Tuesday, September 15th, 2020
Ari Pov
"Young is in the hospital" Tae say looking up from his phone
"I don't give a fuck" I say
"You don't want to know why" Tae ask
"No" I say eating my chips "I wish these people would hurry up and bring our food"
"What did you get" Tae ask
"Everything. I haven't ate all day" I say
"You don't want to go by the hospital" Tae ask
"Nope" I say "I don't even want to go on the same street as it. We can go to the club and celebrate though"
"Dominique was hurt" Tae say
"Aw I'm sorry Tae, want me to drop you off" because I don't fuck with him either. They both could die if I'm being honest
"He says his babymama is up there right now" I rolled my eyes "don't start"
He can keep those side bitch tendencies over there. How are you okay that it's other people?
I'm way too selfish with dick. "I didn't say anything" I say. If Tae is okay with that then I just have to leave it alone. It just bothers me a little bit because Tae is far from ugly. He can get his own nigga. "It's just giving my man is my man and your man too or whatever the lyrics are"
"At least he respect me enough to let me know he's still with his babymama" Tae say "can you say the same"
I should've just kept my mouth closed "let you know once the bitch started popping shit. This hoe showed up what two times? Ready to whoop your ass. Ain't no respect in that but go off"
"Dominique never put his hands on me" Tae say
My stomach twirled and I rolled my eyes. They need to hurry up with this food.
This was Tae's first time throwing something in my face. Of course I told him everything that happened I was venting to my friend "and he never made you his bitch either" I didn't want to do this but I also wasn't about to sit here and let him talk shit
"And that's fine but when I call he's going to answer" Tae say
"Unless he's with his babymama. I know I got done wrong. It is what it is at the end of the day. You keep talking about a bitch I don't care about" I roll my eyes.
My friends are really starting to piss me off with this Kay situation. Thinking I'm overreacting!
Like I just can't. That shit is so nasty and disrespectful. She didn't just talk and be friendly with a bitch she fucked her babymama! First it was the rude ass taco selling ass bitch and then she gave her babymama the satisfaction. The hoe already was playing me pussy coming to my shop.
I'm not going to lie if it was another bitch we could probably talk about it but it was the bitch I kept asking her about
"Whatever Ari" Tae roll his eyes
I got out the truck and walked inside. I threw my chip bag in the trash and sat on the bench. I'll just wait for my food here because I'm not about to argue with him over two nothing ass bitches.
I sat and waited before the girl came from around the counter "here you go beautiful"
"Thank you" I stand up
"You got a man" she ask
"Nope and I'm not gay" I say
"I ain't ask you that" she say "can I have your number"
"Sure" I say and she gave me her phone. I started to give her the wrong number but I need more friends. Mine always chasing dick.
"I'm gone call you" she say
"Okay, enjoy the rest of your day" and I grabbed my food and left
I climbed back into Taes truck. I just know my food better be right.
We got outside my house and he didn't go into the parking garage "I'll see you later"
"Okay" I opened the bag and opened the first box and it was mine. I grabbed my shit and got out. Tae is obviously in his feelings and I'm not even about to kiss his ass. We were suppose to spend the day together but obviously that's not happening now.
Once I got up to my house I washed my hands and sat at the island and started eating my food. No Tv, no phone, and no interruptions. I just got lost in my thoughts
I feel like work wise I'm allowing myself to be lazy. I haven't looked at a second building and I'm barely at the shop now. It was a time I was at the shop 24/7. Just finding ways to perfect my craft and ways to expand my business. I just got lazy and comfortable in every aspect of my life.
I wiped the tear that I didn't realize had fallen "why are you crying" I looked up
I be forgetting I'm now housing Madison's grown ass. "I don't know" because honestly although I might not be doing my very best but I've been in way worse predicaments
"Is it because you and that girl broke up" Madison never met Kay and obviously she's not going to but Tae and Santana talk about it so much she found out about her
"No. It has nothing to do with her" I say "it's just have you ever just needed to cry"
"I'm pregnant Ari. That's all I do" I started laughing. She's my sister. We should try to get along.
"Have you talked to mama" I ask
"You tired of me already" Madison ask
It's not that I'm tired of her but I'm not use to having house guest for this long. A few hours a day but not 24/7.
"No I was just asking. That's your mom at the end of the day. You only get one" I say
Madison did this sarcastic laugh "The nerve of you. You went months without talking to her. You didn't even know she was sick. She spent Damn near a month in the hospital fighting for her damn life and you didn't even know"
Guilt rushed over me. "Madison I did not know" which I didn't.
