Alice POV
"This was the best idea, Daisy. Thank you so much!" I gushed as we settled into our seats at the Japanese hibachi grill she chose for our lunch spot. Benji and Remington took their seats on either side of me, bright smiles on their faces at the excitement we shared with the experience we were about to have. I looked back and forth, noticing dimples and the exact same expression which was a reminder that nature is definitely just as strong as nurture.
Daisy had the brightest grin I had ever seen as she leaned over her plate and past Benji to look at me, "I realized it's a place we haven't tried yet but knew it would be perfect for today."
"Perfect timing since we got a table right away! This was such a smart idea, baby girl!" Doc gave her a side hug and kissed Daisy on the temple, making her daughter beam. They were in sync today, a clear sign that the time Doc took away from work was appreciated.
I turned to my left and caught Remi as he tucked his pain med bottle back in his backpack, swallowing a pill with the water already placed by the waitress. He raised his eyebrows and grimaced as he swallowed then took another drink, effectively finishing his glass of water. Benji and Daisy were discussing which lunch hibachi special to go with so I opened the menu and tilted it toward Remi. "What sounds good to you?"
He smiled, scooting closer while resting his arm on the back of my chair, "Salmon? Maybe?"
"That's what I was looking at, also!"
"So was I!" Benji laughed, leaning toward us while I turned back to smile at him. "Of course the three of us want the same thing."
I chuckled, "Okay, I'm gonna get shrimp, then." My eyes focused on Benji for a long moment as I continued, "Usually my Beep and I would each get something different and share meals, but do you want to get the salmon and share with me, Remi?" My brother smiled at me before I turned and saw Remington doing the same.
"What?" I asked, tilting my head as he shook his.
"I would love to get the salmon and split with you, Lissy." Remington spoke softly, his voice dropping lower as his eyes flicked to my lips, "Maybe... for the rest of our lives."
My heart pounded at the intense stare and firm but gentle grip of his hand on my shoulder. I felt Remi's thumb stroke the front of my collarbone which sent a shiver through my body before my brain registered that I should respond.
"Only maybe?" I breathed, releasing a laugh I didn't anticipate. He grinned, shaking his head before scooting forward to move our menus aside while the waitress began to take Daisy's order.
"Alice Davidson, will you share a meal with me?" He asked dramatically, eyes twinkling like the night sky.
We placed our orders and chatted about physical therapy, each of us having a much easier time this session thanks to all the at-home stretches and other work done before the appointment. Thankfully I was able to see my therapist for a short session so that Benji was not alone for long. The staggered appointment times was intentional and if needed Jesse offered that Benji could hang out at the waiting room near his nurse's station. He was so busy on 12 hour shifts the last few days but had a three day weekend coming up that Remington mentioned as a great time to catch up. Our morning went smoothly and Daisy was surprised that I had to pick the guys up at Greg's.
"I didn't wet the bed, either, Daisy." Benji teased before sipping his miso soup, letting out a sigh of appreciation as soon as he took his first bite.
She laughed, "Well, I know that, Ben! I just figured you would at least let Lissy make you waffles or something. What did you do all morning, Liss! You didn't have to get these idiots until 9:30!"
All eyes turned to me and I instantly felt smaller, the pressure of even playful scrutiny sinking into my soul. I set down my soup bowl, licking my lips before replying, "I mean, I got up early with Peach and had some fruit but then went back to bed."
I could hear Remington chuckle next to me and turned, his dimples clear as he shook his head. "What time did you actually wake up before getting in the car to come over to my house at 9:20 in the morning?"
My mind flashed back to the morning and how relaxed I had been, lounging in bed after a feast of peaches and strawberries with whipped cream. I discovered Peach loves strawberries and whipped cream as well, sharing with her as I listened to relaxing music and scrolled social media mindlessly. My Instagram Saved files now had more pictures flagged in folders for memes and inspiration and therapy, not to mention the new puppy accounts I found to follow for more wholesome content. I took the time to practice some mindfulness but mostly enjoyed just being in the moment and having no responsibilities for the first time in ages. After awhile I realized it was barely 6:30 am and I was still exhausted.
I grinned, letting out a sigh and raising my eyebrows with a sheepish grin. "Peach and I took a nap again from about 6:30 until 9. After that we got up and I took her out and got changed before I ran out the door. I set my alarm and knew I didn't need long, especially since the drive to your house only takes a couple minutes."
He chuckled during the explanation of my morning, tilting his drink toward me. I raised my sweet tea and clinked glasses as Remington replied, "Sounds like you had a good morning, then."
