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Song: I Found
Artist: Amber Run
I found love where it wasn't suppose to be...
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Murphy's P.O.V.
Why the fuck did I think sending that was a good idea? I regret sending the message the second the writing in the text bar is enveloped in a blue bubble and underneath, in a faint grey, reads: Delivered. What was I thinking? I automatically create situations in my head of "the worst case scenario." He will probably text back something like I'm busy... or, Why?
I groan, tossing my phone to the end of the bed, making a mental agreement with myself. I say it out loud so that I follow through. "I, John Murphy, will not look at my phone for the rest of the night. Even if it buzzes or whatever." I close my eyes, wondering how my mom's paying my phone bill, when it buzzes. I spring out of bed to go retrieve it. I mentally punch myself for not following through with my deal but whatever.
I grab my phone, my jaw set tight. Here goes nothing. I open it. Sure! Meet me at my house at 7. I live closer to the theatre.
"Holy shit." my words leave my mouth without my knowledge.
"Shut up in there!" Mom slurs, but I don't I don't let the fact that she's drinking bother me tonight. Nothing's going to ruin my night. Great. I text back. The plastered smile on my face starts to hurt. I guess I'm not used to smiling this much. It's a date then. He texts.
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Bellamy's P.O.V.
I fall asleep with a smile on my face. I have a date with someone I'm actually interested in.
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SATURDAY MORNING;
I wake up earlier than usual, around 8:00 A.M. to start getting ready for tonight. I know that he's only going to be here at 7:00 P.M., but I want to look good. It takes me about two hours to settle on what I am going to wear: blue jeans, not too tight, but not too loose, a button down shirt and a sweater overtop with black converse. I look like I could work at Urban Outfitters. The only thing I am missing is a sleeve tattoo, spacers and a beard. I change back into my sweats as to not run the risk of getting my outfit dirty during the day. I'm probably not going to end up doing anything.
I haven't even dealt with my sexuality yet. I'm going to be blissfully ignorant until I need to deal with it. Sounds good.
"Well, well, doesn't someone look chipper this morning." Mom remarks while putting down her cup of tea and Dad looks up from the stove where he's making pancakes.He does most of the cooking and I don't argue. He's a great chef.
"Your mom's right. You do look pretty happy, you're also up before noon." he laughs.
"I have a date tonight." I say quietly and a mild blush creeps onto my face. Mom's face lights up and she runs over and hugs me, squealing into my ear. She pulls away.
"Who's the lucky girl?" at this point, everyone is staring at me and it dawns on me that no one knows that I'm not technically 'straight' I guess I'm bi? I'm an idiot, a complete idiot for not being more careful. I guess this is as good a time as any.
"Um, actually, it's actually a lucky b-" I'm cut off by the ring of the telephone, which Mom goes to get.
"Oh hey Karen! How are you? I haven't spoken to you in forever!" she exclaims. Thank God. Everyone goes back to eating and cooking and I take it as my sign to leave. I bolt up the stairs, closing the door quickly behind me. I pace back and forth a bit, when suddenly, I hear a knock on the door.
"Yeah?" an excited Octavia runs to my bed and starts to jump.
"What's the girl's name? Do I know her?" she questions and I'm at a loss for words. Do I tell her and make her keep it secret? Do I lie and tell her it's some girl named Jessica or Molly or some bullshit lie? I decide to go with what's right. I sit her down next to me.
"Actually Octavia, I'm going on a date with a.. boy." I expect her to look befuddled or confused after I say this but no, all she asks is, "Who is he? Do I know him?" I smile.
"Yes, actually, you remember Murphy? You met him earlier this week, he was the one who had a karate accident." she nods and simply says, "Oh, I remember him, he looks nice. Have fun!" she gives me a hug, but before she bolts off to do God knows what, I stop her and look her in the eyes.
"Mom and Dad don't know yet, and I want to be the first to tell them okay? Can you keep this a secret?" she doesn't say anything. All she does is pinky-promises not to.
