looked when he got hit with the powdered sugar. I stuck my nose up and said, "Kids, stop joking around, I have a big meeting to prepare for and you guys are not helping," In my deepest voice. This only made us laugh harder.
In many ways, we were still little kids bantering and kidding around.
Once we arrived at school, Grant and I walked in together. It didn't take long for one of the teachers to notice us and say, "Oh my goodness, are you Will's kids?" We would both smile and nod, and they would remark how good of a student our father was and how we look exactly like him.
As we walked to my locker Grant said, "Just to be clear, you have dad's nose."
"And you have his dad bod," I said smiling while nudging him with my shoulder, knowing perfectly well that Grant works out every morning to keep his figure in tip top shape. I'm not really sure why though, he doesn't do it for the girls that's for sure, or else he'd have one by now.
Once we got to my locker, Grant patted me on the shoulder and continued to his own. In Grant language that means; have a good day and I'll see you at lunch.
I quickly put my stuff in my locker and headed to geometry.
I found my best friend, Elise, and sat down next to her. Elise is probably the most straightforward and real person I have ever known. Let's just say if there was a piece of spinach stuck in between your teeth, she would personally reach in there and take it out. We have been friends ever since we could talk, and I practically grew up with her.
"Hey bestie," she said groggily as I sat down.
Immediately noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes I asked, "Elise, did you stay up watching Friends again?"
"Ugh, I can't help it, it's so addicting," She responded with a sigh.
I giggled and complimented her hair that was in a braid. Elise has gorgeous brown hair that rests just above her stomach. It compliments her fair skin and stunning green eyes.
She immediately returned the favor and complimented my outfit. I just threw something on that morning and didn't give much thought to it. I was wearing a pair of frost blue leggings and a black sweater with white stars on it.
We then started talking about her show until Mrs. Sydney walked in and gave us our assignment of the day. A couple of minutes into class, I started to notice the headache that had been bugging me all morning was getting worse.
I had actually been having them a lot recently, but they were somewhat bearable, so I ignored them. Mrs. Sydney then started to hand out math worksheets and when she got to our table, she paused to stare at me. I looked up at her and gave her a confused look.
"Sweetie, your nose is bleeding," She said concernedly.
I touched the underneath of my nose, and sure enough, there was blood. She walked back to her desk to write me a nurse pass and Elise asked me if I was alright. I told her I felt fine, because I didn't want to worry her for no reason.
"It's no big deal, probably just a seasonal thing," I reassured her, even though I have never had a nose bleed in my life.
Hesitantly, she went back to her work and I started heading to the nurse. Every step I took, it felt like someone was hammering at my head. The pain was excruciating and I found myself having to pause a couple of times to regain my balance. The hallways were turning into a maze and I found myself in the senior wing of the high school.
It eventually got to the point where I had to hold on to a locker to keep myself from falling to the ground
The rest is pretty much all a blur.
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When I woke up in the hospital. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the lighting. My headache had not gone away, in fact it had only gotten worse.
I was surprised to see my whole family sitting around me.
My parents looked so tired. My dad was holding my mom as if she would collapse if he let go of her. He was whispering something in her ear, something I couldn't understand. Grant was on the other side of the bed, holding my hand in his. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. I had barely seen him cry before.
I felt horrible. Did I make them sad like this? Was it because my nose was bleeding? I was desperate for answers. Grant sensed me stirring and looked at me with his gentle, brown eyes.
"Hey Bry, how are you feeling?" He asked softly.
My parents realized I was awake and pulled me into an embrace that I will never forget,
"Sweetheart, we have to tell you something."
That night, my life went from being an average happy girl, to having stage three chronic lymphocytic leukemia in the blink of an eye.