-Loki's P.O.V -
I rested my head in my hands and watched Aislin sleep. I had to restrain her once more so she would stop thrashing. So had thrown herself to the floor more than a few times. She has been unconscious for twelve days. She started screaming three days ago. Just garbled words and shrieks until this morning. I could finally make out the words she was saying. Begging me to kill her. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Her body trembled and I stood from my chair. I knew it was going to happen again. I barely made it out of the room before I heard them.
"Kill me! Kill me! Please, Loki! If you love me, kill me! I'm begging you! Just do it already!" She screeched. Followed by the horrible, painful screams. I ran until I couldn't feel my feet.
I was on the opposite side of the palace. By the library where I had spent my childhood. I slipped through the doors, the scent of old paper invading my nose. I sniffed the air and slid down one of the bookshelves until I was sitting on the ground. I thought that I could still hear her screams. I felt awful for leaving her, but I could not bare to listen to her cries. My heart throbbed in my chest and I rested my forehead.
"Damn you Naddr!" I screamed so loud that I thought my lungs might burst. I rested my head against the bookshelf, my eyes closed gently. Would she ever be the same again? My breaths were ragged and shallow. I tried to picture Aislin's smiling face but each time I did, it was replaced by horrific images of Naddr torturing her. I heard storming footsteps nearing. And I slunk lower down the shelf. Not wishing to be found. I heard the library doors burst open, followed by heavy breathing.
"Loki!" Thor summoned. "Loki! Come quick!" I rolled my eyes. He probably just wanted to show me another card tower he built using the royal Völva's tarot cards.
"Thor. I do not wish to see. Leave me." I hissed.
"Loki!" He breathed and rounded the corner of my hiding spot. "C...ome.... Quick....she's....a-wake!" He cried, his words interrupted my ragged breathing. I sprang to by feet and stared at him with wide eyes. "Well, what are you waiting for?! Hurry!" I took of sprinting down the halls, my tailcoat flapping behind me. I couldn't seem to move my feet fast enough.
I finally skidded to a halt in front of our bedchambers. There was no screaming coming from inside, that was a good sign. Just soft chatter. I carefully pushed the door open, revealing just about the entire palace staff.
"Loki!" Frigga bellowed and engulfed me in an embrace. "She refused to speak to anyone except for you." She watched me with worried eyes. I could not see Aislin. She was surrounded by too many people.
"Leave us!" I ordered. Everyone gave each other confused glances before staggering out of bedchambers. Leaving behind an eager Thor. "Thor, I said leave us." I hissed. He stepped forward and clapped a hand on my shoulder.
"Good luck." He whispered with fear lingering in his eyes. I watched until he left the room before turning. What I saw almost made me scream. Aislin's eyes were wide with fear and pain. Her face covered in self inflicted scratches. Each of them very deep and very bloody. She was no longer being restrained. Her were cheeks hollow as if she hadn't eaten for months. Her skin a sickly whitish green. Under her eyes were thick, black bags as if she hadn't just slept for twelve days straight.
"Loki! Loki!" She sobbed, her voice sounding frightened, but her features still calm. As if someone else was controlling the rest of her body. "Loki! It's gone!" She was in hysterics, yet her face was still not showing it.
"What?" I gasped in confusion. I felt a strange buzz in my ears while Aislin began to thrash again. My heart dropped to my feet watching her like this. "Aislin? What is going on?!" I cried.
"No! Loki! Please don't be mad! Belle killed her!" Her lips twisted into a horrid grin. "Loki! Run! Please!" She begged, her legs suddenly swinging off the edge of the bed almost unwillingly. She was stiff, and moved like a robot. But twitched as she walked as if some unknown force was holding her back. She moved like a rusty old robot that needed oiling.
"AISLIN! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHO'S BELLE?!" I screamed, my throat beginning to throb.
"Loki! Run please! Get out of here!" She begged. "No, Belle! Stop!" I thought she was going to throw up from screaming so much. "Stop it Belle!" Her body was inches from mine. "Loki! Listen to me!" I watched her in horrific confusion. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen.
"Goodbye, Loki!" A voice that didn't belong to Aislin cackled. I watched something flash before Aislin's eyes before both of us collapsed on the ground. Aislin cradling my head in her lap as her tears landed on my face.