"Duh! That's my fucking point. We get it you lost Kyle but we all lost him! You had the opportunity to leave and we are proud of you but you didn't have to turn your back on us" by now her face was full of tears
"Please do not bring him into this" I say
"I did! I fucking did. Kyle was not just your brother Ariana. You took his best friend and brought him here with you, what about us? You sent us a few dollars but that's it. You making it seem like you had this horrible ass life but in reality you was the fucking Princess" Madison say
That was not the case. I swear that was not the case. "I just couldn't stay in Chicago everyday. Everywhere I went everybody brought up Kyle. I could not be there"
"So you ran from your damn problems! I lost both of my siblings. Went from a house full of laughs to cries and then I was just by my damn self" Madison say "you keep saying he was your brother and he's our brother. We could've helped healed each other"
"I tried Madison. I really tried to stay" I say wiping my eyes
"You didn't try hard enough! Ari you know she was depressed. Bills stop being paid and everything just went left" and it did. I'll admit to that part
"So you wanted me to stay? Sit in the dark with y'all? I had to make a living for myself. Not selling ass or drugs. Kyle told us to get out and I did that" I say "you can't make me feel bad about that"
"What else did Kyle say" Madison wipe her face but tears continued streaming "never turn your back on family! We all we got" my brother lived for family. Every time he walked out the door to make money in the streets he brought that shit back home. He didn't spend it on hoes, jewelry, and designer. My brother was paying for food, lights, water, and anything we needed. It's the truth when I say he was the realest nigga I've ever met
"I never turned my back Madison! How do you think them lights came back on? How do you think you had 30inch weave for school? How do you think your phone bill always got paid? Madison I've been having your back! I might not be there physically but financially I'm there. Always have been and always will" I say
"So you throw a couple of dollars at us and that's it" Madison ask "maybe if I had a big sister I wouldn't pick the niggas I pick"
I started laughing "I'm not the person for that job. I pick the wrong niggas too" Madison smiled "I'm sorry you feel the way you feel. I can't take back the past but we can work towards something" I never checked on Madison. I honestly felt like if she had issues she would reach out to me
"I would like that" Madison say
"But it's gone be rules if you want to stay up here" I say
"Which are" Madison ask
"School. It's not an option" if she doesn't want to do college that's her own business but high school is a must. I'm standing tall on everyone should have a high school diploma or GED.
"I'm pregnant" Madison say
"It's 2020. It's so many programs for you fast ass hoes who gets pregnant in high school" I say making her laugh
"And my babydaddy can come visit" hell no. Fuck no. Whatever else way you can say no
"Baby steps. We not there yet" and will never be. He's disrespectful and I don't like him. I'm just now getting cool with her
Madison gave me a hug. It felt good. Nice to know we aren't enemies.
**
I gagged making me look up.
I stood to my feet and took off running to the bathroom. I quickly emptied my stomach. It's like throwing up is so much work. That shit hurts
I flushed the toilet and stood up "Ariana you better not be pregnant" I rinsed my mouth out and then brushed my teeth.
I'm not some dummy that's gone stand here and be in denial. I'm just going to find out the truth and go from there
I put my sandals on, grabbed my purse, and keys before I left out. Madison is probably sleep. That's all she does is eat and sleep but I get it she's pregnant.
I got to my car and quickly pulled out. I didn't even realize I was driving in complete silence because my thought were making up for it
"Me with a baby" I don't know about that. Sounds like disaster honestly. I think my kid would hate me. I'm not married and they would be brought into something broken. Very fucking broken.
Once I was at the pharmacy I just grabbed two pregnancy tests.
I got home and peed on both. Longest fifteen minutes of my life.
"God if you let that test be negative I promise I will not have anymore sex until I'm married. Can we please make that deal? I'll stop cussing, smoking, and even drinking. Just let that test be negative" I was so scared to look
Really I haven't even had sex since Trent. That was like two and a half three weeks ago.
Positive. Positive
I walked out the bathroom and rubbed my eyes. I walked back in because it's no way I read that right
Positive. Positive
Before I could process it. I started bawling. I don't want this thing. It's not happening. Not at all
I grabbed my keys. I have to talk to someone about this. Someone who is going to carry this weight with me
I parked and got out. I didn't even realize how bad I was shaking until the door opened. "Fuck on crack or some shit? Fuck you shaking like that for"
"Bitch fuck you" I say looking Kay up and down. I let myself in.
I walked towards the back of the house and opened Tae's door. I was not here for Kay. Sorry not sorry. That bitch ain't gotta know because this fetus is gone by the end of this week.
I gagged and my stomach turned and I closed the door. I walked out and to the hall bathroom. I thought I emptied all my lunch earlier but here's the rest of it
"You pregnant or some" I looked up at Kay
I thought this bitch was in the hospital.
