as a thank you for getting me to 20k which is a huge milestone i thought id give you all a little one shot/imagine of brad and kyungsoo...
kidding its petesoo obvi or is it...
'sometimes, all i think about is you
late nights in the middle of june
heat waves been faking me out
cant make you happier now'
- heat waves, glass animals
Kyungsoo was academically inclined, a privilege to be with his little effort and lack of motivation. Everyone knew that Kyungsoo was athletic and smart, everyone knew that Peter was also smart but for him they believed he had no life and just sat at home studying rather than socialising.
Partially correct. He wasn't socialising, he was swinging from building to building, sometimes even swinging towards Kyungsoo's location before regretting it and doing a u-turn mid swing. Illegally too, birds get very affected if he doesn't check all angles.
Kyungsoo did a u-turn of his own, he suddenly had an interest in notes that would end up being almost word for word of the teacher's details, whether spoken or written. If you asked him he'd use the excuse of 'Korean household', but really it was more for a boy named Peter Parker. Parker often missed classes or if he made it to them he'd potentially fall asleep and mentally miss the class. Kyungsoo picked up on it, this was even before they started dating.
Before dating, Kyungsoo would use it as way to have a step above the boy. He'd never ask for money, not needing it and not wanting to take it from the boy, mainly because he kind of just wanted an excuse to see the soft blue sweaters up close. Kyungsoo liked fashion, that's all, nothing else.
At that time anyway.
Now he does his notes and Peter's notes for making the boy feel better and when he see's the boy slowly drifting into his own realm, he doesn't hesitate to rewrite his notes if he hadn't already started. With a slight shake Peter would be awake, and in an oddly specific and repetitive routine he would look at the clock in the classroom and swear under his breathe. Just like now.
"Shit. I missed another class, May's gonna kill me if she knows I'm not paying attention." Peter's forehead hit his desk as his eyes screwed shut in annoyance. He continued to knock his head onto the hard and cool top of the table until Kyungsoo placed his hand where his target was. Once Peter's head hit the warm hand of Kyungsoo, he remained there, eyes still closed and taking in the comfort of the boy before him. Who he had yet to see holding extra notes in his unoccupied hand, written far neater than his own personal notes the boy was utterly in awe of Peter and believed he deserved only the best.
"Petey, stop doing that, your face doesn't deserve this mistreatment." Peter just grunted in annoyance to Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo was late for his hockey practise but didn't complain or care as Peter sat distressed in front of him. "Peter Benjamin Parker, if you do not listen to me and show some respect by looking at me while I speak to you, you can say goodbye to every item of clothing that you have of mine stashed under your mattress. Pathetic attempt to hide them since I'm in your bed every night at this rate."
Peter was startled by his little secret being voiced in the empty room he finally looked up the boy who was threatening him. "How? How did you- you know?"
"Petey, you make out with me on the bed, I always see a sleeve hanging out where you've tried to stuff my clothes in a rush. Should be on top so I don't see, but I like the dynamics."
Peter was speechless, Kyungsoo found out Peter's secrets too easily for his liking. His role of being the literal person behind the mask of Spider-Man, the first one he found out.
"Great, you're paying attention to me now. Take this and while I am at practise read through them, once we've finished I'll take you home."
"I can't join you today, I was late to you know; superhero duties yesterday so I felt like it was a good idea to you know, go earlier today." The smile that Kyungsoo always and only showed Peter, dropped in an instant. Peter was oblivious to the falter in Kyungsoo's mood.
"Right. Of course, how could I forget your priorities."
"Kyungsoo, I don't mean it like-"
Kyungsoo didn't utter a farewell, just stepped back, tugged his bag on his shoulder and walked out the door.
"-that."
Kyungsoo was tired, he'd never tell Peter that, he knew the teenage superhero had enough on his platter and adding his worries and need for therapy didn't feel right to chuck on an already breaking boy. Though, he often was on the verge of telling Peter he couldn't do it anymore, whether that was dating him or living, sometimes he just felt like not existing.
Kyungsoo wasn't far down the corridor when the door he left opened in a rush, a rush that slammed it against the counter placed stupidly in the doors opening path.
His steps slowed in hopes that Peter was running towards him to make the boy feel like he had a place, but the patter of the other boys steps got quieter, and the quieter they got the louder Kyungsoo's heart thumping ringed in his ears.
Kyungsoo never made it to hockey practise that evening, he didn't make it to the next four days of school either. Brad had bargained his way into his room where a crumbled mess was sat on the floor by his bed.
"You good Yoo? Stupid question, clearly not, did Peter do something?" It took Kyungsoo a few moments of silence before confiding, but not to the extent he wish his feelings would let him.
"No. Maybe. I don't know, I'm being dramatic."
"He asked about you." Kyungsoo just hummed in a monotonous rhythm. "Why didn't he just come to see you himself? Kind of a dick move to leave you like this."
"He thinks I have a cold."
