Baddies of the BAU
Rossi: Morning gang!
Emily: mafia Rossi confirmed??🤨🤨 bestie boo 👎 💔
Y/n: spaghetti man 👨 🍝
Derek: Okay guys uh I need to be serious real quick
Hotch: if you deez nuts us I will remove you and NOT add you back.
Derek: NO NO IM ACTUALLY BEING SERIOUS RN LIKE DEADASS
Garcia: Hes not using emojis it seems genuine
Emily: fucking menace what do you want?😍☝🏻☝🏻
Y/n: I just walked past his desk and he looks nervous.. Derek who'd you knock up?? 🤨✋
Hotch: Okay if you're being serious, what is it?
Emily: being serious about deez nuts 😳
Y/n: bestie...
Emily: SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT OKAY 😟😵😵
JJ: honey..💀💀
Derek: good one
Derek: anyways I uhm, remember how I said I was heteroflexible?
Garcia: oh ik what this is about! :0
Rossi: het
Hotch: Rossi be quiet wtf
Emily: ROSSI LMAO 😭
Rossi: sorry
Reid: Is Morgan coming out as a straight?
Y/n: 💀💀 Spencer
Emily: no he's too fruity with bossman unless he uses that as a cover-up bc he KNOWS he'll get bullied for being straight like Rossi does LMAO 💅🏻💅🏻😝 purrr
JJ: Wait are you coming out fully Derek? Gay af?
Emily: damn faggot🥺🥺
Hotch: Prentiss enough he looks like he's gonna piss himself
Emily: pissy panties 🤢
JJ: STOP
Y/n: EM😭😭😭
Derek: Oopsote no
Emily: Sir are you having a fucking stroke? 💅🏻 fruity stroke?
Reid: hm👾, I do not know what to say you guys all scare me!:)
Y/n: sweet baby its alright💀😭
Derek: I'm not heteroflexible I'm pansexual I think 😈😈😈😾
Hotch: Congrats, we accept you obviously
JJ: ^
Emily: end of an era, now we just gonna turn Rossi and it'll be a fruit salad 🥗 😋
Y/n: Really? In front of my salad?
Derek: STOP WHY DO I UNDERSTAND THAT BYE- 🥸
Rossi: congrats kiddo! Thanks for telling us
Hotch: salad..?
Emily: should I send him the full video link🤪🤪
Emily: nvm don't care I'm doing it
Y/n: Hotch don't watch it on your work computer thats all I'm gonna say 🤭🤭 LMAO
Hotch: ..okay?
Derek: and you guys say that I traumatize him? 👹👹👹
JJ: bc you do Morgan lmao what
Emily: yeah literally 🤨✋🏻 do not talk to me
Rossi: what is so traumatizing about salad?
Reid: ^ I am confused as well.
Hotch: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK
Derek: Tryna recreate that video with me😏😏
Hotch: ACTUALLY FUCK OFF?? WHAT THE
Emily: trauma response 🤑 🥗
Y/n: FOUL.
Emily: Hes seen worse ✋🏻 acting like he don't watch videos like that at home please 😵😵😵
Derek: OUT OF POCKET PRENTISS 💀💀😂 damn
Y/n: DID YALL SEE HOW FAST HE THREW HIS PHONE THOUGH? FUNNY AS FUCK😭😭
Hotch: OKAY BUT 1. THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD 2. INAPPROPRIATE ???
Emily: did you just admit..
Derek: hes bi dumbass🥺🖕🏾🤨
Emily: YO I FORGOT LMAO GOD HE ACTS SO STRAIGHT ITS PAINFUL
Hotch: I am trying my best okay I was so far in the closet idk how to do anything but dress well
Y/n: I mean he's not lying💀😭
Emily: #hotchandmorganaregayforeachother
Hotch: I will quit my job!☺
Derek: Well well well...😈😈 if it isn't him not denying it
Hotch: I am denying it, you scare me.
Y/n: he was trying to be nice by saying he would quit his job derek😭😭
Emily: hotchie this team would fall apart without you don't leave 😟✋🏻✋🏻 dramatic ass 😒
JJ: ^
Reid: HEY GIVE IT BACK MORGAN!
Derek: NO😚😚😋
Y/n: he had a jar of nutella didn't he?
Reid: ...
Emily: SPENCER YOURE GONNA GIVE YOURSELF TYPE TWO IF YOU CONTINUE EATING THAT LIKE ITS CRACK?? HOW DOES THAT NOT MAKE YOU THROW UP? 😵😦😦 CONCERNED
Hotch: Reid, we've talked about this. Eat it in moderation bud
Reid: Okay but Derek's eating my jar of nutella which doesn't feel fair.
Y/n: Morgan..
Emily: fucking menace man 👹👹
Derek: I TOOK A SPOONFUL AND THEN PUT IT ON JJS DESK, FUCKING LIAR 🤨🤨
Reid: Okay well.. You're still eating a spoonful.
Derek: LMAO IDC 🤣 😂 😆 💀
Hotch: Behave. All of you.
Rossi: ^ why are you men fighting over hazelnut spread?
Derek: When you put it like that you make it sound pathetic🥸☝🏾 your honor i object
Emily: omg hotchie can be your lawyer 🥺🥺🥺
Hotch: I WASNT A LAWYER???
Reid: I already explained the difference between the two, I think she's doing it because you react to it.
Emily: Whaaaaattt??? Nooo not me 💋🏃🏻♀️
Derek: hotch I say we get eloped and run away tbh 😈😈
Y/n: hes gonna remove you and I will laugh
JJ: ^ im convinced its not a joke anymore
Hotch: Lol what if I messed around and fired Derek that'd be so funny I think lol
Derek: WAIT NAHHH ITS A JOKE FUCK YOU 😟🖕🏾🖕🏾
Emily: omg he can go back to being a wittle piggy cop 😭✋🏻✋🏻
Derek: FUCK OFF????
Derek: if I left the bau I'd go back to bomb squad actually BUT IM NOT LEAVING SO 👹👹👹👹👹
Rossi: even if you annoy us we like having you around kiddo, don't leave
Y/n: Mama Rossi don't encourage him
Hotch: ..💀
Derek: damn y/n thought we were besties 😭😭☝🏾
Y/n: We are, you're just like an annoying other brother that I'd happily slap in the face 🥺🥺
Emily: PLEASE😭
Derek: BULLYING AND HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE
Hotch: I DONT EVEN WANNA HEAR YOU CONPLAIN ABOUT "BEING HARASSED IN THE WORKPLACE" 🤨
JJ: hotch has a point💀
Rossi: I'm making lasagna later if anyone wants to come over they're welcome to do so
Y/n: YALL ALREADY KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME WOOOOOOO
Reid: ^
Emily: see u there besties 💋💋