*Anne's Pov*
"I just don't know what do right now," Logan cries out wiping her nose with her sleeve.
"Keep going would be a start," I say giving her a handkerchief.
Redundantly she grabs it and fiddles with it a while before actually using it. Then she crumbles the piece and lowers her hand down onto the sheet again. The room is empty apart from us and a scary gloom lingers over the furniture.
"I don't know why I did that. Why did I have to be so dumb?"
"You trusted the wrong one. That can happen to anybody. I know that doesn't help you forget, but it hopefully helps you to move on."
"I miss him," she lies back down onto her mattress and a tear is rolling down her face, all the way down to her ear.
"Why?," I ask confused.
"Because we did everything together and suddenly he is gone and off with someone else and-"
"And you are way better off without him. I really don't get how you can miss the time with him. You guys were total jerks."
Logan gives me a stern look: "It's really not the time to scold my behaviour now."
"Doesn't change the fact that you were an asshole though," I point out, standing up from my bed and walking to the closet to get out my robes for the evening feast.
I turn around when I hear Logan sob. Great. Way to go Anne, now you have a lot more to deal with.
"I didn't want to be one. I was just so- so- so angry and they made me believe I was someone. He- He made me believe I was someone. What am I without him now?"
"A capable living human being, that existed before him and that will exist after him," I throw her robe over her body: "Now get up, we need to get in time to the feast and knowing you, you will want to take care of your face first."
I pull on my robe and put my hair into a bun. The girl struggles out of bed and wipes her eyes a few times, still crying.
"Logan, your personality doesn't revolve around someone else. Your worth isn't defined by being someone's. You are already someone and everything else is an additional tool to work with. Now it's the time to find out, who you really want to be rather than long for something that wasn't truly yours anyways."
I almost believe she didn't get my words, then she nods her head and wipes her tears off a final time. She stands up and looks at me with a resolute face.
"I suppose you are right," she pulls on her robes: "I don't know why you are actually helping me, but thanks anyways."
---
Sitting at the breakfast table my mind still lingers around Logan's sentence. Why did I even bother to help her knowing fully well what she did to me and others. Shouldn't I just let her suffer in silence and let the others, her apparently all so well friends, deal with it?
Or is it the fact, that once you know how it is to be at the bottom and not to receive the help needed, it outweighs every other matter? Being used is an outcome nobody wants to be in the end at.
I look over at Ginny, who is tiredly poking her breakfast with her fork leaning her head against the palm of her hand. I wonder how often she has nightmares with creepy visions of the former self of the Dark Lord and how often she has to fight her trust issues that come along with it. I suddenly feel an ounce of anger towards Harry for having her trust and breaking it. I get his reasons as to why he believes he has to do it the way he does currently, but still didn't he really think about how's this independent girl going to feel.
"Today Kingsley will come over and then you can visit the friend of yours," Arthur chirps up pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Oh that's great. Their errands will be pretty low by now. Do you reckon it is possible for him and me to get grocery shopping as well? I know Mrs. Weasley you claimed I can just take stuff from here for them, though I feel highly unwell to take the amount of errands I have to bring them," I say placing my knife onto the now empty plate.
"Best thing we ask Kingsley how he wants to deal with that matter," Mrs. Weasley says placing another spoonful of eggs on Ron's plate.
"He can always get the groceries alone since he is a known member in the muggle community known as bodyguard of their prime minister," Bill speaks up: "I'm sure he will get everything for you in no time."
"That's a good point," I nod and chug down my tea.
"Is it possible for George and me to get into our shop today as well? We still need to sort out a lot and hasn't the situation cooled down by now? No one attacked us here, we aren't really interesting as of now, for the Death Eaters- so?," Fred looks hopeful around.
"Absolutely not," Mrs. Weasley says.
"Molly dear, they should be allowed to go out," Mr. Weasley speaks up: "We can't force them to stay in here. They are adults."
"Arthur, I know that. I just feel highly unwell with the thought of them leaving this area."
"Mum, nothing happened to us yesterday!," George points out: "And we can't hide forever. We need to look after our business. Dad goes to work every day and nothing happens!"
"That is another matter."
"How is that any different?," I ask: "He goes to his job, just as the boys do. Also, there is two of them to battle and sorry to say this Mister Weasley, way younger. Both of them combined is a dangerous combination and you know it very well."
"They are living legends in Hogwarts," Ron says: "Two big brains."
"Fine. Alright," the woman finally agrees: "If that's what you want to do, do it. But if there's something suspicious going on get away as soon as possible."
