Remington POV
There were only two left.
I stared into the container and could feel my mouth salivating.
I mean... of course she can make more, but there's only two and I can't take one and leave a final red velvet cupcake. That's just cruel. Then someone else is left eating the Final Cupcake. It's even more rude to eat the final one than it is to eat the next to last cupcake.
"Daisy... I just... what is in these?"
She snorted and shook her head, leaning into me while we stared at the platter on the table after saying goodbye to most of our guests. Kenny helped me get Dad to the bathroom and gave him a hand with some medication he needed to inject while Doc was passed out napping on the couch. We said our goodbyes to the rest earlier after the ladies set up the chat Rebecca mentioned for our pool party.
It was an amazing evening.
I felt like this was finally home again. This felt like a community... a place where I could settle in and really put down roots. Throughout the evening I caught glimpses of Alice and would imagine us in different scenarios like before. Maybe it would be her holding our baby as she chatted with Rebecca, or wiping our daughter's face while they grabbed another cupcake. My mind would not stop inserting these flashes of memories that had not yet happened.
It's like I was suddenly psychic.
I loved every one of these beautiful premonitions.
Benji was right about the food when he thanked everyone as we sat down earlier tonight. Each thing I ate was better than the last, even when I got seconds and had another serving of every item. I knew Rebecca was a great cook and spent the entire time I was at the grill either drooling over the chicken and veggie kebabs or drooling over Lissy. Leah and Kenny brought amazing sides but conversation and dialogue that I loved having around as well. It was clear to me that Kenny and I were going to be close friends. He was someone I could connect to deeply, much like Liss does with Doc. I knew I could trust him.
Now it was time to relax, though. Daisy nudged me and kicked her head back, "Hey, we got flan to eat, too...."
I groaned, "Ohhhh, shit, Dais!!"
She giggled and put the lid back on the cupcakes, moving them back into the kitchen. "I'll save these for Benji tomorrow."
"What's for me tomorrow?"
Benji looked up from his laptop where he sat with Alice at the counter, debating which smoker to purchase. I chuckled and moved back over toward them, peeking at the screen and pointing at one we discussed during dinner. "Which do you like best, Lissy? This was my first choice."
She looked at me and smiled while pulling her hair into a messy bun. I always watched amazed at how she did that so quickly. "I was thinking the Masterbuilt one you're pointing at now. It's kinda middle of the road and then we aren't spending too much but also know it's gonna be decent. I know we really want the Traeger but those things are so expensive. I just don't know if I want to shell out so much for something we don't know how to use yet when we can start off basic and then learn and figure out from there exactly what we want."
Lissy chewed her lip and was sitting with knees up against her chest, scrolling her phone while checking reviews from her stool at the counter. "Beep, what do you think?" His eyes looked toward her while he clicked on the propane smoker and I saw a glimmer of respect between them.
Benji made it clear on our overnight chat session just how much he appreciates moments like these. Knowing how important his opinion is to Lissy means the world to him. They have a symbiotic relationship, a word he used in proper context and without missing a beat as we had our long talks. I was impressed that he knew what it meant and used it so seamlessly but I guess I shouldn't be, considering his sister is a genius.
He smiled and shrugged, "I mean, we already have a propane grill here that belongs to this rental house but I like the idea of sticking with propane for the smoker. Then we can change course when we buy our house down the road if we want."
Lissy gave him a satisfied smile, eyes sparkling as she slid her legs down so her feet settled on the bar in the middle of her stool. Daisy came to the table with the flan and plates as Alice clicked "Add to Cart", attention now on the new dessert in front of us. "Ohhhh I need to have just a little bit of that flan, Daisy... not a lot, cause wow..." Alice patted her stomach with an eyebrow raised while she let out a dry laugh, "I ate too much tonight, but I need this flan."
Daisy laughed and had the same expression, chuckling as she gave herself and Lissy each one heaping spoonful of the dessert. "Part of me feels like I am gonna be sick, but I just kinda have to try it at least."
I pulled Lissy's chair back as she was accepting the dish which made her yelp. She tilted her head back and looked at me with a grin, "Can I help you, sir?"
"You and me are gonna take little Miss Peach outside and enjoy this on the deck. Deal?"
