Baddies of the BAU
Hotch: We all need to go in a half hour early tomorrow, Strauss is holding a meeting
Emily: lol not going af 💋🥳
Y/n: cough cough shit sorry I'm sick suddenly won't be in tomorrow 💔
Derek: got porn to watch sorry 😞 not showing up tomorrow 🥶🥶
Hotch: It's mandatory, I like my job as is so please cooperate
JJ: Ok I'll be there I guess
Reid: I don't mind coming in earlier.
Y/n: booo 😴
Derek: fine only bc I don't want a new boss 🤧🤠🤰🏾
Emily: I'll show up but I'm not listening to her bc Ik damn well it's gonna be about our behavior 😒🤢🤢 like leave us alone
Y/n: ^ preach
Derek: she frfr needs to mind her business before I make sure her ass gets put up in a nursing home 🏡🤣😌
Rossi: I think Strauss is alright
Hotch: ...yeah you're alone on that opinion 👍
Rossi: alright kid
Emily: giving.. passive aggression vibes🤺
Rossi: No? I was being genuine
Y/n: Rossi I vote you make us all pasta tomorrow night after we go through that traumatizing meeting 🙈💋💋💝
Emily: ^^ ROSSI PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU, I WANT PASTA RN😇😇😁
Rossi: Okay, 8PM!
Garcia: ooo count me in!! family gathering!<3
JJ: We have family gatherings like twice a week tbh
Hotch: I found this in my gallery from the last case
Emily: Reid..😭😭 ily
Y/n: he's just in a silly goofy mood my sweetest boy 💖💖
Garcia: omg you all look so adorable!! Nice photo Hotch!! <<33
Hotch: Thanks!
JJ: We do look swaggy
Reid: Who's your sweetest boy? me? :)
Y/n: Yes ofc hun
JJ: Spencer was talking about Halloween and Hotch took a photo and that was the result
Reid: I was imitating a monster. It was important.👾
Derek: Damn Hotch, looking VERY submissive and breedable man, keep up the good work! 🤤🥵
Emily: oh...my.. god? 😨... morgan..
Garcia: he's gonna kick you for that one :0 sweetness don't say stuff like that
Derek: only speaking facts😱😱🥶
Y/n: submissive and what now🤨🤨 Derek what in the fuck is wrong with you
Derek: Oh, did you not understand? I said he looks SUBMISSIVE and B R E E D A B L E 🥴🥵🥵
Emily: nah kick him rn. Derek he gave you a kiss to make you shut up and now your doing shit like this again😰 I'm scared 😨
Y/n: fr should've never kissed him hotch he didn't deserve it, ungrateful ass
Hotch: What the fuck. Pardon me?
JJ: nahhh💀 wtf too far
Derek: cmon hotchie😘😘💖
Hotch: I have no words right now. What is wrong with you, genuinely?
Derek: NAH whats wrong with YOU?
Hotch: EXCUSE ME?
Derek: Hypothetically get in my bed rn 🤤🥵
JJ: DEREK STOP???
Rossi: I hate that I understand what's going on right now.
Reid: I'm confused.
Y/n: I wanna ask why but I'm gonna let you stay confused.
Reid: Derek, that's not possible. Cis men can't..
Derek: My statement still stands 🤤
Hotch: So glad I suddenly have less work to do tomorrow than I did 5 minutes ago, thank you Derek
Derek: NAH WHAT THE FUCK🤬🤬🤬🤬
Hotch: STOP VERBALLY HARASSING ME DIPSHIT
Derek: I'm dominant and load bearing and you're submissive and breedable, perfect match😇😇
Hotch: FIRST OFF, NO. SECONDLY, IM REMOVING YOU
Rossi: ..Derek why do you act like this
Derek: WAIT IM SORRY ILL BE QUIET I SWEAR IM GOING TO BED RN GOODNIGHT
Hotch: take it back and you can stay
Y/n: do not let him stay
Emily: accidently sent my wife's boobs to my mom lol
JJ: WHAT
Emily: I was trying to save them as a wallpaper and.. fuck😶 i lied and said they were mine but thats even worse
Derek: .. why does no one accidentally send me tittie pics? Damn
Reid: I'm sorry, as your wallpaper?
