NINA's POV
"Please just let me see her?" Ian begged me at the door of my house. Indiana and Isabella were out with Claire, James and Elle. They went to the zoo. So she wasn't here anyway. But if she was here. I wouldn't let him in to see her either. "No Ian...Go Home." "My daughter is here. She's my daughter too. She can't keep her from me." He said raising his voice in frustration. "She's not here," I tell him flatly. "She's been staying here. Because she's not at Paul's. Or Kat's. The only other place she'd go is here with you."
On cue, she pulled up in the car. "I told you she wasn't here." She got out of the car with a smile on her face before it fell flat when she saw Ian. "Isabella." "Indie is asleep." She tells him to go to the back and getting Indie out and walking past Ian through the house. Chris took Indie from her. "You can't keep her from me," Ian said to her. "I'm not. You haven't asked to see her. It's been three weeks Ian!" "You left in the middle of the night with our daughter." "And you fucked Nikki and got her knocked up." Isabella was pissed, she's been struggling to adjust to not having Ian around. Chris and I had been helping her as much as we could but we had three children of our own. I think when she processes and moves on from the hurt Ian had put her through she'll cope perfectly fine. She used to watch all her nieces and nephews at once and never got overwhelmed. I genuinely think she's struggling with the pain Ian has put her through. "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I was so dumb and Naive to forgive you for it." She said back. "Please I just want to talk... We can work through this." "I'll call you when Indie wakes up and you can see her."
"I want to talk to you." "I don't." She said bluntly turning away from Ian and closing the door. She leant against it and squeezed her eyes shut. "Isabella?" I questioned when her tears began free-falling, cascading down her cheeks leaving trails of her mascara. "Isabella...Don't give him the satisfaction." I touch her hand and she pulls away from me before swinging the door open. I pulled her back inside before she went and did something she regretted. She turns her pain into anger and I didn't fancy hiring a company to come rid the drive of Ian's glass from his car.
"I just want my mum." She cried into my chest when I managed to pull her into a tight embrace. It broke my heart that the one thing that would make her feel better was unattainable. "I know baba."
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❤️:162,478
💬:94,367
👥: @ClaireHolt
📷: @ClaireHolt
@Isabella: Thank you Aunty Claire for the trip to the zoo... Our Princess loved it!
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@ClaireHolt: James and Elle loved it too! They adore their new cousin! More family day trips are needed!
@Username1: I love how the @TVD cast still hangs out despite the show being over for almost 2 years now! True friendship!
@Username2: When will you share a picture of your baby @Isabella?
@Username3: Will you be sharing her name soon? @IanSomerhalder @Isabella
@KatGraham: So glad you had a good day! Sad I missed it :(
^@ClaireHolt: Next time! Miss Amelia and Elle can go do their three-year-old thing together
@Nina: Sad I missed my nieces first trip to the zoo!
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ISABELLA'S POV
Indie was sat on the bed playing with her toys whilst I was in a text argument with Ian. I said I'd get Chris to drop Indie to him, but he said no. He wanted me to. But I don't want to see him and I don't want to stop him from seeing his daughter. And he should want to see her enough to get over the part where I wasn't going to be interacting with him. But he was so hung up on it.
He kept trying to call me but I wasn't ready to hear his voice. His voice made me feel physically sick because no matter what he say's alls I can hear is his confession, him telling me Nikki was having a baby... His baby. I wasn't ready to forgive him for that yet. I don't think I'll be ready for a while.
"Shall we get you to bed little miss?" I asked Indie and she looked at me with one of her teething rings in her mouth. Her big blue eyes were electric with innocents, she was oblivious to the whole crazy situation. I wish I was too. If he didn't tell me we could have moved past it, got on with our lives as if it never happened. But now I have to live with the fact I wasn't enough for him...And I hated that thought. It was eating me up alive. What could I have done differently to not make him pull away from me and turn to another woman for comfort? What could I have said, or done? I never felt insecure in our relationship. I always trusted him. I never doubted him, or the love he expressed for me. But now I'm questioning everything. Every moment, every detail, was it all fake? Was he miserable? Did he even still love me?
