The next day the club had called a meeting at lunch, and were currently in the club room sitting around a table having tea and coffee as they discussed what had happened the day prior.
"I thought about it a lot last night, and maybe having a lady manager isn't such a bad idea."
"Why do you say that?" The twins asked.
"Well, it's fairly obvious, isn't it? Renge just transferred into the same class as Haruhi. So If Haruhi has a girl friend around it could bring out the female within her. Renge's girlish air of tenderness might be able to stimulate Haruhi's own sense of femininity."
"I gotta be honest with you, I don't think I want her personality rubbing off on Haruhi. For all we know we might get two Renges." Setsuko said, leaning her head on the palm of her hand.
"That won't happen, Itsuki! Now is our chance to help Haruhi get in touch with her feminine side! This is an important project, men! She doesn't have any friends in class right now except for these two shady twins. That's no good for her."
"Like you have room to talk." The twins said, tilting their heads with matching confused expressions.
"Hey everyone!"
"Speak of the devil." Setsuko muttered, looking towards the doors and seeing Renge step inside.
"You'll be happy to know that your new manager, Renge, has baked all of you some cookies!" She held up some cookies that looked to be wrapped in some kind of pink wrapping.
Tamaki jumped up from his seat and was suddenly in front of Renge, "Isn't she ladylike! I'm so moved by your generosity!" He exclaimed, dramatically running a hand through his hair.
"I didn't bake these cookies for you, you phony prince." Renge said, causing Tamaki to once again sulk facing the wall. "I'm sorry I burnt them a little bit, I did the best I could and I already know what you're going to say. 'Anything that you make for me is going to taste delicious my dear'" She quoted. She placed her hands to the side of her face and hearts started to surround her. "Oh, you're always so sweet to me, Kyoya!"
"He didn't even say anything." Setsuko muttered, reaching forwards and grabbing one of the cookies that Renge had placed down on the table.
"She wasn't kidding these cookies really are burnt." Honey said, as he had grabbed a cookie as well.
"Don't eat that, Mitsukuni. It's bad for you." Mori said, appearing behind Honey. Those few words turned Renge into a she demon, and she chased Honey and Mori around the club room and for some reason her hair had turned into a group of snakes as she ran.
"They're burnt but not too bad." Setsuko muttered, biting into one.
Off to the side, Hikaru and Kaoru were talking to Haruhi and as Setsuko watched the two of them get close- Hikaru biting off a part of the cookie Haruhi had in her mouth and Kaoru licking some crumbs off her cheek. Setsuko just watched halfway through biting down on her ow cookie.
Thank god they think I'm a guy. She thought, slowly taking a few steps away from the first year trio.
As Tamaki freaked out over what had just happened, Hiakru looked over at Setsuko and noticed her watching. He grinned and tilted his head back. "What, you jealous or something?"
Setsuko scoffed. "In your dreams."
"Every single one of you!" Renge suddenly shouted, causing Setsuko to jump and turn her attention to the teen. "Except for Kyoya, all of your characters are lukewarm! Each of you needs to have some sort of 'dark' side, you understand? Girls a vulnerable to handsome young men who are troubled! If you keep carrying on like this, it's only a matter of time before the girls get tired of you and stop coming all together. Are you trying to ruin my precious Kyoya's business? As your manager it's my duty to change your character backgrounds. Let's start with you!" She pointed directly at Honey, who let out a short, terrified scream.
"If all you are is cute, inside, and out, then you're no different than a baby. Therefore, from now on, you are the baby-faced thug! And Mori-senpai, you're his childhood friend; the flunkie! The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world! Haruhi, you're an honor student who's constantly being bullied! Itsuki-senpai,"
Setsuko tensed, scared to hear what role she was going to be assigned. Going by what the other hosts had been assigned it couldn't be anything good.
"You're going to be a vigilante who fights crime at night, and due to that you're always running from the cops, and you attend this school to keep a low profile!"
I... what?! Setsuko asked. How does that even make sense? She ran a hand through her hair as Renge shouted something about Tamaki being a lonesome prince then move onto Kyoya saying something about how his character was perfect- she was too in shock to listen.
"Kyoya, you have to do something. I am not playing whatever part that is." Setsuko said.
"Come on, Kyoya senpai." Hikaru said, pulling Kyoya to the side.