"I really did." I let my smile stay bright and reach my eyes, leaning into Remi which allowed me to catch a whiff of his cologne. "Peach loves strawberries. I just lounged in bed eating fruit that I shared with her, scrolling Instagram."
Remington's smiled tightened and eyes narrowed, "What do you do on Insta?" I could tell from his now straighter posture as well that he felt threatened and started to wonder if social media was an issue with Dana and other exes.
I laughed, pulling out my phone to show my feed. He let out a loud laugh at the meme that appeared at the top of the screen and followed along as we scrolled. My feed was mostly friends from Atlanta and college as well as inspiration and self care posts. One of the biggest resources my therapist, Raina, encouraged me to dive into was all that Instagram had to offer for free. The chef returned to begin our meal preparations on the hibachi grill and I tucked my phone away, Remi's hand finding mine as we focused on the meal being prepared right in front of us.
As our fingers laced I felt a familiar flutter in my heart and stomach.
For a moment, everything felt like it would be okay.
Benji let out a loud belch but slapped his hand over his mouth quickly to stifle the noise while the rest of us laughed. Doc Edwards insisted on taking care of the check for our meal and Daisy was using the restroom while Remington checked in with Kenny and his Dad for a moment. Her reasoning was that this was Daisy's idea but she appreciated the meals we both paid for in her absence and wanted to be sure to do her part. Remington and I wanted to object but knew she had a point and just thanked her.
Remi rejoined us by the restaurant entryway with a smile on his face. "Kenny said Dad is having a great day and will bring him over when his shift ends. He also was so grateful for the cake you left him, Liss. Could not shut up about how good it was."
Benji's eyes widened, "Is it gone?"
He winced, "I have a feeling it is, bro. Sorry." Remington put a consolatory hand on Benji's shoulder while my brother appeared to be deeply sad at the loss of the cake he so deeply loved.
Daisy approached as they were talked and met my eyes laughing, "So, Lissy, do you need to run to the store on the way to your house?"
"Nah, I will just do a grocery order for delivery. I have a few slices of cake at home set aside for Beep." I laced my arm around my brother's waist and laid my head on his shoulder, smiling warmly as I continued, "Since you and your mom are having some time together now that means we can make another cake next time you come over."
She grinned brightly before saying her goodbyes and promising Benji that she'd bring her cookbooks next time she came over to make one of her family favorites. I knew Doc planned to take Daisy home just to relax and do whatever they wanted in their space. Usually that would seem boring but I knew Daisy would be thrilled to throw on her pajamas and have a dance party with her mom in their den, watching their favorite movies. That's where she feels safest.
Remington drove my car to the hospital for our appointments this morning and since he took some pain medication I held out my hand to take the keys. He grinned, handing them over happily, "Thank you. I have a headache going so I may have to take a nap when we get there, too."
I was thankful for the grace he gave me when these situations happened. I never felt pressured by Remington. We had a balance of power that gave both of us the chance to just be ourselves and relax into situations.
Benji continued filling me in on their fun night, including how many cool baseball cards they found and that he is going to keep trying to find an efficient way to scan the cards for which would be worth money. I loved hearing the excitement in his voice even as he yawned, "Lissy, I need a nap, too. We were up so late."
"I had a feeling you guys would have a late night. When did you go to bed?" I looked in the rearview mirror and caught his eye as we stopped at a stoplight, noticing how exhausted he appeared.
Benji's eyes were downcast and he looked up through his lashes, wincing slightly as he answered, "About four?"
I burst into laughter and looked at Remington before the light turned green. "Really? Four in the morning?"
"Kenny got here..." He began, but a yawn escaped and the words could not continue. Remi tried again, "Kenny starts at ..." but had the same issue and yawned another time. Benji and I laughed harder while I pulled into our driveway and parked the car, eager to see how Peach did in her crate for the first time without us for a couple hours.
Benji got out of the car and shut the door, leaning over the hood which made his cast squeak against the metal, "Kenny was at the house at 8 so that woke us up. Greg went to bed way earlier but we stayed up. Remi said I could go back to sleep but I got excited about digging into baseball cards again."
I grinned and made my way into the house with the guys, letting Peach into the backyard immediately where she excitedly raced a dozen times before grabbing a frisbee and taking it to Benji. He grinned and followed her into the yard, chasing as well as he could in the boot and cast before settling on an adirondack chair in the shade. I noticed my brother pull out his phone but give Peach his full attention every time she came back with a toy.