"Loki!? Why didn't you listen!?" She screeched, her voice hoarse. "I told you to run!" She sobbed. "Guards! Guards!" Tens of footsteps grew closer and closer as the room began to swirl and smudge together. I tasted blood in my mouth. Suddenly I tasted Aislin's lips on my mouth. When she pulled away blood was smeared all over her lips.
"Oh, loki! Please don't leave me! Don't die!" She cradled me in her arms as I felt my eyes beginning to flutter. "No, Loki! I love you! Don't leave me!" She desperately tried to keep my eyelids open, sloppily holding them open with her own fingers. "I'm sorry! This is all my fault! I tried to stop Belle! I love you!" She sobbed. Her tears mixing with the taste of blood in my mouth. She shakily wiped away the trail of blood that dripped from the corner of my mouth.
It was all a blur when the bedchamber doors burst open. Someone scooped me up in their arms as another dragged Aislin away. A glinting silver thing was ripped from my abdomen. I screamed but it sounded far off. The whole room was spinning. Guards gripped me here and there. People pressing cloths to my abdomen. Someone kept screaming. I could not tell who it was. Maybe I was the one screaming. But the screaming was the only thing that followed me into the darkness as my eyes sealed shut.
- Aislin's P.O.V-
I felt my breathing speed up. The hyperventilating made me dizzy. I didn't know whether it was Belle or me who stabbed Loki to be honest.
<Aislin> A faint voice croaked in the back of my mind. <Help me> She whispered.
"No." I hissed out loud. I could feel her ragged breathing as she desperately clawed at the wall between us.
<The baby was Loki's> Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. My eyes widened, my heart stopping.
"W-what?" My voice cracked. There was no response. I guess Naddr gave me the antidote. I guess that was the task I had to complete. I couldn't hear Belle in my head anymore. There weren't anymore random spikes where I couldn't control my own body.
I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I sprinted down the halls towards the infirmary. I could barely breathe. And lying in bed for twelve days didn't help my cause. Or speed. The quickest I could run would barely be considered a jog. Once I reached the infirmary I thought my lungs would collapse. Two guards stood by the door. I hurried to the doors but was knocked backwards onto the floor.
"What the hell! Let me through!" I ordered. They glanced at each other before the taller one spoke.
"Lady Aislin. We have strict instructions. You are not allowed in." He growled.
"Who said!? Let me through!" I shrieked, my tears flying everywhere as I started pounding on his chest with my fists. They glanced at each other again.
"Loki."
"What?" I gasped, my voice cracking.
"Loki, said specifically... To not let you in." I felt my heart thump violently in my chest.
"Did he say why?!" I cried and slumped to my knees, with my hand tangled in my hair. There had to be a good reason! I screamed and tugged on my hair. Then took in a huge gulp of air and screamed again. Then sucked in more air and screamed again. My throat burning. He's dead. I fell to the side and my face smacked against the tile floor. The guard yanked me to my feet and dragged me down the hall.
I'm insane.
I thought suddenly. I'm going crazy. I'm losing it. Did Belle ever actually exist? Was I the one who stabbed Loki?
I kicked and screamed, clawing at their arms. "Let me go! Let me go! Let me see him! He can't be dead! I begged. They shoved me into my bedchambers.
"You'll be lucky if you're not executed." They snickered and slammed the door. A click signaling they locked me in. I laid sprawled out on the floor. My throat too sore to scream anymore. I had practically shredded my vocal chords.
The whole suddenly world crashed down around me. The ceiling crumbled above me. Threatening to crush me as the golden chunks fell.
I wish they did.
I wanted to cry. But I couldn't. I laid there. My fingers tracing my belly. Where my baby used to be growing. The bed fell to pieces. Followed by the furniture. The drapes went up in flames. Engulfing the room around me.
I sighed and rolled over to my side. I pulled my knees to my chest and shut my eyes. They flashed open when my lids were filled with visions of Loki covered in blood.
Maybe I'm going insane.
Maybe I'm losing it.
