She almost forget her; she tried to, but like those lonely London nights, she failed. Last night, as Debbie remembered the fragments of how they used to be, all those painful memories that she tried so hard to bury in the grave of dead poets and forgotten stars, those events that eventually pushed her to end the marriage - remembering those, she wanted to forget about Lou again. It was too late for her to go back and twist the wind, it was never a good time to pull Lou back into her, because Lou had Julia already. But still, that phrase, that mahal kita swirled her emotions and sanity. If Lou did mean it, she was willing to let go of all the past baggages that she had in order for her to hold Lou again.
Debbie woke up to a cold manhattan morning. The bluish color of the skies and the misty dews of the early morning greeted her and as she fluttered her eyes to fully wake up, she noticed Lou's favorite blanket wrapped around her body. She sat up and held the blanket in her hands. She didn't remember Lou giving her that blanket and as she looked down, the blanket that Lou gave her was down on the floor, crumpled. She didn't remember getting that blanket too. Did Lou walk to her while she was sleeping and wrapped that blanket around her without her knowing? She shook her head. She didn't know and she wouldn't know, but one thing's for sure, it was Lou's favorite blanket.
Debbie put on a smile remembering that the blanket was a witness to most of their shared-nights. It was there when they whispered I love yous, it was there when they cried their I miss yous; the blanket was there, present during those nights when they fought and it was also there during the midnights that were spent on making love. Sure, if that blanket could speak, it would utter all the desperate moans, the phrases of begging and it would tell tales no one should know about, but Lou and Debbie only. With a smile and a sweet tug on her heart, Debbie folded the blanket before she went on to fix the couch.
It was too early. The clock on the wall still had its hand ticking at around five in the morning. Debbie decided to check upstairs and so she did. She tiptoed up the stairs and went on to check Danny. When she went inside, her little girl was curled into a ball, still deep in a slumber. Debbie bent down and placed a kiss on Danny before she decided to come out. When she was about to take the stairs down, she noticed that the blonde's room was left ajar and so, she peeked. Lou was wearing Debbie's black nightgown and it painted a smile on the brunette's hope. High-tainted hopes grasped her wrist, and Debbie hoped that deep inside Lou's heart, she hoped that there's still some place left.
It was too much for an early morning. The hopes, the memories and Lou's hints were all too much. Debbie silently laughed to herself as she walked downstairs. While her family was up there sleeping, she could make them breakfast. She wasn't a good cook, it was Lou who wheeled their kitchen and all she did was to taste, but the years she spent in London did teach her a little bit domesticity. Debbie then started pulling pans and breakfast essentials as soon as she wore Lou's apron. For Danny, she would make her pancakes and for Lou, she would cook her favorite breakfast combo. Lou loved bacon - she loved it, especially when it's almost burnt, garlic fried rice was her religon and a good portion of creamy omellete and a hot cup of coffee would probably make her smile. Debbie manned the kitchen. She perfectly did the pancakes and when she placed it on the table, Lou was now walking down the stairs.
She was so beautiful walking down, still wearing the nightgown Debbie used to wear. Debbie stood on her place as she watched Lou walking down, very oblivous of being watched and when Lou landed on the ground, it was when she noticed Debbie cooking in the kitchen. Her face lighted up, so pleasant and warm as she gave her a smile.
"Good morning, Deb." Lou spoke, and along with that, she placed a kiss on the brunette's cheek.
It was casual, but it made the burnt-out house inside Debbie's heart burning again. For two milliseconds, Debbie froze. That kiss was too quick, but somehow, the ghost of it lingered on her skin a little longer.
"Hey." Debbie smiled, "Good morning. You hungry?"
"Yes." Lou quickly replied, standing beside her, studying what she was doing, "What are you cooking?" The blonde asked as she sat on the stool, leaning her hands on the counter.
Debbie smirked, "Guess."
"Well, I could see the ingredients so obviously you are cooking my favorites, and pancakes for Danny." She proudly stated, giving off a smile for Debbie to see.
The brunette smiled, not taking her eyes off from the garlic fried rice that she was cooking, "You knew it. Why were you even asking?" She laughed, "Idiot."
"I just wanna hear you talk." Lou spoke, "I wanna hear your voice."
Debbie's heart raced to the fastest pace that it could get. Her cheeks slowly turned into cranberry-red and it was so obvious that Lou noticed it because now, Lou stared at her, with her chin perched up on her palm.
"I wrapped you in my blanket last night. You were sleeping like a baby." Lou started.