"I ordered a pizza after you left, plus a two liter of Mountain Dew, so Benji and I had lots of caffeine and pizza fueling us." Remington turned to face me as we stood on the deck, his hands resting on my hips loosely while he stared into my eyes. "Lissy, we talked for hours. It was incredible. He's..." Remi turned and grinned at Benji right when he threw the frisbee again for Peach, "He is an amazing kid. He loves you so deeply and just wants to do the right thing with Dad just like I do. I told him the three of us are on the same page. All we want is to just navigate this the best we can."
My heart soared at his words, the magnitude of that effort not lost on me. "I'm so glad he confided in you and that you had a chance to truly get to know who he is as a person."
Remi snort laughed, "I cannot believe he was a Charmander starter."
"I never said my brother was perfect!" My ribs hurt from giggling but I was braced by his hands, soft but firm around my torso. Even gentle contact made something inside me falter but I tried to keep my cool, focusing on the way his fingers flexed and occasionally stroked my bare skin under the linen blouse I chose to wear today with jean shorts.
Peach approached me with her toy now and received plenty of scratches before I threw the frisbee. I turned back to Remington and met his eyes, "It's those little details like Hogwarts House and Pokémon starter that just give you that tiny bit of information about someone. That's all it takes sometimes."
He narrowed his eyes with a smirk growing on his face, hands moving to clasp behind my back which pulled me even closer to his body. Remington leaned down, breath warm on my neck as he rasped, "Squirtle. Ravenclaw. You?"
I laughed even harder this time, unable to contain myself at his tone and expression. After a few moments I could catch my breath and wheeze, "I did not expect that!"
Remington chuckled, clearly content with how well he trolled me, before nudging my nose with his, "So? You?"
"Also Squirtle because duh. And Gryffindor." I raised my eye brows as I answered, knowing this would surprise him.
I was right. Remi's head tilted and lips pursed, "Huh. I had you pegged as a Slytherin."
"Benji's a Slytherin."
On cue he slowly approached, letting out a sigh while Peach raced up the steps. "Okay. I have an idea."
"What's that?" I turned toward him but Remington did not let me go, keeping his arms around my waist.
"First we change clothes and get comfy cause I should take pain meds and you probably need to, also. Get snacks and drinks. Curl up on the couch. Movie. Nap." My brother accentuated each of his requests with as much of a clap as he could muster considering the cast on one hand.
Remington nodded along and by the time Benji finished his idea replied, "Yes. That. I want that."
I laughed and agreed, ushering the guys inside while Peach made another lap around the yard before following me in the door. Her food was still full from the morning but I changed out the water bowl just to be sure she had cold and fresh water to drink.
"Lissy?" Remington's voice startled me and I stood with a gasp, clutching my chest. He laughed, "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you. Is it okay if I use your bathroom now?"
I chuckled, smacking him in the arm playfully. "Of course. Shut the door and I'll just be in my room probably but change in the bathroom also." My head was starting to ache and I felt like as soon as I stopped moving I would instantly be in pain. "Come on, Remi, let's keep going before I feel the work they did on my hips."
His eyes flicked to my hips and I intentionally swished them more as I walked which made him laugh. Benji was already on the couch by the time we were getting ready to change so I quickly got his medication bottle and handed it over, watching as my brother grabbed a pill then sighed and shrugged before turning back to get a drink from the fridge.
My bed was not entirely made. I was not the type of person that needed hospital corners and a dozen perfectly arranged throw pillows. Clara stressed ensuring things were kept relatively tidy, though, so I always pulled the blanket flat so at least it appeared neat. The sink was running and bathroom door shut when I entered my bedroom which made me smile in spite of myself. I stared at the door, imagining what Remington was doing behind it. Was he stripping down or just changing into comfier shorts?
Shit.
After a deep breath I was able to shake the dirty thoughts from my mind, turning around to grab a fresh pair of cotton shorts and one of Daddy's old t-shirts from my wardrobe. The shirt had been one of his favorites, a simple faded Atlanta Braves World Series cotton tee that was well worn and had paint stains from a number of renovations done in the house when I was younger.
My heart ached as I traced a section on the hem that was pale lavender from bedroom the last time we redid the space.
"Lissy?"
The door opened and the sound of my name startled me from memories of dancing to "Uptown Girl" as Daddy sang the "Ohhhh" part, using the paint roller as a microphone while Clara and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes.
I jumped, gasping and laughing as Remington approached, now wearing a similar faded Braves World Series shirt and basketball shorts now. He noticed what I was holding and grinned, "Hey! Guess we'll be twins, huh?"
"Yeah," was all I could breathe, the word barely making its way out my throat.