"Itsuki-senpai is right, you've got to do something." Kaoru agreed.
"Why? It seems like the boss is up for it." He motioned towards Tamaki who was posing by the wall.
"How does this look, Renge? Do you think these poses work for a lonely prince?"
"Oh wow, you're pretty good at that, Tamaki!" Renge exclaimed. "But you know it would be even more effective if you were standing in the rain."
"Let's just wait and see how things turn out, I bet it'll be interesting. It always is."
Setsuko groaned at Kyoya's statement, her shoulders slacking in turn. "I really need a nap."
***
Setsuko never got her nap. Instead, she was now standing in the middle of a group of trees on Ouran's courtyard as 'rain' fell on her, soaking her uniform and making it cling to her skin.
Apparently after the role change Renge wanted to do more, which involved hiring a camera crew and filming an entire movie about the host club's new roles. While she didn't want to play the role she was assigned, Setsuko knew she could be risking her naps in the host club if she refused to do anything so she might as well go along with it.
"Action!" Renge shouted, and Setsuko let out a small sigh before she viewed Honey, Mori, and Haruhi between the trees, Haruhi sitting at the base of the tree while Honey and Mori stand above her.
"I'm gonna show you what happens to anyone that crosses me." Honey said, his voice uncharacteristically low.
"Stop it, Mitskuni. You should have realized by now that when you're hurting others you're really only hurting yourself." Mori said.
"I didn't ask for any advice. You want me to put you over my knee again?" Honey snapped.
Setsuko took a deep breath before she started running, before she slid on the damp grass and placed herself between Haruhi and the two boys. "Your reign ends here, Haninozuka." She said, tilting her head upwards and glaring down at the small boy.
"Does it now?" He looked up and met Setsuko's eyes, a shadow casted over his own. You know, it really pisses me off when people don't know their place." There was a stretch of silence before his act fell and tears started to gather in the corner of his eyes. He ran towards Haruhi and engulfed the sitting girl with a hug as he sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Haru-chan! Itsu-chan! I can't do this anymore!"
"Cut! Cut, cut, cut!" Renge shouted and Setsuko looked over towards the sidelines, where the entire camera crew were. "What's wrong with you, you've got to stick to the script!"
"But I can't!" Honey sobbed.
"Stop rolling cameraman!"
"Yes, boss."
Setsuko took this as an opportunity to leave and stepped out onto the sidelines, with Haruhi following after her.
"How'd we go from changing our characters to shooting a movie about them?" Hikaru asked from where he sat.
"And why is there an entire film crew here to shoot it?" Haruhi asked.
"Apparently she flew them in from Hollywood. Don't you recognize the director? He directed the vampire movie 'Millennial Snow'. It was the number one grossing box-office hit in America at least year."
"And another thing," Hikaru said, slapping the script, "How come this stupid script portrays Kaoru as the pitcher?"
"Yeah." Kaoru agreed.
"What does that mean."
Setsuko placed a hand on Haruhi's shoulder and shook her head, "Let me save you the sanity. You don't want to know." She said, shaking her head.
"Uh... okay?"
Thankfully to distract them from the conversation Tamaki ran up to them and started talking to Haruhi about how he acted, until Haruhi was called over by Renge, leaving the rest of the hosts to stand and talk with each other- mainly Tamaki gushing over how cute Haruhi was as she left.
As Setsuko stood in the sun to warm up, her nose started to tickle, and her shoulders tensed up. A moment later she let out a few sneezes, shaking her head softly she reached for a towel, she should dry off before she caught a cold. A minute later she realized that the hosts had all grown silent and she looked up, seeing that they were all staring at her with wide eyes.
"What...?"
"You sounded just like a baby kitten!" Tamaki exclaimed.
Setsuko looked at them, "What- no I didn't!"
"You so did!" The twins exclaimed, then they looked behind them where Kyoya was standing, "Don't you think so, Kyoya-senpai?" The twins asked, looking at Kyoya who was standing behind them.
He adjusted his glasses and looked at Setsuko, something glinting in his eyes, "I have to agree with them."
"Even Kyoya admits it!" Tamaki exclaimed.
Setsuko felt her cheeks warm up and she covered her face with the towel she was holding. "Shut up."
