Liam
"Sweetheart, you look so beautiful," I told Bea, who kept twirling around in her dress. "But if you don't hurry up, we are going to be late to Tiff's wedding and we don't want that, do we?"
She immediately stopped twirling and woke at me with wide eyes.
"No, no, no. We can't be late," she said and ran back into her room to grab her shoes.
Bea had been excited for the wedding, ever since she learnt about it. Well, to put it more accurately, when realised that a wedding was like the end of the fairytales she read.
When she first told me that, I thought it was cute, until she said she couldn't wait for her own wedding. She could wait. She'll wait for ages. It won't be happening any time soon, if I could help it.
I shook my head at the thought and quickly snapped out of it when I nearly stumbled back. I hadn't noticed that Bea ran back into the room, but in her haste, crashed into my legs.
"I'm ready!" She looked at me, with a wide grin on her face.
There was really never a dull moment with Bea.
"Perfect. Let's go," I smiled, holding my hand out to her.
She held onto my hand and we left my home, heading to Tiff's wedding.
***
As soon as we entered the hall, I looked around and saw all the decorations and the entire set-up, which looked great, but memories began surfacing and I kept trying to push them back.
Seeing all of this, I couldn't help but think of my own wedding and all the memories and emotions that came with it.
Whilst standing in the middle of hall, at the aisle, my mind kept flashing back to that moment, where I thought I had everything. I thought from that moment, my life would be nothing but happiness. Only for it detour and things came crashing down a year later.
I couldn't help but think about everything from all those years ago, until I felt a tug on my hand and I snapped out of the memories.
"Daddy?" Bea looked up at me, a small pout on her face.
I smiled at her and as soon as I did, she grinned.
She wasn't joking that she liked it when I smiled. I could only assume that I looked sad, but whenever Bea caught me looking that way, she'd frown until there was a smile on my face.
When I looked at her, I remembered my happiness.
I crouched down in front of Bea and her hands moved up to hold me face, squishing my cheeks slightly.
"You looked sad," she said.
"I was for like a second. But then I saw you and now I'm happy again," I told her, holding onto her hands and placing a kiss onto them.
She grinned and let out a little squeal, before wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly.
This was the best feeling in the world.
I chuckled and stood up, carrying Bea with me and placing a kiss on the side of her head.
"Let's go find the bride now," I said and Bea nodded.
***
"Tiff, you look amazing," I told my cousin, who was dressed up in her wedding gown and truly looked beautiful.
She smiled, shyly. "Thank you, Liam."
Then she stepped forward, away from the mirror she was standing in front of. Tiff walked towards me and stopped in front of me, held my hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.
"What's wrong?" I asked in concern.
"Nothing. I just...I wanted to thank you for actually coming to my wedding and not deciding against it at the last minute. I know it can't be easy being here and I'm grateful," she said.
I smiled at her and also at her worry for me.
"Where else would I be?" I smiled and then hugged her. "Plus, Bea would never forgive me if she missed this," I added and Tiff laughed.
Currently, my daughter was with my Dad. The last that I had heard, whilst walking away from her, she was telling him the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming.
It was quite sweet to see him listen patiently and react as if he'd never heard the story before.
"You look better now, Liam." Tiff then commented.
I frowned at her words. "How bad did I look before?"
She chuckled lightly, shaking her head. "No, before you looked...lost. Now, you seemed to be doing better. I'm glad," she said.
"I am...doing better," I said.
Tiff smiled at me, reaching up and placed a hand against my cheek.
"Stay this way," she said and I leaned against her hand, nodding.
I know what she meant and I hoped that I would be able to stay this way.
Before we could say anything more, one of Tiff's bridesmaids called out to her.
"Tiff, your veil!"
When she looked back at me and I smiled. I could tell that she concerned about leaving me alone, but this wasn't a day for her to worry about me. It was her day.
"Go, it's okay," I told her.
Tiff grinned before hugging me tightly and then quickly went to towards her bridesmaids.
Her energy was like Bea's, it was sweet.