"Sure Mam," Fred teases her.
---
Later the twins, Kingsley and me are disguised in the muggle world. Each of us will go their separate way. The twins into the direction of Diagon Alley and Kingsley and me will run errands.
"You guys have everything?," Kingsley checks up on George and Fred.
"Yes Sir. No need to worry," Fred nods.
"You sure, you don't want to come with us first?," George asks me.
"No, it's better if I deal with the Cole and Logan matter first, " I shrug.
"Now come on brother, we need to finally deal with important matters again", says Fred.
Fred already pushes George with him and the boy waves at us to bid his goodbye. Kingsley and me start to walk the other direction, trying to be as unbothered as possible. It's still hard for me to fit into the Muggle world. Everything is so different here. The only thing I am actually proud of is the fact, that I am now a pro at using Muggle currency. It even impresses Kingsley how fast I deal with it.
"Someone's trained hard I see," he laughs meanwhile he carries the enchanted bags.
I put the money away: "Well doing it for some time now. If the ministry ever needs someone to deal for them, I am more than ready to provide my service."
The man gives me a warm smile and I take the bags from him: "Thank you for helping me out."
"It was nice spending some time with you, though now more important matters are calling me. If you don't mind," he points into a vague direction where he has to go.
"Oh no not at all. Go, I can deal with this perfectly on my own."
"Perfect. We'll see each other soon enough," Kingsley walks away and I watch him go until I lose him to the crowd.
Then I walk through the streets and alleys until a find an abandoned place and apparate to the secret home. When I arrive everything is quiet and peaceful. I stare at the little cabin that is sheltered near the woods and take the steady sounds of birds in. Somewhere in the distance a whole crowd of birds rises through the treetops and flies through the air with an almighty presence.
After all of this is over, I would wish for a place like this to live. Away from civilization, just nature and us and no one to give a damn. That we are wizards would make it easier to get to other places and product testing would turn out easier in the open for George.
I take in a deep breath of fresh air. Wandering up the stone path to the entrance I resay my choice of words to say, before knocking at the door with the secret sign we agreed at. The door swings open and a goofy smiling Cole stands behind it.
"It's always nice to see people who bring you food," he cheekily says, stepping aside to let me in.
"And here I was thinking you'd be that happy to just see me," I mutter walking into the cabin.
"Of course that too. But did you bring my pudding?," like a child he rummages through the bags once they are placed on the kitchen counter.
"Where's Logan?," I scan the room.
"Don't doge my question. Did you bring the pudding?," his searching gets more urgent.
"Logan?," I walk out of the room, making my way into the living room.
It's not as messy as it was the last time, which I assume is a positive sign. The front door opens and Logan comes in, her cheeks a bit flushed but overall looking unharmed and fine.
"Babe, you have to see my little tipi I built outside. I even decorated it with flowers and- oh you aren't babe," Logan stops abruptly in her movements.
"Sorry to disappoint."
"But are you interested in looking at my tipi?"
"Actually not really. I'm just here to check up on you and bring you-"
"YOU ACTUALLY FORGOT THE PUDDING?," Cole walks out of the kitchen: "THE AUDACITY."
The man looks at me bewildered and sad at the same time.
"Sorry to disappoint again," I run a hand through my hair.
"I was looking forward to that pudding since days," he pouts.
"You will survive it," I mumble.
"Anyways," Logan steps forward, giving Cole a scolding look: "Thank you for getting out of your way and bringing it to us. It really means a lot."
"No worries," I shrug.
"If ever needed, we will do the same for you," Cole reassures me.
"Though would you really?," I can't help myself but ask this question.
"What do you mean?," his expression turns stern.
I fumble with the fabric between my fingers and suddenly get very interested in a stain on the cushion. It seems to be dried chocolate.
"Anne?," Logan slowly steps forward, carefully reaching out a hand to me: "Be honest, what do you mean with that?"
I look up into her brown eyes, seeing the confusion in them. Of course she couldn't know. She wouldn't think of herself as someone who mainly took without giving, as someone unreliable, someone who could drop someone the instant someone better shows up. I don't want to be the one to say that to her face, the one to turn her reality upside down for the mere possibility of it. I said it before that this woman in front of me changed, both of them did, so why not trusting them?
"It's maybe stupid," I start:" However, the things that happened make it hard for me to believe that you wouldn't drop me and ignore me as soon as this is over and someone else shows up."
Logan looks at loss for words and sinks down onto the couch, meanwhile Cole stares between us confused.