Remi's hands gently stroked my arms to soothe as he picked up on the distance now between us. He traced the purple stain with a finger, voice quiet, "So, was this your Dad's shirt, and the stain is from your room at some point?"
I nodded, another long exhale the only reaction I could offer while meeting his eyes. All I could feel was gratitude that he picked up on the context clues, that Remington knows enough about me and my life to see these pieces and not force me to spell out why I'm so upset.
My body was wrapped into a hug, a familiar kiss on the top of my head giving me comfort that sent a sob through my chest. We stayed like that for a few moments before I found my voice and knew I had to tell him more.
Remington should know about my Daddy.
Daddy would have loved him. He would have given Remi the absolute worst time for awhile and put him through hell to make sure he was good enough for me, but Daddy would have loved him.
"So, when I wanted to redo my room for my thirteenth birthday, Clara was thrilled," I began, sniffing as I stepped back slightly and wiped my eyes. "We talked about it for weeks and worked out a budget then found second hand furniture so that my room could be perfect. I debated what color to choose for the walls but we agreed lavender was perfect."
He hummed, squinting and leaning closer to the shirt to get a better look at the shade. "It looks like the kind of color that would almost shimmer."
My lips instantly spread into a wide smile, his answer striking the heart of my reason for picking the shade. "Exactly. When the light hit the walls it would be opalescent. I was still in a unicorn and fantasy books phase but also had started getting into classic literature so Clara didn't want me to go too far into the Narnia and Lord of the Rings realm for decorations in case I suddenly changed my mind and wished my room looked like something from Jane Austen's books."
Our eyes connected while we both smiled, soaking up the knowledge that we understood one another on a deeper level than we were accustomed to. Remington cleared his throat after a moment and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes more clearly, exhaustion settling in more clearly now that we were able to relax. "So, did you need to change? I'm so tired and just ready to relax on the couch with you."
I nodded, stretching on my tiptoes to kiss him quickly before grabbing my comfy clothes and scampering into the bathroom.
It was an impulsive move but the more time I spent around Remi, the more I wanted to stop controlling every factor of our surroundings. I've noticed he sees life as black and white while even in the midst of my Type A overthinking I can find the nuance in situations. This just means we are able to balance one another effectively if I can keep allowing those moments to happen. I leaned back against the bathroom door a moment after shutting it, fingers touching my lips as I realized ... I like this.
I like taking control.
It was such a tiny gesture in the grand scheme of life, but it meant something big.
Just a simple kiss that I initiated after an intense moment shows Remington I trust him. Proves we have clearly grown past the, "Will they or won't they" stage of our relationship.
This will happen. I can set my fears aside and relax into that with confidence even more now.
After a few moments privacy to change I had my hair tossed into a messy bun with my face washed clean and glasses on. I slipped into Daddy's old stained shirt with comfy shorts, staring in the mirror at my reflection and wishing so deeply I could hear Daddy pretend to be mad at me for stealing his clothes just one more time. I emerged and Remington was sitting on my bed, wrinkle between his brows as he studied the phone screen in his hand before looking up with a grin.
"Shall we?"
Benji was on his phone with fingers flying when we came back into the living room and looked up, grinning as we approached. "Guys, let's just go old school Disney cause we're all gonna pass out anyway." He yawned while speaking which made us laugh but shook his head, "I just told Daisy I'm trying to stay awake for a little bit at least so I can eat some cake."
"Oh! The cake!" I exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen to grab the container and divvy up the dessert onto three plates. The portions were not equal since the guys would naturally eat far more than I would but Remington grabbed me a glass of sweet tea along with his own drink and made sure the couch was arranged with pillows and blankets perfectly adjusted before I returned.
We settled in with our pumpkin spice cake, even though all three of us were still decently full from lunch, and decided on the live action "Aladdin" as a way to get something going that we would not mind missing when we all fell asleep.
Remington dozed off first, half eaten cake still in hand as his head tilted back and he began to snore.
"Oh my god, he didn't even finish his cake," I quietly laughed, taking the plate carefully before Peach got her first taste of cake.
Benji looked over and gasped, "Oohh, can I have it?"
I stood and shook my head, "Nope, you got the biggest portion anyway and Daisy is going to make us another one. I'll just go wrap this for him to finish later." He handed me his empty plate with a smile but did not let go when I attempted to take it from his hand.
"He loves you, Lissy."
Benji held my eye contact for a long moment with so much intensity that I lost my breath. He sighed, looking over at Remington as he slept before turning back to me, "Sis, he is head over heels."
"So am I," the words tumbled out but Benji tugged the plate and did not let go.
