Felix kissed me. He actually kissed me!
My lips radiated and my heart felt like a vessel pumping fire and lava. It was wonderful, magical, terrifying, and so overwhelming. It was as if he'd released all of his stored up passion; like a giant tidal wave, it swept me up and spun me around until I was dizzy...until I could hardly breathe... until I was on the verge of drowning. Is that what he wanted? To kill me with his fire?
I rolled off of Felix's chest and onto the safety of the ground. I expected his drunken state to grab me and pull me into another kiss. Instead Felix sat himself up in a hunched position, holding a hand over his mouth. Were his lips burning as well? Was he feeling the same way I was?
Felix made a strange pained expression as his hands clenched his stomach. Was he feeling intense butterflies or something?
Suddenly, he angled his head over the floor as clear liquid poured from his mouth. He made gagged as the waterfall flowed. He took a deep breath before vomiting again. I leaped to my feet and rushed to the kitchen in search of a bowl. Sure, I could attempt to move Felix to the bathroom, but I was worried he would vomit all the way there. It was best to isolate one spot.
When I handed him a clear, plastic bowl, he collapsed off of the couch and landed on his knees as he hunched over and threw up five more times. I found it alarming that nothing but liquid was coming out (basically all the water he just drank), which meant his body was dehydrated again.
"I'll get you some more water," I said in my best calm voice. Really, I was scared. My body was shaking and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.
So, I knelt down beside him and rubbed his bare back as he took tiny sips of water. Thankfully, I was too freaked out to think anything of touching his warm skin in a romantic way. Otherwise, I'd be giddy to the moon and back.
"You're going to be okay. I'm right here," I said in a soft voice.
He shifted his hazy eyes on me, before having another vomiting spell. Every drop of water he just drank ...gone. The muscles in his back were tight and I could feel his body shaking as well.
"Come on, Felix," I said, "you need to see a doctor."
He glared at me.
"No!" He protested, "I'm done now. Got it out."
I tried to pull on him, but he refused to move. He was too heavy.
So, I helped lay him back on the couch. He looked as if he'd been stabbed with a knife as he held his stomach. I grabbed him more water and made him drink so he would at least wash the stomach acid down. This time the water stayed in his belly.
He stared at me blankly as I cleaned up his messed. It took an entire roll of paper towels to wipe it all up. Then I sanitized the floor with some rubbing alcohol. Once my cleaning job was complete, I decided I would tuck Felix in with a blanket again, so he could sleep for real this time.
Instead, he sat himself up on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. Don't tell me he wanted more kisses. Absolutely not. Especially not after he threw up.
"Don't you dare put your tongue in my mouth after all that," I warned as I hesitantly took a seat.
He immediately grabbed my hand and gave it a weak squeeze. He sent me a faint smile before his eyes shifted to my stomach. For a solid minute, he stared.
Then, he brought his knees up and positioned himself like a cat as he slowly crawled towards me. I backed up against the arm rest of the couch, about to leap up and run.
"Felix?" I questioned, trying make him look me in the eyes. This entire time, my stomach was the only thing he cared to stare at. What was he doing? I was not going to kiss him! Besides, I was pretty sure it was wrong to kiss drunk person.
When I tried to rise, Felix grabbed my shoulders and forcibly pinned me down on the couch, resting my head on a pillow. I was really panicking now. I didn't want to have to hurt him in self-defense.
"Get off, Felix!" I shouted, as I flared my hands and legs.
"Be still," he said, his voice raspy.
When those ocean blue eyes finally met mine, it was as if my body went limp and my heart slowed. I froze as every muscle relaxed. Wait, what was happening to me? I didn't know. Why did I feel paralyzed and so calm?
Felix continued to close in on me, as he hovered over my frame. Suddenly, he placed his head straight into my stomach. Then his body collapsed, using me as a mattress and my stomach as a pillow. He nuzzled into my tummy and gripped the side of my shirt with his hand as if it was a blanket.
All nerves and fear melted away. So, this entire time he wanted me as his pillow. I sighed in relief. Thankfully, the majority of his body weight was on the couch, so really my body was only dealing with his head and a fraction of his weight.
Honestly, this was too cute. I couldn't push him off. Especially since he was starting to fall asleep. His breaths began to slow as his grip on my shirt loosened. I reached for a blanket and covered us both up. This was the definition of warmth.
I watched as Felix's blonde head rose and fell with my diaphragm. He even started drooling a little. Why did this feel so natural - to have Felix so close?
