MARY
When I got back from the bathroom neither Lexi nor Erin were where I left them. I stretched up on my toes, hoping to spot either of my sisters in the throngs of people, but didn't have any luck. Normally I'd go looking for them. I'd search this place from top to bottom just to make sure that they were okay, but tonight, tonight I didn't have the energy left in me to play "mom". Instead I leaned over the bar, grabbed the cute bartender's attention, and ordered another mojito.
Tonight I was taking the night off. Besides, I knew if I sat there long enough the two of them would eventually come back, there was no need to go roaming all over the club and get myself lost. And it's not like they could've gone far; after all, I still had the car keys in my pocket. I gave the bartender a generous tip and picked up my mojito. I probably shouldn't be driving though. Or, come to think of it, tipping that big.
For the last two years Matt and I shared a bank account. I wasn't working so he supported me. If things really were done between the two of us, I didn't even have enough money to my name to start over. Glumly I took another sip of my drink and weighed my options. I'd rather bunk up with Lexi in Maine than go back to Matt just because I'm financially dependent on him.
My cellphone chirped in my clutch indicating another text. I didn't have to look at it to know who it was from. Matt had been trying to reach me nonstop, not to mention the bouquets of flowers he was having sent to the house on a daily basis.
"Are violets the appropriate 'I'm sorry I fucked someone else flower?'" Lexi asked when they first started arriving.
And she was right, the flowers didn't make up for anything, but they made it clear that Matt wasn't ready to let go and, if I was honest with myself, there were times I wasn't ready either. Lying in my childhood bed late at night, it was hard not to remember all the good years the two of us had together. They surrounded me in the form of ticket stubs stuck to my bulletin board and memories captured in framed photographs on my bureau; even the goddamn pink elephant on my bed was given to me by Matt. He was everywhere, he was a part of me, and it wasn't easy to just forget that.
Logically I knew what I was supposed to do. Matt had cheated on me, I was unhappy; it made sense. But following through with it just wasn't that simple. Despite everything I still loved him, and feelings didn't just shut off overnight.
But I ignored the text, just like I did the last three, determined not to let my so-called fiancé ruin my night. Taking a sip of the mojito I steadily got drunker and vowed to start taking care of my own needs. Erin and Lexi were both grown women now; they didn't need me anymore. And Matt, Matt had achieved his dream; he was playing for the NFL. I was the only one who was left floundering. I needed to figure out what I wanted out of life, but tonight? Tonight I just wanted to have fun.
I picked up my mojito and killed it off, smiling at the bartender before slipping through the crowd behind me, and heading towards the dance floor. It was so packed inside this place that it wasn't an easy task.
"Mary?"
I stopped suddenly at the sound of my name and looked down as a hand reached out and touched my arm. My eyes grew as I turned around to find Ian standing near me wearing a surprised look too. He looked just as incredible out of a suit as he did in one, wearing a tight, black, long sleeved shirt that left no doubt about what lay underneath it, and a pair of dark, expensive looking jeans. He didn't let go of my arm and the feeling of his fingers on my skin sent a spark through me; the type I hadn't experienced in a long time.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, leaning in and speaking close to my ear so I could hear him.
"I'm with Erin and Lexi," I shouted back. "They needed a break."
Ian smiled down at me and let go of my arm. I felt myself wishing that he hadn't. "Always taking care of everyone, huh Mary."
I knew he hadn't meant anything by it, but it felt like an insult, especially right now. I shook my head and met his eyes with determination. "Nope," I promised, the alcohol fueling my boldness. "I'm done. I'm just taking care of me now."
His smile grew and he nodded his head in appreciation. "It's about time."
I imagined what my life could've been like if I really heard him all those years ago when he warned me that I'd wilt behind Matt's shadow. I wondered if it wasn't too late to change things, but at the same time the idea gripped me with fear. I wasn't sure I had it in me to start over.