"Lissy... he... the way he talks about you?" my brother rubbed the back of his neck and raised his eyebrows with a grin on his face, finally allowing me to take his dirty dish, "Remington talks about you like you're perfect. I just want you to know I might complain about you with him sometimes, but that I love you and that it clearly won't make a difference in how he feels."
I had to laugh at his admission and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm just thankful you trust him enough to confide in him. That's a huge step and I am really proud of you, Beep."
"I guess time really does make you bolder, eh?" Benji replied, quoting the song "Landslide" which made me chuckle.
"Sure does." I paused, halfway to the kitchen as he smiled back at me, "And as much as we are both afraid of changin'... I'm so glad we are."
He smiled and grabbed the remote to rewind the movie so we could rewatch the part we spoke over while I made a trip to the kitchen and grabbed him another Gatorade as well.
"Oh, and those baseball cards are insane. They put so much time and effort into organizing them and it was just cut short." Benji's eyes dropped as I sat back down and handed him the sports drink, my hand rubbing his arm in comfort. "We both cried some just because it's so sad. I talked about Dad and Mommy, and he talked about Reese. I'm glad we can share stories that remind us of those good times."
I smiled and picked up my shirt, pointing to the lavender stain on the hem. My brother almost choked on his drink at the sight, shaking his head at instant flashbacks of that time. "Mommy loved working on your room. She had so much fun doing all of that, especially the painting. Didn't you guys play Billy Joel and stuff?"
"Yeah, lots of Billy Joel and Beach Boys with a healthy sprinkle of Broadway for Mom and I," my eyes twinkled as I leaned into him, fighting the tears as I recalled the joy we also shared. "It was the first time you helped us with one of our project, too."
Benji looked at the ceiling a moment, setting the remote down with the movie paused and humming as he thought back to that memory. "Didn't we get burgers one night and eat on the porch?"
I remembered in a flash and laughed, nodding my head, "Yes! We got so distracted by painting and lost track of time. Daddy ran out to grab us burgers and shakes for dinner so we had a picnic on the porch since it was such a gorgeous night."
The memory was like a painting in my mind, Daddy and Clara in their Adirondack chairs with drinks on a table between them while I sat leaning against the railing of our front porch with my legs outstretched. Benji sat cross legged across from me, toy cars surrounding him as usual which he would play with as he chewed. Our meal included plenty of banter along with trading milkshakes since Daddy chose a different flavor for each of us.
Clara and I debated which Original Broadway Cast recording to listen to next and settled on Les Miserables, even though she promised it would make me cry which terrified Daddy. He loved our passion for music and was never a big fan of musicals in general but of course encouraged this in his wife and daughter. Seeing us find common ground meant the world to him, even if that meant his now thirteen year old child was sobbing as she sang "On my Own" around the house for weeks after being introduced to Les Mis.
My brother sat up, hands slapping his legs as he exhaled slowly, "Can we do that again?"
"Actually, I talked to Remi about how the house we buy when we move needs to have a big porch." I gently broached the subject, sensitive to the fact that moving here in general was already a huge change so the idea of being in a new house may overwhelm him. "Turns out Greg has done woodworking as a hobby so Remington..."
Benji's eyes lit up and he began swiping on his phone as I spoke, shoving the device in my face as I spoke. A diagram showing a large porch swing with dimensions was in front of me and I grinned, "So he told you?"
"We went into the shed at like one in the morning and it was so scary, Lissy. Like, I thought I was gonna die," his eyes were wide as saucers as he spoke, recounting the adventure while I stifled laughter at his dramatics. "I can't remember how it came up but we finished our pizza and when he was washing his hands in the kitchen he stared out the window then turned around and just said, "Dude, let's go check out the shed." So we did."
I giggled at Benji's impression of Remington's deep baritone voice, imagining the entire scene in my head. "Is that something you think you'd be interested in?"
He gave a non committal shrug, grabbing the remote and replying, "I think it will be fun to help here and there but since I want to focus on healing up and then training for Baseball I just don't know. But maybe I'll end up loving it. That's what Remi said, too. He said he's never really done much woodwork stuff before but helped his dad with stuff when he was a teen as a side job for extra money. Now he is thinking it's something he might really like instead of just being something he has to do."
"Well, I'm glad the Shed monsters didn't steal you from me, Beep. That would have been a shame."
My brother laughed at my teasing then settled into his seat and turned the movie back on. I stretched and Peach took that as an invitation to jump on the couch, finding the perfect spot between Benji and me. He deftly pet her while yawning, the exhaustion from his extremely late night finally taking its toll. I felt my own body relax after taking pain meds and my muscle relaxer, the physical therapy causing more of an ache than I expected this time.