"The chicken soup he gave me makes sense now. Sorry I ate that, checking for poison." Brad laid himself down next to the almost emotionless Kyungsoo, Brad directed the boys head to his shoulder. A much needed move as Kyungsoo's neck clicked back into place. The two boys sat there in silence, just Brad playing with Kyungsoo's hair as just the comfort of a person was enough to please Kyungsoo in this moment.
"Brad?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm tired, if you don't mind? Eric can give you some homemade food before you leave as an apology."
Brad hesitantly got himself up, hoping that the boy was being honest and would simply just sleep some more.
"Please don't hesitate to reach out to me Kyungsoo. I may be a dick myself but you are my best friend, I don't want to watch you suffer like this."
"Sure. And.."
"Yes, I will kill Peter for you." A smile tugged at Kyungsoo'd stone face for a second.
"Not that. But thank you, for being you and being here."
"Of course, what are ex lovers for?"
"Get out." Brad's laugh went out of the room with him, but infected Kyung soo slightly until he realised that Brad's footsteps where no longer in hearing range.
And again, Kyungsoo was far too used to sounds of people leaving. Far too used to the silence that followed after the retreating footsteps. His window sliding open went unnoticed until he could sense the presence of another in his room.
"So you lie to me? But Brad can know the truth." Peter stood with his feet at Kyungsoo's head. Anger mixed with betrayal was laced in his eyes. "I can't believe you said it was a cold and you don't want to infect me but Brad can come in here as he pleases and declare that you are ex lovers like it's nothing?"
"Spider-Man is having a go at my relationships? That's rich coming from him."
"What the hell Kyungsoo?!"
"Sorry, that was too far. Rough patrol today?" Kyungsoo now sat up with his back leaning on his beds frame, his bed sheets held no creases which worried Peter as it hadn't looked slept in for the whole time he was missing.
"Have you been sleeping on the floor?"
"No. Maybe. I can't remember much, it's been like a day so maybe." Peter stumbled at the false confession.
"It's been a week Kyungsoo."
"Oh? It has? I didn't know, sorry."
"Have you slept at Brad's"
"Parker, I have just found out that I have been on the floor for a week, no recallable memories of it being a week mind you, and you are asking me if I'm cheating on you?"
"No I'm asking if you've at least been in a bed, I don't care whose, I don't want you sleeping on the floor. When you do that at mine it normally means you've had horrific memories as nightmares." Kyungsoo's guard began to break, his eyes shining with a salty water. Everything was hitting him with such a force that he became overwhelmed with his own thought process.
"Peter help me please. Please just make it go away."
"What Kyunggie?"
"Everything. You, Spider-man, school, Hydra, existence." Peter was beginning to worry, he's seen the boy broken but this was starting to sound unfixable, tiny shattered pieces that get lost in cracks and crevices, never to be be glued back into a whole piece again, forver missing something that made them seem complete. Peter kneeled down next to Kyungsoo and pulled him close to him, his hands now where Brad's were but these hands made Kyungsoo hit rock bottom, his emotions on overload so he couldn't even cry.
"Talk to me please. I beg that you talk to me about everything thats going through your mind. Even if it's scattered, I'll do the connecting and listen to you. Please just don't shut me out right now."
Kyungsoo remained silent for the next ten minutes, but Peter knew this wasn't him shutting him out. It was him thinking how to not scare Peter off. Kyungsoo didn't know that Peter would never feel scared enough to leave, he's more scared of leaving the broken mess of a boy than being scared off.
"I miss you. But I don't want to blame you. After biology when you left, suddenly I just- I don't even know Peter. I just stopped working. God you're a superhero and a straight A student but you are stupid when it comes to people, especially me. I mean I was curled up on the floor and the only thing you can process is the fact that Brad made a lovers joke, which by the way was one time."
"Oh? Keep going Kyungsoo, this is good."
"Now that's just Peter. Spider-Man is worse, like good for him he's cool and all that but when is he going to save me?"
"Save you from what Kyunggie?"
"Myself." Peter's world went dark, the boy has never confided this much in Peter before, he felt relieved that he finally took this layer of the bullet proof wall down but with each word Peter felt weaker, his significant other was suffering in silence while he left him alone on countless occasions.
Everyone, Peter included, saw Kyungsoo as this happy and lively and strong teenager, witha laugh that carried through the air and could make anyone want to laugh along with him. His smile always present, always there to make other's feel like smiling. Kyungsoo was this aura of happiness on the surface. True, he was happy on the inside on some occasions like when he took Peter on their first date, but like everyone he had his shadows that wouldn't give him a break.
"What do you mean? Please don't mean what I think you are saying."
"Sometimes I don't even know myself, Petey. I just feel lost sometimes. My hyungs mean the world to me, but do I mean the world to them? I had this thought about how they would be better if I never existed, or if I just disappeared forever, I mean look at all the hassle they go through when I kept making them have to move from place to place. Eric would thrive if he could get attached to people and a place, Jae could get that promotion he always strives for, but I exist to wreak havoc in their dreams-"
"Kyungsoo they don't blame you for that. I hope you know that isn't your fault, Hydra are the ones who do this to your family. They love you more than anything, they hate what Hydra to do you as brothers."