As I left the Bride's room, I walked out into the corridor, deciding to head back to Bea. It was probably time to relieve my Dad from Grandpa duty and also from listening to Cinderella's story all over again.
Just as I walked around the corner and checked my watch, I found myself crashing into someone.
"I'm..." I was about to apologise to the stranger, until I saw that it wasn't actually a stranger. "Mum," I smiled. "Sorry, I didn't see you."
She laughed and patted my arm. "Oh, honey. I was actually coming to look for you."
That quickly caught my attention. "Why? What's wrong?"
Mum frowned and shook her head. "No, I just wanted to talk to you for a second."
I looked at her confused. "Right now? During the wedding?"
"Yes, actually," Mum narrowed her eyes. "Do I need a specific time that I can talk to my son?" She asked.
This was where Bea got her dramatic personality from.
"No, Mum," I smiled, as she had her eyes narrowed at me. "You don't need a specific time."
"That's what I thought," she nodded.
For a brief second, I assumed this is what my Dad would go through - saying something, putting his foot in it, then having to backtrack and apologise, essentially proving Mum right.
She a real talent of always being right - no matter what the situation.
"Do you want to sit or...?" I asked.
"Let's sit," Mum said, linking her arm with mine and then began to lead me away.
Mum seemed to know exactly where she was going, since she lead me to a bay window where we then took a seat.
I wasn't all too surprised. Mum had really been there for Aunt Lucy and Tiff with all the planning. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew or had the blueprints to this place.
As soon as we sat down, Mum gave me this look that was full of concern. She seemed hesitant to talk and I could see her pursing her lips.
"What's wrong, Mum?" I asked.
"Nothing's wrong, Liam," she sighed. "I just- I wanted to check in and make sure you were okay."
I honestly felt like I was getting more attention than the actual bride.
Reaching forward, I held onto Mums' hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm okay," I told her.
Only, she didn't look so convinced.
"Are you?" She questioned.
"I'm not not completely okay," I confessed. "But I promise there isn't going to be a meltdown or an outburst. I'm good."
I knew that Mum wouldn't just accept some sort of half-hearted answer from me. She wanted the truth - even if I wanted to hide it.
"You know I love you, baby. Right?" Mum then asked, cupped my face with one hand.
"I do," I said, holding onto her wrist gently. "Although, I don't love that you still call me baby. I'm thirty and a father to a little girl."
Mum slipped her hand out of my hold, only to smack me on the arm.
"And you're still my child," she said, emphasising the last word.
I chuckled at her words. I guess I understood, since now that I had Bea, I even when she grew up I wouldn't be able to think of her as anything other that my little girl.
"This can't be easy for you," Mum sighed and I looked at her in slight confusion. "Today."
"It isn't," I shook my head. "But it's not unbearable. Maybe a year ago or a few months, I wouldn't even be able to stand here. But I can right now."
Ever since that day Bea and I had visited Julie's grave, I had essentially made a promise to myself to at least try and be better. To not let my grief consume me. Not only was it hurting me, but also those around me.
It's be a slow progress, but progress nonetheless.
"I know your Dad told you that story of when I had that accident," Mum said, rather randomly it seemed.
I nodded slowly. "Yeah, he did."
After Dad had told me that story, I understood that it was quite a sensitive subject for the both of them, since neither one liked to mention it. I didn't want to ever bring it up either.
"You know, he was afraid of so much after that," Mum mentioned.
"What?" I asked, confused.
Mum let out sigh. "When I'd cross the road, drive, when he'd drive, if we were even stood on the pavement. He was terrified. Sometimes I could see it in his eyes. Pain and fear," she said, her words trailing off at the end.
The far away look on her face right now made me think she was remembering it all over again.
"I can understand that," I told her.
Mum turned to look at me, with a sad smile across her face. "I used see this pain in your eyes too. It broke my heart to see you so defeated," she said, her eyes tearing up.
Holding her hands, I gave them a gentle squeeze. "Mum-"
She shook her head, stopping me from continuing. "But you're so much better now," Mum said, smiling a little wider now. "I saw it when you moved back from Australia and I see it so much more now. You have this light in you, Liam. And I pray that it never goes out again."