Peach was curled into a ball with Benji's camo cast resting on her side while they slept, softly snoring in tandem with Remington whose eyelids fluttered while I watched his lips twitch in his sleep.
My mind wandered to what he could be dreaming about. Is he thinking of me? Is this a dream of that first date I think about when my mind drifts on occasion? Our lunch spot was stunning and had an extensive dinner menu that we were able to take a peek at while we waited. Each of us mentioned we wanted to return and would love to check out how the hibachi meal changed for dinnertime, especially after such an amazing lunch experience.
I would not mind returning for the first official date that Remington has promised. The Japanese hibachi meal was delicious, especially enjoying their abbreviated lunch menu which was more reasonably priced for the smaller servings they offered. Daisy, Benji, and I had never been to a restaurant like that before so Doc and Remington enjoyed introducing us to the experience.
My phone buzzed and I saw a photo come through from Daisy, swiping quickly with a grin to see a selfie she caught with Doc as they relaxed at home. The bright grins and effervescent glow on their faces made my heart warm with love for this pair. Doc felt so guilty for the time she missed with Daisy but I knew they both just did their best to balance everything as well as they could.
I texted back a simple, "Gorgeous!" With a selfie, showing off a peace sign while Remington was behind me asleep. I thought for a moment then also sent a photo of Benji and Peach cuddled together and napping that I knew would melt Daisy's heart. She messaged back within a moment simply saying, "Lissy, I cannot!! Have fun not napping while they're passed out!"
Her words made me laugh but I looked between the two and realized that was exactly what was going on.
Remington and Benji are both completely passed out while I'm wide awake.
I texted back, stifling laughter as I typed, "That had not even crossed my mind but now I have no idea what to do."
My laughter faded as I scrolled Instagram, noticing a new follower. Since the handle was MorrisFamily I clicked and grinned, instantly greeted by the toothy grin of Trent playing outside in the first photo on this account's grid. After following back, I sent a message saying Hi and with the photo of Benji asleep with Peach, reporting that she needed a long nap today after all the playtime with Trent the previous day.
It struck me that in less than a month we have built a community.
Kenny and Leah were fast friends, especially since they brought us our amazing dog Peach. I stared at her and smiled, love filling my heart for this dog that had only been in our lives for a number of days. Her tail wagged and head perked up, my energy apparently waking her from the nap she shared with Benji. Peach yawned, body flopping about to adjust so she could reach me more efficiently and lick my face. I laughed at the movement while Benji now woke slightly and snorted, adjusting his position before falling back to sleep.
Watching Benji nap always fascinated me.
Ever since he was a baby he has fallen asleep easily but been a light sleeper. Storms, fireworks, and gunshots would all wake him in the middle of the night. Clara would sing lullabies so even before our parents died I did the same, comforting him through countless storms to allow our parents a full night's sleep while my sweet baby brother fussed. Naturally "Landslide" was a song we used a lot with Benji and that stuck especially as he got older. The lyrics always sink into my heart, a new line hitting me each time I hear or sing this tune.
The best part was that Clara would even sing me to sleep on occasion after bad days, the Gershwin classic "Someone to Watch Over Me" a common favorite that would frequently help me calm down when everything was overwhelming. Back when I first started going to therapy they recommended my parents find ways to help ground me. Clara quickly realized music did that beautifully and was able to use this as a tool to help me feel better and push me when necessary. There were other days when "Brave" by Sara Bareilles was on repeat so I had strength to face challenges we knew were coming, or "No One Is Alone" from Into the Woods when I felt like I could never find friends who understood me.
Benji's eyelashes fluttered and I smiled, watching him sigh then shift his weight before turning on his side to get more comfortable. I turned around and watched Remington as he did nearly the exact same move then had to slap my hand over my mouth to keep laughter from waking the guys.
They are the same person, Clara... it's uncanny...
I shook my head while laughing and stood, stretching my arms high and staring at them back and forth. Peach tilted her head and hopped off the couch, moving to the door, so I got a refill of sweet tea in the kitchen before taking her out to play for a few moments.
The mountain air was far more clear than Atlanta which made sense. It was also cooler here than back at our old home, even though we still lived in Georgia so summer weather was bound to be extremely hot. I grabbed an extra bowl of cold water for Peach to enjoy outside as we made our way to the yard. We played frisbee and I took the opportunity to clean up a couple poop piles, dumping them in the trash bin before tucking the scooper back in our shed and chasing Peach again. Her tail was a blur and I found myself laughing as I played some form of tag, dodging the puppy while she yipped and pranced.