Ian's eyes lowered over my short black dress and then back up to my face. The dress belonged to Lexi and was a little more revealing than what I'd normally wear, but she talked me into it when we were helping Erin get dressed. "You look beautiful tonight," he commented, and my blush only deepened. Ian slowly lifted his hand and tucked a strand of loose hair back behind my ear. My heart fluttered and my skin was humming by the time he pulled his hand back. "I was thinking--"
But he didn't have time to finish his sentence because just then a leggy blonde came slithering up to him. She wrapped her body around his and leaned into him, completely ignoring my presence. "I'm bored," she whined loudly enough for me to hear.
I didn't know where she came from; they didn't make girls like her in Beaufort. Her Lycra purple dress was practically shellacked on, and her sky-high heels made her just as tall as Ian. She was stunning, like a model, and her thick European accent made me think that she probably was one.
The tips of my ears burned as I watched her rub her hand up Ian's chest and press her ample breasts into his body. I was such an idiot. Not wanting to have to witness her mauling at him, I wanted to walk away and I would've too, but Ian started talking again.
"Mary, this is Margot," he politely introduced me to the disinterested blonde.
I made myself face her. Forcing on a pleasant smile, I wore it so tightly that it felt as unnatural as it was. The girl glanced over at me and nodded before turning her attention back to Ian "Baby, this place is so dull. You promise somewhere exciting." She looked around at the other club goers in disdain. "This place is not exciting. This place is..." her eyes flicked back over to me, "sad."
I watched the annoyance tick in Ian's jaw before he swept his eyes back over to me. They looked apologetic and I didn't understand why. "It was really great seeing you Mary." His eyes told me that he actually meant it, but I had to remind myself to take it for what it was. We were old classmates who hadn't seen each other in a while; that was it, nothing more.
I spoke around the inexplicable lump forming in my throat. "Good to see you too Ian."
Standing there, I watched the two of them walk away together; Margot was practically glued to his side. They made sense. The things I was thinking about Ian Malcolm... didn't.
Feeling like a fool, I walked back over to the bar and dug my phone out of my small purse. I gazed down at the screen telling me that there was a text message waiting for me from Matt and my thumb hovered over the phone. I was so close to looking at it, but doubted that it'd be a good idea given my present state of mind. But some sad part of me needed to be reminded.
I was just about to swipe my thumb across the screen when Erin came stumbling up to me. She was a mess. Her normally neat hair was wild and hanging over her shoulders and she had some mascara smudged underneath one of her eyes.
"I don't feel so well," she groaned. I got off the stool I was sitting on and offered it to her.
"You don't look so well." I leaned around her and got the bartender's attention a d ordered a glass of water. "We should get going soon. Have you seen Lexi?" I asked, slipping back into "mom mode" again. The evening had come to a sudden bust. Erin shook her head but it kind of just flopped around so I pulled my phone back out of my clutch and sent Lexi a quick text.
When I looked back up at Erin, she looked like she was about to throw up, and that couldn't happen in here. I paid for the water and helped her up, leading her through the crowd and out the front doors. I deposited her on the cement sidewalk and checked my phone again. No Lexi.
Looking back down at Erin, I worried about how I was going to get her into the car, and even if I somehow managed it, I didn't think I was in the shape to drive anyway. I was going to have to call a cab and that was going to be a nightmare. I could already feel myself sobering up.
I thought about leaving Erin there and going back inside to search for Lexi, but lord only knew what would happen if I left her alone outside the club in the state she was in. So instead I sent Lexi another text, telling her that if I didn't hear from her in ten minutes we were getting in a cab without her. I looked back at the entrance of the club and contemplated my next move.
"You okay Mary?"
I whipped around, grasping my phone in my hand, totally shocked to see Ian standing there. My eyes searched the street around him looking for any signs of Margot but she was gone. "I th-thought you left," I stuttered, like an idiot.
