John had been really clingy. To the point of whining and giving Paul sad puppy eyes if Paul stopped hugging him even to go to the bathroom.
It was weird for Paul to walk to the restroom with John in his arms, and him waiting next to the sink for him to finish doing his business.
It was weird, but not really awkward. In his opinion, someone needed a lot of trust to do that with someone else.
And Paul trusted John very much.
"C'mon, Johnny, get your coat. We're gonna get some hot chocolate, what do you think?" had asked Paul that afternoon.
They hadn't moved from home all day, having slept in late that morning and John still looking troubled -Paul didn't want him to have a breakdown again- so he had cuddled him all morning.
At lunch, he had prepared some soup, something easy and light.
At hearing the words hot chocolate, though, John's eyes had lit up. He had started cheering happily, eyes wide.
Paul was happy to have made John smile, especially after the pain and panic he had endured that night.
So now they were walking towards a café together.
The atmosphere around them was joyous, it looked like Christmas had arrived already.
Kids were running around all dressed in heavy clothes, playing in the small square together.
A huge Christmas tree stood proud in the middle, all lit up and decorated.
As they entered the small coffee shop holding hands, they were hit by the strong smell of coffee and chocolate.
Paul smiled at John, seeing the excitement in his eyes.
They sat quietly together, smiling at each other, their joined hands on top of the table, when the waiter got closer.
"Hi, Ringo" smiled Paul.
Richard, mostly known by his friends as Ringo, was a close friend of Paul.
He was the boyfriend of Paul's childhood best friend, George, and the three had been quite close, even if Paul had always felt like the third wheel to the two lovers.
Ringo's eyes posed over their hands, before going up to John's face.
Paul, feeling John's hand starting to tremble a little, smiled at his friend, "This is John...he's my boyfriend" he said proudly.
He could sense a smile blooming on John's lips at what he said and his smile got even bigger.
Knowing he was the cause of those big beautiful smiles was a proudness.
"Nice to know you, John!" said Ringo happily, giving a smile to the other one. John looked up, shyly smiling at him, before looking down again.
"What can I get you guys?"
"A normal hot chocolate with some whipped cream, thank you" said Paul smiling. Ringo wrote down the order, before turning to look at John.
"A... can I get..." he stuttered out, face growing red as he felt eyes looking at him.
Paul smiled encouragingly, drawing circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.
John took a breath, "Can I get a cinnamon flavoured chocolate with some whipped cream too, please?"
Ringo nodded, "I'll be right back with your chocolates!" he quipped with a goofy smile, before walking away.
The two lovers talked for a while, until Ringo brought their chocolates and sat down with them to chat.
"You should really come this evening with us, then!" shouted Ringo with a happy smile, after hearing that John was a big Elvis's fan, "We're gonna see Elvis's movies, have a few beers together, it will be fun!"
"How many people will be there?" asked worriedly John.
He had warmed up about talking with Ringo, but Ringo was only one person.
John didn't like large crowds of people.
"Oh, don't worry! Only me, my boyfriend George and the two of you. If you want, obviously"
John bit his lip, looking at Paul.
Though he knew Paul loved him and loved to spend time with him, it wouldn't be right for him to rob him of time with his friends.
He smiled a little, "Yeah, it would be nice" he admitted.
How he longed to have some friends and Ringo seemed such a nice person.
John was sure Paul was wise regarding his friends, so he hoped George was nice too.
Ringo beamed, "Great!" and Paul smiled, "We'll be at your house at 9, okay?"
John tuned out the rest of the conversation, letting his boyfriend plan everything, sipping his chocolate with a warm happy feeling spreading in his chest.
When the time to go over George's arrived, Paul went to pick him up from his home.
Mimi had been surprised John had accepted, knowing that his social anxiety was often making him decline any form of social interaction outside of the very tight group of people he trusted.
And yet, John looked very happy to go with Paul and his friends, even if he was kind of worried.
Before going out, Mimi had hugged John, telling him to have fun and that she loved him - John needed to be reminded how much he was loved in order to quell a little his insecurities.
She then looked at Paul, eyes getting teary.
She suddenly hugged him, holding him tightly against her body and rubbing his back, "Thank you" she whispered, voice thick with tears.
Paul sniffled a little, giving a sharp nod and trying to keep in the tears.
Smiling, the two walked out and onto the street.
Paul nudged John's hand with his, smiling when John clung to him. He knew that John had done a big sacrifice of his own issues to come that day.
He knew John was very anxious when around other people.
And yet, there he was. He was there for Paul, so he could hangout with his friends.
Paul smiled, "Thank you, Johnny"
"For what?" asked John, looking confused at the other with a smile.
"For deciding to go out of your comfort zone for me. It has been a very nice gesture"
"Oh...well, I think I might as well get some friends too. Ringo sounded very nice, so I'm sure George will be too" grinned John.
The older man smiled at him, leaning down to press a kiss onto his soft lips, making him sigh softly.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
They walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, holding hands.
The more they got closer to destination, the more John was growing fidgety.
His hands had started to sweat, his eyes were darting everywhere, his teeth were stressing his bottom lip incessantly.
He was so deep into his head he didn't even notice they had stopped walking.
"It's gonna be alright" whispered Paul, bringing John's hand to his lip and kissing it.
John nodded shakily, "it's gonna be alright" he whispered back.
Paul nodded, "Say it again"
"It's gonna be alright" he repeated, sounding more confident.
Paul nodded, leaning over and kissing him, making him melt into the kiss with a sigh.
With a last pat on his shoulder and a last kiss, they knocked on the door, hands still interlocked.
Ringo was happy to see the both of them. He had introduced John to George.
The younger man seemed pretty cool with him, grinning and joking and telling him he was welcomed to hang with them whenever he wanted.
John had felt so grateful to be accepted, he could have bursted into tears.
While they were watching the movie, John was cuddling into Paul's side.
He was curled up in his arms, matching his breath with Paul's and watching the screen intently.
He was starting to feel slightly nauseous, but he couldn't pinpoint what had made him feel like that.
He had been fine only short minutes ago, and yet, now he was starting to feel light-headed.
His eyelids were growing heavy and he was struggling to stay awake.
It wasn't sleep that was pulling him though. Sleep never made him so nauseous.
Maybe it was the beer they had drank?
But the others seemed fine.
Suddenly, he felt the urgent need to throw up and quickly unwrapped himself from his boyfriend's arms, standing up on shaky feet.
Bad move.
As soon as he was standing, the whole world started colouring black.
"John!"
"Oh my God, has he fainted?"
"Love, please, please open your eyes!"
He could hear screams and pats on his face.
Then nothing. Everything was silent and calm.