I watched her squint and pretend to debate before letting out a dramatic sigh. "I need a refill first."
Benji and Daisy grabbed their Nintendo Switches, moving to the living room where Dad was relaxing. He and I already decided on the exact smoker Lissy chose so I knew she'd appreciate that info when we stepped outside and had time to talk.
Peach was napping on the couch next to Doc, whose arms hugged a throw pillow thanks to the extra margaritas she indulged in throughout our meal. Doc had a long weekend already planned and was excited to surprise Daisy with a sleep in day. Fridays tended to be quieter at the hospital for her and with the extra hours she had to put in I could tell the time off was much needed.
Jesse was napping on one of the lounge chairs in the yard, part passed out from tequila and partially due to his also insane schedule at the hospital, when we made our way back outside. I had assumed he made his way home when Kenny and Leah left about a half hour before but considering his yard is adjacent this is also no surprise.
"I thought he was going home for a few then coming back with his Switch to play Mario Kart with us?" Lissy said while laughing quietly. She set down the dessert and her glass of water at the table and looked over at me with a soft smile, "Poor guy just needs a break. Same as Doc."
"I'm so glad she has a long weekend now." I remarked, sitting down next to Lissy and letting out a long sigh.
Jesse must have sensed our presence and started to shift, especially when the wind picked up. He looked around confused, "Wait, where is everyone?"
We broke into laughter as Lissy patiently answered, "Most of them went home, bud. You want some water?"
He managed a nod so she took him the fresh glass she had just brought outside for herself. As soon as she stood with her cup I knew what her plan was and jumped into action, heading into the house to get another glass so Lissy would have something to drink.
My new instinct was to pay attention.
When she gives, give back quickly and quietly.
When I returned with the fresh drink and another for myself she grinned, "Thanks, Remi." I saw her cheeks flush pale pink while Jesse joined us at the table.
"Yoooo, is that flan?"
"Yep. Caramel flan made by Daisy earlier." I took my first bite and had to drop my spoon, grabbing the table. "Oh my god..."
Lissy started to laugh at my reaction and Jesse instantly made his way inside to get his own piece.
"That good?" She quipped as the spoon was headed for her mouth, but as soon as her tongue slipped from those perfect lips and swiped across the caramel custard I saw a flicker in those pale green eyes. Her hand moved quickly as she tasted, scooping another bite while I watched Lissy revel in the flavor of a perfectly set custard topped with deep and rich caramel.
In an attempt to keep from becoming too uncomfortable I decided to let myself chuckle at her dramatic reaction. I could savor this moment and think about other things her mouth could do but needed to redirect my energy. Our energy was already so passionate and charged easily. We didn't need more gasoline on that fire.
"Yeah, Liss. THAT good." I took another bite, shaking my head as she continued eating without a word. All I could hear were soft moans from her and louder sounds from Jesse as he ate like an animal once he made his way back outside with his own dessert. I did the same, thankful for the chance to just relax and have a place that felt like a true home again for probably the first time since Reese died.
It was a quiet evening. Late, of course, and after a peek at my phone I knew I had to get Dad home, but a few more moments in Lissy's presence was all I needed.
That's the number one thing I realized this evening. It was a whirlwind of activity between our run to the store, buzzing about with the grill and getting food together, all the talk about smokers, plus the overall stress of company.
In the midst of all the crazy activity, though, were glimpses of dark waves that cascaded in the breeze as Liss would turn to laugh at a joke Kenny told or chase Peach in the yard. Moments when I felt so whole and sure of who I am as a person that none of that chaos mattered.
I have her. That's all that matters.
"Earth to Remington?"
"Hmm?"
Jesse's voice and a light laugh from Alice brought me out of my daydream. I refocused on my dish and smiled, taking another bite. "I think I died and went to heaven for a minute there, guys."
Now Lissy laughed harder, "I need to watch more carefully next time Daisy makes flan. She has such a gentle touch with the custard." Her eyes went to the house where we saw Daisy and Doc standing by the table now, serving themselves flan before coming outside.
"How is it?" Doc asked, smiling toward her daughter before meeting eyes with Lissy.
I let out a groan, "Daisy, I need you to not make this again until I'm cleared to exercise. I want it daily and need to be able to run to handle the calories."