Debbie turned to her, "Oh. That's why your favorite blanket was wrapped around me when I woke up. And why is that?"
"So you could smell me."
"Oh my goodness. Are you flirting with me, Lou?"
"Why? Is it forbidden? Is it a crime, ex-wife?"
And with that remark, Debbie laughed. Lou's flirty remarks would always send her giggling like a love-stained teenager. Lou laughed along with her. It wasn't that long when Lou stood up behind and like a prelude in a song, as soft as the clouds in the sky, Lou hugged her from behind. Debbie's lips parted subtly and her heart screamed . Lou was hugging her and she didn't know what to do.
"I miss you." Lou whispered, tightening her arms thay were snaked around Debbie's waist.
Her voice was soft and Debbie even tasted the hidden longing in the way she whispered into her ears. Lou's hug was so tender that she wanted to melt into her arms. Debbie wanted to hammer Lou with a kiss and ask her what's running in her mind: do you love me still? She wanted to ask her that, but somehow, a big part of her held her back. If only she could, she would open Lou's heart just so she would know who owns the biggest space inside - is it her, or is it Julia? But instead, Debbie closed her eyes as she held Lou's arms. She wanted the time to freeze for her to have Lou, because in all honesty, she missed her too.
"Deb, I really miss you." Lou uttered once more.
And it was enough for Debbie to turn around. She met Lou's cerulean eyes. The blonde's eyes plastered an enormous piece of enigma. Debbie couldn't fathom what's inside her soulful orbs and in that very minute, she wished that she could just hand Lou a piece of paper and ask her to write the things that her heart was scared to say. Lou gave a sigh when Debbie stared into her eyes. The untouched parts of herself was longing to be touched by Debbie and she was waiting for it, been waiting for years now.
"I miss you too."
It was low, that it could almost pass like a whisper. And with that, Debbie threw herself to Lou. She hugged her, and when she did, her eyes closed. Lou hugged her back. With their bodies pressed together like magnets, they savored each other's skin. It felt like the world was ending, with all the building collapsing and people kissing death, but they didn't care, because finally they were home; they were in each other's embrace and it was them, once again.
Lou broke the hug but her hands were still holding Debbie's waist, "I miss you, Deborah."
Debbie laughed, "It's still six in the morning and that's the third I miss you, Louise." She chuckled as she put her arms on her neck.
"Be honest,.." Lou seriously asked, "...you miss me, don't you?"
"Goodness. I just said I miss you too like a minute ago." Debbie rolled her eyes jokingly.
Lou smiled, "I miss you terribly, you felon."
"Shout it to the moon, law-abiding citizen."
"If I could, I will. Want me to shout n--"
"I've been here for two minutes now, when will you two kiss?"
Debbie and Lou jumped off away from each other when Danny's voice resonated. And there, in her little bathrobe with her hair going into different directions, with her hands on her hips, Danny gazed at them, obviously waiting for them to kiss.
"Hi, baby. Good morning." Lou laughed and bent down to carry Danny, "How's your sleep, hmmm?" She added when she carried Danny.
"Just good." Danny shrugged looking to Lou and then to Debbie, "Now, you two kiss."
Debbie wore her apron off before she inched closer to Lou and Danny, "Hey you little missy..," She kissed her nose and smiled, "Divorced couple don't kiss."
"But you miss each other!"
"That's true, but that doesn't mean that we can kiss."
"But you did before, why can't you now?"
Lou smiled awkwardly at Debbie before she looked at the upset Danny, "Baby, because we are divorced. That means mommy and I are just friends."
"But I was watching you two and friends don't stare at each other that way."
"Oh my God." Debbie laughed before she got Danny from Lou's arms, "Are you really seven years old?"
"I am, mom. Now, kiss."
Lou scoffed, "Why don't we eat our --"
"I won't eat unless you two will kiss."
Debbie sighed. She then placed Danny on the counter top. And when she did, Danny crossed her arms on her chest as she angrily looked at her moms standing in front of her.
"Baby, listen to me. Mommy Lou and I --"
"Don't baby me, mommy. Kiss!" Danny cut her off.
Debbie exasperatedly sigh, "Baby, mommy Lou has Julia alrea--"
Debbie wasn't able to finish her sentence when Lou grabbed her waist, turned her around and in a flash of a beating heart, kissed her full on the lips. Lou's hold on the small of her back was so strong, but the kiss that was placed on her lips was so soft and passionate.
"Happy now, Danny?" Lou smirked as she turned to Danny, with her hands still on Debbie's waist.
Danny grinned, "Now, we are a family."
***