I flushed the toilet and got up "or some" I rinsed my mouth out and washed my hands
"You don't gotta have a damn attitude with me. I just asked a question" Kay say
"Well don't. Don't ask me shit. I don't fucking with you and I don't want to talk to you" I say
"You a child. You need to grow up" Kay say
The fucking nerve of this cheating ass hoe "and you need to learn how to keep your dick in your pants. Dirty dick bitch" because if she knew how I would not be sitting on this couch
She started laughing "dang you said that hard. Dirty dick bitch" she mock me "I guess you have your reasons to feel like that so I ain't gone trip"
I didn't want to speak to her. She obviously doesn't care that our relationship is over. She hasn't called or texted now I'm in her face and this bitch is just being a smart ass.
Tae finally came out. "Sorry you had to see that" I rolled my eyes at Dominique. I don't know why the fuck he's talking to me
"We need to talk" although we just had a little disagreement earlier my problem was bigger. I had to talk to someone who always has my back.
"Oh well we out anyway" Dominique say "preciate it" he put his hand out. This man put his hand out like they just finished playing basketball or some shit. Like I just saw Tae riding dick and the nigga is asking him to dap him up, what the fuck?
"Tae I got it in the car" I do mind shooting this nigga in his face. This is really fucking bothering me
"It's okay" Tae say and dapped this nigga up. I'm fucking done. I don't want any dick that Dominique has.
Dumb and dumber finally left and I looked at Tae "I'm pregnant" the words felt so damn weird coming out my mouth
"Congratulations" Tae dance
"No. Don't do that. It's not a congratulations. I'm getting an abortion" I say
"Ari" Tae say
"Ari nothing" I say
"I'm not calling you a hoe" I knew what he was about to ask and I have no reason to be mad behind it
"What" but for him to know the answer he's going to have to be bold enough to ask
"Who does that baby belong to" Tae ask
"It's hers" I say
"Well you need to talk to her before you decide to abort it. She has say so" Tae say
"She has nothing" I say "my body my choice"
"Her nut, your body, y'all choice" Tae say
"Once it left her body she lost all rights to it" I say. I would never tell Kay. This is just something I'll take to the grave. I don't want nothing that'll make us have to keep in touch.
"Ari that's not right" Tae say. All the times I talked about an abortion I wasn't joking but obviously they took it as joking or they just wasn't expecting me to go through with it
Nothing I ever do is right. People always find some damn way to blame Ariana.
"Can you take me please" I ask
"Oh you want me to be apart of this" Tae ask
"Never mind. I'm leaving" I say
"Ari I'm going to be there" Tae open his arms. This is how it suppose to be. Us against everything and everybody.
Once my head hit his chest the tears started again "I don't know how I allowed this to happen"
"I do. Raw sex. Raw sex is how you got in this predicament" never again. Nothing is sliding in me again without a condom. Thirty minutes of joy is not worth this thirty minute procedure
"I've been having raw sex for years" and this bitch just gone come in a few months and fuck it up
"Maybe you and Young got soul ties" my stomach did this weird shit
"She doesn't have a soul" I say "so no we don't have soul ties"
That's how I spent the rest of the night. Well morning because when I got here it was already like ten going on eleven. Cuddled up with Tae. I'm done with dick. It just confuses me and make my life way harder than what it has to be. I'm so done.
Friday, September 18th, 2020
It was protestors all outside of planned parenthood. They were yelling and had signs and shit.
I put my shades on and we got out. We started walking "my tax dollars are not for you to abort your kids"
My stomach made a noise making me look at the bitch "good thing I brought my wallet" I do not care what anybody has to say
"You laid down and made the baby you should raise the baby" She yell
We walked inside and to the counter "Ariana Fletcher" I say
The lady started looking over something "okay sign here" I signed the paper "is this dad"
"Oh no. I'm gay" Tae say
"We need did to sign" the lady look at me
"So you really not gone claim your baby" I ask looking at Tae "niggas am I right? Sign the paper Tae"
"He's gay" the lady say
"Nothing a little Hennessy can't fix" I hand him the pen
"I'm sorry but no" the lady say
I groaned. I'm sorry to say this "I was raped" I'm desperate. I just need a way to get on that table and get this thing up out my body.
"I'm sorry but no. You have a good day" I smacked my lips
"Now when I go tumbling down the stairs blame yourself" I say. I can not have this thing
"Ari" Tae yell
Ari fucking nothing. She's being a bitch like she gone raise this fetus "ma'am I'm not approving you for an abortion until your bring dad in here. You have a nice day"
We walked out and I rolled my eyes. I could not abort this thing. Everybody wanted a father's signature and Tae wasn't signing without me speaking to Kay.
I really wanted to tell her but I can not. That bitch is dead wrong for the shit she pulled. Not only did she lie to my face countless times but she had to nerve to try and put me in check and I wasn't the one in the wrong.
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