"Things that happened?," he points between the two of us, trying to connect some invisible dots.
"I find it funny how you claimed to be my friend and never realized anything that would go down," I look over at him: "You just chose to see what you wanted to see. You chose to do as much as a friend that you wanted to bring up, but other than that it was me who should work for that friendship, given I'm me."
"What are you talking about? Of- Of course you were a friend of mine. When have I ever not realized when something was odd? I always asked you if you are alright."
"You hardly realized anything Cole," Logan mutters, bringing our attention down to her.
"Okay can someone finally tell me what in Salazars hairy balls is going on? Are you now accusing us of not being real friends?," he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up with it.
I swallow: "Yes. Yes that's exactly what I'm doing. But can you blame me? You don't even see now that most of the time everything revolved around you, while I was not even really there anymore. You chose to see that some of our classmates were pricks and had some serious issues in the way they behaved, but you chose to ignore how that affected me."
"I'm so sorry," Logan has her fingers pressed in front of her mouth: "Sorry for everything I did to you. It was not fair towards you, nothing of it was. Not me abusing my power over you. Not me taking advantage. Not me letting my anger out on you. I'm so so sorry for what I did, you did not in any way deserve it."
I sink down on the armchair as well, trying to collect my thoughts. Cole is the only one walking around, unable to calm down apparently.
"Then why did you do it? Why me? To this day I don't get why it had to be me? All I did was minding my business, all those years and you decided to pick on that and I never understood."
She carefully meets my eyes: "I don't know. Can I be honest?"
I nod slowly, honesty is the only thing I want from this conversation. I don't need my feelings spared.
"It's not like I was jealous of you. I didn't envy the life you had, with you just existing and not doing anything at all. I think I just saw in that a side of me I didn't want to see. The lazy side of me, the one that didn't reach the expectations of my family, the one that would give in on all that pressure. The fact that you simply not cared about anything made me a bit furious. I wanted you to care. At one point I realized that I had powers over others that I could use for my advantage. I never really thought about what that did to others. The way I manipulated them was so natural for me and I honestly believed it was entertaining, that I completely forgot about the consequences. And you had to carry most of them."
"All of this is a shitty excuse, I know, but it's the truth. I objected my personal issues on others rather than actively work on them. The wrong friend group helped my toxic way of thinking and had me in the wrong believe to be cool. It was never anything against your person, it was all my fault. I can understand why you feel this way and have doubts. I can't make you trust me, but I can tell you and promise you that it won't happened again. I will try my best to prevent that, because I wouldn't want to miss out on you as friend. Regardless of how much you are giving us. I am grateful that you gave me a second chance and that I was able to see your true self."
Finally, Cole settled down as well, resting his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and lost in thought.
"I really didn't care, did I?," he looks as though some vision of him is slowly crumbling apart.
"Cole, I- I hid a lot. Some of it you could have never known," I try to lighten the situation.
"But as you said I could have cared right?," the man looks at me, his eyes are cold.
"I just never understood how you could never realize how far away I was. How I was slowly slipping away and that I detached myself from everything and everyone. It only made me believe that you wouldn't care if I was gone. That you could go on without me and that the only way you still wanted me as a friend is when I am able to provide something useful for you," I stare at the floor.
I can hear the clicking of the clock louder than ever. My hands are slightly shaking. Suddenly a hand is resting on mine and warmth is spreading from it. For a moment I am in the dumb believe it is George who kneels there, only to look up and see Cole.
"I never wanted you around because you were useful. No wait let me keep talking before you say something. I wanted you around because you were you. I never had to pretend to be someone else. You accepted me and my strange habits. You were always honest with me and a great friend even, though you were always emotionally unavailable and more often than not distant. So the times you were absent and made yourself rare, I wanted to believe it was because that's how you are. I realize now how I could have done more and that I chose to ignore it. Can you forgive me?"
It feels real and genuine. I nod. He squeezes my hand.
"As Logan said, I am grateful to have you as a friend and I will try my best to make it up to you. I lacked my best friend duties."
"Wait wait wait. Who said you are my best friend?," I stare at him in disbelief.
"Me. I made myself it now," he grins at me.
"Alright, keep dreaming," I shake my head.
"Ah, yes. That's the honesty I was talking about," he laughs.
"I'm sorry I brought all of that up it's just-"
"Totally understandable why you did it," Logan finishes: "We are all growing up it seems. We are finally ready to deal with issues."