Before the twins could tease her any more there was a loud crash over where Haruhi had walked over to, and everyone perked up. Before anyone else made a move Tamaki ran towards the source, the rest of the club hurrying after.
When they arrived, they saw Tamaki running up to one of two boys and grabbed him by his collar, he was only stopped by Haruhi who explained that what had happened wasn't their fault. Setsuko didn't listen to what Haruhi said as she watched Kyoya walk over towards the rock garden nearby and pick up a solid sized rock. Silently Kyoya walked towards the crew until he was standing by the camera. In a swift movement, he crushed the camera lens with the rock, getting the attention of everyone in the area.
"What? Is something wrong?" Renge asked, a completely dejected look on her face.
"I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. I think you've caused enough trouble around here, Renge. Please stop being such a pest." Kyoya said, his own face showing nothing but annoyance.
"A pest?" Renge asked, and Setsuko watched a few tears rolled down the girl's cheeks. While she felt bad for the girl, someone had to say something. She gritted her teeth and placed her hands over her heart, "But you're supposed to pat me on the head and tell me not to worry! You're supposed to be kind and affectionate, Kyoya! Why are you acting so differently now? Tell me why?"
"Because the person you're describing is Ichio Miyabi, not Kyoya." Setsuko said, getting Renge's attention on her. "The real Kyoya is a jackass."
"Itsuki." Kyoya said in annoyance.
"Telling it how it is."
Renge was quiet for a few seconds, the only sounds coming from her were a few sharp breaths as the tears continued to fall. A second later she fell to her knees, sobbing.
Setsuko sighed, at least all this chaos had come to an end.
***
A day passed by, and the host club was once again open for business, hosting the girls like usual. Now, most of the hosts were gathered around Tamaki's table, as they were doing a short group hosting for the girls who requested and paid for all the hosts.
"I bought the video of the film you made!" One of Tamaki's clients exclaimed, causing Setsuko to look over towards his table.
"So did I!" Another girl exclaimed.
"You did?" Kaoru asked.
"That scene in the rain was just phenomenal!"
"I love the lonely prince!"
"And the loving relationship between Hikaru and Kaoru was so sweet!"
"Not to mention how protective Itsuki was! I want him to protect me like that!"
"I want to see Honey act like a thug again! It was so cute!"
"I couldn't get enough of Haruhi's poignant expressions!"
Setsuko watched as all the girls fawned over the movie, that she had no idea had been released, and by the looks of it none of the other hosts knew it had been made into a disc and sold to the girls.
"Kyoya?" Tamaki asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
"I may have broken the camera's lens, but the footage that we had already shot wasn't damaged. But naturally I did cut out that one violent scene. Sales have been pretty good so far. That Hollywood film crew did a fantastic job. But then I guess that's to be expected." He said, turning towards the others with a smirk.
"Why am I not surprised?" Setsuko asked. "This is what you meant by 'interesting' isn't it?"
"It's best to have as much money as we can in the club's budget."
"Good day, everyone." A voice said and Setsuko tensed as she looked over towards the source, seeing Renge walking up to them.
"Renge? But I thought you had gone back to France already." Tamaki said.
"I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner. It was so chivalrous of you to risk your life to protect me. I could feel the love when you lectured me about judging people." She stepped forwards and grabbed Haruhi's hand, moving her face to be closer to the host's. "When you said it was fun to get to know people little by little, you were talking about me!"
Oh this poor girl. Setsuko thought, watching as Renge dragged Haruhi off to play video games as Tamaki freaked out in the background.
"Hey Kyoya-senpai." Hikaru started.
"You okay with that?" Kaoru asked.
"Why wouldn't I be? Everything Renge said is true."
"No it isn't!" Tamaki shouted angrily.
"But I thought you were the one who wanted her to have a female friend in the first place."
"Well, yeah, a female companion! Not a girlfriend!"
Setsuko sighed and placed her hands in her pockets as she started walking off. She didn't have enough energy to deal with Tamaki, and she finally had time to take a nap.
__
You know the time
Setsuko: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Kyoya: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Kaoru: FLOOR IT!!
Hikaru: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Kyoya: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Setsuko: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Tamaki: DO IT!
Kyoya: NO-
.
Renge: Where the devil is Tamaki?
Kyoya: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?
Setsuko: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?
.
Setsuko: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Haruhi: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.
Setsuko: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.