Her sweet giggles filled the air as Daisy plopped into the chair next to me, taking a bite and letting out a happy squeal, "Oh, it's perfect! Liss, thanks for your help with the caramel. I was so scared I took it too far!"
Lissy scrunched her nose in a grin and offered a light shrug. "We've got this, Dais. Team work makes the dream work."
The girls locked eyes and shared a meaningful smile, a confidence shared between them like sisters. I heard the door slide open again and watched as Benji pushed Dad in his chair toward us, two bowls that I had a feeling contained flan in his hands. Everyone settled in at the table and began replaying the evening, laughing about Daisy's prank on Benji and raving over how good the food was.
Lissy sat quietly, eyes sparkling as she curled one knee up to her chest with her chin rested on top while Daisy talked about trying to connect with Trisha.
"I just ... she was always so mean to me, but who knows. Maybe she just needs a friend? Someone to show her you don't have to be miserable all the time."
"I think you're right, Daisy. I let Rebecca know to bring her over and maybe we can be a good influence on her. Show her not everyone puts on a mask." Lissy shared another sweet smile with Daisy and I sat up straighter at that statement.
"Wait, what?"
Liss turned to me and nodded, "Yeah, Rebecca and Trish are going to spend some time with us once in awhile..."
"I don't like that idea, Lissy. She is a disrespectful little... I completely just would not want her here ever. Just no." I tried to keep my anger under control but I didn't appreciate the way Trisha looked at Daisy or how she treated Lissy or Benji.
Why allow someone into your house when you know they're probably going to cause trouble? Isn't that counter productive?
"The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't, Remi..." Lissy stared into my eyes and held my gaze longer than I expected. I let my breathing sync with hers and realized the soft tone she used did the trick. I never would have imagined someone could disagree with me but leave me feeling like they just said wedding vows. The sweet tone and gentle words reminded me compassion is the best approach, especially since these kids really do need guidance and Liss has way more experience dealing with this than I do.
"I think she needs a hobby. All I saw her do was take selfies with that stupid fish face." Dad let out a long sigh, shaking his head wearily.
Lissy and Daisy shared a short laugh before Daisy patiently explained yet again that it's known as "duck face," and while some girls do those poses because they think it's attractive there are others who do them because it's hilarious. Others like herself and Lissy, who regularly would troll themselves with memes they created and would send to each other along with the other gals they were building this new community with since Lissy arrived in Tulip Tree.
I was beginning to realize as I finished the last bite of flan on my dish ... I have only been home around a month.
My birthday is coming next Friday and I know Dad wants to do a big cookout and party, but maybe that's the day I need to take Lissy on her first ever date. It's my birthday, so I should get some say in what I do.
Benji was comparing sides of beef on a butchers website with Jesse and debating which size deep freezer he wanted to purchase before Lissy overheard and was distracted from her own discussion of when to get a manicure and pedicure with Daisy.
"Wait, who is purchasing which large appliance without my consent now?"
Lissy sat up straighter and grabbed her nearly empty water glass, taking a sip while she waited for Benji to respond. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows with a mouth full of water before swallowing, "I'm waiting, Beep..."
"A deep freezer is actually a savings, when you look at the long term cost benefit of buying in bulk and my growing appetite." Benji mused, tapping his pointer finger on his lips before he leaned forward, "I mean, really, I should be able to consider this a gift to you, Lissy."
Lissy was laughing but trying her best to contain her amusement. "A gift. Really. A gift. So if you're getting me the gift of a deep freezer, what does Daisy get?"
"A Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer, of course."
Daisy swooned dramatically, back of her hand on her forehead and melting down her chair as soon as he answered. We broke into laughter while Lissy objected, crying that this was not a fair fight because of course she would love that gift.
"What, is there a better option, Remington? How do you get the ladies?" Benji laughed, throwing the conversation on me so now everyone focused on my apparently ability to "get" ladies.
I let out a sigh and shook my head, "Well, first things first, kid. You don't "get" ladies like some incel living in mommy's basement. You figure out who you are and then live your life. Don't see finding the right person for yourself as something to cross off your list like getting bread at the store." My eyes drifted to Lissy where the dusky night atmosphere left her eyes shining in moonlight. "They're worth more than to be treated like an afterthought."