"And we are finally able to talk openly. Therefore, we need to ask you something," Cole says.
I start to fidget again: "Ab- About what?"
"Would you do us the honour and become a godmother?," suddenly he looks nervous.
My eyebrows furrow and my brain rattles. Godmother? My eyes widen when it makes click. Her not feeling well, them being locked away alone.
"Are you being serious?," I stare at Cole.
"Strange to say it out loud, but I am going to be a Dad."
"Oh fuck Merlin," I mumble.
"Rather stick to Logan, but I keep that in mind."
"That's- I- I don't know what to say. Is that a good thing?"
"That I would fuck Merlin or that we are expecting?"
"The latter. The Merlin one doesn't concern me after the number of girlfriends you had."
"Thanks for bringing that up," he laughs.
"I know it is weird, giving the time we are in," Logan stand up and walks over to us: "I was shocked at first when I finally realized it. Now I believe we are giving a small miracle. I just hope we don't have a second Harry Potter here."
"And if that all should go down like it did with Potter, let's hope not, we would want you to be the one taking care of that little human. There is no one I would trust more," Cole let's go of my hand.
"Are you sure about that? I'm not the best with kids. Definitely not the friendliest. A lot of baggage I would bring into that and-"
"And you would try your best to work on that. It's you after all. Also the chances of us dying in here are very slim so we are positive it won't be necessary that early," he shrugs.
"You guys are crazy. I have to be crazy too, because I would love to be the godmother."
Their face lights up and Cole pulls me into a hug: "Thank you."
It's weird how close we are and I don't know how to react other than stiffen. We never hugged nor made body contact. Grateful, he lets go of me.
"We have to celebrate that," Logan says: "Shame you didn't bring his pudding."
"Are you kidding me?," I throw my hands up making them laugh.
---
It's strangely silent when I walk through the streets of London, the past conversation still lingering in my mind, engraving every important detail. They are really going to have a kid. They are really going to be parents. It's strange to think of them that way.
We are old enough to have kids, we are old enough to be burdened with such responsibility, though I couldn't imagine having to take care of a baby just now. I know, great start for being a godmother. I wonder how George will react to these news.
The sun is slowly descending behind the skyline and the golden hour has officially arrived. Occasionally you see a stranger passing, but aside from that it is quiet and peaceful. I hope Diagon Alley is just as quiet. I turn into a hidden passageway when a bad feeling makes me stop. Instinctively I reach for my wand and hold it tight. I cannot say what is bothering me, but something doesn't seem right at all.
Carefully I turn around and all I can see is the main street with a golden filter on and a car passing by. A big contrast to the cold and dilapidated path in front of me. Maybe it's just me being paranoid again. It is as if someone is watching me out of the shadows. I keep walking forward, concentrating on my breath and the way the wood feels in my hand, how the cuts run along it and were it is uneven.
Then a shuffle and I quickly turn again, wand raised, heart beating fast. Still nothing. The faster I get out of here, the better. I quicken my steps and try to rush to the end, when I'm certain someone is here. In time I turn around and cast a spell in the direction. A body ducks out of the way and I can make out it's silhouette.
"Who the fuck are you?," I raise my wand towards their face: "Come out now."
I take the connection to the cloaked figure that tried to kill Logan and me so long ago. The person doesn't move and I could run. I could run and make my way to the twins and get ourselves into safety. However, something is telling me to stay. I need to know why this person is following me exactly. I need to know who I was hiding from for so long.
"I said move," I take a step closer and finally the body moves out of the shadow.
The hood of its cloaked conceals their face, but the person doesn't show any sign of wanting a fight. This makes me just more nervous. What if there are others, lurking in the shadows and on the rooftops to get me when I don't look and wouldn't be prepared?
"Why are you following me? Speak!"
The hooded figure lifts their hands, a wand peeking out of their sleeve and I instantly duck a bit. Nothing happens, but it still could have been a trick. I quickly look at the sky and behind me. Still no one there. When I turn around I choke on my own salvia.
Caleb.
My wand almost slips out of my hand and my body goes through every emotion a normal human can have.
"Hey," it's strange to hear his voice after all this time.
Strange to see him standing there. Strange to see him being so calm. His calmness makes me furious and I cast a curse his way. He doges it perfectly and blocks my next one. The rage I'm feeling is taking over my consciousness. I throw one spell after the other onto him. He is quick skilled, knows my way of fighting and is a strong dueler himself.
"How dare you," I spit out: "to have the audacity to come up here and pretend as if nothing happened."