At around six-thirty, I get ready. When I'm pleased with my outfit, I walk over to the bathroom to gel my hair. I knock first, and all I get is a, "What?" Then I hear water running and realize that Octavia is taking her bath. Dammit, she won't be out for another forty-five minutes and Murphy's going to be here in half an hour. How the hell am I going to gel my hair? Okay now I'm panicking. I look at myself in my mirror in my room and cringe. I mean it isn't that bad, but I wanted it to be gelled. I ruffle it to make it look somewhat good. I hate my curly hair.
By the time I'm completely ready, I walk downstairs to wait. When the doorbell rings, I run to open it, and Murphy's standing there and damn. His style is very typical bad-boy. He wears black skinny jeans, a white T-shirt, a leather jacket, and combat boots. His face still sports a few cuts from the fight on Monday, which helps him look more dangerous. I guess I stare too long because I received a, "Enjoying the view?" that makes me blush.
"You look nice too." he winks at me, and my cheeks burn even more.
"Thanks." I say timidly.
"Bellamy? Who's there?" Crap. I was planning on just leaving and texting her, telling her that I left. I take a deep breath, pulling myself together when she rounds the corner.
"Mom, this is Murphy. My date." I stare at her with warn. She looks shocked to say the least.
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Blake," Murphy extends a hand to my mother.
"Nice to meet you too, Murphy," she says nervously, shaking his hand.
"Be home by eleven." she tells me with a smile and pulls me into a hug. "We are talking about this when you get back." she whispers to me.
"Love you too." I reply and with that, we leave.
The walk to the theatre is a lot less awkward than I thought. We decide on the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. When we get to the ticket booth, I pulled out my wallet, but Murphy just shakes his head, and pulls out his.
"Murphy, I-" he doesn't let me finish and instead just pays for both tickets.
"Here, I can pay you back." I offer, pulling out money as we walk into the assigned theatre.
Murphy P.OV.
"Babe, shhh... I asked you out, I'm paying." I tell him with a wink. Where the fuck did that come from? I wait from him to point it out and make fun of me or something. Instead, he just pecks me on the cheek and we take our seat.
Half way into the movie, which is pretty hilarious to be honest, Bellamy pulls a 90's movie move and makes a big deal out of yawning and putting his arm around me. I rolled my eyes at what a sap he is, but I don't protest. I just relax. We stay that way until my phone starts to ring and I jump, mumbling a string of sorries as I turn off the ringer. I don't like the fact that his arm is no longer around mine, so I take it, draping it around me, enjoying this boost of confidence I have today. It causes Bellamy to laugh.
"Hey! Shut up over there!" some old man a few row down calls to us. I sigh, getting out of my seat and getting ready to tell him off.
"Hey fuck you man! Wanna go?" I shout at him.
"Excuse me?" here it goes.
"Yeah, wanna go? I'mma whoop your ass!" I threat.
"You're going to what?" the man retorts and no one's focusing on the movie anymore.
"I am going to whoop you're ass, are you deaf?" I ask, going all out.
"Murphy." Bellamy hisses and I place a hand in front of his face.
"Shut up." I say quickly, getting back to business. The man who's in his fifties gets out of his chair.
"You don't know who you're dealing with kid." The man informs me and I scoff.
"You don't know who you're dealing with old man." I throw at him.
"Hey, shut up, some of us are trying to watch the movie!" someone from behind me exclaims and I spin around.
"You wanna go too?" I ask and Bellamy gets up, dragging me out. When we get outside, I don't hesitate to say, "What gives, I wasn't done!" he looks at me dead in the eye and I'm ready to hear some long-ass speech about embarrassing him, but he just breaks down laughing.
We walk home in a fit of laughter, re-enacting the scene, which in Bellamy's opinion, was funnier than the actual movie.On Bellamy's porch, we calm down and Bellamy smiles.
"Thank you for tonight. I had a great time." he tells me with a smile and I study him ruffling his hair which isn't gelled back for once.