Alice smiled at me but it was also for me.
She appreciated that I was acknowledging part of what makes this mess of our worlds work. We are intentional about the time we spend together, even when it's hard.
"Oh! What's the plan for your bday, Remington? It's a week from tomorrow!" Daisy exclaimed, "What's your dessert choice?"
I had considered this question a couple times since I knew it was coming and had the perfect answer.
"Daisy. I know exactly what I want." I grinned and leaned over to confide in her slightly, "I want to do a dessert bar."
I could hear and see the gasps from Lissy, Doc, and Daisy, between the wide eyes and dropped mouths. Next was a flurry of questions as they began asking about ideas until finally Lissy had the perfect solution.
A cake and ice cream bar.
They agreed to bake a number of different types of cake and then also craft a few different icings plus have ice cream on hand. After that it's a buffet set up where everyone can mix and match to create the cake and ice cream sundae of their dreams.
I could tell Dad wanted to say something and paused our spastic conversation to needle it out of him. "What do you think, Dad? Name it and we can make it happen."
His eyes were tired, drawn from the long day even after a few naps, but his eyes sparkled in the dim light of citronella candles that barely kept the mosquitos away. "Lissy? Do you have the recipe for those caramel peanuts Clara would make?"
A loud gasp came from Benji and Liss at the same moment as they squealed in unison, "Yes!!"
Benji's eyes got misty and I saw him scoot his chair back before he stood and moved next to Dad, leaning down to hug him. They spoke in hushed whispers for a few moments as he softly cried but it was obvious from the smile on his face that Dad's mention brought up happy memories. After he stood and sniffed to gather himself I noticed Dad wipe his eyes, a look of deep reverence in his expression.
"Those were always my favorite, Benji. She made them every time I came to visit." Dad offered another smile, patting my brother on his back before Lissy approached and hugged him with so much adoration that my heart could have melted.
I'm not used to this much wholesomeness. I'm used to my solitary life in Atlanta where I go to a bar or restaurant a couple times a week and live alone. I'm used to watching SportsCenter and going to baseball games. Being part of a family that has a chance to reconnect and watching Dad grow closer to Benji in his final days is a lot to process. I'm thankful for each moment but it's overwhelming.
Benji nodded, arms embracing Liss as she leaned her head on his shoulder, "Mine, too. Mom made them for me all the time. Like, she had them as a treat for my lunches and stuff. I know they took her a long time since she would roast them a long time first before she candied them."
"We've even used them to make caramel peanut butter before." Lissy added, turning to Daisy. The younger girl/s gasp made me laugh, breaking the emotional tension for all of us so we could appreciate the beauty of this shared favorite thing.
Another common thread.
Another similarity.
Another bond.
I felt myself almost levitate as the night sped up, Doc and Daisy helping Liss and I clean dishes before I helped Jesse get home while Benji and Dad dug out the recipe for caramelized candied peanuts. Benji showed off some pics of him enjoying the treat and the more they talked about them, the more I couldn't wait to try it out.
"So, what's your order gonna be?"
Alice's voice was quiet as we walked out to the car while Benji pushed Dad in his wheelchair, Peach on her leash next to me. I handed the leash over and knelt to pet the sweet dog, humming as I considered the question. "I'm thinking your pumpkin spice cake with the caramel peanuts, cream cheese icing of some sort, caramel... but then coffee ice cream. I think that's the vibe I want to go for."
She giggled lightly, shaking her head while I stood and handed her the leash. "So a Pumpkin spice latte in a cake and ice cream sundae?" The realization made me gasp this time which only caused Lissy to begin full on laughing at me. "You're a white middle aged Suburban woman, Remington. I'd loan you my Uggs but I don't own any!"
"I hate you, Alice Davidson." My teasing tone and the way I rolled my eyes set her off even more, especially since Benji was now able to overhear our conversation.
Lissy's smile faded slightly and our eyes locked before she spoke, "Nah, you love me." Her fist connected with my jaw playfully but we both knew the impact of that statement. She continued quickly, shattering a moment that I was aware could have changed everything, "Okay, so tomorrow I'll get the groceries I need for prep and get a batch of those caramel peanuts going. They're time consuming to roast properly but that's why it'll be good to start now."