Emily: ... :)
Y/n: you act like a predator that's why Mr clean
Hotch: ^ yeah no y/ns right, learn to behave and people would tolerate you
Derek: you saying if I behave you'll send tit pics bossman?👀👀
Y/n: dawg 💀
JJ: Derek wtf lol
Hotch: I don't have "tits" and you couldn't pay me to send you explict pics👍 behave or I'll remove you
Derek: daddy dom energy tbh I respect it, I'll behave Sir😁
Emily: someone take this mfers phone 😭 what the hell
Rossi: Derek stop sexualizing Aaron or else I won't let you have pasta tomorrow
Derek: FUCK NO OKAY SORRY HOTCH UR NOT DADDY DOM 😰😰😰
Emily: I say we just don't let him in ur mansion anyways lock the dooorrrs🤺🤺
Y/n: frfr tf
JJ: the way that Derek only acts like this over text is annoying like he's decent otherwise
Hotch: He's seeking attention he never got as a child and he's too afraid to ever say the attention seeking stuff out loud so he does it behind a screen where he's more comfortable
Derek: i...
Derek: what the fuck thought we agreed not to profile eachother😭
Rossi: positive attention is better than negative attention Derek
Y/n: ^^ he's right
Derek: NAH WHYD HE COME AT MY NECK LIKE THAT I?? IM CRYING WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭
Emily: LMAOOOO HES NOT WRONG EITHER😄😄 L, TAKE THE L
JJ: makes sense tbh. Derek stop it plz we're all concerned your daddy issues don't need to be shown 24/7
Derek: ..i...
Derek: I'm going to bed omg
Y/n: homies in shock💀😭
Hotch: good maybe he'll rethink his life choices
Emily: BRUTAL I LOVE IT💃🏻💃🏻 GO HOTCH GO
Rossi: This is insane 😳
Y/n: Okay mama Rossi using emojis and shit I see you, learning 🥳🥳 go you
Rossi: Thank you!
Hotch: I just put jack to bed I think I'm gonna go as well, goodnight guys!
Y/n: gnight bossman hotchman
Garcia: NIGHT NIGHT! :)
Reid: Goodnight!
Emily: it's 8:30PM.. lol? 🤨
Hotch: and I'm tired? Go set your wallpaper and leave me alone 👍
Y/n: HES AT EVERYONES NECKS TONIGHT PLAYING N O GAMES😰 OKOK I SEE YOU
JJ: I'm actually gonna lay in bed and relax as well I finally got the baby down
Emily: Need sucky sucky now mommy
Emily: Mommy's milk 🥛❤
Y/n: ..bestie.. 🧐 I can't keep defending you... 💔😨
JJ: PLEASE💀😭 EM STOP IT OMG
Reid: Human milk is actually quite sweet. Some compare it to tasting similar to almond milk!
Y/n: ..how do you know that?🧐🧐 Spencer
Emily: He's right though 😙😋
Derek: WAIT HOLD THE FUCJING PHONE YALL OUT HERE DRINKING BOOBIE MILK???🤕🤕
Reid: No I've heard from mothers themselves who've tried their own milk, I've never tried it as a adult.
Emily: Oh, I know but it was an accident 😊
JJ: Why are you putting this is chat 😶
Y/n: yeah.... imma follow Honda civics lead and go to bed myself
Hotch: Honda civic?
Y/n: GOTTA GO🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️ GOODNIGHT
Garcia: Goodnight sugarplum!! <3
Derek: HONDA CIVIC LMAOOO🤣🤣 OKAY I SEE YOU Y/N CRACKIN JOKES N SHIT GET 'IM
Y/n: thanks baldie<33
Derek: mannnnn🥸
Emily: mommy milkers *honk honk*
Rossi: goodnight kiddos!
JJ: 😔 goodnight