ISABELLA'S POV
"Morning Princess." I beamed when I saw those big blue eyes looking at me. A tired smile crept onto her face. "Oh, I'm so proud of you." I praise her. Ian grabbed her attention and she had the same reaction to him.
She fought. She fought and she kicked ass terrifying everyone including the doctors and beating all odds she pulled through. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. The tsunami of fear and pain that sent waves drowning me began to calm. I could see her beautiful orbs and happy smile once again.
As parents, you fight for your baby. I knew she wasn't okay after the doctor told me she was, so I fought for her. And I fought for her again, they were going to wake her up too early. I know they're doctors and everything but she's my little girl. I knew she was still tired and she just needed a few more days to get her strength back to keep fighting. And they granted her that and I will keep fighting for her no matter what the situation is. She's my little girl and I know her best I know what she needs.
The day after everyone came to see her obs dropped massively and they kept pushing to have us wake her up, I knew she wasn't ready. Ian knew she wasn't ready. The next day they went up a little. And the day after that a little more a week later she was breathing on her own again and now she's awake looking at us, listening to her favourite music.
"Can I?" I gestured to pick her up and the doctor nodded. "Go ahead." I passed Ian the camera, I picked up Indie and held her close to me. I haven't cuddled her in two weeks. "My beautiful, strong baby girl." I kissed the top of her head the tears spilt down my cheeks, I just felt so relieved almost like I was floating when I was holding her. It had been so long since I had her this close to me in my arms without all the wires and the medicine.
Her blue eyes didn't seem to reflect so much pain and it warmed my Indie was okay. And she was going to be okay. We were taking her home we're she belongs.
She reached her hands up and I dipped my head down so she could touch my face. She tugged at my lip a little. I kissed her little hand. "Let's go see daddy." I tell her walking around to Ian. He smiled his real smile for the first time in months. I missed his smile. I missed him.
I hoped Indie being better meant Ian would come back. Everything we had been through in our relationships he's never pushed me away. He's never been cold towards me. He's never been this way. Never made me feel not loved by him even when we were just friends. It broke my heart. Sometimes when he looked at me it felt like he blamed me for this. For not keep Indie safe as she grew. Sometimes I blamed myself I was meant to keep her safe and see developed this illness I knew it wasn't me but when he gave me that look I could t help but let the guilt in.
We spent hours just holding her between us. Cuddles on the little chair. Ian held me and I held Indie. We took in every part of her. She had grown so much. Her hair was growing too and she had some colour to her skin now instead of it looking so chalky. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was so special. So strong.
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It had been a few weeks since we got to take our angel home. She has settled into life really nicely. We were pretty much always outside with her. She loved looking up at the trees and she petted the dogs.
Ian even managed to get Naz to come outside and lay with us in the shade for a while. His fur was almost all grey now and he's face was tired. A vet came out and checked him over yesterday and the same thing was said. He's in no pain just old and tired. It was sad really. He went from this big dog who would be bye my side protecting me and running over almost knocking me onto the floor when I came home to this. He could hardly walk and when he did it was very slow and he took a break every few steps. Ian carried him from the door of the house to the shaded tree area so he could be outside. He was patient with Indie as she petted him and used him to stand up.
Indie was like Naz she got tired quickly too but the doctors said that was completely normal and she'll be fine. She was already doing so well learning how to stand and move her hands play with toys again and it had only been a month since we left the hospital. She still had two naps a day and she slept almost all night. We still had her in our bedroom. Sometimes I think it was for her safety just in case anything was to happen but other times it was a buffer for me and Ian. We're still in this horrid place.
Like right now. We're in the garden. In each other's proximity. He's not speaking to me. I've tried and tried and honestly I'm so over trying. He's not trying with me. I touched his hand with mine. I just wanted some sort of affection from him. He looked down at our hands my fingers dancing over his before pacing them together. I watched him. He smiled and then frowned and pulled away.
I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. Indie started calling my name so I looked over at her distracted from Ian and his coldness. "What's up baby girl?" I asked with a fake smile on my face that turned to a real one when I looked at her. "Mama." And then she said some gibberish. "Can you pass me her water please, babe?" I asked Ian. He handed it to me without a word. "Thank you." I say reaching for Indie. "Come, come to mama." I coax her and she shakes her head with a cheeky grin as she was standing holding onto Stitch our other dog. "Come here. Cheeky." I say in the same cheerful baby voice I always talk to her in. She sits on her bum and then crawls over to me. I help her drink her water. "Ian?" Mhmm he replied. "Have I done something?" I asked not looking at him but focusing on Indie as I played with her. She was giggling and happy. My little happy girl. This is all I wanted her to be from the start. I didn't want her to be in pain like she was in before. I just wanted to make her happy like my parents made me happy. That's all I wanted her to be. "No." He said bluntly. I nodded "is something wrong ?" I asked. "No." I nodded again. "I'm going to take her up for a nap." I say to him when she yawned. "Maybe we could do something?" "I think I'm going to go to the gym." I tried to hide the tears that were brimming. We've not spent time together in 10 months. Since I gave birth to Indie pretty much. "Have a good session." "Thanks...eat something." He said before standing up. "Wave bye to daddy." I tell Indie showing her how to wave. She moved her arm to wave at him. "Are you waving baby!" I said to her happily. She's never done this before. She waves them around when she's excited but that's it. The operation and treatment set her back in her progress. "We'll done baby." I praised her. "Good girl princess." Ian said waving back. He was smiling too but he didn't seem as excited as I was.
