Beyond the horizon, you could see the sun starting to set behind the mountains. The blue clouds were set high in the sky, with highlights of slightly lighter clouds rippling through it in an intricate pattern. It started to fade into pink, then orange as the sun finally dipped behind the mountains. You looked towards the sky, waitfing for the stars to come out.
You sat there, perched comfortably on the cushioned seat in front of the window, simply staring at nothing in particular.
You rested your cheek against the cool window, closing your eyes and breathing out a sigh once you finally felt calm and at peace.
All the noise that was around you was blocked out. The only thing you were focused on was the feeling of the window against your cheek, your arms securely wrapped around your body.
The one thing that brought you out of your comforting state of mind, was the soft click of the door opening and closing.
"Y/N..." Hange sighed. She walked over to you and sat on the window, trying to look at your face. "You missed the meeting today." Her eyes followed where you were looking, and she breathed out a sigh of relief at the sight of the stars.
"Really?" You tore your eyes away from the window to look at her, completely shocked that you forgot about a meeting as important as this one.
"Yeah." She looked back at you, and you knew she wasn't mad. Her eyes holding a look of understanding. "I get it, though. You've been so stressed lately, and it's completely fine if you forgot."
You hummed and stared out the window again. "What did you talk about in the meeting?"
"Well, since Eren infiltrated Marley last year, we got a letter from him. It wasn't much, but it was something to go by... He was just assessing the environment and trying to get information on the whereabouts of our targets... Nothing is really happening over there just yet, but we'll have to see what happens over the next few months. The only important thing he said was that he'd entrust everything to Zeke," she explained.
You nodded and looked back out the window, processing everything she just told you. Even though you already knew Eren was in Marley, it was still a shock to hear.
This was actually happening.
"When are you going home?" she asked, leaning back a bit more to get comfortable.
You thought for a moment.
"I'll leave in a little while... I want to wait for..."
Hange nodded softly as her face filled with worry.
"Are you alright, Y/N?" she asked, moving her hand to rest on top of yours. "You've been distant lately..."
"I'm alright, Hange, don't worry about me." You smiled.
Her eyes held yours for moment longer before she pulled away, making herself more comfortable on the cushioned seat beneath her.
You both sat in silence for a little while, content in sitting in the presence of a close friend. A sister. The only sounds that you could hear were the muffled voices of people outside your office door, and the wind against the windows.
After a while of silence and thinking, you finally spoke.
"Do you think... Do you think he'll come home today?" you whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself like a security blanket.
Hange stared at you, her eyes soft and reassuring. "He might..."
"I feel so bad, Hange." Your eyes started to become glassy. "He's been so stressed out lately, and I've tried to help him... and I'm doing everything I can, but... the effects of my comfort don't last forever."
"Go home, Y/N," she encouraged gently, moving a bit closer to you if you needed her support. "He'll come home to you today, okay? I'll order him to go get some rest if I have to."
You brought your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, hiding your face so Hange wouldn't see the fresh wave of tears you tried so desperately to push away.
"I-I just..." You didn't exactly know how to articulate your words, so you just stopped talking.
Hange put her hand on your back, rubbing up and down and soothing you, ad if she knew you needed the touch.
"It's okay." She continued to rub your back reassuringly. "You'll be alright. Go home and get some sleep. I know you need it."
You looked up at her with remorse and hesitancy swirling in you eyes.
"Please... Keep an eye on him. I... I don't know what to do anymore."
She smiled softly. "I will. Just... Just be there for him. That's all you can do. I know it helps when you're there for him."
You nodded, wiping your eyes with your forearm.
"I'll see you later." She stood.
You gave her a tight smile. "Thank you."
She nodded. "Get some rest." Then, she walked out your office and shut the door with a soft click.
You sighed and held your head in your hands, clenching your eyes shut. You knew you had to go home and get some rest, but you just couldn't bring your body to move. It was like you were stuck, because, if you were being honest, you didn't want to go home without him.
Although every instinct was screaming at you to stay put, you pushed past them and stood. With a shaky breath, you put on your jacket. Then you opened your door.
Right opposite you was another office you desperately wanted to be in. You wanted to run in and see the face you so desperately wanted to see.
But it would be no use, because he would just turn you away, claiming he was fine and that you should get some rest without him.
Just like he had been doing for the past year.
You tried to help, tried to convince him that his work wasn't going anywhere, but he was always so convinced that he was one step closer to completing the promise. The promise he made to Erwin five years ago.
You closed your eyes, loosed a breath and shut your door. Without a second glance at the door opposite you, you walked down the hall, your footsteps echoing through the walls, showing just how lonely you really were in this moment.
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Once you stepped out into the night, you wrapped your jacket around you a little tighter. You underestimated how cold it was, and you didn't really wrap up warm enough, much to your dismay.
You huffed and started the walk to your home. It wasn't that far - a fifteen minute walk to the large house you always felt so alone in.
No one was on the streets at this time, but the lights from many of the houses helped to guide you to your house. The wind danced around your body, making you shiver uncontrollably. You would have to light your fireplace once you got home.
Strangely, instead of walking faster to get out of the cold night, your steps slowed, until you stopped completely. For some reason, you didn't want to be at home. You wanted to be with him. You could feel it in your bones that he needed you, but he would always claim that he was fine, that he didn't need help, that he wasn't stressed to the point where he wasn't getting a blink of sleep.
Your hands started to shake, the coldness of the air nipping at your skin, but you didn't care - you didn't even feel it.
You shook your head to stop any negative thought from racking your brain, just like they always did. You forced your legs to move quickly, and soon enough, the sight of your house came into view.
You breathed a sigh of relief and walked through the front door, happy to be home. You dragged yourself up the stairs and into your bedroom. The hallway was dark, only the moonlight shimmering in.
Once you walked into your room, you slowly started to undress and get ready for bed, but you stopped again, the thoughts you tried so hard to push down, finally surfacing again, now that you never within the comfort of your own home - away from anyone else.
You sat on the edge of your bed with your head in your hands.
He worked so hard for others; everyone expected so much of him. All you wanted to do was get him alone, so he wouldn't have to put up with a facade any longer.
You bit your bottom lip, thinking about what you could do to get him to relax, to pour all him emotions out to you, because you just wanted to listen. It was hard; there was only to much you could do and have him listen to you.
You looked around your bedroom stood, a newfound determination rising deep within your heart. An overwhelming sense of protectiveness over the one you loved the most.
You would do anything - anything to help him.
Even though there was no garuntee he would come home today... You knew in your bones that he would. He couldn't be without you for more than a few days at a time; it would be too much for him, and you knew it. He would always do the small things if he couldn't spend any time with you. He would sit in front of you at your dinner table, eating silently, because he would always be too tired to do anything else. He would sit next to you on the couch, his fingers brushing your skin while you read a book or filled out some paperwork, not daring to go any further because he knew you were tired, too, and you would both have to go to work the next day. He would leave his office door open because it was opposite yours at HQ, so he could always see you, make sure you were okay.
Because, after all these years, he still loved you, cared about you, even though he wasn't fully able to express it with the current work situation you were in.
He did all these things because he knew he wasn't able to give you attention all day, even though it's all he wanted to do. All he wanted to was hold you, kiss you, run his fingers through your hair and whisper sweet nothings to you while you were falling asleep.
But he couldn't. Not right now.
And you were going to make him stop.
He would stop being stressed, tired and sleep-deprived, because you would show him that you were there for him. Today.
Quickly, you walked around your house and adjusted a few things.
Once you were done with that, you sat down on your bed and listened for the click of the front door.
And you waited for your husband to come home.