The pain he suffered during the chemotherapy was even greater than last time. Seokjin sideburns got wet by sweat for pain; he vomited so heavily that he could even not keep his waist straight. He could only refrain himself from making a sound when he suffered such severe pain. Taehyung called his name softly in the distance. Hearing someone call him, Seokjin slowly raised his head after quite a while, opened his moistened eyes, and squeezed two words out of his quivering lips, "It hurts..."
Hearing that, Taehyung felt a sharp pain in his heart. In fact, Seokjin who was so thin and feeble that he was not at all like a weak baby tiger, but more like a kitten, whose little paws were not well used and any bit of carelessness could make himself hurt easily.
"Rest in my office for a bit, I'll prescribed some medicine for you..." Taehyung brought Seokjin to his office.
Seokjin felt weak all over, without a little strength, so he did not refuse Taehyung's help. But to his surprise, the cushion on the doctor's cot was replaced with a thick one covered with a fluffy blanket. Seokjin got pole-axed.
"Lie down and have a rest here. I'll be attending to some patients for a while." Taehyung did not think more, and helped Seokjin open the fluffy blanket on the bed, which seemed recently aired, and was sweet and soft.
"Thanks..." Seokjin said and buried half of his face in the pale blue blanket full of sunshine's smell, feeling like crying, but he did not know why. A man, who had been suffering hardships for a long time, was not afraid of being treated badly by others, but afraid of being treated well. Because he had nothing to pay back.
"You can have a longer sleep," Taehyung drew half of the curtain, "I'll wake you up later."
Seokjin was tired both mentally and physically, so he fell asleep fast. However, Taehyung, sat at his desk, with his mind wandering, wondering what his real feeling to Seokjin was. To see that man suffer caused Taehyung a great deal of heartache; he felt uncomfortable to see the love bites left by another man, he was also angry at Seokjin's tolerance and deep love for that man.
Taehyung was born in a rich family with great power; however, for professional reasons, he had always been self-restrained. He did not smoke or drink; besides, he was not a playboy. He was just fond of cars and raising a flowers. The two hobbies of him was developed by his father.
He even sent his favorite orchid to Seokjin, even though they had met for only a few times. Taehyung raised the corner of his lips unconsciously, whirling the pen among fingers.
In the other hand, Seokjin hadn't had such a good sleep for a long time. Sleeping like a log, he felt warm and safe. He didn't even dream much, the only bit impression of the dream was a laurel standing in the sun, sweet and gentle.
The doctor did not wake him up. It was already dark when Seokjin awoke naturally. Taehyung had no night shift today, so he went off work early and came to check Seokjin.
"You're awake?" Taehyung closed the medical report with a smile.
Seokjin looked better, and hurried to get up, "I am really sorry to disturb you."
"You're still regarding me as an outsider huh?" Taehyung shook his head disapprovingly, pointing at the thermal dinner pail, "The medicated meals are delivered here already. Have dinner here and then I'll send you home."
Taehyung opened the dinner pail, a light delicious smell wafting out, accompanied by a slight herbal fragrance.
“It’s from my friend’s medicinal diet restaurant. It should taste good,” the doctor put the dishes in front of Seokjin. “Have a taste before it gets cold.”
Seokjin quipped, “How much are doctors paid now? Is your bonus linked with patients’ moods?”
Taehyung did not respond. He put away a pile of medical report, took a stool and sat down beside him, “I haven’t had supper, either. Let’s eat together.”
Seokjin opened his mouth but did not know what to say, just feeling a little embarrassed. He did not think more about it, but getting restless.
Taehyung felt kind of heartache. When he handed the chopsticks to Seokjin, he still said two more sentences as an explanation, “There is no one in my home, either. I just want someone to have dinner with me, not planning to embarrass you.”
Seokjin shook his head, “Nope. Dr. Kim is so nice that I’m flattered.” He smiled at the doctor, with the black pupils sparkling under the incandescent light.
Taehyung also raised the corner of his lips slightly, feeling like touching Seokjin’s long eyelashes which slightly dropped. In fact, Seokjin was an unruly person. Taehyung was young, handsome, rich and capable. If he took a fancy to someone, he would not consider too much to chase the one. However, for making Seokjin have a meal at ease with him today, he had been working absent-minded to ponder on an excuse for a whole afternoon, which seldom happened for him.
Maybe he really had feelings for Seokjin. Taehyung lowered his eyes, roiling half the bowl of the soup with the spoon.
“Are you still feeling sick?” Taehyung asked Seokjin, who only moved the chopsticks for a few times, then nothing more. It was estimated that even that was out of politeness.
Seokjin shook his head, “Nope, I have no appetite even at home. I have been suffering from loss of appetite.”
“I’m still looking for the one matching your bone marrow, and I’ll find it as soon as possible,” at the thought of Seokjin’s illness, Taehyung felt a chill in his heart. As his attending doctor, naturally, he knew better the state of his illness. Seokjin had missed the best time to accept chemotherapy. The current treatment, instead of improving his health, was only delaying the steadily worsening, even for one day.
Seokjin expressed his thanks to the doctor, with little joyful expectation.
“Your illness... Does he aware of it?” Taehyung restrained his emotions and asked some probing questions intentionally or otherwise.
Taehyung found that Seokjin face got paler, with heavy fatigue between his eyebrows, not knowing if it was just own illusion. Then he said in a calm voice, “I don’t wish to let him know.”
Taehyung did not request further reply, as he could read the other’s facial expression. He knew that Seokjin must have unspeakable difficulties and the relationship between the two was not inseparable as he had once imagined.
Taehyung did not feel guilty at all for involving in this relationship. He was not the one falling in love easily, but once he had feelings for someone, he must try to chase the one. He never gave up before having a try, since life was short and true love was not rare. Besides, he believed that as long as his loving hoe was well wielded, the foundation of every relationship could be undermined. That man had never accompanied Seokjin to have a physical examination even though Seokjin was so withered. He was either blind or indifferent.
“If you don’t feel like eating, it’s ok. Don’t push yourself too hard. I’ll go to pick you up tomorrow,” Taehyung did not want to make Seokjin feel embarrassed, so he washed his hands and fetched Seokjin's clothes, “I’m off duty now. I’ll drop you off on my way home.”
Seokjin still remembered the trouble caused by the fact that Doctor Kim drove him home last time, so he could not be completely at ease. But Taehyung insisted on the decision, "I'm just sending you back home, It's not like you'll lose a piece of meat." So Seokjin had no other choice.
“All girls wishes to marry a doctor, yet I can’t see what's good about them. Are all the doctors so pushy like you?”
“I know this method is well liked by guys.”
Seokjin was astonished by his words, and he casted a glance at Taehyung like a reflex, finding that the man seemingly did not care about what he said at all, with kind of cynicism in his look, which was rare at usual time.
"I'm joking." Taehyung smiled, speaking nothing more.
Before they go to Taehyung's car, Taehyung stop Seokjin at the entrance of the hospital. "The wind is pretty strong outside." Taehyung took his scarf off and forcibly wrapped it well around the exposed neck of Seokjin. "Be careful to not catch a cold."
Seokjin froze and looked back, “Doctor?”
"Let's go." Taehyung continue walking leaving Seokjin stunned behind.
The scarf around his neck had the lingering warmth of another man. Seokjin did not know what the doctor wanted to do, and he did not think he was good enough to attract another man, either. In addition, the doctor was such an excellent man.
Feeling that there was something wrong with Dr. Kim all day.