"You're hair's cute like this, and I had a great time too. I'll see you later." I tell him and I turn on my heels, starting to walk back. "Hey, hey, whoawhoawhoa, where do you think you're going?" Bellamy says grabbing my arm, spinning me around and pulling me into a kiss.
This isn't like our prior kisses. This is passionate, lust-filled and deep. I feel Bellamy smile, causing me to chuckle. Sadly, the kiss is cut due to a knocking on the window, which startles us both. We turn and see a giggling Octavia staring at us. She then disappears.
All of a sudden, the door unlocks and there she is in a Cinderella-themed sleeping dress.She runs up and hugs Bellamy. He laughs nervously.
"Hey, O, how uh... how long have been looking out that window?" she giggles.
"Long enough- hello Murphy!" she gives me a hug next and I hug her back. I would've loved to have a sibling. I would have had three, if Mom had not aborted them.
"What are you still doing up, Octavia?" Bellamy asks.
"Mommy and Daddy said that they wanted to have a special family meeting when you got home." she announces and Bellamy's face drops. He nods once.
"O-Okay, tell them I'll be in, in a minute okay? I just want to say bye to Murphy" He tells her. She then runs in and closes the door behind her.
"Shit." Bellamy hangs his head.
"Hey," I lift his head up with my hand. "Call me after okay?" he agrees and we kiss goodbye. I'm still not sure if he means his kisses. They feel genuine, but nothing's ever sacred. Is it?
Bellamy P.O.V.
Here goes nothing.
"Hey Mom, Dad..." I walk in, sitting down across from them. I don't like this.
"How was your time?" Dad asks, not looking up from his book, so clearly, he doesn't really care.
"It was really fun. Something funny actually did happen though. So while we were watch-"
"Honey, that's great, and you know that we love you and we'll support you through this confusing time." Mom says, cutting me off. Confusing?
"Mom... I'm bi. I'm not confused." I tell her. She takes a deep breath.
"What's bi?" Octavia asks, to no one in particular, so I take the liberty of explaining.
"Bi, basically means that I like I like boys and I like girls." she nods, understanding. "O, dear, go upstairs." Mom says.
"But..." O, protests.
"Now." my father states. Octavia goes upstairs huffing.
"Bellamy, you are not bi. You're straight. You've known that years." for the first time, Dad looks disappointed in me. As if I've let him down in some way. My heart breaks a little and I choke back tears before stating
"No, Dad. I've known that I've been bi, for years." I say, half lying. I don't even know if bi, is the right word. He still won't look at me.
"Get out of my sight." he, whispers. I stand up and I look to Mom who looks away as well, taking Dad's side... like always.
I calmly walk up to my room, not knowing what to do. I don't really feel anything right now. I've been through so many emotions recently, feeling empty kind of feels like an old friend. I find myself welcoming it with kindness. Feeling nothing's better than feeling pain. Right?
Murphy P.o.v.
I wait patiently for Bellamy to call. Well, patiently isn't the right word. I check my phone every other minute to make sure he hasn't called. When the phone finally rings, it breaks the intense silence in my room. I answer the phone the second I hear it ring.
"Bellamy, hey." all I hear at the other end is light breathing, to hear even that, I have to strain my ears.
"What's wrong?" after a few seconds, I hear him clear his throat.
"My parents are mad because I like boys and girls?"
"Just pack your shit and wait for my outside your house." I hear him mumble an 'okay' and I hang up. I tidy my room up as much as I can, in the short amount of time that I have and I make my way to the front door. I pass Mom on the couch, chain smoking and drinking. She's disgusting. She doesn't even ask where I'm going and quite frankly, I don't give a damn.
I speed walk/jog to Bellamy's house. Three houses away, I hear shouting and then a door slam shut.
I watch Bellamy hit the door with his fist, then collapsing onto the steps and he sits there with his head in his arms. I walk over, sitting next to him.
It's a quiet night. Not a cloud in the sky and most of the snow has melted. Patches of dead grass are showing, but white air still leaves my my mouth when I breath. I'll miss that in the summer.