We were happy two years ago. We were happy. We were filming for TVD. We were travelling the world. Then we found out we were having Indie and I don't think I could have been any happier. Ian seemed so pleased like he had just won the lottery. In our eyes we had, we got our beautiful amazing baby. Ian was there 100%, He loved me.
Now we're staying in separate houses, both miserable and our baby has to deal with the fact her parents might not be together when she grows up. I didn't want that for her. I wanted her to have the life I had, with both loving parents in the home, I didn't want this for her. But it would probably do more damage to her if Ian and I stayed together.
We'd have his other child in our house on weekends. How was I meant to care for someone else children knowing that they were the result of my husband's adultery? I don't think I could do that. So for now it was best we have separate things in life.
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IAN'S POV
Isabella Somerhalder was spotted out with Friend and former cast member Claire Holt and their children this past weekend at the zoo. Her Husband along with her wedding ring was nowhere to be seen. Is this the end of E-A-Bella?
People were already noticing her not wearing her ring. I sat looking at the rings that were between my fingers. When I found these in the safe my heart dropped to my stomach. I knew she was upset, furious hurt but it never crossed my mind she'd leave. She's always been there for me. Supported me through every mistake I've made, she's always been accommodating and understanding. Though this mistake was past her being understanding... I don't blame her for leaving. I hate myself for hurting her. For making her feel so small. I hate myself so much.
When she closed the car door and ran inside I knew I had lost her, that love I normally saw pushing through in her gaze was fading. She frowned deeper than it had been before, the tears pooled in her eyes but she held them back. The way she pulled away from my touch as if I was burning her skin but she was hesitating because it was keeping her warm all at once, she was in a trance-like state, she was confused and hurt. I did that to her.
She was bringing Indie over to the house today, so I could see her. I wanted to see Indie, I wanted to spend time with her, but I just wanted to see Isabella too. See her big blue orbs, her long wavy hair, freckled littered skin. I wanted to see her smile but I knew I would witness that today or for a while. I only bring her pain right now.
There was a knock on the door so I placed the rings back on her nightstand, ready in case she ever came home back to me. To be with me. They would be there for her to slip on and we could just go back to where we were before I screwed everything up. I ran down the stairs and answered the door. I frowned when I saw Isabella holding Indie on her hip. "You could have just come in." "Not my house." She said stepping in when I stepped to the side. "It's your home, Isabella," I tell her meaning it. This was our home together, it always will be.
"She ate at 12." She told me, putting Indie's bag down on the sofa in the family room. "Okay." "Did you want to keep her overnight or shall I come to pick her up before bath time?" She asked smiling a tight smile at Indie. "Why don't you both stay tonight?" She looked away from our daughter with a 'really' kind of look. "No Ian." She said firmly. "Stay for dinner at least." Dinner was hours away but I just missed her, I wanted her around. She looked skinnier than when I last saw her, I didn't think she could lose any more weight. "I'm good thank you." "Have you been eating?" "That's no longer any of your concern." She said turning back to Indie as she pulled her jacket closed around her so I couldn't see her rips popping through under her sports bra.
"I'll have her overnight." She nodded and pushed her lips together in a straight line. She's never been away from Indie... Only when she had her operation but she was still in the hospital. "I don't have to keep her," I say, I've already made things hard for her I didn't want to add to her stress. "No, it's fine. I know she'll be fine." She assured me. "I'll send you updates." She nodded. "Mummy will see you in the morning." She said to Indie. Indie made grabbing hands at her. "You're staying with Dada tonight." "Mama," Indie said as Isabella straightened up. "You'll have fun!" She said with a big smile to encourage the almost one-year-old. I picked Indie up and she was squirming in my embrace trying to get her mum to take her. Indie hadn't been away from Isabella either.
"Mummy loves you, Princess." She pecked her cheek. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm going to check on the horses." She said before running out the back. Indie was moaning for her mum, her bottom lip pouted and tears pooled in her eyes. I distracted her with her toys in the playroom and she settled.
Bella didn't say bye, I heard the car pull out of the drive so I knew she had left.