Ian laughed and that crooked smile of his lit up his face as he shook his head. "No. I just had to get Margot in a cab. I was actually headed back in." Part of me couldn't help but wonder why. Why wouldn't he have gone home with Margot? Every man in this club would've gone home with Margot.
"Is everything okay here?" he asked, looking behind me over at Erin who was now leaning against a mailbox trying to keep herself up.
"Yes." I nodded my head but then I started to shake it. "I mean no. Erin's wasted and I can't find Lexi anywhere."
"Did you drive?"
I nodded again. "But I was planning on calling a cab." I didn't want him to think I was a complete moron.
"Don't bother. I'll take you guys home."
"You don't have to do that. I'm sure you've got other plans."
"Mary, it's 1 AM." He shook his head and laughed. "I don't have any other plans. I'll take you guys home." He wasn't asking, he was telling me, and for some reason I knew there was no point in arguing
"How about I go in and look for Lexi? Or I could wait here with Erin if you think that'd be better," he suggested.
I looked down at my sister and hated leaving her in the hands of a practical stranger when she was like this, but I knew I'd have better luck finding Lexi than he would. Plus for some reason I trusted Ian; I knew he'd keep her safe.
"I'll be ten minutes tops," I told him, handing him the bottle of water and backing up towards the door.
He smiled and looked down at Erin and then back up at me. "You better hurry. Oh! And you're doing my laundry if she pukes on me!" He laughed again, settling himself down next to Erin and unscrewing the lid off the water bottle for her.
I turned around and pushed my way back into the club. I knew I had to be quick. I couldn't leave Erin out there with Ian too long. I searched the dance floor, the bathrooms, and the bar, but came up empty. There were no signs of Lexi anywhere. Just as I was about to head outside I saw Will leaning up against the far wall nursing a beer and looking like he wasn't having a very good time. I went up to him and gently smacked him on the arm.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" He shrugged and then shook his head before taking a sip of his beer. "Have you seen Lexi?" I asked.
Something passed over his face right then. It looked like anger but I wasn't sure what to make of it. "She took off like a half an hour ago."
"She took off?" I asked, completely stunned that she'd just ditch us, but unfortunately not entirely surprised. It had happened before.
"Yeah, well, you know Lexi." Will's voice bristled and I wasn't quite sure what was going on. Maybe Lexi had said something to him before she took off. Maybe she'd gotten under his skin. She did that to people, and Will wouldn't be any exception, even if he was Erin's best friend. Erin.
"I'm taking Erin home. You good?" I asked, tilting my head towards his beer and making sure that he had a safe way home.
He nodded and smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, I'm good."
I patted his shoulder and started to make my way back to the exit when my cell phone chirped. I fished it out of my purse and saw a text from Lexi.
"LEFT WITH FRIENDS. SEE YOU AT HOME."
I sighed and stuffed the phone back into my purse. Typical Lexi-- forgetting about everyone else but herself. I was gonna kill her when I saw her next.
It didn't hit me until I got outside that Ian still would be taking us home. As soon as I stepped out into the street and I saw him with his arm around Erin, helping her with the water, butterflies went off inside me. I walked up to the two of them and told them that Lexi had bailed. Ian stood up and helped Erin to her feet before leading both of us over to his car. I knew nothing about cars, but this one was black, shiny, and looked expensive. I helped Ian get Erin into the backseat, continuously assuring him that he didn't have to do this, that we'd be fine on our own, but he wouldn't hear of it.
"Stop Mary," he laughed when I said it for the fifth time. He buckled Erin in and shut the door before turning to face me. I didn't realize how close I was standing to him until that very moment. I could smell his cologne and I fought myself from leaning in to get a better whiff. What was I doing?
"This isn't any trouble," Ian said as he opened the front door of the car for me. I nodded and got in, wondering why exactly he was going out of his way to help us.