"It also means more batches to try out with additions like Daisy suggested," Benji added. "I love the idea of doing some spicy peanuts, especially if we can figure out the right type of heat to add. It may take trying different stuff, but we have so much in the house as it is. Why not mix it up?"
"Exactly, Beep!" Liss grinned at him before turning back to me with a long look. "Oh, and once we get our smoker we can try smoking them, too. Sound good, Remi?"
"It sounds perfect, Liss. It always sounds perfect." My hands reached toward her and as I expected she walked closer, easily accepting the hug I offered.
I want her to stay here forever, but now it's time to take Dad home.
Now is not our time, but she's right.
How could I not love her?
"Oh, Liss?"
She turned back to me as I was about to get into the car, door open and one foot already on the floor of the drivers side. Her dark waves were blowing in the breeze and Benji stopped at her side, waiting to see what was going to happen.
"Yeah?"
I heard Dad say my name but took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, steeling myself to ask her the question I knew I needed to finally get out. "Alice... will you go out with me next week? Maybe Friday?"
There was a shift in her expression from a neutral look of curiosity, eyes open and aware with a soft smile, to one of shock. Lissy's mouth dropped open and eyes widened before her hand grasped at the chest of her top. I noticed Benji snickering to himself before he took the leash for Peach and coaxed her into walking in the house, waving at me as he shut the door behind them.
She was frozen.
I stepped closer and knew her mind was racing, but that she'd say yes. It was never a question of If, but When...
After a moment I turned around and saw my Dad watching from the car with a grin on his face, wiping tears from his eyes before she spoke.
"I would love to. Like... a real date?"
Lissy was quieter than I expected but she walked toward me, hand reaching to grasp mine as we met one another on the driveway.
"Yes. I want to take you on a real date. I would love to do it on my actual birthday, if possible. Would Friday work?" I felt my stomach flip as she looked up in my eyes, a familiar playfulness now in her smirk as the feeling of butterflies consumed me.
She consumes me.
"Friday sounds incredible. Want to do your party on Saturday?" Lissy asked, tilting her head as my hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer.
"Party?"
Alice's head nestled into my chest and I felt her laughter reverberate through my body thanks to our closeness. "Of course, doofus. Cake and ice cream at the very least!"
I turned a moment to check on Dad and noticed him look away as soon as our eyes met. Knowing he was watching made me anxious, especially when I noticed the curtains rustle in the house and felt even more exposed at the knowledge that Benji was also paying attention. "Actually, I have a great idea... why don't we have dinner out and then do dessert with everyone after for my party? It's not like you have any hostess duties to handle for cake and ice cream so I can help with the prep the day before and we can do an earlier day and have dinner then invite people over at like 8 or something for dessert."
Alice looked back up at me with a bright grin. "I love that idea! It's the best of both worlds. Benji and Greg can hang out and play video games while we're out, too. Bonding time." She leaned to the side and waved at Dad, hollering, "See you tomorrow, Greg!" before turning back to me. "You're pretty smart. You sure you actually want to take me on a date?"
Her inflection on the word "me" made me chuckle, especially since Liss wiggled her head and poked into my chest with her finger as she spoke.
I had never been around someone who so thoroughly squeezed this much joy out of life, in spite of how much tragedy they suffered. So many people I knew would allow even small inconveniences to ruin their day but Liss can go through massive trauma and somehow find a way to thrive.
My hand reached up to cup her cheek before I leaned down, kissing her gently. "I'm sure I love you, Liss. Not just that I want to take you on a date."
Author's Note
I'll keep posting as I am able. I wish I could promise a set upload schedule but we had another loss in my family (my mom's stepmom passed away this last weekend after battling dementia for decades) plus everything else that is still going on. Life keeps going and writing this book is important to me. I want to be more resilient like Alice but I need to also appreciate joy and moments in life like Remington is learning so this is an exercise in grief and healing for me as well. Thank you for your patience and grace as we keep going through this.
Remington's birthday will be soon, and the next Benji POV chapter will be chapter 50.... spoiler alert!
Love you all xx