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I texted Isabella throughout the day and evening letting her know how Indie was doing. This is the most we've communicated since England. Although it wasn't an amazing conversation I was just glad we were talking.
When she came in the morning to pick her up she waited in the car and Paul came and got Indie. Indie's face lit up when she saw her uncle, I was disappointed I didn't get that reaction but it's what I get for not reaching out to her for a month. I wanted to. I really did but I knew I hurt Bella enough. I didn't want to make anything worse.
I still saw the pain in her eyes I caused. I wanted to beat myself up for doing that to her. All these years we've been together. And now I chose to fuck up and break her. I was the one who helped her through her pain not added to it. We were there for each other. That's what we did!
I waved to Isabella when she got out of the car to hug Indie. She forced a smile back, she and Paul were talking but I couldn't hear what they were saying as they were too far away. I assume he was telling her what I had told him. About when Indie last ate and all the boring baby stuff.
They pulled out the drive and I went back inside to the big boring house, alone.
I went into the kitchen and found a bottle of bourbon that was leftover from a party. I went into the cabinet to get a glass out and pour myself some. Yes, it was only 11 in the morning but I needed this. I ended up ditching the glass after the first one and took the bottle into the family room. I sat on the love seat where Naz normal was. The love seat faced the large bookshelf with all our family photos on and other photos throughout the years of our family and friends.
Bella with Kevin. We went riding all day. I was on Enzo and we took a break in a big field. Kevin was being so cute towards Bella and I managed to capture the perfect shot. We hadn't taken the horses out together for a long while. Because of me. It was my fault.
Me with my boys, Enzo and Naz. This was taken years ago. We hadn't been together long at all. Our family started out as four. Bella, Enzo, Naz and Me. Then it grew when I was introduced to Tate. And then we got the horses and the most important person joined our family Indiana. And I screwed it up. I screw everything up. Maybe dad was right. He told me I would screw this up. He knew it, maybe he was right about everything? About how worthless I am. I'm not man enough to be a dad. Or a husband. I can't protect her. Or love her. Not without hurting her, destroying her completely because that's all I know how to do!
This was our first award show together. she was so nervous, we won best on-screen romance. She didn't want to talk too much so I took over the speech part. She said a few words. I was so proud of her, she won every category she was nominated for. She did amazing and she deserved it. No one knew how hard she was working behind the scenes. With her modelling, TVD, she had family things going on, She worked her butt off and she was being recognised for it. She was an incredible woman. She is the most forgiving, loyal, loving, person I know and somehow I managed to ruin it. Ruin her more than other people had in her life.
I didn't deserve her. I knew I didn't deserve her from the moment she laid on my chest tracing the scars that littered it. I knew I didn't deserve her because I didn't deserve to be understood. That's why my dad did what he did. Because he knew I'd turn out like a crappy person so he was just trying to correct it... Yeah, that's why he did it.
She's an amazing mother. I knew she would be. She has the maternal instinct laced through her. I wanted to be a good parent. Be a good dad. But I soon realised I had no idea how to do that. I knew how to look after a child for a few hours. Make sure they don't get hurt and have a good time. But I didn't know how to support a child in their times of need. That was a given when I went to work whilst my baby was sick when I fucked another woman because I needed a distraction. Now I have another child on the way. Soon too. Nikki was 6 months at this point. She waited too long to tell me. she said she didn't want me to freak out.
Not only had I hurt my wife but now I don't get to support her through whatever she's going through right now. She's clearly sick. I wanted to help her, nurse her back to health, encourage her to eat and stop beating herself up. But I couldn't get more than a few words out of her.
Our wedding pictures were on the shelf too. The day I vowed to love her forever. And I haven't stopped loving her. I don't think I ever will. She's my soulmate. I've known that for a while. For a very long while. I just wish I could hold her, and dance with her around our house, hear her singing in the kitchen as she cooks dinner for us. I wish I could go back in time and change what I did. I wish It never happened.
I went to take a drink out of the bottle I was holding but nothing was left in it. "I'm so sorry Isabella," I say out loud letting the tears fall.