I played with his soft hair, my hands massaging his head. He responded by further nuzzling the side of his head into me. I even allowed my hands to "slip" and touch his jaw, neck, nose, and ear. Why was it so pleasant? Why did touching something as simple as his ear cause a tidal wave of butterflies?
My head shifted to the window in an attempt to distract myself. Even though it was the middle of the night, orbs of lights flickered across the city. It was amazing to me how there always seemed to be someone who was still awake. And this time it was me.
My mind drifted back to the present as I re-play Felix and my conversation. Was he serious when he said that I was in his Will to receive all of his possessions? Why would he even do that? What did that mean about his feelings towards me? Also, why would someone so young even have a Will? Was he expecting to die soon? Why?
Then he said those words. The ones before he kissed me: you make me human. What does it mean to be human? Was that his way of telling me he loved me? Or did it mean that he just enjoyed my company?
Well, clearly he had some kind of romantic attraction to me considered that he kissed the living life out of me. I'd once heard it said that a drunk person is just a more honest version of themself. Did that mean that Felix had been wanting to kiss me for a while?
And just like that my heart was pounding. When I thought of it. The softness of his lips. The way his tongue moved in my mouth. The passion. I didn't think Felix was capable of romance.
I tried to think about something else, but it was hard. Instead my mind filled with dread for when Felix finally woke up. What would I say to him and how much should I tell him? More importantly, how much would he remember?
I wasn't sure how much time had passed or if morning was almost here. I decided I should at least try to sleep, but when I closed my eyes all I saw was him, all I smelled was him, and all I felt was him.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
The morning sunbeams burned my eyes. For a moment I panicked, forgetting where I was and how I got here. It all came back to me when my eyes landed on a sleeping Felix laying on me. It turned out, he had rolled up my shirt so that he was laying on my bare stomach. Made sense - my skin was warmer than clothes. I was just thankful he didn't go any further.
I smiled at him, wanting to soak this into my memory forever. His hair was all ruffled and gleaming in the rays. He looked so unguarded and defenseless. Then the strange thought popped in my mind:
This isn't the way a man rests on his lover. This is how a little boy sleeps on his mother.
Did Felix think I was his mother? Was his sleep-self confused? Is this a way he used to lay when he was scared as his mother comforted him?
I felt Felix shift and before I knew it, I was staring down at two sky blue eyes. Felix was finally awake and looked so utterly confused as he stared at my body and then up at me. He slowly sat up.
Once he noticed his hands still on my stomach, he immediately pulled my shirt down so that I had full coverage.
"Why are you here?" He snapped, scooting to the far end of the couch.
I felt myself blush - how much did he remember? All his crazy words? His Will? His intense kiss? I felt like a dear in headlights - I hadn't prepared for this conversation nor did I expect it to come so soon. I decided it'd be best to be confident, play dumb, and learn what he knew.
"Welcome back, Sunshine," I smirked, "I never thought you'd wake up."
His gaze sharpened, "Why are you here?" He repeated.
I raised my hands in defense, "Relax. I was helping you. You got drunk last night."
"Why were we on the couch together?" He asked, examining me, the seat, the floor and everything we were touching.
"I tried to get you in bed but you preferred this," I said, thinking about how he for some reason had a strange resistance to his own bed.
Felix's eyes filled with horror as his skin turned pure white. He was quiet for several moments as he stared at the floor, his knuckles pressed to his lips. Then he met my gaze with a strange apologetic look.
"So, I touched you?" He said in a very serious voice.
I wasn't sure why he was acting so strange and stern. Yes, he touched me a lot ...on my chin, my head, my stomach, my collarbone, my entire face, and my lips.
"Ummm...yes. Quite a bit actually," I admitted, attempting to jog his memory about the kiss.
Felix looked disgusted and rose from the couch, pacing back and forth as he rubbed his head.
"I have no memory of anything," he mumbled, his eyes frantically searching the floor as if he was trying to recall.
"You were pretty out of it. I'd never seen you act like that before," I said, especially thinking of the Baby Shark moment.
"How far did we go?" He asked, making brief eye contact before returning to the ground. This was the first time I'd ever seen him act...ashamed.
"Like...what do you mean?"
Felix turned his back to me as he rested his head and arm against the window wall. The outline of his shirtless frame looked as if it was glowing.
"Is there a chance I've impregnated you?" The words dripped with self-disgust.
Oh...this entire time...he was asking that. I leaned back on the couch, feeling lightheaded by the comment.
"No! Zero! Nothing like that happened!" I said, feeling heat shoot into my face.
He sighed deeply, and turned to face me.
"Thank God," he said, "You should be more careful. Your words carried a different meaning."
"Sorry," I said, averting my gaze, "Why would you even think...never mind."
