I sit on the couch, Thai food in my lap and the seventh and most depressing season of Gilmore Girls plays on the TV. It's spring break, and I've never really been one of the college "spring breaker" travel people, but I do wholeheartly believe in breaking from school.
It's been pretty good so far. Monday was a lazy day, Tuesday Rhea, Marybel, Poppy and I got Chinese and played softball. Wednesday Poppy tried to teach me how to craft with leather (it turned out pretty bad) and and then, we decided to get Thai across the street. We walked to a street corner, expecting a cross walk, and surprisingly there was none. So we had to run across six lanes of traffic. Poppy was much less than willingly, and when I ran to the turn lane, she refused to move from her spot. That was until some hick rednecks starting cat calling at us and she got freaked out (news flash: It's not attractive yelling across the road about how someone has a nice butt. Get a life pervs.). Let's just say we got across the road unharmed, but I made it there first.
She likes to claim she's Dauntless, but I denounce her to Amity at this point.
We stayed up till Midnight, watching crappy TV shows and talking, and the next day, I went to play paintball with Rhea and a bunch of her freaking awesome Asian friends, in which I got plenty of red welts on my stomach from paint (you may think that paint's innocent, and artistic but it hurts like crap when you put about 1,000% air pressure on it).
Rhea left to visit her parents this morning, and Marybel left Wednesday to to visit her brother. Poppy is out on a date of some kind right, now, leaving me to some alone time.
It has been one of the most fun weeks this year in college. The only thing that could've made it better, was if Will was here. Our relationship has been going great for the most part. Besides the fact that it totally sucks that he lives in Britain. Our six month anniversary is tomorrow, but Will had some stuff for work, so he couldn't make it. He did, however, promise to try for next week, but we'll see. I wish he could buy his own private plane and just fly over here whenever he wanted, but I know better than anyone how expensive that would be.
I feel like..... I don't know, i'm just not entirely happy. It's the whole uncertainty that comes with a long distance relationship. I'm thinking about marriage, and have been for a few months now. I dont know where he stands, and it's driving me insane. Is this even a serious relationship i'm in right now? That's the relationship I want. And I dont want to waste any time if I could be finding true love and i'm not sure if he thinks that what we have is true. He's so.....calm about everything. Like he wants to move fast, but there's something holding him back and he doesn't tease me as much as I thought boyfriends were supposed to? Or was that just one big stereo type? Either way, i'm completely in love with him, and he's tells me he loves me, but he doesn't seem like I expected.
I'm just to the part where Lorali and Chris have landed in Paris, when there's a knock at my door. I huff out a short breath, wondering who would dare disturb my Gilmore time. I stand, walking slowly to the front door, peering at the TV. I check in the peek hole, and find a tall man with very familiar blue green eyes standing at the front door.
My mouth drops open and I squeal in excitement, "Will!"
I jerk the door open and find him already smiling on the other side, "Hello, my love."
I smile, throwing my arm around his neck, which requires some effort for me to stand on my tip toes. He hugs me back, wrapping his arms around my waist and spinning me around. I squeal a little bit, burying mg face in the crick of his neck. Finally he sets me down, but doesn't let me go. Instead, we sway back and forth to our own rythm.
"Happy anniversary." He whispers quietly.
I smile, looking at him, "What brings you here? Besides our anniversary? I thought you couldn't make it?"
"Caffeine withdrawal. And I like looking at you." He shrugs, "I thought I'd surprise you."
I grin, "I like surprises."
He grins, "I like giving them."
I lean up, kissing him softly and slowly. I hear him grunt into the kiss, happily. He pulls away, "I miss kissing you."
"Yeah." I nod, "London makes the whole kissing thing difficult." I pause, "So, do you want coffee?"
Will smirks, adorably. He always raises an eyebrow when he smirks, and his eyes looks so young and, let's face it, a little childish, but that's one of the things I love about him. "Have I ever told you what a blessing you are in my life?"