I didn't know what to say to her, so instead, I hugged tightly, resting my head on her shoulder. In this moment, I felt like a little child seeking comfort from my Mum, but I guess that was exactly what this was.
"I love you, Mum," I mumbled.
I could feel her hand stroke the back of my head affectionately. "My baby," she kissed the side of my head, smacking it when I rolled my eyes at her calling me 'baby'. I don't even know how she knew I did that.
She the kissed my head once more. "I love you, too."
When we both pulled away, Mum wiped her eyes. "Gosh, it feels like I'm giving you away today," she joked and I chuckled.
I stood up after, holding my hand out for Mum, helping her up too. "I should go and check on Lucy. She's been bawling like a baby since last night," Mum said.
I nodded at her and Mum began to walk away, until I called out to her.
"Mum," I said,
She hummed and turned around to look at me, a slight confused frown on her face.
Moving forward, I gave her another hug, only this time she laughed and patted my back.
This probably didn't help my argument that I wasn't a baby.
***
After that little heart-to-heart with Mum, I walked down the corridor, heading to where I last saw my Dad with Bea. She must have spoken a lot by now and definitely needed something to eat and drink to maintain that energy within her.
Apparently today was a day where I just crashed into people, since I turned the corner and bumped into someone again.
Their body crashed into my chest and I held onto them securely, hoping they didn't fall.
As soon as the person looked up, I couldn't help but smile, especially with the goofy grin plastered on their face.
"Are you okay?" I asked Rena, who was holding onto my arms, trying to regain her balance.
I hadn't even realised my hands were on her waist until she stopped holding onto me, after which I removed my hold from her as quickly as I could.
"Thank you," she smiled.
For some reason, I felt the tips of my ears heat up at her smile. It was unnerving in a way. Maybe it was just too hot in the corridor. That had to be it.
Before I could say anything, I heard another very familiar voice.
"Serena, are you okay?" Bea asked frantically, standing right next to us, with a worried expression on her face.
"I'm good, sweetie," Rena said, gently stroked back Bea's hair.
"What were you doing?" I asked, feeling utterly bewildered at how Rena crashed into me and also what Bea was doing with her, since my Dad was supposed to be watching her.
"Coming to find you," Rena answered quickly.
However, Bea then spoke right after her. "Dancing through the corridor."
At her words, I looked at Rena, who gave me a sheepish smile in return, a faint hue of red on her cheeks.
"I was heading to see Tiff when I found Bea and your Dad. She wanted you and said you were with Tiff so I thought I could bring her," she told me.
I chuckled at her, especially when she looked so guilty. Her face resembled a child who had been caught with their hand in a cookie jar.
Damn it. There was that unnerving feeling again.
"Thank you," I told her and then picked Bea up in my arms and she happily complied, holding onto my shoulders tightly.
Rena smiled. "I should go find Tiff. I'll see you both later," she waved.
When she began to walk away, I stopped her, calling out her name.
She turned around and looked at me, her head tilting slightly in question.
The issue was, I literally have no clue why I stopped her. I didn't know what to say.
Well, I kind of knew, but that wasn't something I could tell her. She'd think I was an idiot if I told her she made me feel nervous and that it unnerved me when she smiled and that I could feel my pulse rise and heart in my mouth when she looked at me.
"Liam?" Rena said my name and I still stood there frozen.
"You...um, you're...I think..." I stuttered like a bumbling fool, unsure of what to say and now my throat felt dry. Great.
"Pretty," Bea said.
I looked at her and sighed in relief. She saved me.
Rena laughed at that and I couldn't help but just stare at her. I probably looked like a creep, but I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of her.
"Thank you," she smiled and waved at us again, before walked away.
It wasn't until she was out of sight, that I turned to look at Bea, who seemed to be looking at me, like I was a lost cause and I didn't blame her.
I sighed, shaking my head. "I know."
***
Hope you liked the read :)