"Hey."
Remington had a soft smile on his face as he jogged toward me, bottle of Glacier Cherry Gatorade in hand.
I grinned, standing to catch my breath, "Hey! How was your nap so far?"
"Pretty good. Woke up and had to pee." He chuckled, taking a sip of his drink before Peach returned with a tennis ball that she needed him to throw for her. I noticed his movements were slow, knees popping as he crouched then looked up at me, "Did you sleep at all?"
"Nah, I texted Daisy a bit and just relaxed." I smiled, inhaling as a cool breeze washed over us. He did the same, shutting his eyes and letting out a happy sigh while he stood with arms spread wide to enjoy.
"Benji was still passed out when I came out here," Remington smirked after a moment, slowly lowering his arms. "Poor kid just can't hang with the all nighters."
"Never has been able to. All through college I did them constantly and Benji tried and failed to participate," I laughed, leaning toward Remi as I spoke. "When he turned thirteen he asked if he could stay up with me on my all nighters. I told him that would be fine as long as it wasn't a school night. He never made it past one am."
Remi chuckled at my confession, shaking his head. "I did not think we would make it til 4. I really expected it would be way earlier. We did go out to the shed which freaked him out at like one in the morning. Maybe the adrenaline from that kept him awake."
As he spoke I laughed, nodding along with his explanation. "You are totally correct, Remi. Benji and I have that in common. If our anxiety has been high like that we need some time to come down from the freak out."
We chuckled as I spoke, Remington letting out a long sigh, "He was shaking since there is just a single lightbulb and no windows in the shed." I burst out laughing while he continued, rubbing the back of his neck, "Well, and come to think of it... shit... Like, when I opened the doors I just had my phone flashlight plus there wasn't much moonlight so it was really dark. The shed doors creaked and there was a lot of dust then the first thing you saw was just these huge saws that Dad has in the middle table."
Remi's eyes grew wider and hands gestured, trying to demonstrate the way the doors opened and freezing for impact when he brought up sharp weapons seen in the glow of his iPhone flashlight. Clearly he did not consider all these factors when inviting Benji to visit the shed and as he explained their adventure was realizing just how traumatic the event truly was.
My stomach ached from laughter while I set down my now empty glass on the deck steps, sitting as Peach approached and scratching her neck a moment before throwing the tennis ball again. He sat next to me and leaned back on his elbows, staring out at the yard in silence while we allowed the day to pass us by.
I turned to him with a smile, "I think he's going to survive just fine. And now, for future reference, if anything stressful happens it will take awhile for either of us to let our bodies regulate so we can sleep afterward. Now you know."
"And know is half the battle," Remington nudged me with his shoulder and we chuckled at the GI Joe catch phrase, another breeze catching us off guard and causing another happy sigh to escape both our mouths.
The sliding door opened and we turned, the tell tale thump of Benji's boot betraying his approach. "How long did I sleep for?"
"Uhhh, about an hour?" I checked my phone and smiled, tilting my head as he plopped on a deck chair while Peach eagerly approached him for more attention.
Remington stood and stretched his arms high as he could, groaning with the strain while I stared at his abs and tried not to drool. Everything about this man was attractive, especially the fact that his body was not perfect. There were scars from the surgery he just had as well as a couple from childhood injuries. He didn't have a six pack or spend hours each day at the gym, but instead took care of himself in a realistic way so that his life had balance.
It made me feel more relaxed about the pumpkin spice cakes and banana splits I knew Benji and I always wanted to enjoy. Better for me to be around someone with more normal expectations than a guy like some of my college classmates who criticized me for taking cream in my coffee instead of skipping it or using skim.
Benji hated those guys and would make snarky comments whenever they were nearby. He came with me most of the time when I had study sessions at the library or coffee shop since I did not have day care available and most of the time would not want him at home alone. My phone would be full of messages from my brother critiquing what a douchebag Matty is or how Liam is a pussy for treating girls like he does.
I also loved the way Remington's heart was in the right place.
He tried so hard to do the right thing, right from the moment we met. Benji let me know all about the interaction they had on the train and how just an encouraging glance from Remi was all he needed to feel comfortable speaking to the attendant about getting an extra bottle of water for me. Knowing that he really does have his heart where it should be makes me even more confident in my choice.
"Although he may not be a man some girls think of as handsome, to my heart he carries the key..."
Clara's voice played in my head with the lyrics of "Someone to Watch Over Me," and I had to smile at the realization. One of my favorite lullabies, a classic song that was last sung to me on a day when I felt disappointed about not being seen by a boy I liked in high school. The captain of the football team asked me to be his science project partner and I genuinely expected him to like me.