I smile, "Not entirely. Sounds like a great topic to discuss over a steaming hot cup of caffeine, though."
"Excellent point." Will nods, letting me pull him into the apartment.
We walk into the kitchen and I start prepping the water. Will looks around, "Awful quiet around here."
I glance at him, "Rhea and Marybel are out of town. Poppy is on date."
Will raises his eyebrows, "Sounds glamorous."
I nod, handing him an empty mug, and speaking in a British accent, "Indubitably, tosh."
He grins, "Are you mocking me?"
I put a pot on the burner, "Not entirely. British accents are sexy. Especially yours."
He grins, setting his cup on the counter, "Not half as sexy as you are."
I smirk, "Me and my half American, half Hungarian accent."
He wraps his arms around me, "It's cute."
I roll my eyes and he leans in again, kissing me. He playfully bites my lip. I make a small squeaking noise, smiling a little. He smiles too, and it takes a great deal of effort, as we start chuckling, to remain liplocked. Finally he pulls away, still smirking a little, "This is fun, we should do it more often."
"You should move here." I say.
He kisses my forehead, rubbing his hands up and down my upper arms, "I want to. But my Mum is there and work and-"
I gasp, "Your mom!"
He looks at me, "What about her?"
I look at him, horrified, "I haven't met her! We've been datinging six months and I haven't met her! Or your Dad!"
He smiles, "Well, Sidney-"
"Six months!" I repeat, shocked.
"Yes. Six months." He nods, "But it's not the end of the world. We still have plenty of time! She's not going anywhere."
I furrow my eyebrows, "What is even the appropriate time to meet your boyfriends parents? Is it too soon? Do you have to be engaged first? Iris waited till she was engaged, but Percy had known Thalia forever, so what on earth do we do?"
Will smiles, laughing, "Slow down, ace! I don't think it's too early. I think that if you feel the time I'd right, it's good. I'd be happy for you to meet her. She'd love to meet you too, I'm sure. And we don't have to be like Percy or Iris. We're our own people. We can make our own life choices."
I look at him seriously, "I think it's time to have the talk."
He looks at me, "The talk?"
I sigh, "The awkward where-do-you-stand-where-do-i-stand conversation. The ex conversation. The.....future conversation. We've been dating as girlfriend and boyfriend for six months. That's got to mean something, right? I'm totally devoted to you. We almost slept together two months ago and you haven't tried again. Is that normal? I don't know! You're the first guy i've ever dated this seriosuly before. And I don't even know how you feel. Do you feel like I do? Because, I'm without a doubt in love with you. Do-"
He answers quickly, "I'm in love with you too, Sidney."
I stop speaking and stare at him. He stares back at me, looking completely collected and serious. He gestures to the table, "Should we sit?"
I lick my lips and nod, sliding into a chair. He takes a chair next to me, "What do you want to talk about first?"
I look at him, "Where do you stand?"
He leans canes his neck to look at me, "I'm in love with you, Sidney. I didn't realize that.....you were feeling.....I don't know, unsure? Because, I personally see our relationship pretty seriously. I'm at the point in my life where I'm looking for a permanent relationship and I found that in you. You're still really young. You've.....hardly lived. And neither have I, really. I feel like I need give you space. Not have a movie star boyfriend. I know you like traveling and I know you hate being tied down by college and I don't want you to feel tied down by me. I'll wait for you if I need to. Live a college life and take classes. I wish I had that sometimes, but then, I wouldn't trade one second of it for a different life. I'm also protecting myself a little. One day, you could just get up and go have an adventure by yourself and leave me behind. That's what you're supposed to be doing right now. Living to the fullest. We're both at that age."
I furrow my eyebrows, "What are you saying?"
He licks his lips, "I'm letting you know, that if you need to be young, it's okay. Because, Sidney, if you need me to wait for you, I will. For the rest of my life, I will. If you get to live your own life. I'm too fond of you to let go of you completely, so i'll wait if you need me to."