"That's the problem. Let's say I ran and didn't stop, I'd hope they'd look for me for a bit but after that I want them, and even you, to move on with life and not feel burdened by my existance."
"If you are a burden, then I am a huge fan of inconveniences. You are my favourite hassle I think." Kyungsoo was beginning to ease into Peter's hold. He started to feel safe again and Peter didn't want that positive emotion to stop seeping to the surface.
"You know, I often swing a block away from here. I always want to come a poke my head in when I patrol. I miss seeing you, I know that sounds sappy, but I do mean it. I sit on the roof of the house that have their Christmas lights up all year around. I see your figure walk from your desk to your bed and think, maybe it's better if I don't disturb you, maybe you need some time alone. But I guess now you will have to get used to me showing up constantly." Kyungsoo didn't protest, he felt rather happy that Peter wanted to see him, even if it was to sit in silence. Kyungsoo has always been a person that felt comfort with just the energy of a person being close to him, especially if it was someone he held dearly to his heart.
The two sat in an extended silence, Peter's hand still making its runs through Kyungsoo's knotted hair, his eyes began to travel around the dimly lit room.
"The flowers I got you have withered."
"They have? I'm sorry."
"Hush. It's not an issue, just get you some new ones. They were ugly any way." The flowers, in a twisted way represented Kyungsoo, especially right now. As they withered they told the story of Kyungsoo and Peter falling apart and needed this water and sunshine to begin a process again. For the first time in a week, Kyungsoo got up for a reason rather than the needing the toilet. His legs collapsing but Peter was there to catch him.
His arm lifted with muscle pain coursing through it, but he continued. His fingertips brushing the drooping of the lifeless petals of the red carnations in the waterless vase.
"Red Carnation, not ugly at all Petey, I promise you. Red Carnations are a way to say my 'heart aches for you'. They are a way to present ones love and affection for someone." The withering of the love and affection that was shared between the two was represented perfectly by the dying flower in front of them both.
But as Kyungsoo let a tear fall on his hand that gently played with the flowers, life shot back through their stems and slowly the red bled its way back into the petals of the Red Carnation.
Peter would never get tired of seeing the beauty of life and death that came from Kyungsoo's abilities.
"You can always confide in me Kyungsoo. And when you feel like you can't, please just call me to sit with you and do nothing. You can even put my hair into that little heart shape you like doing when you think I'm asleep." Kyungsoo's eyes met the boys at last, silently agreeing but silently questioning how he let the boy know a weakness he liked to see on Peter. "It's not just you who can dig up treasures filled with secrets."
Kyungsoo didn't hesitate, even when his body screamed in agony as he moved too fast, to grab the shorter by his nape and pulling him close. Their breaths mingling into one heat as they stood as close as possible without contact. Peter's eyes closed, but Kyungsoo's remained opening admiring the boy he fell in love with. Too scared to say those words yet, he put them all into the kiss that was meant to happen.
Expressing his darkest but most beautiful thoughts and feelings into his eagerness and tenderness of his lips. Pulling Peter even further into his own even when it felt impossible to get closer, he would try.
He didn't want to lose the boy who had him weak at the knees.
Peter's hums of approval started to become more rapid as the he was guided to the bed, this time Peter was straddling Kyungsoo. His eyes finally opening to take in the sight that was Yoo Kyungsoo.
"Is that my trip to NYC shirt under your pillow?"
"It's hideous Petey, so it's a win win for me. You don't wear it but I get have a piece of you when you aren't here."
"Sappy."
"You know you love it baby. Also your kisses are way better than Brad's"
Peter thumped the boy across the head but his smug smile didn't go unnoticed.
"Hotter in this position too, Brad looked like he was going to murder from this angle. Also prettier, better hair, better arse. Oh don't get me started about that while you are in this Spider get up."
"Okay I get it Kyunggie, I'm better than Brad, now kiss me like you mean it." Kyungsoo was in awe, if he was animated, sparkles would be flying around him as he was starstruck by Peter who sat so comfortably a top of Kyungsoo's lap.
"Yes sir."
Peter's phone lit up from his backup, the ding bringing him back to the classroom that had one empty seat that would never be filled by the person he wished to see the most. He had made no falter in his movements, his rapid reach with his hand showed how much he wanted to check to see if at last Kyungsoo was able to message him.
'Let's go out to eat tonight. Love you always.'
May's name was the only thing to be present on his locked phone. Kyungsoo was gone, and Peter was struggling to come to terms with it. If he thought Spider-Man and school was too much to handle at once, this new found broken part of him was taking up much more time and energy than those two things could ever do, even combined.
Being lifeless sure took up a lot of energy.