He shut my door and I watched him walk around the car and get in on the driver's side. This was so surreal. Never in a million years did I imagine my evening ending with Ian Malcolm driving me home. I was nervous; it was like I was sixteen again and I'd become a bumbling mess. He pulled out of the parking lot and turned the car towards my house. We drove in silence for a bit. I wasn't sure what to say to him, so I said the first thing that popped into my mind.
"So how long have you and Margot been dating?"
I was instantly mortified when I heard the question come out of my mouth. I knew what it sounded like, like I was fishing for information about his love life, and even though I was, I couldn't believe I was being so obvious about it.
Ian just laughed again and shook his head. "Margot's not my girlfriend. We see each other from time to time but we're not dating or anything."
"Oh." Suddenly I felt even more stupid. Of course a guy like Ian didn't have a girlfriend. He probably had a whole horde of women like Margot on call. I was so far out of my league with this guy that it wasn't even funny.
"How about you?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road. "How are things with Matt?"
I knew what he was asking. He witnessed the tension between the two of us at the funeral; he knew that things between Matt and I weren't the rosy picture I let everyone believe. He was on to me. I rolled my head away from him and stared out the window, watching the dark houses fade into a blur as we drove by them.
"Things aren't good," I admitted.
Ian didn't say anything for a moment and I just listened to the sounds of the tires on the road, imagining what he must be thinking right now. Poor, pathetic Mary got what she was asking for.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he finally said.
I turned my head back to him and studied his perfect profile for a second while scrunching up my face. "But you're not surprised, are you?" He flicked his eyes off the road and over to me. His expression was apologetic as he shrugged.
"Do you remember your graduation party?" I asked, feeling embolden by the alcohol I'd consumed and this rush of honesty.
"Yeah. Parts of it." His crooked smile appeared and he nodded.
"Do you remember talking to me? In your garage?" He didn't say anything or take his eyes off of the road, but nodded again. He remembered and that surprised me. It was a significant moment for me, but I wasn't sure if it was for him.
"You told me that I'd wilt behind Matt and I didn't know what you meant back then." I let out an ironic snort and turned to look back out my window, leaning my head against the cool glass. "It took me seven years to find out."
"And?" he asked.
"And what?" I moved my eyes back to him, not understanding what he meant.
"What did you find out?"
I let out a small sigh and stared out at the road ahead of us. "I guess back then I didn't know what you meant by it. You have no concept of forever at sixteen, but Matt; he was my whole world at the time. My mother left us and my dad-- Well, my dad did the best he could, but Erin, Lexi, the house, the meals...that all fell on me. Matt helped me out with a lot of that stuff. I guess we were playing house before we even graduated from high school.
I never questioned us staying together when he left for college. I never thought about what I really wanted out of life. I knew I had to stay here for Erin and Lexi. I knew I didn't have a choice there, so the fact that he was choosing not to let me go was kind of reassuring. He said he'd come back for me and he did, and then he asked me to marry him. We moved to Seattle and it all just sort of happened, like the natural progression of things, and I never questioned anything. I was an idiot."
"No," Ian insisted, drawing my gaze back over to him, he was shaking his head and even though I couldn't see his face I could feel his conviction. "You weren't an idiot. You were in love and there was nothing wrong with that. It was stupid of me to think I knew so much at eighteen. I didn't know shit."
I knew he was trying to make me feel better, and I appreciated it, but we both knew he nailed the hammer on the head all those years ago when he made his observation about me and Matt.
"Mary, you should never feel stupid for giving your heart to someone. I'm just sorry that he didn't take better care of it."
I didn't have to say anything. Without me telling him any of the details is was like Ian knew what had happened; he knew Matt had broken my trust in some way and he knew I was hurting. I wondered what made it so obvious and was sort of embarrassed by how vulnerable it made me feel, but mostly I was just relieved that he knew. That meant he wasn't going to ask, and if he wasn't going to ask, then that meant I didn't have to come up with a lie.
I looked into his eyes and felt my heart flip; reminding me that it still was there. Ian Malcolm was always surprising me and tonight wasn't any exception.