I look at him earnestly, "If I needed time, I wouldn't be dating at all. I don't want space. Sure, I'm young, but that doesn't stop me from having feelings for you. I'm so fond of you. I don't mind that you're an actor. I love that youre getting to do this. You love acting. Youre passionate about it and it's cute. And there is no one else I'd rather have an adventure with than you. I'd take you with me. Or I'd go with you. You travel all the time. We can be adventurers together."
The corners of his mouth twitch up, "Then it's settled. We'll be spontaneous travelers together."
I smile, "Good." I pause, "What about exes?"
Will shifts in his chair, looking a little uncomfortable, "Right. What about you? Got any of them?"
I shake my head, "Not serious ones. I dated my brothers friend, Zy, in high school, but it didnt last very long. Plus, Zeke was.....well, you know. And I've always had a hard time sticking to one guy. For some reason, it wasn't hard with you."
He nods.
I study his nervous features, "What about you?"
He sighs, "There was Audrey."
He's silent for a minute and I raise an eyebrow, expectantly, "Who was Audrey?"
He shrugs, "She was.....well, I was engaged to her. We managed to keep our relationship very quiet. Anyway, she was about two years ago and I hardly ever speak to her anymore. Since we broke up, I've spoken to her twice. It was.....difficult, but we were never meant to be together. I knew it from the start, but I still thought I'd give it a try. I'm just sorry I let it go so far. I'm sorry that I hurt her so much."
I'm silent for a minute. Because what does one say to that? Finding out my boyfriend was engaged is one thing. And he feels bad about it. He hurt someone's feelings. But what if he does that with me? What if he's just giving me a "try"? But I can't say anything - I can't judge him- I dont know the back story.
I look at him and ask quietly, " What happened?"
He looks out the window, sadly. It's as if he's seeing something that's not really in front of him, "I left her. I knew it wasn't right and I told her so. It was a huge mistake. The entire thing. How we met, how everything was done. I hadn't known her very long either. Two months. Just like your friend Tobias. But I knew it wasn't good. It wasn't.....passionate. We didnt really love each other. We just wanted to."
I look at him, still unsure of what to say. So I just whisper, "I'm sorry."
He looks away from the window, over to me, "Don't be. It was for the best. I wasn't right for her, she wasn't right for me. If I'd stayed with her, I would be miserable. I'm much happier here. With you. Because what we have, is real."
We stare at each other in silence for a few minutes , before I remember about the coffee. I stand, "Here, I'll get your coffee."
I take his mug and walk into the kitchen. I don't immediately get his coffee. I lean against the counter, taking it all in. I can't believe Will was engaged. He could've gotten married and we might not have met or.....if he'd gotten married two years ago, he might've had children by now. It's incredibly overwhelming.
I turn around and pour the water in a mug, mixing the crushed coffee beans in. I hear Will get out of the chair and walk towards the kitchen. He stops in the doorway just as I finish his coffee.
I look at him, handing him the mug, "Coffee."
He nods, accepting the cup. He still looks slightly terrified, a little pale, "Thanks." He pauses, taking a sip, "How.....how are you doing?"
I look at him, "Fine. I'm fine. How about you?"
He nods, paleing a but more, "Great."
I chuckle, "You're a terrible liar."
He smirks, awkwardly, "Yeah. I guess."
He takes a sip of coffee, " Someone needs to hook coffee up to an IV for me."
I smirk, "No offense, but you have problems."
Author:
Much more drama - soon to come!
Today is the last day to get your cover entry's in! Must have them by midnight! And I'll decide very soon! It's hard - they're all really great!
Shout out to all the people on Instagram who are following me - YOU'RE AMAZING!
Shout out to all my readers - YOU FREAKING WONDERFUL, AMAZING, TALENTED (I ASSUME) HUMAN BEINGS - I FREAKING LOVE YOU! YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IT'S SORT OF NORMAL TO HAVE OBSESSIONS WITH PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW.
Anyway, yes, I love you all.
Marry me?
No, i'm just kidding. That would be creepy.
See y'all! :-)
-MK