When he left I played with Indie for a while longer. I got the camera out and videoed her waving she was getting so excited as she did it. But then she started to rub her eyes which told me she was really ready for a nap. "Come on then Naz." I say to him as I stand up with Indie placing her on my hip. He struggled to stand but eventually he managed it and we took a slow walk inside. I called the other dogs in when we got to the door and they can running in. "Lay down boy." I tell Naz he listened and laid down. I went and got his water and set it beside him. "Good boy. Baby." I stroked him Indie copied me. "You get some rest baby." I tell him before going up to the nursery. Indie naps in here so she is still use to the room and sleeping in her own. And then at night she sleeps with us at night.
I laid her down and switched her star projector in before closing the curtains too and switching the baby monitor on so I could hear her when I was downstairs. "Sleep tight baby girl." I whisper she had already fallen asleep before I left. I ran down that stairs and into the laundry room to put a load of washing. And then checked on Naz I moved his head onto my lap. I kissed him and fussed him. I cried. I cried I really cried.
I felt like my marriage was over. I felt like I was losing my husband. He looked at me and I didn't see love in his eyes anymore. It was just nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know what to do to make him love me again. I didn't know what I did to make him to loving me in the first place.
My phone started ringing so I picked it to check who it was. Nina's Id flashed up for a FaceTime call. I wiped my eyes and let the phone ring through so I could pull myself together then I called her back. "Hey sorry I was just putting Indie down." I smiled into the camera. "Hey." She sounded deflated. "What's up?" I asked concerned still stroking Naz. "The kids are being so difficult. Noah got in a fight at school. How does an 8 year old get into a fight? And Koa has been running around breaking everything. And Darcy is being a diva." She looked stressed. "Is Chris home?" I asked. She nodded. I could hear the kids they sounded hyper to say the least. "Come over. Ian's at the gym. Indiana is down for a nap." "You sure?" She pouted. "We've not had a Niabella date in ages." I tell her. I wanted to make her feel better. "You're too good to me." I smiled. "See you in 20." I nodded and we hung up. "You feeling up for moving buddy? Or you going to lay her?" I asked him. He just looked at me. "I'll bring you bed in here." I tell him.
I bring his bed from the family room and lay it down in the room where he was. We don't use it much. There's a piano in here and a book shelf. It's the room that is attached to our patio doors to the garden. "You just stay here baby." I tell him as he climbs on his bed.
I go into the kitchen and wash my hands. I watch Indie sleep as I did this on the baby monitor. She was sound asleep I felt myself smiling at her. She looks so adorable. Her bottom lip pouts out. Ian says I sleep like that too. But it's cuter on her.
When I washed my hands I began to weigh out ingredients for cupcakes. Me and Nina bake all the time we'll we used to. Before the kids and the cameras and the fame. When we were kids on set. So I'm sure it would brighten her day a little.
I wrapped her in a hung when she got here. Tightly. I pushed away what was going on in my life and listened to her rant as we baked. We had a good time. When they were baked Indie woke so I went and got her and she 'helped' us ice and decorate the cupcakes. She got frosting on her hands and then it went straight in her mouth. "Oh dear." I say wiping it off but she seemed to like it. I mean who doesn't it's sugar.
By the time we finished Nina was feeling a lot better and I was glad I was able to make her day better. She took some cupcakes home to bribe her kids when Chris picks them up from school. Turns out it was just Koa at home making all that noise on the phone earlier. I just hoped she had a better afternoon.
Ian still wasn't home. But that was normal he's been out a lot. Typically spending the mornings with Indie and I and then after that he goes MIA.
I made Indie something to eat for dinner and then we played a little longer. When she took her second nap of the day I began dinner for Ian so he could heat it up when he got home. I also began reading some scripts my agent sent me over. They want me to go to a few auditions get back to work but I think I was just going to stay home with Indie for a while. I just wanted to be around her as much as I could.
I ate a salad for dinner. I still hadn't got my appetite back yet but I was trying to keep my body fuelled. Eventually it was time to bathe Indie and put her to bed with a bottle. I went back down to do the laundry and then shoved a cupcake in my mouth. They were pretty good to be honest.
I cleaned up Indies toys and the rest of the house. I helped Naz move to the family room so he was on his love seat all comfortable. Laying the blanket over him. I brought his water and food back in here too. "I love you boy." I tell him before locking up the house and sending Ian a text.
My Smoulder ❤️
Hey baby. I've locked the house up. Your dinner is in the oven you need to heat it up. Hope you had a good gym session.
I chose to believe he was still at the gym instead of avoiding me completely. It was easier for me.
Indie was fast asleep next to me. I pecked her forehead before laying down beside her. "Night baby girl. Mummy and Daddy love you."