After a few moments of sitting in a depressing silence, we get up and I take his bag from him. We slowly walk back to my house. I don't think he knows what it's like to be alone. Unfortunately, I do. All too in fact. I'll show him that it's not all that bad. I'll show him that being alone doesn't mean unhappiness. I'm a hypocrite, but I'll lie to make him feel better. We can be alone together.
At my house, I open the unlocked door and pray to god that Mom's passed out. I lead Bellamy inside. Luckily, she is indeed passed out on the couch. I just let out an annoyed, "Ugh" when we pass her.
I show Bellamy to my room and I put his bag on my bed. I'm about to speak when he comes up from behind me, snaking his arms around my waist and giving me a tight. I turn around in his hold and hug him back. This isn't a passionate, cuddly or loving hug. This is a sad hug. An, "I don't want to let go because I don't want to lose you too" kind of hug. I've never shared this type of hug before. I like it in the worst kind of way.
"Thank you," I hear his faint voice mumble into my ear. He sounds so tired. After a few more moments. I show him my bed, letting him get inside.
"You sleep here. I'm going to get other blankets, I'll be right back." I tell him, but he grabs onto my wrist and shakes his head. He gently tugs, mutely telling me to sleep here tonight.
Bellamy P.O.V.
I wake up in a different bed, in a different room, with someone's arms around me. It takes me a second to remember last night's events. I relax knowing I'm safe. He must feel me tense up because he pulls me closer, holding onto me. "You're okay." he mutters into my chest in reassurance, still half asleep. I lay here, wrapped in his arms, and my arms around him, fully awake and thinking of what I must have done to deserve someone like this. Someone who literally threatened to beat two strangers up when one of them had told me to shut up, someone who stayed up all night, just waiting for me to call to let him know I was all right and when he noticed that I wasn't, took me into his own home and held me tight without asking any questions. Being with Murphy, the mix of his cologne that he always wears, mixed with the stale smell of cigarettes, doesn't sound appealing, but I love it because it smells like safe. Safe smells like Murphy and I love Murphy. Yeah, I love Murphy. One fucking week and I'm already in bed, in love with this guy. This better not be a mistake.
He pulls his face from my chest, eyes waking up opening slowly. I could wake up to this every morning, but I look away, remembering why I'm here. All the emotions start flowing again. I love being with Murphy, but sometimes I just need to feel empty, and I can't when I'm with him. I'm not used to this sadness, this loss. Drops of tears begin to fall out of my eyes.
"Hey hey, sh..." he pulls me into a tight embrace. I never want him to let go.
I wake up again, but this time he isn't here. I rub my eyes, sitting up and yawning. I'm still wearing jeans and the button down from last night. You'd think that it wouldn't be comfortable to sleep in, but honestly, it was the best sleep of my life.
I get out of bed, stretching. I check my phone and the time reads 2:24 P.M. Wow. I slept the day away. I sit on the edge of his bed admiring his room. It really suits his personality. It looks lived in, but where is he? He has a desk that, instead of having homework on, has scattered drawings and coloured pens, pencils and paints. I walk over and am amazed at his work. Several of them are abstract, some of them are scenery and there are a few other miscellaneous ones.
I wonder how he can afford all of this. Something tells me he pay for this. I notice how the paints are the same kind of paints we have a school-
"You know what? Fuck you too Mom!" I hear Murphy yell as he walks up the stairs and enters his room. He sees that I'm awake and rubs the back of his neck.
"Sorry you had to hear that. My Mom's being an ass again." he scoffs, closing the door and walks over to where I'm standing, looking at his work with me.
"These are really amazing." I compliment him and he leans in and rests his head in the crane of my neck. "Thanks," Pause, "Babe." he smirks. I smile, pecking him on the lips.
"Listen. I'm sorry about last night... and this morning." I say, avoiding eye contact.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He reassures and I look back at him, upset.
"Who's responsible for you?" I ask the odd question that's been biting my mind. He raises an eyebrow.
"After my Dad died, my Mom kind of renounced her parenting skills, so myself, I guess."
"We can be responsible for each other now." I tell him and he actually looks okay with that.
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