I looked at my hands. They were covered in blood. I almost screamed, but decided against it. I pushed myself off the floor and quickly entered the bathroom. I stuck my hands under the cool water and watched the crimson blood swirl down the drain. Turning the water orange.
When an idea popped into my head. I quickly turned the water off and ran into the bedchambers. Where is it? Where is it? I practically destroyed the room searching for it before a silver glimmer caught my eye. The knife Belle had stabbed Loki with. I picked it up with a shaky hand. The memory still fresh in my mind. I shut my eyes and raised it in the air. I took a deep breath. Then brought it down hard against my thigh. I screamed. Thick red blood dripped from the wound. The knife was buried down so deep that I couldn't even see the blade anymore. Just the wooden handle with a bloody handprint on it. My vision began to blur as I lost more blood.
"Help me! Please!" I sobbed. The door unbolted revealing the guards from earlier. They stared at me for a second and then I collapsed to the ground. They ducked to my aid and the taller one scooped me up in his arms.
"Lady Aislin! What happened!?" They were already sprinting down the hall.
"I-I t-tripped..." I groaned. They were taking me to the one place I wanted to go. The infirmary.
We burst through the doors. We passed a bed that was surrounded by nurses, and I knew it was Loki. They placed me carefully on a cot, the one next to his and I began to tremble. The pain finally hitting me. One of the nurses that was tending to Loki turned and began tending to me.
"Oh my, what happened?"
"I-t-t-" I couldn't form coherent words. Just jumbled sounds. I opened my mouth to speak but it was replaced my garbled screams. Someone gasped.
"What...was... that?" They hissed. A hiss I recognized all too well. Suddenly my hand shot out and gripped the nurse's tunic.
"I-is-h....he.....a-a-....li-ve?" I whispered, motioning to the bed next to me. She stared at me in shock and nodded quickly. I fell back onto the cot in relief. My thigh throbbing. "P-p...ple...e-ase.... H-h....el-p.... Meeee..." I whimpered and felt my stomach churning.
"Lady Aislin is there anything we should know before we operate?" She asked, already scribbling on her clipboard. It was the mandatory question they always had to ask. I bit my lip and felt tears well up in my eyes. These tears were different than all the ones I had shed today. Those were all tears of fear and pain. Tears for what the future would hold. Tears of horror, and frightened tears. Never once had I cried tears of pure, heart wrenching, vomit inducing, depressing, suicidal sadness. Not until now. They weight of all that had happened today finally hit me.
Too much had happened today. Far too much. It seemed like it was unnatural how many events occurred today. Blood. Too much blood. Too much pain. Too much loss. The tears rolled down my cheeks. I rolled to the side and cried. I cried into my pillow. Not because of pain. Because of sadness and loss.
"I'm not going to be a mother anymore..." I wailed, my words distorted by my lips, my cries, my swollen tongue. I felt hollow inside. A piece of me was missing. "I'm not going to be a mother anymore!" I blubbered. My eyes hurt from shedding so many tears today. I knew Loki had heard me. I bet the entire palace heard me at the rate I was screaming.
"Lady Aislin-"
"She's gone! She's gone!" I scream-sobbed. I felt like all those years that I held back my tears, and bit my tongue. All those times I forced a smile. All those years of holding back, I was finally letting go now.
I sat up, dry heaving. "I'm going to vomit." I announced and then a trashcan was shoved into my hands. I emptied the contents of my stomach, which was not much. And sat there, my stomach heaving, for several minutes, until I ached.
I wanted Loki to hold me. I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be ok. But it's not going to be ok. Nothing will ever be ok anymore. This one day. A mere twenty four hours had destroyed our family. The nurse held my shaking hand, trying to coax the words from my mouth.
"Lady Aislin dear, what is it?" The other nurse was already administering the numbing medicine. Within seconds the aching in my leg completely stopped.
Which just made the aching in my chest intensify.
"It couldn't possibly be your leg anymore, what's the matter?" I couldn't even make out her features clearly, my eyes clouded by tears. I felt like the entire infirmary went silent. Awaiting my answer. I could hear Loki's ragged breathing. I wanted to see his eyes. I wanted to see his green eyes.
"Aislin?" She waved a gentle hand in front of my face and my eyes snapped from the group surrounding Loki to her eyes. I felt my eyes well up with tears again.