He didn't. He barely paid attention to our project and was an absolute asshole the entire time. I was shattered to think that this guy who sweet talked me into working with him would treat me so poorly. Why would he ask me to be his partner, beg me with notes and even presents to work alongside him, and then pretend I didn't exist?
That night, after a dinner of pasta and watching "While You Were Sleeping," Clara sat with me to talk as I got ready for bed.
I remember sliding into my covers, still sniffling as I choked out, "Mama, will I ever meet the right boy?"
She let out a long sigh, sitting on my bed and looking off in the distance. "Lissy, I have a really good feeling you will. Something inside me says you're going to meet a guy someday that makes you feel the way your Daddy makes me feel."
As I laid my head on my pillow I asked, "How is that, Mama?"
"Like I can do anything. Like the world is going to be okay because we're together and will face things as a team. I've never felt that before." Clara leaned down and kissed my forehead, smiling softly, "Goodnight, my sweet Lissy." She started humming then singing "Someone to Watch Over Me," the lyrics washing over me as I fell asleep.
"There's a saying old, says that love is blind...
Still we're often told, seek and ye shall find.
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind
"What?" Remington asked, tilting his head at me as I shook from my daydream with a grin.
"Just remembered something." I standed to join him, brushing the backs of my legs and twisting to loosen the cramping in my hips.
He squinted, shielding his eyes from the sun and smiling, "I need more, Lissy."
I had to chuckle at Remi's curious expression and relented, "I remembered Clara singing the song "Someone to Watch Over Me" as a lullaby for me. It's a favorite of mine and I love the lyrics. They just kinda popped into my head and it was a really happy memory."
There was a notable shift in Remington's eyes, brows raising and mouth opening as I spoke. "So, who is this certain lad that you've had in mind?"
I shrugged, cocking my head to the side in and humming in attempt to be non committal. "I dunno."
Now there was laughter before he continued, "And so... huh...my initial to your monogram would make you AML, correct?"
The blood rushed to my face at his words and I knew Benji was right behind me as we spoke, his laughter ringing at Remington's teasing. I buried my face in my hands and groaned, "This is why I don't tell you these things."
"Why did that song come up?" Benji's question was said with a soft smile, the memory clearly coming back to him as well. Peach approached him and licked above his boot, instantly getting neck scratches in return.
I gave him a warm smile and moved closer, hugging my brother as Peach jumped to join in the affection. "It popped into my head earlier and Remington insisted I tell him what was on my mind then decided to roast me." I held my hand flat and slid it down like I was slicing the air to emphasize the word "roast".
Benji and Remington laughed, shaking their heads as I walked up the steps then turned back toward them. "Okay, I'm gonna go back inside and get a drink. Greg will be back soon, right?"
Remi nodded slowly following me up the steps while Benji did the same, "Yeah, probably an hour or so."
I paused, my hand on the slider before I opened it when I smiled, "Want to do takeout burgers for dinner?"
"Maybe eat on the deck?" Benji smiled, picking up on my reference to our earlier conversation about that night with our parents.
"I love how you think," Remington clapped him on the shoulder, "I was just thinking a burger sounded amazing." He walked in the now open door along with Peach and coached her to the kitchen, promising a treat of strawberries when they arrived.
Benji offered a smile before he brushed past me, only adding, "For some reason I knew he'd say that."
I stood outside a long moment and watched them together, Remington asking Peach to sit so she could eat a strawberry then both cooing when she thoroughly enjoyed the fruit. Benji did the same and they laughed this time as she tried to jump and catch the berry, missing completely and scrambling to find it once she landed.
My sweet child, you have someone to watch over you in Remington. Just remember he needs you as much as you need him.
Our eyes met as I stepped inside the house and shut the door behind me, "Little lamb, want some strawberries or should we just grab some grapes and string cheese or something?"
The pet name made me snort, "Little lamb? Really?" My eyebrows raised and I sat at the counter, allowing Remington to take my empty glass. He gave me a bright smile, turning to fill my cup with sweet tea before passing it back to me. "Yeah. You're a little lamb who's lost in the wood, right?"
Benji and I laughed at his reference to the Gershwin song once again, parallels now becoming even more clear. My smile broadened as they worked and continued chatting, mind calling back to the lyrics I heard so often as I grew.
Remington slid a bowl filled with green and red grapes on the counter toward me with a wink and I felt my heart flutter with anticipation.
Thank you for telling him to put on some speed, Clara... I think that key he carries to my heart has already unlocked the door...