"I'm not going to pretend nothing happened. I know perfectly well what I did, but I also know that I didn't break my promise," he casts a spell back and sends me stumbling backwards a bit.
"Wow, so murdering my Dad is not breaking any promise at all hu?," I cast a charm his way.
"I promised you to never let anything hurt you again and your Dad will never ever do it again. Do you think it was fun for me to do that?," he jumps out of the way and rolls over and dusts himself of.
I feel my lip quiver. Who is that boy in front of me?
"I had to do it. I had to take care of him before it all goes out of hand. I made sure that nothing should happen to you."
"So letting that Death Eater almost kill me is totally okay? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID TO ME?," I throw an explosive curse his way catching him off guard and letting him fall to the ground.
He stares up at me with panic in his eyes after I send his wand flying away. I must look furious the way I hover above him. Wand pointed directly at his face.
"Why? Why did you join them? Why did you do this to you?," I try to keep my voice calm and composed.
"I had no other choice. It was the only right way. You would have understood if you saw the things I have seen," Caleb says.
I scoff: "I could never understand how going to the Dark side is the answer, how hurting and killing people should solve anything and yet I am very temped to make you feel at least a bit of the pain you put me through."
My hand shakes and the tip of my wand is throwing sparks. I look at him and just see the face of the boy he was when we build our pillow fort, when we hid from danger, when we relied on each other. The boy that has a special place in my heart.
"I never wanted to hurt you. I tried my best."
"And I never wanted to hate you and yet here we are!," my voice is growing desperate: "Why haven't you told me about it? I could have helped you!"
"You couldn't have," Caleb lets go a quiet laugh: "I already made up my mind. There would have been nothing you could have done."
"So you wanted it?," my fears are getting true.
"Yes and I am sorry," he flinches when I raise my wand higher and the tip glows redder, though he stretches out is chest as if he was ready to receive any punishment.
I stare at him with pure hatred, I could end what he did in matter of seconds. He deserves it. He would deserve it so much. After all he did to everyone, he deserves it. But-
"No I can't hurt you. Merlin how much I hate the fact that I just can't seem to hurt you!," I look down on him in front of me.
My wand is raised, the tip glowing, my hand shaking. I wouldn't even need to use my wand, I could kick him with my boot and yet I'm unable to do so.
"Anne please-," his eyes look desperately up at me.
"Fucks sake, you know perfectly well why I can't hurt you," my voice cracks and I can feel the tears welling up.
Caleb slowly tries to sit up further, but decides against it when I grip my wand tighter. When he sees my tears, that are slowly rolling down my cheeks, he seems hurt himself.
"After all," I gulp and take a deep breath, trying to be as composed as possible: "After all you are still family and you have no idea how much I hate that fact. But I can't hurt family."
I sniff, feeling how wet my cheeks are getting and how blurry my vision. This guy in front of me, as pathetic as he looks now, is my brother and we went through so much, I cannot do this to him. I could never.
Caleb's eyes well up to and for a moment he looks like the broken boy in my bedroom again, hiding with me from the world. Hiding from reality, hiding from something he did wrong. My stance stiffens immediately.
"Anne- I'm- please just hurt me," he tries hard to keep his voice steady.
"No- No Caleb. I won't."
"Please. Please just do it. I deserve it."
I shake my head, lowering my wand. The sparks stopped. I take deep composed breaths looking directly in his eyes. He needs to see how much damage he does and then he breaks.
"I-I'm so sorry," he chokes out and I suddenly realize that there is more to it.
"What- what did you do?," my heartbeat increases again.
"I was send here- I- I- I had to deal with you so the others could-," he avoids my gaze, shaking.
"What do you mean?," I grab him by the collar and force him to look at me.
"The twins- they are in danger."
I immediately let go of his shirt and stand up straight. It feels like my whole world is tumbling now. No. no no no no no no. The boys are in the shop. Alone. It was a trap all along. They just waited for us to be as dumb to believe we are safe. I stumble backwards. Shaking my head in disbelief I try to grasp onto a good thought, a rational thought even.
"I hate you Caleb," with one last glance at him I disapparate and think of the Joke Shop as my destination, not knowing what will expect me there.
With a hammering heart I open my eyes, ready to fight every obstacle that is thrown in my way. Though it is quiet and peaceful around me. I squint my eyes in the dark room and once my eyes have adjusted I see all the damage. Spells were thrown around, furniture thrown and I even see blood on the wall. I swallow and run as quietly as possible through the store.