"Loki." I whispered. I knew he heard me when his breathing paused. "Loki. T-the baby, it was yours, b-but I lost it." I sobbed. He's going to hate me. He's going to leave me. I lost the baby. It's all my fault. I can't do anything right. My throat felt like it was closing up. I couldn't breathe right. "I'm so sorry Loki! I lost the baby! I lost it!" I screamed and curled up in a ball on my stomach. The bed sticky with blood where I was laying. "I lost the babyyyyy...." I moaned drawing out the 'y'. "I lost the babyyyy...." Something warm was trickling down from in between my legs. I felt my vision going fuzzy, my eyes crossing and losing focus. The voices started to sound far off. The beeps and echoes somewhere off in the distance.
"She's losing blood!" Someone called and I was rolled onto my back. I blinked slowly. The whole world moving in slow motion. The whole world trembling. Someone pressed a cold compact against my burning forehead. A shooting pain shot down my leg and a scream escaped my lips. It sounded distant. I watched as the nurse that had removed the blade handed it to another nurse and pressed a bloodied cloth to my leg. My vision was clouded by blood. The skin around my wound felt tight. Another nurse gripped my hand.
"Stay with us Aislin, come on. Stay with us." She begged. I blinked ever so slowly and looked at her. I could barely focus. I felt like I was moving in slow motion.
"Is Loki ok?" I croaked. My breathing slowing down.
"Yes. Prince Loki will be just fine, you hit nothing major." I flinched at her words. It was Belle! I felt tears in my eyes.
"Bye..." I whispered. Drawing out the word.
"No! No! Lady Aislin! You're going to be fine! Stay with us Lady Aislin!" She ordered in a strict tone. Trying to keep the panic in her voice at a minimum. I felt a sharp prick in my arm. I looked down and saw a needle, connected to a tube, connected to a bag of blood in my arm. The bag hanging from one of those coat hanger type things they have in the Midgardian hospitals. Something warm pumped through my veins. The sounds and sights surrounding me started to come back into focus and the nurses all breathed a breath of relief.
"That's it Lady Aislin, that's it. Come back to us." She cooed and rubbed circles on my hand. I sniffled and with her help, sat up on the bed.
"What happened?" I whispered and looked around, my head aching.
"You were losing blood. You um... You had... Your um... Miscarriage...." I whimpered. I've just been carrying around a dead baby for the last hour.
"I have no idea how she knew the baby had already passed before she had her miscarriage..." One of the nurses mumbled to another.
"Nooooooo...." I sobbed quietly. My hair sticking in the snot that dripped from my nose. I saw a big man approach and they pushed the hair back from my forehead. Thor.
"Aislin, it'll be alright, rest." He assured.
I swear I saw a tear run down his cheek. The almighty Thor. Shedding a tear for the insane girl who nearly killed his brother.
I'm not going to be a mother.
"Nooooo... It won't be alright!" I cried and clung to his tunic. I would rather have Loki to cuddle with right now, but he wasn't in the greatest condition.
"Shhh...." He hushed and wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed into his shoulder. Well, more like screamed. He patted my hair and laid me down on the bed. "Rest now, Aislin." He ordered in a gentle tone. He tucked the thin sheets up under my neck. Which they somehow changed without me noticing and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. Everyone had left. Thor flicked off the lights as he exited too. The infirmary lit by only the windows lining the wall. Lit by the brilliant moons outside.
"Loki..." I begged. I longed for his arms to wrap around me. "Loki, I know you're not asleep. Answer me!" I sobbed.
"What, Aislin?" He grogged after a few long minutes.
He was crying.
"Loki. I'm sorry." I felt the tears come down faster and thicker.
"Aislin... I don't even know if I can trust you anymore." He growled. I heard a slight wince in his voice. My stomach twisted into a knot.
"Please. Loki, don't leave me. That's the last thing I need!" I begged as I began wheezing.
"You stabbed me."
"No! It wasn't me!" I cried.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Aislin." He replied. I tasted blood in my mouth.
"Loki. You said you would never hurt me." I whimpered. "And right now you're tearing me to shreds." There was no response. I shut my eyes and cried myself to sleep.