"You shouldn't go into a man's apartment alone with him at night. Especially when he's not fully himself. It's dangerous," Felix scolded, crossing his arms as he stood over me.
"You're not dangerous," I said, feeling unbearable awkwardness.
"You're still very naive, I see," he said, giving me one last scolding look before heading to his bedroom. He returned with a black T-shirt on. One less thing to distract me.
I sent a bashful glance his way as he headed to the kitchen. Why was I the one feeling shy? If anything, it should be him. After all, he was the one without the full knowledge of what he did or said. Shouldn't that make him awkward and tense?
"Would you like some coffee?" Felix asked as he pulled out a coffee bean bag.
"Sure," I said "Oh yeah, how are you feeling? Do you feel sick at all?"
"Besides the pounding headache and irregular heartbeat, I'm wonderful," He said sarcastically, "Nothing a little coffee won't fix."
"I'm pretty sure coffee makes you more dehydrated. Could give you an even worse headache. You should drink some water first. You threw up a lot last night."
Felix shot me a hesitant glance, before returning to his coffee prep. Seriously? How was he not the least bit curious?
My mind flashed back to his words about the "dangerous" comment. What had it meant when he said what I did was dangerous? Was he implying that he could be dangerous? The way he said it - so protective and angry. Usually, he spoke to me in emotionless, cold words. But my actions bothered him. It actually made me mad that he would even say that. Here I helped him last night and he called me reckless. How dare he!
"Of course I needed to come to you're apartment. What was I supposed to do? Leave you by yourself to die?" I said, stiffening my posture as I stared out the large window.
He returned to the couch with two white mugs.
"Still thinking about this?" Felix said, raising a brow as he took a slow sip.
"Aren't you? I mean, aren't you even going to ask what happened last night? Don't you want to know?" I said, running a finger around the rim of the mug. The coffee sent a trail of steam into that air. It warmed my face.
"Nope," Felix said, leaning into the couch, and closing his eyes, "So delectable," he commented on the flavor of coffee.
Now he was straight up irritating me.
"Why don't you care? I have so much dirt on you! You should be begging for mercy," I crossed my arms.
"As long as I didn't assault you, I could care less. Whatever happened last night means nothing. Okay? Whatever I did or said. It carries no meaning or weight nor is it an accurate reflection of who I am. Got it?"
"I disagree. A person is most honest when they are drunk."
"Have you ever been drunk?" Felix asked before taking a large sip.
"No," I hesitated.
"Then don't mistake insanity for honesty."
"What does that even mean? I saw the real you last night. Doesn't that make you scared?"
"If that were true, you would be scared," Felix shifted in seat, crossing a leg.
I was speechless. Why did he have a way of turning my words and maintaining power in a circumstance were I had the upper hand? After all he had put me through last night, I at least deserved an answer for what happen. More than that, I wanted to see him embarrassed for what he did. After all, it embarrassed me and was causing me to blush at the memory. I didn't want to be alone in this awkwardness - especially since he was the one who caused it.
"If you're not going to ask then, I'm just going to say it."
"Go for it," Felix said, resting his arm across the back of the couch.
"Okay fine! You took off your shirt and went swimming in the fountain, tried to pull my nose off, danced and sung to Baby Shark, jumped on your bed in your underwear, threw up all over the floor, and kissed the living life out of me!" I said, taking a deep breath afterwards.
"Oh. That's disgusting. I kissed you after throwing up?" Felix set his coffee down and leaned towards me.
"Well, actually it was the other way around. But the fact still stands - you did it. So, you can stop pretending you aren't attracted to me when clearly you are," I said, flipping a piece of hair behind my shoulders.
"Again, insanity is not honesty."
"You're saying you'd have to be insane to kiss me! You're unbelievable."
"I'm a man. You're a woman. Things can happen, especially when the man is insane. I'm just relieved it ended with that and nothing more."
With all my fury, I grabbed a pillow and slammed it into his chest. He looked amused.
"I hate you so much!" I yelled, "After all I did for you, you treat me like this! You suck! I'm leaving."
I rose from the couch and had my eyes locked on the door. I was determined to slam it as hard as I could - I wanted all the walls to rattle and this apartment to collapse in on Felix.
He tightly grabbed my wrist as I past by.
"If you don't let me go, I'm going to kick you where it hurts," I said, shooting him a glare.
"Ms. Dupain-Cheng, I'm not trying to insult you. I am very grateful for your help," He said softly.
"You have a funny way of showing it," I mumbled.
"As you know - I believe in rewarding good behavior. So, please sit back down."